My wonderful friends :)
Yesterday was an overall good day. School and Work sucked but I got to see Nick lots and Eric came to visit me. I was in a reletively good mood yesterday. MIchelle and Kat came to pittsburgh this weekend. We were going to go to a concert but things got running behind and we didn't make it. We still went to Wendy's and had tons of fun anyway. I really miss Michelle being here. I love Nick so much, but I miss hanging out with another girl. I have no girl friends. I can make friends easily, but then they usually end up wanting to go and party or they turn out to be a jerk. So I'm in a pretty good mood.
I hope that I start to be ok. I've been really moody and not fun lately. i really think the root of it is work. I like to work, but I'm having a hard time accepting that I don't have much of a personal life anymore. I used to see Nick almost 24/7 and then bam! I get a job and I'm either at school or at work 65% of the time. I get really depressed when I'm working and I don't know why. Like my day will start out perfectly fine, and then the more I sit here doing nothing, the sadder I become, because I think about the things I want to do, and I have no time to do them. Tomorrow I actually get to sleep, that is if I can. I have so much stress that I don't really know how to deal with it. I have tried to convince myself that I'm not under this much stress, but I am. And if Nick wasn't here I would've gone crazy a looooooong time ago. And last night I got really sad, because I wanted to play with them and I had to go to bed and be an old granny. Then i got really sad because I thought wow work is the root of this problem. I would ask for less hours, but I need the money too bad. Maybe next quarter will be better. I hope it will. I have American Regional which means I actually get to cook food. I hate baking so much. And I've decided I'm one of the stupidest people ever. Last week, when i was battling my pastry cream and I didn't know what I was doing... I figured it out! The original recipe was for a whole quart, and we had to scale that down by half, which would be a half of a quart. There are 4 cups in a quart and 2 in a half of a quart. I wrote that down correctly, but then I got hit wih a stupid stick and only put 1 cup of milk in the cream instead of 2. Chef was nice enough to give me a grade yesterday on my cream instead of just giving me a 0. But I'm stupid. And to make it better I had corrected Kiana like 5 minutes before i made mine. Becuase she almost only put 1 cup in, and then I only put 1 cup in. And the thing that makes it stupid is, I didn't just do it once, I did it 3 times. 3! and I was staring at the recipe the whole time... I hate baking. That class is my nemesis. It makes me want to cry... This quarter is just a bad quarter, but things will get better. Thats how it works :)
I'm just glad I have wonderful friends. Cause I know I am a jerk. And I'm glad they stick by me :) I'm so glad I have Nick too. Without him to give me so much support I don't know what I would do. Well I have to start typing up my journals :) Trust me, it will be fun!!
I hope that I start to be ok. I've been really moody and not fun lately. i really think the root of it is work. I like to work, but I'm having a hard time accepting that I don't have much of a personal life anymore. I used to see Nick almost 24/7 and then bam! I get a job and I'm either at school or at work 65% of the time. I get really depressed when I'm working and I don't know why. Like my day will start out perfectly fine, and then the more I sit here doing nothing, the sadder I become, because I think about the things I want to do, and I have no time to do them. Tomorrow I actually get to sleep, that is if I can. I have so much stress that I don't really know how to deal with it. I have tried to convince myself that I'm not under this much stress, but I am. And if Nick wasn't here I would've gone crazy a looooooong time ago. And last night I got really sad, because I wanted to play with them and I had to go to bed and be an old granny. Then i got really sad because I thought wow work is the root of this problem. I would ask for less hours, but I need the money too bad. Maybe next quarter will be better. I hope it will. I have American Regional which means I actually get to cook food. I hate baking so much. And I've decided I'm one of the stupidest people ever. Last week, when i was battling my pastry cream and I didn't know what I was doing... I figured it out! The original recipe was for a whole quart, and we had to scale that down by half, which would be a half of a quart. There are 4 cups in a quart and 2 in a half of a quart. I wrote that down correctly, but then I got hit wih a stupid stick and only put 1 cup of milk in the cream instead of 2. Chef was nice enough to give me a grade yesterday on my cream instead of just giving me a 0. But I'm stupid. And to make it better I had corrected Kiana like 5 minutes before i made mine. Becuase she almost only put 1 cup in, and then I only put 1 cup in. And the thing that makes it stupid is, I didn't just do it once, I did it 3 times. 3! and I was staring at the recipe the whole time... I hate baking. That class is my nemesis. It makes me want to cry... This quarter is just a bad quarter, but things will get better. Thats how it works :)
I'm just glad I have wonderful friends. Cause I know I am a jerk. And I'm glad they stick by me :) I'm so glad I have Nick too. Without him to give me so much support I don't know what I would do. Well I have to start typing up my journals :) Trust me, it will be fun!!