*locked to Hope*

[golden_bill]

After school Billy ditched hockey practice to come talk to Hope at the apartment by the sea. Skateboard in hand, he walked the 6 blocks from the subway to the apartment. He was hurt and tired, and his jaw ached a little. He was irritable but worried and he knew talking about things needed to be done

Comments

[virtuous_hope]

Hope stood at the window looking out at the ocean, she always loved it here, so close to the sea, the smell of the ocean air. Shivering a little she closed the window and the blinds, pulling a blanket around her and settling down upon the sofa. She really didn't like the way things were going, but she coudln't control them.

Snuggling down on the sofa she played with her lip as she read her book, eyes reading and rereading the same part over and over. Looking up when she heard him call her name she reached for the bookmark.

"I'm in the living room."

[golden_bill]

Billy dropped his backpack and skateboard by the door and sat next to her in the living room. He rubbed his bruised jaw for a second before looking at her.

"Hey."

[virtuous_hope]

"Hey," she gave him a weak smile before frowening and reaching up to move his hand from his jaw, frowening when she saw the bruising there.

"Baby, what happened?"

[golden_bill]

"Your dad decided I disrespected you," Bill shrugged and put his arm around Hope. "He was angry and drunk. You know. The usual." The last part was a joke but might have sounded a little bitter.

[virtuous_hope]

Hope closed her eyes and leaned against him, her head resting on his chest and she closed her eyes, listening to his heartbeat. "I'm sorry, It's probably my fault he did that."

[golden_bill]

"That's okay. How are you?" Bill smiled softly.

[virtuous_hope]

"Better now you're here."

Hope slipped her arm around his back, cuddling him close, "I'm sorry I dissapointed you. I never meant to."

[golden_bill]

Billy smiled at her and shook his head. "You didn't disappoint me, but it sounds like I disappointed you. I'm sorry I wasn't there to, what was it? Carry you in from the snow?"

[virtuous_hope]

She just nodded and hid her face, "After your letter I just wanted to be on my own. The house is always filled with people so I went outside and just sat down under the tree. I didn't care about the snow, all that went through my head was that you were gone. Too many people have walked out on me, I was just so scared you'd not come back because of something I'd done, just like everyone else."

[golden_bill]

"I said I was coming back," Billy said honestly, stroking her red hair. "And I told you where I was, if you were so scared you could have come to me."

[virtuous_hope]

"People have said that before, besides, if things were fine between us, why would you want to leave?" Looking up she stroked his cheek, "Billy, I know that there are times when people say they want to be alone and if you push them they pull away all the more." She felt her eyes well up, "I don't want to be without you."

[golden_bill]

"I've never broken a promise to you before. I've never been one of those people," He regarded her seriously. "I'm 18 years old, Hope. This pregnancy thing? It was huge. And after it? My first reaction was to run and never look back. But of course, I love you I would never do that. My second reaction was to celebrate with you, that we had a little more time before we had to grow up. But then you said you had no future without the baby? Then what was your future going to be before we thought you were pregnant? It was just all this pressure... I just want to diffuse. I never imagined you'd be upset at me for that."

[virtuous_hope]

"people change Billy. Look when you started drinking, you were brought up not to abuse alcohol and you did, people change, maybe that part of you changed too." Hope glanced and looked down, "Look at it from my side Billy. If I'd been pregnant I would have been a mother, I would have something to focus on, I could make a difference. Then when I wasn't I thought about how Dad might not be alive when we're wanting children and you were going to go to school and..." Hope sighed, "You were doing something with your life, something important and I...I didn't exactly think that."

"I race cars, you're going to be this fantastic doctor and you'd be so busy. I don't know, for a moment I wanted to be selfish because while you're at school for all those long hours or working late I'd have something of you, of us." She shook her head, "It's silly, I know. I just don't want to be left behind on my own."

[golden_bill]

"I don't understand. Yes, I was brought up to be responsibile and I am. I had a problem and I fixed it, I don't understand what that had to do with this. " Billy looked at her incredulously. "You're HOPE! How is that not important? How is helping people not something to focus on? Not something important? It's way more important than anything I'll ever do."

[virtuous_hope]

"It means you sometimes do things out of character, we all do." Sitting back she took hold of his hand, "As hope I don't need to do all that much, just being here and surviving means hope exists. But it's not something for me, I want to feel important by doing something. Activly doing something, not by just existing."

[golden_bill]

"Just exsisting is all Hope has to do to provide Hope?" Billy wasn't surprised but didn't say anything else. "You are important though, very important. Cars and stuff? You're so lucky. If I could just do something fun for a living, like play baseball? I so would. But if you don't feel like you do enough you could volunteer or donate to the Christian Children's Fund or something." Billy shrugged, he didn't think this was really the problem.