heroin faced...
last night i got a $130 ticket for drinking in public..the cop was a wanker..some guy who was just "doing his job" too well..i sat there crying, yelling about how i couldnt afford the ticket because of college and rent... lies, lies, lies... anyway he gave me the ticket then me and hewy went to 7-11 and I stole about $20 worth of junk food...ah...to be consoled by jamacian patties...i felt good...
i spent this last weekend with a girl i met in toronto, friday afternoon until sunday night...that was fucked up...she was very beautiful and strange...very intense...ive never had such a weird experience with someone...confusion and fun, painful rage, frightening sweetness, comfort, hate, love...we are all russian in the end...
and i suppose i should dedicate some huge entry to her...she deserves it...but ill let it go...sorry...shes my secret...
then therapy..
my lies have caught up with me...my boss at work is forcing me to go to a shrink...damn...no more days off...
lets see...
march 11 - late entry, no explanation
march 29 - absence, mother in hospital (lied, cried)
march 30 - absence, mother in hospital (lied, cried)
april 12 - late entry, slept in due to lack of sleep (lied)
may 24 - early exit, accident on duty
may 25 - absence, accident on duty
june 15 - absence, changing shifts, needs some time to unwind (lie)
june 18 - absence, cant sleep cant stop crying (lied, i can cry very well..)
june 28 - absence, mental stress (lied)
july 7 - late entry, having trouble getting out of bed (lied)
july 8 - late entry, ditto
haha.. now they think im gone...and i cant let them call my bluff... i have to go for "professional help"... i always use that excuse because its such a touchy subject...people handle it with comforting awkwardness...but its never caught up with me...anyone else?
i spent this last weekend with a girl i met in toronto, friday afternoon until sunday night...that was fucked up...she was very beautiful and strange...very intense...ive never had such a weird experience with someone...confusion and fun, painful rage, frightening sweetness, comfort, hate, love...we are all russian in the end...
and i suppose i should dedicate some huge entry to her...she deserves it...but ill let it go...sorry...shes my secret...
then therapy..
my lies have caught up with me...my boss at work is forcing me to go to a shrink...damn...no more days off...
lets see...
march 11 - late entry, no explanation
march 29 - absence, mother in hospital (lied, cried)
march 30 - absence, mother in hospital (lied, cried)
april 12 - late entry, slept in due to lack of sleep (lied)
may 24 - early exit, accident on duty
may 25 - absence, accident on duty
june 15 - absence, changing shifts, needs some time to unwind (lie)
june 18 - absence, cant sleep cant stop crying (lied, i can cry very well..)
june 28 - absence, mental stress (lied)
july 7 - late entry, having trouble getting out of bed (lied)
july 8 - late entry, ditto
haha.. now they think im gone...and i cant let them call my bluff... i have to go for "professional help"... i always use that excuse because its such a touchy subject...people handle it with comforting awkwardness...but its never caught up with me...anyone else?