Joshua + William || Seeking counsel
Who: Joshua and William
When: July 28th (Yesterday)
Where: The Citadel
Ratings & Warnings: PG
None of this made any sense. First the nave was changing, and now mysterious doors where appearing out of nowhere. If William had been anyone else, he would have been convinced that the Golden Hour was behind all of this. One or two of the Initiates were already whispering as such, particularly when they felt William wasn't paying attention and when they were certain the older man was distracted enough to not reprimand them for it. Part of William wanted to believe it, and, yet, he found he couldn't. There just wasn't any logical reason for anyone in the Hour to try to convince people to Believe rooms and doors into existence or to Believe the stained glass in the nave was different colors than they actually were.
And even if they had, who would be foolish enough to Believe doors that didn't lead anywhere into the Citadel?
What was strangest to him, however, were the flowers. He had first noticed it in the stained glass in the nave, and now here on a wall hanging down a hallway close to it. Both here and in the nave, the flowers were purple. He had passed by this particular wall hanging many times, and the flowers had been quite beautiful and colorful. And somehow now they were all purple. With a sigh, William took a step back from the wall hanging to study it more closely. If the flowers had changed in this one, had anything else? Perhaps that would help them figure out what (or who) was causing all of this.
Pacing had been one of his most frequent habits of late, and he was determined to break himself of it. So, instead of pacing, he wandered. It was the same activity, but one lead nowhere while the other took him wherever he wished. Most of his wandering took him about the Citadel, and every time he passed a painting or stained glass, he found himself wanting to either stare at it to find all the differences, or turn and flee.
With others whispering about things being different, and acknowledgement of these changes over the ledgers, Joshua felt less inclined to believe he was going mad. But it still bothered him. His interaction with Isvelle still hung over his head like a dire warning, and he had no idea what to do about that.
Paying just enough attention to his surroundings to avoid walking into anyone, he let his mind wander, only ceasing when he spotted William in the hall, inspecting the wall hanging. He paused, hesitating. On the one hand, he didn't want to be reminded of the changes. On the other, speaking to someone about it might help him come to terms with it. Mentally tossing a coin, the Cancellarius approached. "Brother," he greeted as he neared, his gaze rising to the tapestry, which suddenly brought a frown to his brows and caused further hesitation. It took a moment to recover before he could continue. "I was wondering if perhaps I could speak with you."
He had been intently studying the wall hanging when Joshua spoke, and the very sound of his voice made the priest tense. At one time, William had been fairly friendly with the Occia's Cancellarius. However, since the incident with Allen, William had gone out of his way to avoid them. He knew he shouldn't have let it bother him. After all, what they did was really none of his business. Yet to be in Cita's house and to treat a human being as they had was unforgivable in his eyes.
The worst part was that he couldn't exactly pretend he hadn't heard the other man. If he had been in a hurry to get somewhere, he could have easily brushed him off, but when they had met like this in the hallway and the other man was asking to speak with him, he couldn't ignore it. He listened to others; he had to do the same for one of the Occia's Cancellarius, no matter how angry with the group he was.
"Of course, Brother," he said, turning to look at Joshua with a smile on his face. He could pretend nothing was wrong or bothering him just like everybody else. It just hurt a bit more.
Joshua was doing little to disguise his own unease, though it was easy to tell it wasn't directed at William. The Cancellarius was on edge, tense, his expression troubled. He hadn't slept well since that night without the aid of tonics, and he hated to have to rely on something such as that just to get a good night's sleep. His hand rose to rub at his brow, then dropped again, and he folded his hands before him, eyes inspecting the tapestry.
"Have you-" He paused, trying to figure out what to say to the man. "The changes to the Citadel. Do you think they could affect those within as well?" He cast a glance towards William as he asked.
That seemed like a strange question. Frowning, William turned back to look at the tapestry, waiting. For a moment, he almost expected it to change in front of his eyes. When it didn't, he was almost relieved. If Joshua was worried about the changes as he seemed to be, seeing it change while they were both looking at it probably wouldn't have helped matters.
"I don't believe so." After all, the changes were simply material things. It was possible whatever was doing this was simply getting warmed up, but if they could change things all over the entire Citadel, what was stopping them from changing things about the people within it? That was something he didn't want to think about it. "Whatever's doing this seems only interested in changing material things. If whatever it is has enough power to do this and they wanted to affect us, Brother, I'm fairly certain they would have done it all ready."
He wasn't sure if that made him feel better or worse, his gaze returning to the tapestry with a frown. It did nothing to explain the cold he'd felt when he'd touched Isvelle, nor the things she'd said to him. But he was reluctant to mention the incident. Was it possible he'd imagined the whole thing? At least the cold, surely?
Joshua shook his head, letting his eyes fall to the floor, his lips pursed thoughtfully. "So you haven't noticed any odd chills, or anything else out of the ordinary? Just changes to objects."
"Just to the objects," he confirmed with a nod. "There's a stained glass window by the altar that has a new figure in it, for example, but I can't say I've noticed anything like that."
He wasn't as familiar with Joshua as he was with Avith or (sometimes) even Tobias, but he was almost certain something was bothering the other man. What he felt for the Cancellarius was irrelevant, especially now. The other man seemed genuinely concerned about something, and Joshua had never struck him as the sort of man to worry needlessly, especially about something like this. "Have you, Brother?"
Doors appearing out of nowhere, depictions changing appearances, he could've sworn some parts of the exterior seemed in better repair than previously... None of it seemed harmful, and he couldn't believe anyone at the Hour would be causing such changes as some prank. They would have to know the layout of the building, he suspected. But, could an Other be within the building and causing these things to happen...? But why?
"Hmm?" His eyes rose to William as the question drew him out of his thoughts. "No." A pause. "I don't know. Perhaps I imagined it. I hadn't been sleeping well."
He knew better than anyone how easy it was to think they had imagined any of this. He had assumed he had been imagining the flowers being different colors or had simply forgotten about the room behind the newly created doors. After all, he was getting old whether he liked it or not, and forgetting things like that was incredibly common so he had learned. However, learning other people had experienced the same thing had helped him. Perhaps it would help Joshua.
"Brother, if you've seen something, it may not be your imagination. I'm sure I wasn't the only one who thought I had simply imagined the changes to the windows and the wall hangings at first." Giving him his best comforting smile, he put a hand on Joshua's shoulder. "Please... if it will help you to talk about it, whether you've imagined it or not, I'm more than willing to listen."
He hated keeping secrets. And he was a terrible liar, as he'd learned. But Isvelle had kept a secret for him, and he couldn't just go out and say what he'd felt without talking to her about it first. He stared up at the tapestry silently, trying to figure out how to answer. He was troubled. He wanted to speak of it. But he had to speak to her of it.
Joshua let out a heavy sigh. "I am glad that I'm not the only one seeing things change in the decor. The other thing... a chill, when I'd first started to notice the changes. I was looking at a painting and felt it." He looked to William. "I haven't felt it since. Perhaps I was overwhelmed with thinking I was going mad, and that combined with the lack of sleep may have given me chills." He was trying to convince himself more than the other man, a weak smile on his face.
His hand rose, fingers combing through his short hair as his gaze wandered down the hall. "There have been other things troubling me. Nothing to do with... well, this." He motioned towards the wall hanging as his eyes returned to the priest, then let his hand fall and folded it neatly with the other again. He spoke softly, his earlier glance having told him the hall was empty, at least for the moment. "The Cancellari... well, we seem to be at odds in some issues. I suppose it is not unexpected, but it is difficult. You've been here longer than I. I was wondering if I could ask your counsel."
If it had been anybody else, William might not have believed the words that had come out of Joshua's mouth. However, he didn't think Joshua had any real reason to lie to him, either, at least not that William could see.
Instead, he listened, eyes widening a bit in surprise when Joshua mentioned the Cancellari and them being at odds with each other. And now Joshua was asking him for his opinion? Saying he was surprised would have been an incredible understatement. It shouldn't have mattered to him what they did. He knew that, and yet Allen had even suggested he go to Joshua to try to get him released at the time. Perhaps this would be a good thing? "I don't know what help I can be, Brother, but I will certainly try."
"Brother Burrell..." It was not an easy topic to discuss. There hadn't even been much discussion of it since the Occia's recovery, at least none that he'd been privy to. "I know rumour of his madness has run rampant, but I wonder if it is madness or merely lack of discipline. He does not like us. He did not like us even before recent events, but things have only gone downhill since then." Joshua shook his head. "I do not blame him for being angry with us over that, but he doesn't even try to understand."
He let out a sigh. "It is as though he is determined to prove his madness. If that is what it is, I wish he'd ask for help" The look he gave the other man was one of helplessness. "I do not wish to keep them separated like this, but I do not know what to do to try and fix things." He'd been putting off trying to speak with the other Cancellari about it. He'd been here longer than the rest, and should have a better understanding, but... "Having my own family, I feel conflicted over the situation and am not certain if I should act or let the others handle it." Truthfully, the incident with Isvelle had made him give the situation much more thought, though he'd been torn over it since Moirine's recover, even considered offering to bring her to see him, but was hesitant with the way things were in the streets.
He should have guessed that this was what Joshua wanted to talk about. It was a bit surprising (at least to him) that he had not. It was almost comforting that the other man was not fine with the decisions the Cancellarius had made with regards to Brother Allen, but, at the same time, he hadn't done anything about it. Neither did you, William had to remind himself the moment the thought had crossed his mind. He still hated himself for that.
"If you disagree with the way things are being handled," William began, "I believe you should say something. There were times when I know I should have, and I'm ashamed to say that I didn't." Recently, in fact, but he wouldn't provide Joshua with details unless he asked. "But, at the time, I do not believe what was driving Brother Allen was madness. His entire world shifted to concern for his sister's health, and when he was denied that and trapped as he was, I cannot imagine that helped him. If he didn't hate the Cancellarius before, he certainly may now." No one would blame Allen for that, he was sure. From what he understood from his visit with the man at the time, he had told Tobias something, presumably in confidence, and Allen felt Tobias used that to trick him. The only way to hash out the truth of it would have been to confront Tobias, and he was almost certain Tobias would have told him it was none of his business.
Joshua considered whether or not he should give William details of the situation. Admittedly, he hadn't witnessed it himself, but he did trust in his fellow Cancellari enough to believe what had been said. He wondered if that was a fault or a strength. "The situation..." He trailed off, letting out another sigh. "I do not know if I should break confidence to discuss it or not. It is complicated." He did take the advice to heart, though. Perhaps he could find time to speak with the other Cancellari, individually if not in counsel. And Moirine, as well. Allen was her brother, her flesh and blood. She had a right to have a say.
"Thank you, Brother. You have helped more than you know." Not only in building his confidence, but also in helping him come to decisions he'd been faltering with for days.
William didn't expect him to break confidence, to be honest. In fact, he had been a little surprised the other man had asked him about any of this at all, and, while he had told William he had helped, he wasn't certain he had said or done anything that was particularly helpful. However, Joshua seemed convinced he had done something, and, in the end, that was all that mattered, wasn't it? "I'm glad I could be of help, then, but... Brother, be certain before you act." He had always felt the Cancellarius were meant to act as one voice in the end. The last thing he wanted was to cause chaos amongst them when he wasn't one of them in the first place.
"Of course. I'll consult with the other Cancellari before taking action." He had no idea what that would accomplish, but he hoped he could persuade something out of some of them. If nothing else, get it talked about. Consulting the Occia might even stir her to force them into action, though that would be a delicate matter... He'd have to think deeply on what to speak of. ...starting with an apology.
He was about to bid William farewell when he recalled another previous conversation. "If you still wish to learn how to bake, we should arrange something for the weekend."
Amidst the situation with Allen and all the changes, he had almost forgotten about Joshua agreeing to teach him to bake. Something normal, especially now, would be wonderful, and he couldn't help but smile at him in return. "If you're still willing to teach me."
A chuckle met those words. "Of course. It's a good past-time." He then offered a faint grin. "We could bake cookies for the initiates. Perhaps with their hands busy and their mouths full for a time, they'll gossip less and not scribble on the walls behind strange doors."
"It would be easier to try to stop it before it starts." Well, hopefully. At least that would spare them from the complaints and the pouting when they were told to clean it. "Let me know when you're free?"
"It's already started. I checked behind the door the Handmaiden mentioned and someone had scribbled 'The wall' on it. Of all things." He smirked, then nodded. "I will find time and let you know. Until then, Brother." Joshua bowed his head, then turned to walk down the hall. He had the start of a plan, which had improved his mood. He'd have to speak with William more often.
When: July 28th (Yesterday)
Where: The Citadel
Ratings & Warnings: PG
None of this made any sense. First the nave was changing, and now mysterious doors where appearing out of nowhere. If William had been anyone else, he would have been convinced that the Golden Hour was behind all of this. One or two of the Initiates were already whispering as such, particularly when they felt William wasn't paying attention and when they were certain the older man was distracted enough to not reprimand them for it. Part of William wanted to believe it, and, yet, he found he couldn't. There just wasn't any logical reason for anyone in the Hour to try to convince people to Believe rooms and doors into existence or to Believe the stained glass in the nave was different colors than they actually were.
And even if they had, who would be foolish enough to Believe doors that didn't lead anywhere into the Citadel?
What was strangest to him, however, were the flowers. He had first noticed it in the stained glass in the nave, and now here on a wall hanging down a hallway close to it. Both here and in the nave, the flowers were purple. He had passed by this particular wall hanging many times, and the flowers had been quite beautiful and colorful. And somehow now they were all purple. With a sigh, William took a step back from the wall hanging to study it more closely. If the flowers had changed in this one, had anything else? Perhaps that would help them figure out what (or who) was causing all of this.
Pacing had been one of his most frequent habits of late, and he was determined to break himself of it. So, instead of pacing, he wandered. It was the same activity, but one lead nowhere while the other took him wherever he wished. Most of his wandering took him about the Citadel, and every time he passed a painting or stained glass, he found himself wanting to either stare at it to find all the differences, or turn and flee.
With others whispering about things being different, and acknowledgement of these changes over the ledgers, Joshua felt less inclined to believe he was going mad. But it still bothered him. His interaction with Isvelle still hung over his head like a dire warning, and he had no idea what to do about that.
Paying just enough attention to his surroundings to avoid walking into anyone, he let his mind wander, only ceasing when he spotted William in the hall, inspecting the wall hanging. He paused, hesitating. On the one hand, he didn't want to be reminded of the changes. On the other, speaking to someone about it might help him come to terms with it. Mentally tossing a coin, the Cancellarius approached. "Brother," he greeted as he neared, his gaze rising to the tapestry, which suddenly brought a frown to his brows and caused further hesitation. It took a moment to recover before he could continue. "I was wondering if perhaps I could speak with you."
He had been intently studying the wall hanging when Joshua spoke, and the very sound of his voice made the priest tense. At one time, William had been fairly friendly with the Occia's Cancellarius. However, since the incident with Allen, William had gone out of his way to avoid them. He knew he shouldn't have let it bother him. After all, what they did was really none of his business. Yet to be in Cita's house and to treat a human being as they had was unforgivable in his eyes.
The worst part was that he couldn't exactly pretend he hadn't heard the other man. If he had been in a hurry to get somewhere, he could have easily brushed him off, but when they had met like this in the hallway and the other man was asking to speak with him, he couldn't ignore it. He listened to others; he had to do the same for one of the Occia's Cancellarius, no matter how angry with the group he was.
"Of course, Brother," he said, turning to look at Joshua with a smile on his face. He could pretend nothing was wrong or bothering him just like everybody else. It just hurt a bit more.
Joshua was doing little to disguise his own unease, though it was easy to tell it wasn't directed at William. The Cancellarius was on edge, tense, his expression troubled. He hadn't slept well since that night without the aid of tonics, and he hated to have to rely on something such as that just to get a good night's sleep. His hand rose to rub at his brow, then dropped again, and he folded his hands before him, eyes inspecting the tapestry.
"Have you-" He paused, trying to figure out what to say to the man. "The changes to the Citadel. Do you think they could affect those within as well?" He cast a glance towards William as he asked.
That seemed like a strange question. Frowning, William turned back to look at the tapestry, waiting. For a moment, he almost expected it to change in front of his eyes. When it didn't, he was almost relieved. If Joshua was worried about the changes as he seemed to be, seeing it change while they were both looking at it probably wouldn't have helped matters.
"I don't believe so." After all, the changes were simply material things. It was possible whatever was doing this was simply getting warmed up, but if they could change things all over the entire Citadel, what was stopping them from changing things about the people within it? That was something he didn't want to think about it. "Whatever's doing this seems only interested in changing material things. If whatever it is has enough power to do this and they wanted to affect us, Brother, I'm fairly certain they would have done it all ready."
He wasn't sure if that made him feel better or worse, his gaze returning to the tapestry with a frown. It did nothing to explain the cold he'd felt when he'd touched Isvelle, nor the things she'd said to him. But he was reluctant to mention the incident. Was it possible he'd imagined the whole thing? At least the cold, surely?
Joshua shook his head, letting his eyes fall to the floor, his lips pursed thoughtfully. "So you haven't noticed any odd chills, or anything else out of the ordinary? Just changes to objects."
"Just to the objects," he confirmed with a nod. "There's a stained glass window by the altar that has a new figure in it, for example, but I can't say I've noticed anything like that."
He wasn't as familiar with Joshua as he was with Avith or (sometimes) even Tobias, but he was almost certain something was bothering the other man. What he felt for the Cancellarius was irrelevant, especially now. The other man seemed genuinely concerned about something, and Joshua had never struck him as the sort of man to worry needlessly, especially about something like this. "Have you, Brother?"
Doors appearing out of nowhere, depictions changing appearances, he could've sworn some parts of the exterior seemed in better repair than previously... None of it seemed harmful, and he couldn't believe anyone at the Hour would be causing such changes as some prank. They would have to know the layout of the building, he suspected. But, could an Other be within the building and causing these things to happen...? But why?
"Hmm?" His eyes rose to William as the question drew him out of his thoughts. "No." A pause. "I don't know. Perhaps I imagined it. I hadn't been sleeping well."
He knew better than anyone how easy it was to think they had imagined any of this. He had assumed he had been imagining the flowers being different colors or had simply forgotten about the room behind the newly created doors. After all, he was getting old whether he liked it or not, and forgetting things like that was incredibly common so he had learned. However, learning other people had experienced the same thing had helped him. Perhaps it would help Joshua.
"Brother, if you've seen something, it may not be your imagination. I'm sure I wasn't the only one who thought I had simply imagined the changes to the windows and the wall hangings at first." Giving him his best comforting smile, he put a hand on Joshua's shoulder. "Please... if it will help you to talk about it, whether you've imagined it or not, I'm more than willing to listen."
He hated keeping secrets. And he was a terrible liar, as he'd learned. But Isvelle had kept a secret for him, and he couldn't just go out and say what he'd felt without talking to her about it first. He stared up at the tapestry silently, trying to figure out how to answer. He was troubled. He wanted to speak of it. But he had to speak to her of it.
Joshua let out a heavy sigh. "I am glad that I'm not the only one seeing things change in the decor. The other thing... a chill, when I'd first started to notice the changes. I was looking at a painting and felt it." He looked to William. "I haven't felt it since. Perhaps I was overwhelmed with thinking I was going mad, and that combined with the lack of sleep may have given me chills." He was trying to convince himself more than the other man, a weak smile on his face.
His hand rose, fingers combing through his short hair as his gaze wandered down the hall. "There have been other things troubling me. Nothing to do with... well, this." He motioned towards the wall hanging as his eyes returned to the priest, then let his hand fall and folded it neatly with the other again. He spoke softly, his earlier glance having told him the hall was empty, at least for the moment. "The Cancellari... well, we seem to be at odds in some issues. I suppose it is not unexpected, but it is difficult. You've been here longer than I. I was wondering if I could ask your counsel."
If it had been anybody else, William might not have believed the words that had come out of Joshua's mouth. However, he didn't think Joshua had any real reason to lie to him, either, at least not that William could see.
Instead, he listened, eyes widening a bit in surprise when Joshua mentioned the Cancellari and them being at odds with each other. And now Joshua was asking him for his opinion? Saying he was surprised would have been an incredible understatement. It shouldn't have mattered to him what they did. He knew that, and yet Allen had even suggested he go to Joshua to try to get him released at the time. Perhaps this would be a good thing? "I don't know what help I can be, Brother, but I will certainly try."
"Brother Burrell..." It was not an easy topic to discuss. There hadn't even been much discussion of it since the Occia's recovery, at least none that he'd been privy to. "I know rumour of his madness has run rampant, but I wonder if it is madness or merely lack of discipline. He does not like us. He did not like us even before recent events, but things have only gone downhill since then." Joshua shook his head. "I do not blame him for being angry with us over that, but he doesn't even try to understand."
He let out a sigh. "It is as though he is determined to prove his madness. If that is what it is, I wish he'd ask for help" The look he gave the other man was one of helplessness. "I do not wish to keep them separated like this, but I do not know what to do to try and fix things." He'd been putting off trying to speak with the other Cancellari about it. He'd been here longer than the rest, and should have a better understanding, but... "Having my own family, I feel conflicted over the situation and am not certain if I should act or let the others handle it." Truthfully, the incident with Isvelle had made him give the situation much more thought, though he'd been torn over it since Moirine's recover, even considered offering to bring her to see him, but was hesitant with the way things were in the streets.
He should have guessed that this was what Joshua wanted to talk about. It was a bit surprising (at least to him) that he had not. It was almost comforting that the other man was not fine with the decisions the Cancellarius had made with regards to Brother Allen, but, at the same time, he hadn't done anything about it. Neither did you, William had to remind himself the moment the thought had crossed his mind. He still hated himself for that.
"If you disagree with the way things are being handled," William began, "I believe you should say something. There were times when I know I should have, and I'm ashamed to say that I didn't." Recently, in fact, but he wouldn't provide Joshua with details unless he asked. "But, at the time, I do not believe what was driving Brother Allen was madness. His entire world shifted to concern for his sister's health, and when he was denied that and trapped as he was, I cannot imagine that helped him. If he didn't hate the Cancellarius before, he certainly may now." No one would blame Allen for that, he was sure. From what he understood from his visit with the man at the time, he had told Tobias something, presumably in confidence, and Allen felt Tobias used that to trick him. The only way to hash out the truth of it would have been to confront Tobias, and he was almost certain Tobias would have told him it was none of his business.
Joshua considered whether or not he should give William details of the situation. Admittedly, he hadn't witnessed it himself, but he did trust in his fellow Cancellari enough to believe what had been said. He wondered if that was a fault or a strength. "The situation..." He trailed off, letting out another sigh. "I do not know if I should break confidence to discuss it or not. It is complicated." He did take the advice to heart, though. Perhaps he could find time to speak with the other Cancellari, individually if not in counsel. And Moirine, as well. Allen was her brother, her flesh and blood. She had a right to have a say.
"Thank you, Brother. You have helped more than you know." Not only in building his confidence, but also in helping him come to decisions he'd been faltering with for days.
William didn't expect him to break confidence, to be honest. In fact, he had been a little surprised the other man had asked him about any of this at all, and, while he had told William he had helped, he wasn't certain he had said or done anything that was particularly helpful. However, Joshua seemed convinced he had done something, and, in the end, that was all that mattered, wasn't it? "I'm glad I could be of help, then, but... Brother, be certain before you act." He had always felt the Cancellarius were meant to act as one voice in the end. The last thing he wanted was to cause chaos amongst them when he wasn't one of them in the first place.
"Of course. I'll consult with the other Cancellari before taking action." He had no idea what that would accomplish, but he hoped he could persuade something out of some of them. If nothing else, get it talked about. Consulting the Occia might even stir her to force them into action, though that would be a delicate matter... He'd have to think deeply on what to speak of. ...starting with an apology.
He was about to bid William farewell when he recalled another previous conversation. "If you still wish to learn how to bake, we should arrange something for the weekend."
Amidst the situation with Allen and all the changes, he had almost forgotten about Joshua agreeing to teach him to bake. Something normal, especially now, would be wonderful, and he couldn't help but smile at him in return. "If you're still willing to teach me."
A chuckle met those words. "Of course. It's a good past-time." He then offered a faint grin. "We could bake cookies for the initiates. Perhaps with their hands busy and their mouths full for a time, they'll gossip less and not scribble on the walls behind strange doors."
"It would be easier to try to stop it before it starts." Well, hopefully. At least that would spare them from the complaints and the pouting when they were told to clean it. "Let me know when you're free?"
"It's already started. I checked behind the door the Handmaiden mentioned and someone had scribbled 'The wall' on it. Of all things." He smirked, then nodded. "I will find time and let you know. Until then, Brother." Joshua bowed his head, then turned to walk down the hall. He had the start of a plan, which had improved his mood. He'd have to speak with William more often.