My Father...
I guess I never really had a father because my father is an asshole himself. I just got a text message from him bad-mouthing my mom, and I just texted him back saying that "I really didn't need to hear it from my own father. We'll talk tomorrow, Nite nite.." and then he text me back saying, "No, not goodbye... so Long!" eh.. talk about a punch in the stomach. I mean, I know my dad lives in Texas, and I haven't seen him in about 2 years, but blaming me for what my mom did to him 20 + years ago is not right.
The one thing about my dad is that I know, and my big brother knows that he's never really been there for me.. yes, me. Why? Because I'm just a daughter.. not a son, like my big brother. There were many times where he treated my big brother better than I, and I've always just let it get away, cause deep down inside I thought he loves me no matter what. One unforgettable memory: It was the year the Nintendo came out. That Christmas, all I wanted was some sort of Barbie, and my brother wanted the Nintendo. Now granted, Barbie's costed like, what... $10?? Christmas time came around.. He got his nintendo, and 5 games.. and all I got was a teenage mutant ninja turtle T-Shirt that was too big. From then on, I started taking note on how he always treated my brother different from me. My father never hit us, or yelled at us, or even treated us bad whenever we're visiting him.. But I did take note that wherever my brother wanted to go, or if he wanted something, he'll get it.. Me.. He just put me in the back. Fast forward to the present.. for the past 10 years, ever since I started working, my father only called for one thing.. Money. He never calls me just to have a civilize convo, but when he tries, he always ask for some sort of money. I only wired him money twice, only to help him "get back on his feet.." But I guess that's all i'm good for. Well, he does ask me about how i'm doing, and how my kids doing, but in the end, it's all about money.
So, I guess I act the way I act, because of him. I guess, I'm always looking out for people cause I care for them, and don't want to rely on people for help. So far, so good.
My big brother is somewhat like my father. Just about every month, he either calls me, or my mom for money. I remember one month i wired him about $400.. why? cause i didn't want to see him suffer. Now, he does have a job.. but I don't know why i give in sometimes. He makes more money than me. He's an operation manager to some tile company, and his supporting him, his wife, and 4 kids. Hell, I could barely support, me, the hubby, and 2 kids. But as far back as i can remember (back in my high school years), my brother and/or father would always come to either me or my mom for money. My mom would always wired brother the money. I don't want to be like that. I've never in my life asked my mom for money. If i needed money that bad, I'd work harder or get another job.
But I guess it really hurt me of what my father said...
I would like to say that my daddy died back in 2001. What i mean by that is, my little sister's father died that year, and he always cared for me and the siblings better than my father. Oh how i missed him so. seriously.
The one thing about my dad is that I know, and my big brother knows that he's never really been there for me.. yes, me. Why? Because I'm just a daughter.. not a son, like my big brother. There were many times where he treated my big brother better than I, and I've always just let it get away, cause deep down inside I thought he loves me no matter what. One unforgettable memory: It was the year the Nintendo came out. That Christmas, all I wanted was some sort of Barbie, and my brother wanted the Nintendo. Now granted, Barbie's costed like, what... $10?? Christmas time came around.. He got his nintendo, and 5 games.. and all I got was a teenage mutant ninja turtle T-Shirt that was too big. From then on, I started taking note on how he always treated my brother different from me. My father never hit us, or yelled at us, or even treated us bad whenever we're visiting him.. But I did take note that wherever my brother wanted to go, or if he wanted something, he'll get it.. Me.. He just put me in the back. Fast forward to the present.. for the past 10 years, ever since I started working, my father only called for one thing.. Money. He never calls me just to have a civilize convo, but when he tries, he always ask for some sort of money. I only wired him money twice, only to help him "get back on his feet.." But I guess that's all i'm good for. Well, he does ask me about how i'm doing, and how my kids doing, but in the end, it's all about money.
So, I guess I act the way I act, because of him. I guess, I'm always looking out for people cause I care for them, and don't want to rely on people for help. So far, so good.
My big brother is somewhat like my father. Just about every month, he either calls me, or my mom for money. I remember one month i wired him about $400.. why? cause i didn't want to see him suffer. Now, he does have a job.. but I don't know why i give in sometimes. He makes more money than me. He's an operation manager to some tile company, and his supporting him, his wife, and 4 kids. Hell, I could barely support, me, the hubby, and 2 kids. But as far back as i can remember (back in my high school years), my brother and/or father would always come to either me or my mom for money. My mom would always wired brother the money. I don't want to be like that. I've never in my life asked my mom for money. If i needed money that bad, I'd work harder or get another job.
But I guess it really hurt me of what my father said...
I would like to say that my daddy died back in 2001. What i mean by that is, my little sister's father died that year, and he always cared for me and the siblings better than my father. Oh how i missed him so. seriously.