evie + allen // cray²
Who: Evie & Allen
When: Yesterday
Where: The Nave
Rating & Warnings: G
So much change and upheaval had happened so quickly since Cita had come that Evie didn't know how to deal with it or think about it. She was awed and amazed that He was here, but going from seven to three back up to seven Cancellari was bewildering. That Saeko would do such a thing... that Avith and Mike were not as faithful as she always thought... it was difficult to think about, difficult to try and understand when she had looked up and respected all of them so much for being Cancellari. Having Cita reveal that was a good thing, but it made her doubt her other brothers and sisters a little, and that thought made her feel guilty.
She sat in the nave, praying for peace of mind and for forgiveness. The doubt of a few didn't mean there was doubt in all--even if they were Cancellari. A thought occurred that she could go to Cita directly, but she knew He had much more important things to do and she would hate to disturb Him.
If there were any more untrue to the Citadel, she was sure Cita would have ousted them already.
The last few days had left Allen worse for wear. The poisonings, the attempt on his sister's life, the appointment of the new Cancellari... The hollows under his eyes were deeper than ever. He couldn't recall the last time he'd slept for more than a few hours. His steps were slow and heavy through the nave, and they came to a stop when he saw Evie deep in prayer. A devoted Initiate, and she looked troubled now. Perhaps, Allen thought, if he concentrated on aiding her troubles, it would take his mind off his own...
"Sister Isley," he said quietly, worried he might disturb her prayer. He hesitated, then said, "You look troubled, sister. Do you wish to talk?"
Her eyes flew open, and she jumped a little in her seat. She hadn't expected to be called by anyone that soon. "Brother Burrell?"
He didn't look well, she noticed, especially when she remembered so many initiates proclaiming how much saner healthier he looked just last week. Her brows furrowed in concern, and she bit her lip. "Everything that's happened lately... it's been a lot. I, um, I worry about what might happen next." She hesitated before asking, "Are you okay, brother?"
He frowned at the question being turned back on him; he had no wish to speak of his own condition. Instead Allen took a seat beside Evie, maintaining a generous distance between them as he folded his hands and looked to her. It wasn't often that he tried to counsel anyone other than his sister; other priests, like Brother William (though he was no longer a priest, Allen reminded himself), were better suited to such tasks. Very few who knew him and his frailty wanted to trust him with their problems.
All the same, he had to try. Doubt had festered in too many Civitates. If he could erase some of that, if he could strengthen their belief in their God, he could ignore his fate for a little while longer. "I am fine, sister," he said gently. "What worries you? I am here to listen."
Evie smiled slightly. She honestly couldn't see what half the Citadel had said about Brother Burrell. Here he was, showing concern and kindness like the good priest he was.
"I know everything our Father has done is right." That she didn't doubt. That she didn't have trouble with. "But.." She plucked at her sleeve, wondering if it was really okay to say these things aloud. "Cancellari... the former cancellari. I don't understand how. Or why they did what they did. Or said what they did. They were Cancellari." Her eyes were pleading, asking Allen if he understood what she meant.
Allen's forehead knit in sympathy. Shayna and Rempel would never listen to him, but he wondered if they'd regret their actions after seeing such distress in Sister Isley. She was a kind girl, a faithful girl. She didn't deserve to have her trust so brutally broken.
"Shayna wrote what she did out of shame and anger, sister," he explained quietly. "Cita looked into her heart and found her faith lacking. She would try to hide her own failing by blaming Him. Rempel..." Allen trailed off for a moment, frowning. Shayna's dismissal had not surprised him; her most notable action of late had been running through the Citadel in her smallclothes. If any of the Cancellari had deserved removal, it'd been her. But Rempel... "I do not know what planted doubt in him, sister, but I suspect it was Sister Isvelle." She had always seemed a gentle, quiet woman to Allen, but she had hidden what she was from the Citadel, had lied her way into His house. Perhaps she had said something to Rempel, something wicked, something to make him falter...
"Suzuki I do not know." His voice grew tighter, and Allen looked down at his hands, clasped together in his lap. They grew white-knuckled as he spoke; Suzuki had tried to murder his sister. "I do not know what prompted her to act as she did. She was never Cita's daughter."
"Sister Shayna should have accepted what Lord Cita decided," she said softly. "If He isn't right, who is?" There was no other way to think in Evie's mind.
"Sister Isvelle?" Her head bobbed up in surprise at her name before her expression darkened. Cancellarius Tansel had said Isvelle had used tricks and would've been devious. Was it because of her that they lost one of their Cancellari? "I see. She would have." She nodded. "She would have." Evie had been so, so wrong to put so much faith in her. It hurt, but she would embrace it like she was told to. She would twist this blackness into light within her.
"No... I guess Si-- Suzuki was not. That she would do such a thing in Cita's house..." Her voice faltered. While she never knew what to think of Suzuki, and as foreign and aloof as she seemed, the initiate would have never expected her to try to kill anyone. How wrong she was. "The Lady Occia is-- Is she doing all right?"
Alright. Was she? Allen's uncertainty made his voice falter. "I- I do not know, sister. She has many things on her mind of late." Her Guardians had left her and now... Allen didn't doubt the loyalty of the remaning three, or William's, but the new three Cita had chosen made him anxious. He should not doubt his God's judgement, but to see them lingering around his sister's rooms made Allen uneasy. Add to that his own miserable failing... He'd not yet gotten up the courage to ask Cita to heal him a second time. It would be wasted.
He wrung his hands in his lap, then forced himself to look up and meet the Initiate's stare. "Trust in Him, Sister Isley," he said quietly, forcing a small smile. "These dark times are meant to test our faith. Do not falter as Shayna and Rempel did, and you will make Him proud."
Evie immediately looked more concerned when Allen's voice faltered, but, no, she realized that of course the Occia wouldn't be fine with everything, that she would be busy and have to think about how to run the Citadel with Cita and the rest of the Cancellari.
"I will. I do," she said. "I have all the faith in Him. I-I... just. I just thought maybe if... if Shayna and Rempel could doubt like that, what of other brothers and sisters?" She hunched her shoulders, looking and sounding ashamed to confess her doubts. "But... but I know if there were others, Cita would also know... and just because a few have lost their way, that doesn't mean others have, too... right?" Her voice was small but hopeful.
Allen shook his head. "Cita has looked into our souls, sister. Those who remain are faithful." He wondered if he was reassuring her at all; he had little idea of what would comfort anyone outside his sister. Even Moirine's moods were sometimes a mystery to him, and he knew next to nothing about Eveline despite having seen her day in and out for near five years. All he knew was what he could see: she was timid, faithful, worried. If he was a more physical person he might have touched her hand, or her shoulder, but he did nothing, only frowned down at his hands.
Would Cita consider him lost? A faithful son would not kiss his Lord's bride. Would not wish to do it again. He would deserve to be sent away. His madness was only part of it. "You do your brothers and sisters a disservice, doubting them all," Allen said quietly. "Believe in them. If they have sinned, Cita will know. Cita will judge them accordingly. Do not trouble yourself in His stead."
Evie nodded, letting his words bolster her. "You're right." His words made sense. There was no reason for her to doubt the others; Cita would definitely know. Hearing Allen say it, too, lifted a weight off her shoulders. She smiled, grateful. "Thank you, Brother Burrell. You are kind. I will take your words to heart."
She looked up at the windows to see how the sun filtered in. How long had she been there? "Have you eaten yet, brother?"
Kind. That brought a brief smile to his lips. Few people called him that. A priest who is always angry. That's what Rempel had said of him. Allen looked up again at her question, staring in incomprehension for a moment before he considered his answer. Had he?
"No," he replied with a frown. "I- an apple, this morning." Or had that been last night?
Evie blinked. Did Brother Burrell forget if he had eaten? Was that possible? She didn't think it was...
"Do you want something to eat?" She was becoming more and more hungry, now that Allen had assuaged some of her worries. "I'll be happy to get something for you." Evie wouldn't presume that the priest would go with her as he might have other things to do, and she could fetch food and find him easily enough. He also looked like he needed some rest, and she wanted to help him.
He shook his head with a weak smile. "No, thank you, sister. I am not your concern." A pause, and Allen looked at her fully. She seemed to have cheered. Had it really worked? If only it would be so easy with his sister. She smiled for him and nodded her agreement, her acquiescence, but he knew when she lowered her eyes that it meant she was not truly satisfied. One day, Allen thought, he would make her happy... but he had so few left.
He unlaced his hands in his lap, then laced them again before he said, "I am glad we spoke. He will see your devotion, Sister Isley, I am sure of it."
She ducked her head and stood, smiling shyly. "If you're sure... I just want to help you like you've helped me. Thank you, brother."
Evie still couldn't see why so many said there was something wrong with Brother Burrell. He was a good person, a good Civitas, a good priest.
When: Yesterday
Where: The Nave
Rating & Warnings: G
So much change and upheaval had happened so quickly since Cita had come that Evie didn't know how to deal with it or think about it. She was awed and amazed that He was here, but going from seven to three back up to seven Cancellari was bewildering. That Saeko would do such a thing... that Avith and Mike were not as faithful as she always thought... it was difficult to think about, difficult to try and understand when she had looked up and respected all of them so much for being Cancellari. Having Cita reveal that was a good thing, but it made her doubt her other brothers and sisters a little, and that thought made her feel guilty.
She sat in the nave, praying for peace of mind and for forgiveness. The doubt of a few didn't mean there was doubt in all--even if they were Cancellari. A thought occurred that she could go to Cita directly, but she knew He had much more important things to do and she would hate to disturb Him.
If there were any more untrue to the Citadel, she was sure Cita would have ousted them already.
The last few days had left Allen worse for wear. The poisonings, the attempt on his sister's life, the appointment of the new Cancellari... The hollows under his eyes were deeper than ever. He couldn't recall the last time he'd slept for more than a few hours. His steps were slow and heavy through the nave, and they came to a stop when he saw Evie deep in prayer. A devoted Initiate, and she looked troubled now. Perhaps, Allen thought, if he concentrated on aiding her troubles, it would take his mind off his own...
"Sister Isley," he said quietly, worried he might disturb her prayer. He hesitated, then said, "You look troubled, sister. Do you wish to talk?"
Her eyes flew open, and she jumped a little in her seat. She hadn't expected to be called by anyone that soon. "Brother Burrell?"
He didn't look well, she noticed, especially when she remembered so many initiates proclaiming how much saner healthier he looked just last week. Her brows furrowed in concern, and she bit her lip. "Everything that's happened lately... it's been a lot. I, um, I worry about what might happen next." She hesitated before asking, "Are you okay, brother?"
He frowned at the question being turned back on him; he had no wish to speak of his own condition. Instead Allen took a seat beside Evie, maintaining a generous distance between them as he folded his hands and looked to her. It wasn't often that he tried to counsel anyone other than his sister; other priests, like Brother William (though he was no longer a priest, Allen reminded himself), were better suited to such tasks. Very few who knew him and his frailty wanted to trust him with their problems.
All the same, he had to try. Doubt had festered in too many Civitates. If he could erase some of that, if he could strengthen their belief in their God, he could ignore his fate for a little while longer. "I am fine, sister," he said gently. "What worries you? I am here to listen."
Evie smiled slightly. She honestly couldn't see what half the Citadel had said about Brother Burrell. Here he was, showing concern and kindness like the good priest he was.
"I know everything our Father has done is right." That she didn't doubt. That she didn't have trouble with. "But.." She plucked at her sleeve, wondering if it was really okay to say these things aloud. "Cancellari... the former cancellari. I don't understand how. Or why they did what they did. Or said what they did. They were Cancellari." Her eyes were pleading, asking Allen if he understood what she meant.
Allen's forehead knit in sympathy. Shayna and Rempel would never listen to him, but he wondered if they'd regret their actions after seeing such distress in Sister Isley. She was a kind girl, a faithful girl. She didn't deserve to have her trust so brutally broken.
"Shayna wrote what she did out of shame and anger, sister," he explained quietly. "Cita looked into her heart and found her faith lacking. She would try to hide her own failing by blaming Him. Rempel..." Allen trailed off for a moment, frowning. Shayna's dismissal had not surprised him; her most notable action of late had been running through the Citadel in her smallclothes. If any of the Cancellari had deserved removal, it'd been her. But Rempel... "I do not know what planted doubt in him, sister, but I suspect it was Sister Isvelle." She had always seemed a gentle, quiet woman to Allen, but she had hidden what she was from the Citadel, had lied her way into His house. Perhaps she had said something to Rempel, something wicked, something to make him falter...
"Suzuki I do not know." His voice grew tighter, and Allen looked down at his hands, clasped together in his lap. They grew white-knuckled as he spoke; Suzuki had tried to murder his sister. "I do not know what prompted her to act as she did. She was never Cita's daughter."
"Sister Shayna should have accepted what Lord Cita decided," she said softly. "If He isn't right, who is?" There was no other way to think in Evie's mind.
"Sister Isvelle?" Her head bobbed up in surprise at her name before her expression darkened. Cancellarius Tansel had said Isvelle had used tricks and would've been devious. Was it because of her that they lost one of their Cancellari? "I see. She would have." She nodded. "She would have." Evie had been so, so wrong to put so much faith in her. It hurt, but she would embrace it like she was told to. She would twist this blackness into light within her.
"No... I guess Si-- Suzuki was not. That she would do such a thing in Cita's house..." Her voice faltered. While she never knew what to think of Suzuki, and as foreign and aloof as she seemed, the initiate would have never expected her to try to kill anyone. How wrong she was. "The Lady Occia is-- Is she doing all right?"
Alright. Was she? Allen's uncertainty made his voice falter. "I- I do not know, sister. She has many things on her mind of late." Her Guardians had left her and now... Allen didn't doubt the loyalty of the remaning three, or William's, but the new three Cita had chosen made him anxious. He should not doubt his God's judgement, but to see them lingering around his sister's rooms made Allen uneasy. Add to that his own miserable failing... He'd not yet gotten up the courage to ask Cita to heal him a second time. It would be wasted.
He wrung his hands in his lap, then forced himself to look up and meet the Initiate's stare. "Trust in Him, Sister Isley," he said quietly, forcing a small smile. "These dark times are meant to test our faith. Do not falter as Shayna and Rempel did, and you will make Him proud."
Evie immediately looked more concerned when Allen's voice faltered, but, no, she realized that of course the Occia wouldn't be fine with everything, that she would be busy and have to think about how to run the Citadel with Cita and the rest of the Cancellari.
"I will. I do," she said. "I have all the faith in Him. I-I... just. I just thought maybe if... if Shayna and Rempel could doubt like that, what of other brothers and sisters?" She hunched her shoulders, looking and sounding ashamed to confess her doubts. "But... but I know if there were others, Cita would also know... and just because a few have lost their way, that doesn't mean others have, too... right?" Her voice was small but hopeful.
Allen shook his head. "Cita has looked into our souls, sister. Those who remain are faithful." He wondered if he was reassuring her at all; he had little idea of what would comfort anyone outside his sister. Even Moirine's moods were sometimes a mystery to him, and he knew next to nothing about Eveline despite having seen her day in and out for near five years. All he knew was what he could see: she was timid, faithful, worried. If he was a more physical person he might have touched her hand, or her shoulder, but he did nothing, only frowned down at his hands.
Would Cita consider him lost? A faithful son would not kiss his Lord's bride. Would not wish to do it again. He would deserve to be sent away. His madness was only part of it. "You do your brothers and sisters a disservice, doubting them all," Allen said quietly. "Believe in them. If they have sinned, Cita will know. Cita will judge them accordingly. Do not trouble yourself in His stead."
Evie nodded, letting his words bolster her. "You're right." His words made sense. There was no reason for her to doubt the others; Cita would definitely know. Hearing Allen say it, too, lifted a weight off her shoulders. She smiled, grateful. "Thank you, Brother Burrell. You are kind. I will take your words to heart."
She looked up at the windows to see how the sun filtered in. How long had she been there? "Have you eaten yet, brother?"
Kind. That brought a brief smile to his lips. Few people called him that. A priest who is always angry. That's what Rempel had said of him. Allen looked up again at her question, staring in incomprehension for a moment before he considered his answer. Had he?
"No," he replied with a frown. "I- an apple, this morning." Or had that been last night?
Evie blinked. Did Brother Burrell forget if he had eaten? Was that possible? She didn't think it was...
"Do you want something to eat?" She was becoming more and more hungry, now that Allen had assuaged some of her worries. "I'll be happy to get something for you." Evie wouldn't presume that the priest would go with her as he might have other things to do, and she could fetch food and find him easily enough. He also looked like he needed some rest, and she wanted to help him.
He shook his head with a weak smile. "No, thank you, sister. I am not your concern." A pause, and Allen looked at her fully. She seemed to have cheered. Had it really worked? If only it would be so easy with his sister. She smiled for him and nodded her agreement, her acquiescence, but he knew when she lowered her eyes that it meant she was not truly satisfied. One day, Allen thought, he would make her happy... but he had so few left.
He unlaced his hands in his lap, then laced them again before he said, "I am glad we spoke. He will see your devotion, Sister Isley, I am sure of it."
She ducked her head and stood, smiling shyly. "If you're sure... I just want to help you like you've helped me. Thank you, brother."
Evie still couldn't see why so many said there was something wrong with Brother Burrell. He was a good person, a good Civitas, a good priest.