Jun 02, 2013 23:20
I am writing again now. I have something new in my life that is not all the way disappointing for the first time in year. IT's strange to be almost happy. I hadn't realized until it came how unhappy I have been, but now I can see it so clearly and it makes me feel strange and tall, somehow (though that makes no sense).
I have been trying for quite some time now to be kinder, to be gentler, but I still love the me that makes mistakes and goes whole hog, not the stutter step I've developed recently.
What I meant to say is-- I should have gone to Georgetown.
I should have called you back.
I'm open and vulnerable for the first time in years, and I'm happy for the first time in year.
IN YEARS.
And I don't need to tell you how scary that is.