RAYNA + DUNCAN // rayna goes nuts pt. 2
Who: Duncan & Rayna
When: After this.
Where: Duncan and Rayna's home.
Rating & Warnings: PG.
Duncan wasn't gonna lie. He was outright panicked. Rayna was talking heresies on the ledgers and antagonizing not one but two of the Occia's Cancellari, and even though he felt the same way about Cita's religion being a complete joke the rest of the city did not feel that way and she was going to get herself hanged.
He didn't think this through very well--or at all--but it was time for drastic measures! He slammed his own ledger shut and ran to her room, threw open the door, and snatched her ledger right off of her desk.
Rayna was already livid. Everyone knew about Ermesinda's- Ermesinda's whatever. It had nearly had its throat slit. Rohaly had been lynched and Niran had been driven out of the country for trying to take back his own ledger? Had everyone turned coward but her? It was great fun to worship Cita when they decked the city out in flowers and threw you parties and got you drunk, but day in and day out what was the Citadel but a bunch of bullies? Enough. The Citadel had been a part of her all her life and Rayna had finally decided enough.
She was scribbling furiously when Duncan burst into her study. Rayna pulled her pen-hand away and gaped up at her husband. What did he expect to do about this? When her ledger was taken from her, however, Rayna got to her feet. "Give it back," she demanded quietly as to not awaken their sons. "Give it back right now." He had no right to silence her.
"No." And then he remembered his sons were sleeping and repeated, quieter, "No." And he was going to do his VERY GODDAMN BEST to keep the ledger out of reach no matter how she grabbed for it.
Why would she swing her hands at him like a child? The ledger was her property. Getting to her feet, Rayna set her pen down, splattering ink all over her desk. She gritted her teeth and stared up at Duncan. Did he think this was a game to her? She fully accepted that she was being stupid. Hell, she knew that. But somebody had to say it. And, well, since her husband had unduly proved that he would never be brave enough to come out against the Citadel, he could raise their children if she got run out of the city, or worse.
They were all just patients to him, weren't they? Rayna didn't love him any less for thinking that. He was still her husband. But her opinions wouldn't change. "I said what I did because anyone else would have been tossed out the city gates by now." Left to be eaten by wolves or vampires in an ironic turn. "They have to listen to me for a short while. And when the Hour casts me off," which she was certain they would, "I'll do my research at home."
But how she'd hate herself if she didn't say anything. How did Duncan not hate himself?
Duncan was well-experienced in the art of hating himself, that was how! He was a muhfuggin pro at it! And he was going to hate the fuck out of himself in the morning after he'd calmed down, but right now he was straight up irrational and freaking the fuck out.
He saw that she wasn't going to grab for the ledger, so he lowered it, but kept it tucked in to his side so he could still fight her if she did grab at it. "I don't know if you noticed, Rayna, but the Cancellari are the Occia's guard-dogs, and Duchess Bharquite has the Occia in her pocket and the country in her fist, so when you say heretical shit out in public to a Cancellarius, you are basically slapping the duchess in the face, and you might not care if your head ends up where Rohaly's is, but I do."
"I know that. I know that," she kept saying over him. Every time the Hour struck at the Citadel, it was out of pure stupidity. Niran and Silas didn't deserve the treatment they'd gotten, not by half, but they'd reacted stupidly and gotten themselves into trouble. She knew what she was doing and more. It was a statement, not a mistake.
She strained to stand taller, to feel as tall as her husband. Deep down, she was happy he'd said that last bit, but was too angry and bull-headed to feel it now. "Then we've both proved how exceptionally selfish we are. I apologized, Duncan. I conceded." To that walking wealth of useless information. Well, half the Cancellarius' knowledge sounded useless, the other nonsensical. "And that's all I'm going to do."
"Yes, okay, good--" He paused long enough to flip open her ledger and glance at the conversation(s) in question before shutting it, holding it to his side again, and looking back to her. "Good. Holy shit, though, Rayna, don't do this again. Why did you even do it in the first place? I'm supposed to be the one who does dumbass shit that pisses everyone off, not you."
"Excuse me," she snapped when Duncan so casually opened her ledger. There wasn't anything she minded him reading, but he could have the decency to ask. Now Rayna did reach out to try to snatch it away. "Because I said something without thinking and the cancellarius argued with me and it made me think! Why are they allowed to publicly treat us like shit," her husband's word, not hers, "Or worse than and we just snicker at them in private?" She was still trying to take back her ledger and retain her dignity at the same time.
"It's embarrassing." What she'd done had been embarrassing, too, but in the opposite direction. "If the Citadel has the duchess, then we have the king. We'll Believe him a backbone!"
UGH FINE. He let her take the ledger back because he was reasonably satisfied that she wasn't going to crack it open and start insulting Cancellari again. And if she did after this, then it was her own damn fault if she got beheaded NO SYMPATHY all the sympathy
"The entire population of Balfour couldn't Believe the king a backbone," he said. And then speech-time, complete with Duncan talking too fast and talking with his hands. "And I know it's fucked up how they're allowed to treat us, but we're in a defensive position, Rayna. We need to look better than them because people like them more than us. They're scared of us. They're scared of the monsters we keep around and treat like friends and colleagues, and the Citadel, to them, is safety from that. It's a reassurance that Thea's not going to come in the night and eat their children. And until that changes, we can't do shit like insult the Citadel's ridiculous premise on the ledgers, because it will look like we don't give a damn about Tyrol's safety."
When Rayna managed to grab the book, she put it behind her on her desk, guarding it like she would have guarded one of her sons.
If Belief created dragons and naga, it could turn a coward into a brave man. But she kept her mouth shut, silently fuming. "And how do we change it? Thea will never stop eating children. We can't hope that suddenly everyone comes to terms with that. We are on the offensive, Duncan, because of everything you just said. The Citadel claims to be just, the Occia," Rayna half-laughed, "Claims to do her god's will. If we show how backward they are, we win. They can't spin what happens in this city half as well as we can. The duchess showed her hand when she said Rohaly killed Myron. The Citadel is desperate."
"Okay, but, Rayna, but," a very serious pause, looking her in the eyes, his hands held out as if he were presenting the argument to her physically, "none of that is going to change until the duchess is dead and buried."
and he was digging up her body for science
She let a steady pause go by. Then, she gave a small sigh and nodded. Perhaps no one was watching the house. Why would they? The Evandroses were loyal if nothing else. Still, Tyrolian politics unsettled her. "You're right."
Already, this was bordering on treason. If someone wanted to, they could accuse Duncan of conspiring against the duchess. Rayna forced a sad smile, held her husband's hands in hers and pulled up to plant a kiss on his cheek. As she did so, she whispered, "Then we find an Other to kill the duchess."
How many Others could? The better question was, how many Others couldn't? If they showed some meddle, if they were selfless enough, it would all be dealt with soon enough.
Okay. Okay, that was a step in the right directi--what?! He gave her a horrified look, and then a panicked glance around the room--he hadn't even shut the door! Oh Occia's tits wait that meant their fight had carried through the hall FUCK he pulled away from her and darted to the door, whipping it shut (but very very gently and carefully sliding it the last inch or so, so it would make absolutely no sound at all as the latch fell into place).
Then he fell back against the door, shoulders and hands flat against it like he was barring it, and looked to her. Long pause...
"Which one?"
Good call. Most everything could be explained away if they'd been overheard. Blaming his wife would make Duncan's last comment excusable. They might both be saved by playing stupid. They were nobles; who would doubt the stupidity of nobles? Still, Rayna crossed her arms when he went to close the door.
Again, she drew close, then whispered, "Who cares? Any that's willing to try. They all have reason to kill her."
He straightened, setting his hands on the curve of her waist. They were joking, right? This was their usual joking routine? He was kind of not okay with joking about this, even in private. Not because he didn't share the sentiment--because fuck did he share the sentiment--but he was irrationally paranoid of somebody overhearing and reporting them both for treason.
"I bet the crow would do it," he said, his voice matching hers for quietude. Nobody was going to hear this conversation but the two of them. Nobody. "He's dumb enough."
"The crow's an idiot," she kept whispering into her husband's ear, struggling to stay on her tiptoes. "No one that can turn into an animal. They get distracted." Rayna was usually too happy to joke with her husband, but this wasn't one such time. Her hands on his upper arms, she kept her eyes on Duncan's. "Ermesinda can do it from afar. She'd be willing, I'm sure."
He laughed uncomfortably, his eyes moving away from her face. "You're--you're serious, aren't you?"
His liiiiiiiife. He already had one close friend who was plotting the duchess's downfall as soon as Panda finally finished apping her, he didn't need his wife jumping on board too.
"It's an idea," she said evenly. Rayna settled and turned away, smoothing out the folds of her skirt. She wasn't ready to suggest anything to anyone but Duncan yet; after all, no one had said anything about her argument on the ledgers. Perhaps Godric was holding his tongue for a reason.
"Uhh, okay, yes, it is an idea. It is that." Don't panic again, Duncan, don't panic! He was totally panicking. "But it is going to stay an idea, right?" Don't tell her what to do, though, she'll get mad. Compromise: "For now, at least?"
"Yes," she said after a moment. Rayna turned to look at Duncan, her expression slightly troubled. She hadn't thought of the boys at all when she argued with the cancellarius. At least now she was considering their safety. Her mouth twitched to the side and she said, "I promise."
"Okay. Okay good." He wouldn't have to worry about any treason charges for a while at least, and wouldn't have to worry about Guards dragging him out of his burning house in the middle of the night just so they could force him to watch them murder his parents, siblings, wife, and children before killing him too.
NO HE WASN'T THINKING ABOUT THIS. He was just going to not think about it. Treason was not going on here, nothing to even think about. Nope.
He stepped forward, sliding his arms around Rayna's waist and pulling her close. 'When it stops being just an idea, I know someone you should talk to.' He thought of saying it. Leaning in to whisper it into her ear. He didn't. He only said, "I'm sorry I took your ledger." (He was more sorry he'd acted like a child in his panic, but he'd have to admit to that to apologize for it.)
Rayna took a deep breath and put a hand in her husband's hair. Even she didn't know how far she was willing to take this. But still, she tried to let it all go for the moment. The fight was over, there was no use in starting it up once more.
"Just don't do it again," she said, pulling Duncan down for a short kiss. "Time to check on the boys," Rayna whispered next. Mirza had undoubtedly slept through their fight, but Jon...
"Noted." And sealed with a kiss. (If the need for it ever came up again he'd just figure out a different way to prevent her from writing. And then apologize and promise to never do that again, either.)
He unwrapped his arms from her waist and stepped aside, pulling the door open and holding it for her. He followed her out, hoping neither of the boys had woken but knowing he was not that lucky.
When: After this.
Where: Duncan and Rayna's home.
Rating & Warnings: PG.
Duncan wasn't gonna lie. He was outright panicked. Rayna was talking heresies on the ledgers and antagonizing not one but two of the Occia's Cancellari, and even though he felt the same way about Cita's religion being a complete joke the rest of the city did not feel that way and she was going to get herself hanged.
He didn't think this through very well--or at all--but it was time for drastic measures! He slammed his own ledger shut and ran to her room, threw open the door, and snatched her ledger right off of her desk.
Rayna was already livid. Everyone knew about Ermesinda's- Ermesinda's whatever. It had nearly had its throat slit. Rohaly had been lynched and Niran had been driven out of the country for trying to take back his own ledger? Had everyone turned coward but her? It was great fun to worship Cita when they decked the city out in flowers and threw you parties and got you drunk, but day in and day out what was the Citadel but a bunch of bullies? Enough. The Citadel had been a part of her all her life and Rayna had finally decided enough.
She was scribbling furiously when Duncan burst into her study. Rayna pulled her pen-hand away and gaped up at her husband. What did he expect to do about this? When her ledger was taken from her, however, Rayna got to her feet. "Give it back," she demanded quietly as to not awaken their sons. "Give it back right now." He had no right to silence her.
"No." And then he remembered his sons were sleeping and repeated, quieter, "No." And he was going to do his VERY GODDAMN BEST to keep the ledger out of reach no matter how she grabbed for it.
Why would she swing her hands at him like a child? The ledger was her property. Getting to her feet, Rayna set her pen down, splattering ink all over her desk. She gritted her teeth and stared up at Duncan. Did he think this was a game to her? She fully accepted that she was being stupid. Hell, she knew that. But somebody had to say it. And, well, since her husband had unduly proved that he would never be brave enough to come out against the Citadel, he could raise their children if she got run out of the city, or worse.
They were all just patients to him, weren't they? Rayna didn't love him any less for thinking that. He was still her husband. But her opinions wouldn't change. "I said what I did because anyone else would have been tossed out the city gates by now." Left to be eaten by wolves or vampires in an ironic turn. "They have to listen to me for a short while. And when the Hour casts me off," which she was certain they would, "I'll do my research at home."
But how she'd hate herself if she didn't say anything. How did Duncan not hate himself?
Duncan was well-experienced in the art of hating himself, that was how! He was a muhfuggin pro at it! And he was going to hate the fuck out of himself in the morning after he'd calmed down, but right now he was straight up irrational and freaking the fuck out.
He saw that she wasn't going to grab for the ledger, so he lowered it, but kept it tucked in to his side so he could still fight her if she did grab at it. "I don't know if you noticed, Rayna, but the Cancellari are the Occia's guard-dogs, and Duchess Bharquite has the Occia in her pocket and the country in her fist, so when you say heretical shit out in public to a Cancellarius, you are basically slapping the duchess in the face, and you might not care if your head ends up where Rohaly's is, but I do."
"I know that. I know that," she kept saying over him. Every time the Hour struck at the Citadel, it was out of pure stupidity. Niran and Silas didn't deserve the treatment they'd gotten, not by half, but they'd reacted stupidly and gotten themselves into trouble. She knew what she was doing and more. It was a statement, not a mistake.
She strained to stand taller, to feel as tall as her husband. Deep down, she was happy he'd said that last bit, but was too angry and bull-headed to feel it now. "Then we've both proved how exceptionally selfish we are. I apologized, Duncan. I conceded." To that walking wealth of useless information. Well, half the Cancellarius' knowledge sounded useless, the other nonsensical. "And that's all I'm going to do."
"Yes, okay, good--" He paused long enough to flip open her ledger and glance at the conversation(s) in question before shutting it, holding it to his side again, and looking back to her. "Good. Holy shit, though, Rayna, don't do this again. Why did you even do it in the first place? I'm supposed to be the one who does dumbass shit that pisses everyone off, not you."
"Excuse me," she snapped when Duncan so casually opened her ledger. There wasn't anything she minded him reading, but he could have the decency to ask. Now Rayna did reach out to try to snatch it away. "Because I said something without thinking and the cancellarius argued with me and it made me think! Why are they allowed to publicly treat us like shit," her husband's word, not hers, "Or worse than and we just snicker at them in private?" She was still trying to take back her ledger and retain her dignity at the same time.
"It's embarrassing." What she'd done had been embarrassing, too, but in the opposite direction. "If the Citadel has the duchess, then we have the king. We'll Believe him a backbone!"
UGH FINE. He let her take the ledger back because he was reasonably satisfied that she wasn't going to crack it open and start insulting Cancellari again. And if she did after this, then it was her own damn fault if she got beheaded NO SYMPATHY all the sympathy
"The entire population of Balfour couldn't Believe the king a backbone," he said. And then speech-time, complete with Duncan talking too fast and talking with his hands. "And I know it's fucked up how they're allowed to treat us, but we're in a defensive position, Rayna. We need to look better than them because people like them more than us. They're scared of us. They're scared of the monsters we keep around and treat like friends and colleagues, and the Citadel, to them, is safety from that. It's a reassurance that Thea's not going to come in the night and eat their children. And until that changes, we can't do shit like insult the Citadel's ridiculous premise on the ledgers, because it will look like we don't give a damn about Tyrol's safety."
When Rayna managed to grab the book, she put it behind her on her desk, guarding it like she would have guarded one of her sons.
If Belief created dragons and naga, it could turn a coward into a brave man. But she kept her mouth shut, silently fuming. "And how do we change it? Thea will never stop eating children. We can't hope that suddenly everyone comes to terms with that. We are on the offensive, Duncan, because of everything you just said. The Citadel claims to be just, the Occia," Rayna half-laughed, "Claims to do her god's will. If we show how backward they are, we win. They can't spin what happens in this city half as well as we can. The duchess showed her hand when she said Rohaly killed Myron. The Citadel is desperate."
"Okay, but, Rayna, but," a very serious pause, looking her in the eyes, his hands held out as if he were presenting the argument to her physically, "none of that is going to change until the duchess is dead and buried."
and he was digging up her body for science
She let a steady pause go by. Then, she gave a small sigh and nodded. Perhaps no one was watching the house. Why would they? The Evandroses were loyal if nothing else. Still, Tyrolian politics unsettled her. "You're right."
Already, this was bordering on treason. If someone wanted to, they could accuse Duncan of conspiring against the duchess. Rayna forced a sad smile, held her husband's hands in hers and pulled up to plant a kiss on his cheek. As she did so, she whispered, "Then we find an Other to kill the duchess."
How many Others could? The better question was, how many Others couldn't? If they showed some meddle, if they were selfless enough, it would all be dealt with soon enough.
Okay. Okay, that was a step in the right directi--what?! He gave her a horrified look, and then a panicked glance around the room--he hadn't even shut the door! Oh Occia's tits wait that meant their fight had carried through the hall FUCK he pulled away from her and darted to the door, whipping it shut (but very very gently and carefully sliding it the last inch or so, so it would make absolutely no sound at all as the latch fell into place).
Then he fell back against the door, shoulders and hands flat against it like he was barring it, and looked to her. Long pause...
"Which one?"
Good call. Most everything could be explained away if they'd been overheard. Blaming his wife would make Duncan's last comment excusable. They might both be saved by playing stupid. They were nobles; who would doubt the stupidity of nobles? Still, Rayna crossed her arms when he went to close the door.
Again, she drew close, then whispered, "Who cares? Any that's willing to try. They all have reason to kill her."
He straightened, setting his hands on the curve of her waist. They were joking, right? This was their usual joking routine? He was kind of not okay with joking about this, even in private. Not because he didn't share the sentiment--because fuck did he share the sentiment--but he was irrationally paranoid of somebody overhearing and reporting them both for treason.
"I bet the crow would do it," he said, his voice matching hers for quietude. Nobody was going to hear this conversation but the two of them. Nobody. "He's dumb enough."
"The crow's an idiot," she kept whispering into her husband's ear, struggling to stay on her tiptoes. "No one that can turn into an animal. They get distracted." Rayna was usually too happy to joke with her husband, but this wasn't one such time. Her hands on his upper arms, she kept her eyes on Duncan's. "Ermesinda can do it from afar. She'd be willing, I'm sure."
He laughed uncomfortably, his eyes moving away from her face. "You're--you're serious, aren't you?"
His liiiiiiiife. He already had one close friend who was plotting the duchess's downfall as soon as Panda finally finished apping her, he didn't need his wife jumping on board too.
"It's an idea," she said evenly. Rayna settled and turned away, smoothing out the folds of her skirt. She wasn't ready to suggest anything to anyone but Duncan yet; after all, no one had said anything about her argument on the ledgers. Perhaps Godric was holding his tongue for a reason.
"Uhh, okay, yes, it is an idea. It is that." Don't panic again, Duncan, don't panic! He was totally panicking. "But it is going to stay an idea, right?" Don't tell her what to do, though, she'll get mad. Compromise: "For now, at least?"
"Yes," she said after a moment. Rayna turned to look at Duncan, her expression slightly troubled. She hadn't thought of the boys at all when she argued with the cancellarius. At least now she was considering their safety. Her mouth twitched to the side and she said, "I promise."
"Okay. Okay good." He wouldn't have to worry about any treason charges for a while at least, and wouldn't have to worry about Guards dragging him out of his burning house in the middle of the night just so they could force him to watch them murder his parents, siblings, wife, and children before killing him too.
NO HE WASN'T THINKING ABOUT THIS. He was just going to not think about it. Treason was not going on here, nothing to even think about. Nope.
He stepped forward, sliding his arms around Rayna's waist and pulling her close. 'When it stops being just an idea, I know someone you should talk to.' He thought of saying it. Leaning in to whisper it into her ear. He didn't. He only said, "I'm sorry I took your ledger." (He was more sorry he'd acted like a child in his panic, but he'd have to admit to that to apologize for it.)
Rayna took a deep breath and put a hand in her husband's hair. Even she didn't know how far she was willing to take this. But still, she tried to let it all go for the moment. The fight was over, there was no use in starting it up once more.
"Just don't do it again," she said, pulling Duncan down for a short kiss. "Time to check on the boys," Rayna whispered next. Mirza had undoubtedly slept through their fight, but Jon...
"Noted." And sealed with a kiss. (If the need for it ever came up again he'd just figure out a different way to prevent her from writing. And then apologize and promise to never do that again, either.)
He unwrapped his arms from her waist and stepped aside, pulling the door open and holding it for her. He followed her out, hoping neither of the boys had woken but knowing he was not that lucky.