sweet talkers
I wrote a mini-essay type thing today just for fun. it's about sweet talkers and it's
Sweet Talkers:
I’m sitting on my bed wrapped up cozy in my favorite blanket, eating m&m’s, and spilling my heart out of my fingertips onto a blank page so that I will not spill it from my mouth later tonight in an emotional drunken frenzy. This is becoming something of a Friday afternoon ritual for me. Maybe it’s the Smiths down on life lyrics serenading me from my computer’s speakers or maybe it’s the events of the last week, but today something has brought to mind all of the users and abusers I’ve encountered in my life.
My least favorite kind are the sweet talkers. Over the years I have found myself to be a magnet for them. And old men, but that’s an entirely different subject. Sweet talkers are the issue of the day. We’ve all known a sweet talker or two. He’ll come off as the most charming person you’ve ever met. Getting inside your head is instinct for a sweet talker. They can smell insecurity from a mile away and will zero in on it as their point of entry for getting under your skin. It doesn’t matter how confident and secure a girl is, any sweet talker worth his salt will be able to find a way to work her over with manipulative sweet nothings and empty gestures of kindness.
At first it seems like your sweet talker is doing all the giving in the relationship. They call you, they compliment you, they want to see you all the time, they send you sweet text messages, swear that if anyone hurt you they’d kill them, and proclaim their love and loyalty loudly and with well faked sincerity. Don’t be fooled! Everything they have done to this point has been out of self-interest, not love and adoration. They are selling themselves to you, and the currency they are after in exchange is your love.
Once they’ve “earned” your love, the giving slowly fades away. Suddenly everything does a dramatic flip flop and you find yourself taking care of your sweet talker, rather than the other way around. Of course the sweet nothings and empty gestures of love continue to come, but less and less frequently over time. More often than not the gestures of adoration are going from you to your sweet talker, and only ever so rarely in the other direction. You think maybe if you can love him more, he’ll start treating you like he did in the beginning. Not a chance. Eventually you begin to feel as though you’re being sucked dry. Your sweet talker has turned from a handsome loving boy into a bloodthirsty vampire, sucking the life right out of you.
A friend once told me a nice theory on giving. She said that everyone gives to the extent that they are able to. When you are not feeling loved enough by someone, it’s not because they don’t love you deeply, but rather because they’ve reached their maximum capacity for loving you. They aren’t choosing to give you less than they can, they’ve simply run out of love to give.
This would be a great theory if it didn’t negate the sweet talkers of the world, the men who come into our lives with the express purpose of taking all that we are willing to give, and giving us nothing but pretty little lies in exchange. While the rest of us have a metaphorical well of love stored inside each of us, I find that sweet talkers have a vacuum. They have no capacity for giving, only the ability to continue taking and taking until you’re completely worn down. No matter what you pour into them they will continue to need more.
If I've learned anything in life it is that you cannot trust sweet talkers. While everything they say sounds amazing and is exactly what you want to hear, it's not the truth. Sweet talkers don't tell you anything that is true about yourself, and they never tell you anything they truly believe themselves. They tell you only what you want to hear in a manipulative, sneaky attempt to win you over so that you can start giving to them. The only thing you can trust about a sweet talker is that they are only interested in stealing your love and leaving you lonely and empty handed when it runs out.
Sweet Talkers:
I’m sitting on my bed wrapped up cozy in my favorite blanket, eating m&m’s, and spilling my heart out of my fingertips onto a blank page so that I will not spill it from my mouth later tonight in an emotional drunken frenzy. This is becoming something of a Friday afternoon ritual for me. Maybe it’s the Smiths down on life lyrics serenading me from my computer’s speakers or maybe it’s the events of the last week, but today something has brought to mind all of the users and abusers I’ve encountered in my life.
My least favorite kind are the sweet talkers. Over the years I have found myself to be a magnet for them. And old men, but that’s an entirely different subject. Sweet talkers are the issue of the day. We’ve all known a sweet talker or two. He’ll come off as the most charming person you’ve ever met. Getting inside your head is instinct for a sweet talker. They can smell insecurity from a mile away and will zero in on it as their point of entry for getting under your skin. It doesn’t matter how confident and secure a girl is, any sweet talker worth his salt will be able to find a way to work her over with manipulative sweet nothings and empty gestures of kindness.
At first it seems like your sweet talker is doing all the giving in the relationship. They call you, they compliment you, they want to see you all the time, they send you sweet text messages, swear that if anyone hurt you they’d kill them, and proclaim their love and loyalty loudly and with well faked sincerity. Don’t be fooled! Everything they have done to this point has been out of self-interest, not love and adoration. They are selling themselves to you, and the currency they are after in exchange is your love.
Once they’ve “earned” your love, the giving slowly fades away. Suddenly everything does a dramatic flip flop and you find yourself taking care of your sweet talker, rather than the other way around. Of course the sweet nothings and empty gestures of love continue to come, but less and less frequently over time. More often than not the gestures of adoration are going from you to your sweet talker, and only ever so rarely in the other direction. You think maybe if you can love him more, he’ll start treating you like he did in the beginning. Not a chance. Eventually you begin to feel as though you’re being sucked dry. Your sweet talker has turned from a handsome loving boy into a bloodthirsty vampire, sucking the life right out of you.
A friend once told me a nice theory on giving. She said that everyone gives to the extent that they are able to. When you are not feeling loved enough by someone, it’s not because they don’t love you deeply, but rather because they’ve reached their maximum capacity for loving you. They aren’t choosing to give you less than they can, they’ve simply run out of love to give.
This would be a great theory if it didn’t negate the sweet talkers of the world, the men who come into our lives with the express purpose of taking all that we are willing to give, and giving us nothing but pretty little lies in exchange. While the rest of us have a metaphorical well of love stored inside each of us, I find that sweet talkers have a vacuum. They have no capacity for giving, only the ability to continue taking and taking until you’re completely worn down. No matter what you pour into them they will continue to need more.
If I've learned anything in life it is that you cannot trust sweet talkers. While everything they say sounds amazing and is exactly what you want to hear, it's not the truth. Sweet talkers don't tell you anything that is true about yourself, and they never tell you anything they truly believe themselves. They tell you only what you want to hear in a manipulative, sneaky attempt to win you over so that you can start giving to them. The only thing you can trust about a sweet talker is that they are only interested in stealing your love and leaving you lonely and empty handed when it runs out.