(no subject)
I'd had no intention of resting as Gisela suggested, but the hospital wing is slowly growing peaceful as the emergency is averted. After each blink I find it harder to open my eyes, and eventually I lose the fight.
My dreams are an unpleasant place, and it isn't long before I am opening my eyes again, this time on a gasping breath as nightmares chase me from slumber. The specifics fade quickly, but I am left with the taste of fear on the back of my tongue, and I don't think I can stand to lay here doing nothing any longer.
I push myself upright, groaning softly as stiff muscles protest the action. Swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, I rise gingerly, trying to keep most of my weight off my injured foot. A sudden stab of pain makes me hiss, but it subsides fairly quickly and I start to thread between the beds toward the exit.
Suddenly I stop short, seeing matched black-haired heads on a bed nearby. I shuffle closer, realizing that it is Shori's bed, but snuggled close beside him and apparently asleep is Yuuri.
For a minute, I forget everything but the blinding surge of anger that fills me. I can't identify what it is, not jealousy exactly, but something close. It washes away in the rising tide of guilt. Somewhere inside of me I feel like Shori was right to confront me, that Yuuri deserves care and patience that I can't provide. But, still, I am unwilling to give him up.
Perhaps now is not the time for this. I should leave them. I don't know what Shori has told Yuuri already, and I don't want to see him wake and look at me with eyes filled with loathing. Once I am better rested, changed out of this tattered and stained nightgown and leaving my vulnerability behind, then I can face him.
I inch carefully away from the bed, but another shot of pain in my foot makes me stumble and my hand crashes into the table beside Shori's bed. The pitcher of water topples sideways, and dampness spreads along the blankets. I wince, raising anxious eyes to Yuuri's face.
My dreams are an unpleasant place, and it isn't long before I am opening my eyes again, this time on a gasping breath as nightmares chase me from slumber. The specifics fade quickly, but I am left with the taste of fear on the back of my tongue, and I don't think I can stand to lay here doing nothing any longer.
I push myself upright, groaning softly as stiff muscles protest the action. Swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, I rise gingerly, trying to keep most of my weight off my injured foot. A sudden stab of pain makes me hiss, but it subsides fairly quickly and I start to thread between the beds toward the exit.
Suddenly I stop short, seeing matched black-haired heads on a bed nearby. I shuffle closer, realizing that it is Shori's bed, but snuggled close beside him and apparently asleep is Yuuri.
For a minute, I forget everything but the blinding surge of anger that fills me. I can't identify what it is, not jealousy exactly, but something close. It washes away in the rising tide of guilt. Somewhere inside of me I feel like Shori was right to confront me, that Yuuri deserves care and patience that I can't provide. But, still, I am unwilling to give him up.
Perhaps now is not the time for this. I should leave them. I don't know what Shori has told Yuuri already, and I don't want to see him wake and look at me with eyes filled with loathing. Once I am better rested, changed out of this tattered and stained nightgown and leaving my vulnerability behind, then I can face him.
I inch carefully away from the bed, but another shot of pain in my foot makes me stumble and my hand crashes into the table beside Shori's bed. The pitcher of water topples sideways, and dampness spreads along the blankets. I wince, raising anxious eyes to Yuuri's face.