perpetration of an act with dubious merit

[goldenhog]

a cool fruit salad was tossed, assembled by muddled men attempting to recreate their childhoods, but they had reached the end of that enterprise. what a surprise to them, to find that the dove of peace was in fact a hen! "hey," i said, "why are you doing this? do you have the will to resist?" there was a period of silence following the inquiry, and i considered issuing an apology, but my conscience got the best of me, i was rolling in the aisle, i was beside myself with a wry smile, eating rye crisps, discovering new magic tricks to confuse the rubes and the passersby, i felt like i was on top of the world, aspiring to be a mountain climber or a hang glider, a simple minded writer, a wholly unique crocodile in the quagmire. an elastic band was around my head, and i said several words that were heard by my ears. the sound of my voice brought me to tears. i was nearing the end of my term in office, but my flaws were honest, i felt flawless, i never flossed, but my teeth were polished. i admonished all the naysayers and the people that pepper sprayed me with hate, i ate a large sized personal pan pizza, i felt like an ageless adolescent in green tights, i was skipping around to my heart's delight and frightening all the moviegoers, i was entranced by my own reflection in the windows, so i grabbed a hold of a pillow and squeezed it, pretending it was me, but it didn't make me feel any better, it just made me angrier and more anxious, i spanked the bedding and clenched my fists, i was getting really serious. a golden moment in a hedge maze. worthwhile endeavors for fun and pay. gorgeous views from my front window, and sour smells from edible minerals. root extract, peppermint corkscrew appetite snack. snapping elegance, wintry melted belt beaten sweethearts sneak into convenience stores, able bodied snickering youngsters play in dumpsters, leave it to a furry animal to furiously nibble on any inanimate object around. you can cry all you want and carry your resume around. i can be all that i can be, i can be an army of one, i can be an army of none, an army of fun, an alarming swarm of puns. a bulging mattress, a stained and offensive vest, a household pest, a poorly lit decorative set, an actor squinting into a camera.

there's nothing to fear but tears and hell. a personal man made corporeal hell, but a punishment fit for a mean spirited species nonetheless. i often imagine desolate landscapes without any people around, consider that an insight into the well being of a desperate maniac. imagination is a lie, it is nonexistent until a conscious decision is made, but the process itself is what makes me afraid. i'm afraid i fried my brain, there's no reason to complain, i don't have any right to, i need the right tool for the right job at the time of day when i need to be on the nod. time to go, see you through the hole.