Star-Crossed
Title: Star-Crossed
Pairing: Sweden/Finland
Summary: Angels don’t fall in love with Humans. It just doesn’t happen. Until it does. Berwald/Angel!Tino.
Word Count: 4,195
So basically, I saw this fanart, and then I stared at it for about a half hour, and then this happened. And it kind of sucks, but here it is anyway.
It was not supposed to happen. It was supposed to not even be possible. At least, that is what Tino has been told for his entire life. Angels do not fall in love with Humans. It just does not happen.
Until it does.
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. This story begins long before this fateful event, when a young Angel was assigned guardianship of a human boy.
Berwald Oxenstierna was ten years old when Tino first laid eyes on him, gangling and awkward, shy and mumbling, constantly fixing the glasses that were too big for his face. This may have been Tino’s first assignment on Earth, but even he could tell why this boy was in need of a Guardian Angel. Tino felt sorry for him.
Now, the job of a Guardian Angel is not, as you may think, floating invisibly by the shoulder of a Human to somehow magically prevent harm from befalling them. It is, in fact, much more complicated. The Angel’s job is to guide their ward on their path through life, ensuring that they achieve their greatest potential. And Berwald had great potential, but also great potential to let the harsh words of others and his own shyness hold him back.
Tino set himself on earth in the form of a young man, a teacher’s aid in Berwald’s class so that he could oversee his education and encourage his development. He stayed with the boy in that form for two years. When Berwald entered secondary school Tino was a school nurse, which turned out to be a very wise decision. Practically overnight the teen grew up nearly a full head taller than his classmates. He was as shy as ever, and even more awkward as he dealt with his sudden growth spurt. The other students teased him; some tried to start fights simply because Berwald looked tall and strong. On several occasions he came to the nurse’s office with a black eye or a split lip, and each time Tino patched him up and sent him on his way with an encouraging word. “They’re just stupid kids; don’t pay any attention to them. They’re only jealous.” He encouraged Berwald to pursue what he was best at, carpentry and home economics, even if it was not the most glamorous or most highly regarded career. And Berwald did just that.
After graduation Berwald moved on to Konstfack University College of Arts, Crafts and Design. And Tino followed, as he had for the past ten years. This time the Angel set himself up as a student, a classmate, and hopefully a friend. Should they become friends, then Tino could easily stay in Berwald’s life for as long as he was needed, masking his guidance as friendly advice or encouragement.
But that was where all the trouble began.
----------
For the first time in his life Berwald was actually looking forward to school. He was looking to make a new start, away from the kids back home who had teased him. He hadn’t really had any friends back there. None he truly cared about, at least. And he was looking forward to the courses he would be taking here.
Even after the first month it was all that Berwald had hoped for. He found his teachers competent and his classmates mostly friendly, though he had yet to find himself any good friends. But that was soon to change.
Berwald was hunched over a drafting table in one of the school’s provided workshops, sketching out the design of a living room for an interior design course when he heard the soft, hesitant footsteps approaching. He did not look up, because he did not expect anyone to speak to him. So he was surprised when that was exactly what happened.
"Berwald?" the voice was hesitant and shy, but Berwald looked up all the same. Standing there beside his desk was a young man with light blond hair and violet eyes.
Violet eyes. Berwald was struck by those. There was something familiar about violet eyes, they had been following him his entire life, it seemed. Though he could not remember the faces they belonged to, he remembered them. The teacher's aid at primary school, the nurse in secondary, and now this student.
"Hi," the young man smiled shyly and held out his hand. "I'm Tino," he said cheerfully, "We... We have some classes together. I... um... I was wondering if you could help me with something?"
Berwald blinked at him from behind the lenses of his glasses. Help? From him? But he nodded almost automatically. "With what?"
"Well," Tino hesitated, looking a bit embarrassed. "I'm not very good at this, but I remember your design for the last assignment and it was really good. I was wondering if you would take a look at mine and let me know what you think? And maybe give me some advice?"
That startled Berwald even more. Advice? "Okay," he agreed, unable to deny the request when Tino had asked so politely and so earnestly. And he was extremely flattered to know that one of his classmates apparently admired his work, even though they had only turned in one assignment so far this young man trusted his judgement. Or at least valued his opinion.
Tino smiled brightly, and pulled a folder out from under his arm. He shuffled through it until he produced a few pages of drafting paper and held them out to Berwald. "I had a few ideas, and maybe you could just tell me which one you like best?" I know we're supposed to come up with our own designs without influence, but the professor really hated my last one and I don't want to mess up again. You understand, right?"
"Of course," Berwald replied as he took the pages and began to look at him. Even though Tino had interrupted his own work he was not upset. That was strange, Berwald thought, he usually did get annoyed when someone interrupted his train of thought. He wondered why Tino was different.
They ended up talking about the assignment and sharing ideas for the next hour and a half, and after that they headed to the school dining hall together to have dinner. It was the longest Berwald had ever spent with someone outside of his family. And as they parted he found himself looking forward to class the next day even more than usual.
Over the next weeks Berwald continued to meet with Tino for various reasons, to work on school projects or simply to talk over coffee or dinner. And Berwald found himself growing increasingly fond of the young man.
----------
Tino did not realize until December, when Berwald asked what his plans were for the coming school holiday, that maybe they were dating. He had made up some nonsense about visiting his family and run away as quickly as possible. This was incredibly problematic. He meant only for Berwald to make friends so that he could do his job that much easier. He had not expected Berwald to fall in love with him, and he had to do something fast to change the course of events of it could become dangerous.
He began avoiding Berwald as much as he could without being obvious, begging leave to work on large projects, pretending he had a job. When they spoke Tino began trying to drop comments about some of their female classmates, hoping that Berwald might lose interest if he thought Tino unobtainable; which he was, just not for that reason.
Thankfully, Berwald did not seem to notice and was soon wrapped up in finishing his own projects before heading home for the holidays. And when the next term began Tino made certain he did not appear in any of Berwald’s classes, hoping this might reduce the frequency of their get-togethers.
It did not work.
----------
Berwald spent the entire winter holiday wondering whether he had done something to upset his new friend. But he told himself he was being silly; of course Tino would be busy in the last weeks of term, he had no reason to suspect ulterior motives. He also told himself that he should not have been disappointed that they shared no classes in the spring term. But he could not help it.
Although he had managed to make a few other friends, he still felt closest to Tino. Not that he knew why. They did not have all that much in common. He just felt like Tino understood him. He felt like he had known Tino all his life, as cliché as that sounded.
It was the third week of the new term when Berwald realized he had no contact information for his violet-eyed friend. He didn’t even know where Tino lived. Asking around, none of their mutual acquaintances did, either. Unable to knock on his door or ever call him on the phone Berwald took to stalking around campus, hanging around the workshops longer than necessary, and going to the dining halls at odd times with the hopes their paths would cross. Eventually it worked, as it was bound to.
It was once again in the school’s studio workshop, where Berwald was actually working on an assignment, not just wasting time hoping that Tino would show up. But it appeared his effort paid off eventually. He heard the door open and looked up, then almost grinned when he saw who was there.
“Tino,” he greeted happily, and waved to the other student as he came into the room.
“Oh, hi Berwald,” Tino replied, smiling softly as he made his way over to the table where Berwald was sitting. “How are you?”
“Good,” Berwald replied. “You been busy? I haven’t seen you around lately.”
“Yeah,” Tino replied, and shifted uncomfortably, glancing down at his feet and then back up. “Just a lot of stuff came up, you know? … How was your vacation?”
Tino was a terribly liar, and Berwald could tell that he was trying to change the subject. Why would Tino lie to him? He wondered. “Fine,” he replied, reluctantly allowing his friend to redirect their conversation. “How was yours?”
“It was great,” Tino answered almost too quickly.
Berwald just nodded, and the two fell into an uncomfortable silence. Tino shifted from foot to foot nervously, constantly glancing around the room and then back at Berwald like a caged bird. “You alright?” he asked in concern, because Tino was acting very strange.
“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Tino asked in reply.
“You just seem nervous,” Berwald explained.
“Oh,” Tino hesitated a moment, and then shrugged, “Probably just stressed, I guess. School and everything.”
“Right,” Berwald replied, nodding and pretending to understand. Something fishy was definitely going on. He felt more and more like Tino was purposely avoiding him. “I wanted to talk to you about something earlier, but I realized I never got your phone number,” he said, “What is it?”
Tino stared at him blankly for a long moment. “My…?” he began in confusion, “Oh. I don’t have a phone.”
“You don’t have a phone?” Berwald repeated in confusion. Who in this day and age didn’t have a phone? Not even at home? “How do people get in contact with you?”
Again Tino stared at him blankly, something akin to panic showing in his eyes. “They…. Don’t… Usually,” he eventually admitted. “I… don’t know many people…”
Berwald was getting very confused, and more than a little offended. If Tino was just making up excuses, then this was the worst one he had ever heard. He could just say he did not want Berwald to have his number; that he did not want to be friends anymore. Though, Berwald had no idea why Tino would want to end their friendship. “If you don’t want to talk to me anymore you can just say it,” Berwald muttered, “You don’t have to make up crap excuses.”
“No no no!” Tino insisted hurriedly, and raised his hands up defensively. “It’s not like that. I really don’t have a phone. I’ve… I’ve never needed one before.”
Strange as it was, Tino sounded so earnest that Berwald couldn’t help believing him. “Then… Do you still want to hang out sometimes?” he asked.
“I do,” Tino replied. “I’m sorry if you thought… I didn’t mean to avoid you. There was just… Some stuff I needed to think about, and I was busy.”
“Do you want to go for coffee, then?” Berwald asked.
“R-right now?” Tino stammered in surprise.
Berwald nodded eagerly. “Unless you’re busy.”
Tino hesitated, glancing around the room again and up at the clock. “No… I guess I’m not.”
Berwald was pleased, and he quickly packed up his things, not at all concerned that he had stopped in the middle of an assignment that was due the next day. Going for coffee with Tino was much preferable to doing school work anyway.
----------
The plan to get Berwald to back off was not working. Of course, it did not help that Tino simply could not be unfriendly to him or do anything that would purposely break his heart. But as this went on for further months, with their friendship growing closer and Berwald ever more curious - such that Tino eventually had to obtain a cell phone and an actual place to live - it was getting harder and harder to get out of it.
But Berwald was doing well in school, making other friends, improving his talents. And that was exactly what Tino was put here to ensure. If he did anything rash it might upset the delicate balance that currently held Berwald’s life on a perfect course toward its ultimate goal. There was only one problem.
Tino had somehow become a part of that goal.
He had known Berwald longer than anyone save his own parents. For more than ten years he had watched over him. Tino wanted nothing more than to see him happy in the end. The Angel saw more than Berwald himself did. He saw all possible outcomes. Berwald was falling in love with someone who did not exist. And if Tino could not get him to fall out of love he could not remove that someone from Berwald’s life without harsh consequences.
Nothing he tried worked. Every time Tino did something he thought would make Berwald’s affection lessen it did the exact opposite. Tino could feel that affection growing greater and deeper until there was absolutely nothing he could do to fight it. It all finally came to a peak in one gloriously horrible, beautifully ill fated moment.
A kiss.
----------
It was December again. Berwald had just completed his last projects for the term and invited Tino to dinner with him to celebrate. As they left the restaurant he could see his breath on the air and he pulled his coat tighter around himself.
Berwald didn’t know what prompted him to action. Perhaps he had had one too many drinks over dinner. Or maybe he had watched too many romance movies over summer break. Perchance the stars were aligned just right. Whatever the inspiration, Berwald saw Tino staring up at him with those painfully familiar violet eyes and the next thing he knew he was leaning down to press their lips together.
It lasted only a moment before his brain kicked back into action and he pulled away, cheeks burning in embarrassment. Tino had turned bright red all the way to the tips of his ears, which Berwald found absolutely adorable even as he waited in terror for the other to react in some way.
“I…. I…” Tino stammered, blushing and fidgeting and looking everywhere but at Berwald’s face. “I have to go,” he eventually spit out, then he turned on his heel and he was gone down the street before Berwald even had a chance to stop him.
Depressed, disheartened, and feeling like an utter fool, Berwald turned the opposite direction and began heading home.
---------
It was not Berwald’s first kiss, but it most certainly was Tino’s. The Angel practically fled the scene as soon as it was over. It was all he could do to make a dignified escape as a human and keep from disappearing into thin air right then and there. Everything was going so horribly, painfully wrong.
But then why did he feel so happy?
Why couldn’t he stop thinking about it?
He kept going over what had happened in his head. He painted out the events that would have happened had he not run and, though it terrified him, the image was pleasant.
By all logic Tino should disappear from Berwald’s life right now, replace that starry-eyed student he had created with someone Berwald would have no romantic interest in. But if he did that, what would happen to Berwald? All roads led to the same conclusion: Berwald sad, lonely, forever wondering what had become of his first love and what he had done wrong. It pained Tino to think of him like that.
During Berwald’s childhood when Tino had looked into his future - his brightest future - he had seen someone by Berwald’s side; someone that the man loved deeply. But that figure had ever been without a face, only a shadowy form beyond Tino’s sight. Perhaps that was meant to be him. What a selfish thought, but it made Tino’s heart feel light and joyous.
As he thought about it, turning his options over and over in his head for days, Tino came up with only one solution. He had to tell Berwald the truth.
----------
Berwald did not hear from Tino for three days, and the other was not answering his phone, either. That was not surprising, though. It was obvious Bewald had done something unforgivable. He had probably ruined their friendship and scared Tino off forever. So, needless to day, Berwald was surprised when he answered a knock on his apartment door one day and found Tino standing on his doorstep.
“Hi,” the young man said shyly.
“Hi,” Berwald replied, to shocked to think of anything smart to say.
“I wanted to apologize for running off,” Tino said quietly. “I was just surprised. I didn’t expect… that.”
“I’m sorry,” Berwald replied. He hadn’t meant to do anything that would make Tino uncomfortable or frightened.
“I have to tell you something,” Tino explained, “And it’s going to sound ridiculous, but I promise that it’s true. I swear it’s true. So you have to promise that you’ll believe me.”
“Of course,” Berwald answered without hesitation, and, sensing this was something private, ushered Tino into the apartment so they would not be overheard.
Tino hesitated to speak, even after Berwald’s assurance. He shifted from foot to foot, fidgeting and unable to keep his eyes in one place, as he always did when nervous. “Berwald I can’t be with you, even if I want to because…. Because I’m your Guardian Angel.”
It took a moment of that outrageous claim to sink in. And when it finally did the only thing Berwald could think to say was, “What?” But Tino didn’t reply, only stood there silently waiting for Berwald’s final verdict. And Berwald, despite his promises, found it impossible to believe. In fact, the more he thought about it the more ridiculous it became, and he more annoyed he became. “You expect me to believe that? If you’re going to make up excuses you could at least make them possible.”
Tino sighed softly, obviously expecting this sort of reaction. “I know it’s hard to believe,” he said slowly. “But I swear it’s true.”
Berwald scoffed and turned away. “I know I probably made you hate me, but don’t mock me. It’s not funny.”
“I’m not mocking you,” Tino insisted, and he grabbed Berwald’s arm to keep him from walking away.
Berwald practically growled and he turned around, prepared to tell Tino off. It was bad enough his heart was broken he didn’t need to be made fun of on top of it. But as he set eyes on the other man the words died on his lips. What he saw standing before him was no longer Tino. Not the Tino he had come to know, at least. His face was the same, but everything else had changed. In place of the well worn sweatshirt and jeans he usually wore were garments of white and gold and silver, armor like that of the knights Berwald saw in movies and paintings with mail so fine it flowed like fabric and wide satin sleeves. From his back sprouted two enormous wings, feathers as new fallen snow, cramped in the confines of Berwald’s small apartment.
“I’m not lying to you,” Tino said softly stepping close to him. “But now I’ve told you I’m going to get in trouble. A lot of trouble. You’ll probably never see me again. But Berwald, I promise that I’ll always watch over you. And I do love you. More than you could ever know.”
Berwald’s voice was still lost to him, even as Tino leaned up on his toes and pressed the softest kiss to the corner of his mouth. It was like his brained had stopped working.
“I have to go now,” Tino murmured. “I’m sorry; it wasn’t supposed to be like this.”
“Don’t,” Berwald finally regained enough consciousness to speak, but that was all he managed to get out. This was all too much to take in, and it was happening far too fast.
Tino sighed and looked up at him with a sad smile. “I have to. They’re angry with me already, I can tell.”
“They?” Berwald asked in confusion.
“The others,” Tino replied. “This is against the rules.”
Berwald shook his head. He was in love with Tino, and Tino loved him back. So they were supposed to be together; that’s how it was supposed to work. His heart was breaking all over again. “You can’t,” Berwald insisted, and he grabbed Tino, crushing the Angel against his chest as though he could hold him there forever. “You can’t go.”
“I have to,” Tino said softly, and laid his head against Berwald’s shoulder.
Again Berwald shook his head, and he opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by a knocking at the door. He froze, looking up like a startled animal and staring at the hardwood backing of the door.
“They’re here,” Tino murmured. “You have to let me go, Berwald.”
“I won’t,” Berwald said defiantly. “I love you, Tino.”
“I know,” Tino sighed and pulled back from his fierce embrace enough to look up into Berwald’s face. “I love you, too.” Then he very carefully took the man’s face in his hands and leaned in to give him one last kiss.
Berwald closed his eyes and let himself drown in the feeling of soft warm lips pressed gently against his own. His grip on Tino went slack. There was no point in fighting. What could he hope to do against Angels? They would take Tino from him whether he liked it or not. But he kept his eyes closed even as the kiss ended and he felt Tino slip away, he did not want to watch him leave.
But when he opened his eyes again Tino was not gone. Only it was no longer the Angel that stood before him, but the confused young college student.
“Berwald?” the young man asked in confusion. “What’s wrong? You look like you’re about to cry?” He frowned in concern, looking up at the man’s face, and then he noticed where they were and looked around in confusion. “How did we get back to your apartment?”
Berwald could only stare at him in shock and confusion. “Tino?” he asked in disbelief.
“Yeah?” the other stared up at him with those same familiar violet eyes, but there was something different about them. When Berwald didn’t answer right away he looked around in confusion again. “How much did I drink, Berwald? I swear I don’t remember anything since we left the restaurant. What’s wrong?”
Unable to stop himself, Berwald swept the smaller man back into his embrace and held him tightly, practically lifting him off the ground and drawing a yelp of surprise from the startled young man. “I love you,” he breathed before he could stop himself.
“O-oh,” Tino gasped softly.
Belatedly Berwald realized what he was doing and he released the other, setting Tino back on his feet and drawing back somewhat. The smaller man was staring up at him with wide eyes and a red face, stammering softly. “Sorry…” Berwald began to apologize, but he was quickly cut off.
“Don’t,” Tino interjected, and then smiled. “Don’t apologize… I love you too.”
This time Berwald didn’t even try to stop himself as he swept Tino off his feet and kissed him soundly. He didn’t understand it. He had no explanation, logical or otherwise. But that did not matter. Tino was here with him, and this time he would not leave, not for anything in the world.
The End.
[Source]