Events of the past weekend...
For those of you who still do not know the news this was written on Wednesday:
What a difference a weekend does make. It only takes a few words to really change one’s life. And the events of this weekend were wholly unexpected. I shall start from the beginning. Andy was to come over as we were planning on going to York with Amy and Heather. He arrived on Friday and we spent some time chatting about his relationship with Amy and mine with Mendel. We watched Firefly and went into Pizza Express for dessert. Overall it was a rather good day. I didn’t get my 500 words done and this is of course bad, but given the next set of circumstances it is unsurprising.
The next morning, we woke up around 9 and Andy told me he had spent the night thinking. He was unsure if things would work out with Amy and said that everyone was right, that it was I he should be with. I was rather shocked. I certainly wasn’t expecting this. So I asked him if he was sure that he really wanted to have a relationship with me and that he was doing this of his own accord and not for anyone else. He said he was. So I thought about it. Mendel is an amazing and wonderful man and I do love him, he makes me laugh, and makes me happy. Over these three years I have gotten to see so much of him and his family and I love them as well. However, I am not dating his family, I am dating Mendel. The main problem is that I have been growing apart from him. This year in England has changed me. I think I have grown up a bit more, lost a bit of weight, made some wonderful friends, and have also become depressed. Would I have been able to survive the three years of a PhD apart from him? I don’t know. Would I be able to live the rest of my life with him? Again I don’t know. We have been growing apart, not just this last year, but even a bit before we left the states I was wondering what the future will hold. So, I made a decision. I decided to date Andy. It’s a risk really, going from a three year relationship into the unknown. But it feels like the right decision.
Andy called Amy and talked to her about his feelings and fortunately they both agreed that they felt the same way. They decided to just be friends. We both decided then to cancel on the York trip. We felt bad about doing it, but we needed to talk and spend some time together. We ended up spending the rest of the day talking and it was a very pleasant day. I needed to tell Mendel of my decision but did not get around to doing so until Tuesday evening. I felt bad about that, as I do not want to lie to him, but I felt the best way to do so would be over the mobile so that we could talk without having a bad connection. So over the weekend, I went to Andy’s parents’ place and we broke the news to them and to my parents. My parents did not seem pleased but Andy’s parents were very happy for is.
So as things go, it has been a rather emotional weekend. I split up with Mendel, and I have an equally as wonderful new boyfriend, Andy. I am pleased with how well Mendel took the news. He said he suspected this would happen; we still are very close and will remain friends. So for now, I am once again out of the familiar and into the unknown. I suspect things will work out, but only time will tell after all. So yeah, the dissertation has taken to the back burner for a few days so that I could sort everything out. I hope I can catch up with the work that I have been neglecting over the next few weeks.
Written today:
Andy and I went shopping yesterday since I seem to be spending the week with him and his family. We found an amazing black dress shirt that fits perfectly for £10 and I got some new t-shirts from M&S. I also got some new socks and knickers. I have dropped another size apparently. I am now a 20 for jeans, and an 18 or 20 for shirts and jackets. It’s a great feeling really. I also seem to still be losing weight. Andy and I are supposed to work on getting fit together, and I have hopes that someday in a few years I may even be as thin as him. Ah well. I would settle for losing more of my stomach at the moment. Oh yes, I finally got proper fitting bras. It’s quite a difference that it makes, I have much more support and that is rather nice. When we got back I showed Teresa, Andy’s mum, what we had found. We discovered that we are actually roughly the same size and so she went about giving me some of her clothes. I made some other interesting discoveries. For example, I can finally wear skirts without worrying that they will gap or look bad. In fact they look very good. So I have some new skirts. I am actually starting to feel a bit more confident now. Ah well, I will probably have to buy more new clothes in a few months again. Andy wants both of us to look amazing at our graduation and he is rather fashion conscious, as a matter of fact he really enjoys shopping with me. Perhaps I can bring him along when Briana and I go shopping. We shall see. In the meantime I need to get back to work. I have a meeting with Michael tomorrow, Friday and I want to show that I have done some work.
What a difference a weekend does make. It only takes a few words to really change one’s life. And the events of this weekend were wholly unexpected. I shall start from the beginning. Andy was to come over as we were planning on going to York with Amy and Heather. He arrived on Friday and we spent some time chatting about his relationship with Amy and mine with Mendel. We watched Firefly and went into Pizza Express for dessert. Overall it was a rather good day. I didn’t get my 500 words done and this is of course bad, but given the next set of circumstances it is unsurprising.
The next morning, we woke up around 9 and Andy told me he had spent the night thinking. He was unsure if things would work out with Amy and said that everyone was right, that it was I he should be with. I was rather shocked. I certainly wasn’t expecting this. So I asked him if he was sure that he really wanted to have a relationship with me and that he was doing this of his own accord and not for anyone else. He said he was. So I thought about it. Mendel is an amazing and wonderful man and I do love him, he makes me laugh, and makes me happy. Over these three years I have gotten to see so much of him and his family and I love them as well. However, I am not dating his family, I am dating Mendel. The main problem is that I have been growing apart from him. This year in England has changed me. I think I have grown up a bit more, lost a bit of weight, made some wonderful friends, and have also become depressed. Would I have been able to survive the three years of a PhD apart from him? I don’t know. Would I be able to live the rest of my life with him? Again I don’t know. We have been growing apart, not just this last year, but even a bit before we left the states I was wondering what the future will hold. So, I made a decision. I decided to date Andy. It’s a risk really, going from a three year relationship into the unknown. But it feels like the right decision.
Andy called Amy and talked to her about his feelings and fortunately they both agreed that they felt the same way. They decided to just be friends. We both decided then to cancel on the York trip. We felt bad about doing it, but we needed to talk and spend some time together. We ended up spending the rest of the day talking and it was a very pleasant day. I needed to tell Mendel of my decision but did not get around to doing so until Tuesday evening. I felt bad about that, as I do not want to lie to him, but I felt the best way to do so would be over the mobile so that we could talk without having a bad connection. So over the weekend, I went to Andy’s parents’ place and we broke the news to them and to my parents. My parents did not seem pleased but Andy’s parents were very happy for is.
So as things go, it has been a rather emotional weekend. I split up with Mendel, and I have an equally as wonderful new boyfriend, Andy. I am pleased with how well Mendel took the news. He said he suspected this would happen; we still are very close and will remain friends. So for now, I am once again out of the familiar and into the unknown. I suspect things will work out, but only time will tell after all. So yeah, the dissertation has taken to the back burner for a few days so that I could sort everything out. I hope I can catch up with the work that I have been neglecting over the next few weeks.
Written today:
Andy and I went shopping yesterday since I seem to be spending the week with him and his family. We found an amazing black dress shirt that fits perfectly for £10 and I got some new t-shirts from M&S. I also got some new socks and knickers. I have dropped another size apparently. I am now a 20 for jeans, and an 18 or 20 for shirts and jackets. It’s a great feeling really. I also seem to still be losing weight. Andy and I are supposed to work on getting fit together, and I have hopes that someday in a few years I may even be as thin as him. Ah well. I would settle for losing more of my stomach at the moment. Oh yes, I finally got proper fitting bras. It’s quite a difference that it makes, I have much more support and that is rather nice. When we got back I showed Teresa, Andy’s mum, what we had found. We discovered that we are actually roughly the same size and so she went about giving me some of her clothes. I made some other interesting discoveries. For example, I can finally wear skirts without worrying that they will gap or look bad. In fact they look very good. So I have some new skirts. I am actually starting to feel a bit more confident now. Ah well, I will probably have to buy more new clothes in a few months again. Andy wants both of us to look amazing at our graduation and he is rather fashion conscious, as a matter of fact he really enjoys shopping with me. Perhaps I can bring him along when Briana and I go shopping. We shall see. In the meantime I need to get back to work. I have a meeting with Michael tomorrow, Friday and I want to show that I have done some work.