welcome back ....to the real world.
it has been so long since i have updated this and i shall explain later in the story why...i dont know where to begin to tell this story...you may not think it is real but ...it is. This is direct and has not been altered in anyway. (also another note, my times and dates are out the window i have no idea when these things took place all im going to try to do is put them in the best order i can.)
Part One : Leaving Houston to get Alex.
I was in Houston with family and such but everyone started heading back so I didnt want to be stuck there. I make a phone call to my millionaire uncle in Lafayette to see what he can do to help me with this situation. He tells me I have a place for you to stay your own apartment, and jobs for you and Alex. I am full of joy when I hear this news. Next I call Alex who meanwhile is in Jackson with his family. When he hears of the Lafayette proposition he gets a bus ticket and plans to meet me there a few days later. Well here coms our first obstacle (or cross) as alex likes to call them but me not being as religious i will say obstacle. I get a phone call from a random phone number when im still in Houston its alex. He is using someone's cellphone in a shelter where he is. Yes a Red Cross shelter. His bus broke down and he had no where to stay the night. So he spent it in a shelter and he said he would be delayed a day and also i had to pick him up in BR because his bus wouldnt go to Lafayette or something. The next day i leave houston for Lafayette i drive by myself the like 4 or 5 hours or watever. Get there and meet up with my uncle and chill. Later I go get Alex from the bus station in baton rouge. I can't describe it ....he was not alex...just a shell. Battered and Bruised no im not being dramatic you werent there .....dont argue or disagree take my word for it. He was in need of immediate attention i had two cigarettes left we smoked the last two orignal american spirits i had and put on Ryan to soothe the wounds.
Part Two: Our Apartment At Mary Margaret's House filled with Creepy Little Statues.
We arrive in Lafayette and my uncle tells us how the apartment fell through or something...or some asians or staying there now. (sidenote on my uncle i love him with all my heart and he is very good to me. However, he is full of shit. But he is a rich fucker that is full of shit.) Also I would like to explain why alex and i wanted to go to Lafayette. We wanted some time to write and work and be away from everyone we knew. that aside now i continue the story. So my uncle tells us we will be staying upstairs at this old womans house but she is cool and we can come and go as we please. Well, Alex and I walk in the house there is an 80 something year old little woman staring us down. Her name Mary Margaret that was what were told anyway. She doesnt introduce herself only shows us to our room and begins starting to spout off rules. Such as telling her where we are going and when we will be back and that we have to be home at 9 ok watever. We figured this lady is being nice we will put up with it. Plus i forgot to say she had a huge house from the outside so we figured it might be really nice. God we were sadly mistaken. We walked into which i think at one time was an attic, and i laid my eyes upon our second obstacle. Two single wooden beds that looked like they were from a convent in the 1600's and wood panels on all the walls and the ceiling. The carpet was a color i dont think exists naturally in the color spectrum. Also, there were all these tiny doors in the room. That when you opened them it was complete darkness. I felt like i was in a horror movie. These were not normal sized doors either. Alex and i joked that little things would come out of there later and torment us. Luckily they didnt but still those doors were fucking weird. Mary Margaret is also the first person ive met to have the entire collection of readers digest. Yea it was in our room too. However, the weirdest part was the room was cluttered with all of these little white statues of people. I dont mean 5 or 10 prolly more in the 30 or 50 range i mean there was a shitload of them. And when you woke up they would be staring at you, or rather alex bc they were mostly on alex's side. So we decide to go purchase a tv from walmart to just watch tv all night and play xbox because neither one of us wanted to sleep in the room. There was also what i think was an omen not to sleep becasue when i laid down in my ancient bed it broke and i fell on the floor. fuck old beds im big but im not that fat or maybe i am whatever it doesnt matter. So a couple of days pass with really odd things taking place each day ...the lights all flicker on and off the water in the bathroom all shoots out in spurts. Just all around weird stuff that happens. Plus the old lady wants to wash our clothes and starts telling alex how she wants a pair of his underwear or something. I really thought i was going to die or atleast she was a witch and was going to turn us into something. So we spent the next few days searching for jobs and nights watching dvds and playing xbox with some sleep. My uncle feeling bad starts to take me and Alex out to dinner every night.
Part Three: My Uncles and Red's
My other uncle is now with the full of shit one, and they are equally wealthy. Not that it matters but it semi comes into play. Alex and i begin hanging out with them at night and they take us to dinner. They dont work they spend all day at this tennis club called "Red's" in lafayette. They speak of it as if it is heaven. " The women are magnificent and the competition on the court is impecable." just one of the many quotes describing this fitness dream of theirs. I dont remember many nights but one in particular we went to this favorite hangout of theirs " O' Charley's" It you havent been there its one of those chessy chain restaurants. However, this one has good drink specials and hott waitresses that go to ULL, My uncles being the dirty older men they are love it here. Food is okay, we got drunk as hell though, and my ass uncle tipped this waitress 40 dollars on like a 100 dollar meal. anyway, back to the important stuff at this dinner he tells alex and i of a condo he has for us he is going to pay the rent all we have to do is bring the check to the guy and pick up the keys and we can move in. usually i would just pass it off as more of his bullshit but this time it was real.
Part Four: 211 Parkside Apt. 4 and a midnight trip to the ER ......Julien's
Alex and i are fucking pumped as hell and the next day get up and make a trip to New Orleans to get clothes and shit we get up at 5 am. Walk downstairs and there is mary margaret yelling at as where are you going and such...we just walk by her. We go to my house everything is fine, we grab the essentials clothes dvds a bigger tv, computer, etc. Meg calls us and wants us to pick her up in lockport. So we go get her more time in the car, i think my ass and lower back are numb to all the car rides now. We get back to lafayette go get the keys in east jesus, and then go to mary margarets to move out. When we walk in the door she immediately started questioning meg on who she was and such and the old bitch began to act all nice and normal.She made us look like liars because we had been complaining about how weird and mean she was. watever fuck her. So we walk up to our room where there is a post it note saying to bring our clothes down bc they smell. shes weird.( i still have that note by the way, to show any of you if yall dont believe me) i think she just wanted our underwear, so anyway we move out and go to out new apartment yay!! There was much rejoicing. We get there its cool two bedrooms one bath a huge living room and kitchen no furniture. we slept on the floor that night and then went to buy air mattresses.
(This is the point where i really started losing it we began smoking way to pot and things just got kind of out of hand and so i forgot things or dont remember when what happenend)
Our neighbor upstairs Joanna, or Joanne. To this day i dont think anyone knows which it is but moving on. She was 21 and into drugs so we immediately had the hookup for all we needed. Not long after we were in there liz and them came to visit and sarah liz's roomate bf came...his name Chance. Chance is a rocker, never met him before but now i did. He plays music and such totally fits in. He kind of became the third amigo or roomate rather. It was indirectly but we liked him living there as did he so it was cool. One day we stumbled upon the sandwich shop called julien's. The food incredible best poboy's you would ever have. After our third day in a row there the waitress knew us and we had our own table. It was always empty but we loved it. We would go sit and talk like old men. Talking about everything and nothing ....life can be so good. The girls came and visited us several times it was very rock. each time we had a crazy amount of fun...and its always cool when you get to wake up next to a beautiful girl...i know im a dork but its true. One time the girls came they brought our friend John with them. (im gonna call him john that not his name but in order to respect his privacy of the following incidents) The next night John decided to drink like 4 bottles of wine and smoke a ridiculous amount of weed. Yea hes already really weird and he carries this huge boot knife with him. well he decided it would be funny to cut himself. He did and it was very fucking deep i could almost see the bone. after practically putting him in the car he went to the emergency room. where he proceeded to tell us and the doctor he would take extra vitamins and by the next day it would heal. He has 7 stiches. Just when things start looking up for us to come home another fucking hurricane is coming. I mean fuck give us a break. So we said fuck it we arent leaving we went and stocked up on food and water and alcohol and road the storm out at our apartment. The night it hit we went upstairs to joanna's and hung out with our african american friend greg. Let me tell you about greg he has 3 cellphones and smokes blunts like they are cigarettes he is the definition of pothead. we smoked some insane amount that night like a quarter pound or something insane. i dunno watever i was pretty out of my mind. the next day i realized i was doing all over what i did at lsu for a year. i immediately felt worthless and had to go back to new orleans to work and get my shit back on track.
Conclusion: The return to New Orleans
Last night we had one final bash at our place....the girls came up it was a kickin time. Today we got up cleaned i brought chance back to his dads in broussard. Alex and i loaded up the car and waved goodbye to our humble abode. this ended our stay in lafayette and our time as refugees. we are now finally back in the real world.
Part One : Leaving Houston to get Alex.
I was in Houston with family and such but everyone started heading back so I didnt want to be stuck there. I make a phone call to my millionaire uncle in Lafayette to see what he can do to help me with this situation. He tells me I have a place for you to stay your own apartment, and jobs for you and Alex. I am full of joy when I hear this news. Next I call Alex who meanwhile is in Jackson with his family. When he hears of the Lafayette proposition he gets a bus ticket and plans to meet me there a few days later. Well here coms our first obstacle (or cross) as alex likes to call them but me not being as religious i will say obstacle. I get a phone call from a random phone number when im still in Houston its alex. He is using someone's cellphone in a shelter where he is. Yes a Red Cross shelter. His bus broke down and he had no where to stay the night. So he spent it in a shelter and he said he would be delayed a day and also i had to pick him up in BR because his bus wouldnt go to Lafayette or something. The next day i leave houston for Lafayette i drive by myself the like 4 or 5 hours or watever. Get there and meet up with my uncle and chill. Later I go get Alex from the bus station in baton rouge. I can't describe it ....he was not alex...just a shell. Battered and Bruised no im not being dramatic you werent there .....dont argue or disagree take my word for it. He was in need of immediate attention i had two cigarettes left we smoked the last two orignal american spirits i had and put on Ryan to soothe the wounds.
Part Two: Our Apartment At Mary Margaret's House filled with Creepy Little Statues.
We arrive in Lafayette and my uncle tells us how the apartment fell through or something...or some asians or staying there now. (sidenote on my uncle i love him with all my heart and he is very good to me. However, he is full of shit. But he is a rich fucker that is full of shit.) Also I would like to explain why alex and i wanted to go to Lafayette. We wanted some time to write and work and be away from everyone we knew. that aside now i continue the story. So my uncle tells us we will be staying upstairs at this old womans house but she is cool and we can come and go as we please. Well, Alex and I walk in the house there is an 80 something year old little woman staring us down. Her name Mary Margaret that was what were told anyway. She doesnt introduce herself only shows us to our room and begins starting to spout off rules. Such as telling her where we are going and when we will be back and that we have to be home at 9 ok watever. We figured this lady is being nice we will put up with it. Plus i forgot to say she had a huge house from the outside so we figured it might be really nice. God we were sadly mistaken. We walked into which i think at one time was an attic, and i laid my eyes upon our second obstacle. Two single wooden beds that looked like they were from a convent in the 1600's and wood panels on all the walls and the ceiling. The carpet was a color i dont think exists naturally in the color spectrum. Also, there were all these tiny doors in the room. That when you opened them it was complete darkness. I felt like i was in a horror movie. These were not normal sized doors either. Alex and i joked that little things would come out of there later and torment us. Luckily they didnt but still those doors were fucking weird. Mary Margaret is also the first person ive met to have the entire collection of readers digest. Yea it was in our room too. However, the weirdest part was the room was cluttered with all of these little white statues of people. I dont mean 5 or 10 prolly more in the 30 or 50 range i mean there was a shitload of them. And when you woke up they would be staring at you, or rather alex bc they were mostly on alex's side. So we decide to go purchase a tv from walmart to just watch tv all night and play xbox because neither one of us wanted to sleep in the room. There was also what i think was an omen not to sleep becasue when i laid down in my ancient bed it broke and i fell on the floor. fuck old beds im big but im not that fat or maybe i am whatever it doesnt matter. So a couple of days pass with really odd things taking place each day ...the lights all flicker on and off the water in the bathroom all shoots out in spurts. Just all around weird stuff that happens. Plus the old lady wants to wash our clothes and starts telling alex how she wants a pair of his underwear or something. I really thought i was going to die or atleast she was a witch and was going to turn us into something. So we spent the next few days searching for jobs and nights watching dvds and playing xbox with some sleep. My uncle feeling bad starts to take me and Alex out to dinner every night.
Part Three: My Uncles and Red's
My other uncle is now with the full of shit one, and they are equally wealthy. Not that it matters but it semi comes into play. Alex and i begin hanging out with them at night and they take us to dinner. They dont work they spend all day at this tennis club called "Red's" in lafayette. They speak of it as if it is heaven. " The women are magnificent and the competition on the court is impecable." just one of the many quotes describing this fitness dream of theirs. I dont remember many nights but one in particular we went to this favorite hangout of theirs " O' Charley's" It you havent been there its one of those chessy chain restaurants. However, this one has good drink specials and hott waitresses that go to ULL, My uncles being the dirty older men they are love it here. Food is okay, we got drunk as hell though, and my ass uncle tipped this waitress 40 dollars on like a 100 dollar meal. anyway, back to the important stuff at this dinner he tells alex and i of a condo he has for us he is going to pay the rent all we have to do is bring the check to the guy and pick up the keys and we can move in. usually i would just pass it off as more of his bullshit but this time it was real.
Part Four: 211 Parkside Apt. 4 and a midnight trip to the ER ......Julien's
Alex and i are fucking pumped as hell and the next day get up and make a trip to New Orleans to get clothes and shit we get up at 5 am. Walk downstairs and there is mary margaret yelling at as where are you going and such...we just walk by her. We go to my house everything is fine, we grab the essentials clothes dvds a bigger tv, computer, etc. Meg calls us and wants us to pick her up in lockport. So we go get her more time in the car, i think my ass and lower back are numb to all the car rides now. We get back to lafayette go get the keys in east jesus, and then go to mary margarets to move out. When we walk in the door she immediately started questioning meg on who she was and such and the old bitch began to act all nice and normal.She made us look like liars because we had been complaining about how weird and mean she was. watever fuck her. So we walk up to our room where there is a post it note saying to bring our clothes down bc they smell. shes weird.( i still have that note by the way, to show any of you if yall dont believe me) i think she just wanted our underwear, so anyway we move out and go to out new apartment yay!! There was much rejoicing. We get there its cool two bedrooms one bath a huge living room and kitchen no furniture. we slept on the floor that night and then went to buy air mattresses.
(This is the point where i really started losing it we began smoking way to pot and things just got kind of out of hand and so i forgot things or dont remember when what happenend)
Our neighbor upstairs Joanna, or Joanne. To this day i dont think anyone knows which it is but moving on. She was 21 and into drugs so we immediately had the hookup for all we needed. Not long after we were in there liz and them came to visit and sarah liz's roomate bf came...his name Chance. Chance is a rocker, never met him before but now i did. He plays music and such totally fits in. He kind of became the third amigo or roomate rather. It was indirectly but we liked him living there as did he so it was cool. One day we stumbled upon the sandwich shop called julien's. The food incredible best poboy's you would ever have. After our third day in a row there the waitress knew us and we had our own table. It was always empty but we loved it. We would go sit and talk like old men. Talking about everything and nothing ....life can be so good. The girls came and visited us several times it was very rock. each time we had a crazy amount of fun...and its always cool when you get to wake up next to a beautiful girl...i know im a dork but its true. One time the girls came they brought our friend John with them. (im gonna call him john that not his name but in order to respect his privacy of the following incidents) The next night John decided to drink like 4 bottles of wine and smoke a ridiculous amount of weed. Yea hes already really weird and he carries this huge boot knife with him. well he decided it would be funny to cut himself. He did and it was very fucking deep i could almost see the bone. after practically putting him in the car he went to the emergency room. where he proceeded to tell us and the doctor he would take extra vitamins and by the next day it would heal. He has 7 stiches. Just when things start looking up for us to come home another fucking hurricane is coming. I mean fuck give us a break. So we said fuck it we arent leaving we went and stocked up on food and water and alcohol and road the storm out at our apartment. The night it hit we went upstairs to joanna's and hung out with our african american friend greg. Let me tell you about greg he has 3 cellphones and smokes blunts like they are cigarettes he is the definition of pothead. we smoked some insane amount that night like a quarter pound or something insane. i dunno watever i was pretty out of my mind. the next day i realized i was doing all over what i did at lsu for a year. i immediately felt worthless and had to go back to new orleans to work and get my shit back on track.
Conclusion: The return to New Orleans
Last night we had one final bash at our place....the girls came up it was a kickin time. Today we got up cleaned i brought chance back to his dads in broussard. Alex and i loaded up the car and waved goodbye to our humble abode. this ended our stay in lafayette and our time as refugees. we are now finally back in the real world.