[SMUT Filter] SasuSaku "Erebus"
Well, here I am again, posting another lemon for The Church of Lemons. ♥ It's strange but I realized the other day that the only time I write SasuSaku is for The Church, which is rather odd when you think about it. In any case, let me tell that I'm extremely nervous about this particular fic. Mostly because it's set post time skip but it's AU, meaning it's a different first meeting between Sasuke and Sakura after he left the village. And also, of course, because writing SasuSaku always scares me to death, I kid you not. They're one of those pairings that I absolutely adore so I hate to mess them up with my fumbling attempts at writing them. I hope I didn't do it too badly this time.
Thanks goes to white_ookami for betaing for me and doing a supreme job, and to lemonyloyce for being my cheerleader. ♥ I also have to thank Balligomingo's awesome CD "Beneath the Surface". It's p0rn on a disc, my friends, and as such, this fic was written to one of the songs.
Theme Song: "Marrooned" - Balligomingo [DOWNLOAD]
Title: Erebus
Series/Pairing: Naruto, SasuSaku, cameos by Neji & Tenten
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Post timeskip, AU
Word Count: 4,463
Save me
I am all alone
and I can't see
Save me from emotion
Save me from emotion
Save me Erebus
"You've changed," she said, meaning more than the pale clothes and his added height. He lifted his eyes, the only darkness in that colorless room, and his glance cut through her like a knife. Even weaponless, he could still hurt her.
"So have you," he answered.
"It doesn't seem right," she said later, almost thoughtlessly. Her gaze was on the door in front of her, her fingers tracing the paper seals around the frame. Behind her, Hyuuga Neji snorted softly.
"Right? If I had not already closed most of his tenketsu you would not be standing here now."
She dropped her hand and turned slightly, catching the full power of Neji's irritated stare. He thought she was being sentimental, foolish, and in truth she had not meant to voice the thought aloud. The subject of Sasuke seemed almost too private to talk about with anyone other than Naruto, and even he was not privy to all her feelings concerning him. The Hyuuga, despite his current role as Sasuke's guard, could not possibly understand what Sasuke's capture meant to the teammates he had left behind.
"He would not have attacked me," she replied, quietly convinced. Neji crossed his arms.
"No, he would have used you as a hostage in order to get his freedom."
She wanted to argue, to say that it was impossible, but she had felt the flare of Sasuke's incredible chakra and knew that there was very little Sasuke was incapable of. He would have hurt her, given the chance and the full use of his power, but never to kill. Never that. She still believed in him, after all this time.
She wanted to laugh at herself.
Neji was right, she was foolish. The fact of the matter was that she would never know what Sasuke might have done because Neji was keeping him from using his chakra. With that sort of handicap, Sakura alone was more than a match for Orochimaru's next host. She shuddered a little at the thought and tried not to imagine the feel of snakes sliding over her skin.
"Naruto will want to see him," she said, after a moment, knowing Neji would see her change of subject for what it was - an escape. He went along with it, though, and she sent him a silent thanks. Neji, too, had changed.
"Then tell him to come. There will be no more visitors after nightfall."
She stayed outside when Naruto went into Sasuke's cell, the door closing behind him and sealing with a hiss. There were no windows for her to watch through and the walls were too thick for her to hear anything. Neither of these things bothered Neji, who merely activated his Byakugan in order to keep tabs on the prisoner. Sakura, however, was left to wait alone, leaning against the wall as the minutes dragged by.
Were they arguing? Was Sasuke even speaking? He had not said much to her but then she hadn't really said anything herself. Naruto, however, was never one to keep quiet, and he had had years to build up what he wanted to say.
She watched Neji after awhile, trying to discern what was happening within the cell by reading his facial expressions. Unfortunately, the Hyuuga's face was a blank slate, his white eyes giving nothing away. His body did tense once, however, as if on the verge of movement, but he eventually relaxed, apparently deciding the situation did not warrant his interruption. Sakura's heart remained in her throat until the seals on the door deactivated and Naruto came out.
She straightened and he walked right up to her and then by her, making her turn to watch his back, both a little hurt and incredulous. Her voice reflected both.
"Naruto?"
He paused, his gaze riveted on the stone floor. "That's not Sasuke," he said, and kept walking.
Sakura was the pupil of the best medical ninja in the Fire Country, so it was not hard to learn that the Byakugan had weaknesses. What they were, however, was not always clear, even in the oldest of the books she could find. Sitting in the library, thumbing through accounts of long-ago battles, she struggled with both her guilt and her determination. She needed to talk to Sasuke, preferably without Neji's all-knowing gaze watching her every move. As long as they were being observed, Sasuke would never reveal anything to her and she knew, she knew, if she just had a chance she could...
Could what? she taunted herself, Change his mind about Orochimaru? About letting himself be a puppet for the power it gave him? Change him?
"No," she said aloud, turning another dog-eared page. "But I could give him the chance to change himself."
To do that, however, she was going to have commit an act of treachery against a fellow shinobi, and the idea left a stale taste in her mouth. She could see of no other way. The Hyuuga had taken custody of Sasuke, their Gentle Fist techniques capable of rendering him powerless. Even if it was not Neji, it would be another white-eyed family member, perhaps even Hinata herself...
Sakura threw the book across the room.
Then she pulled her knees to her chest and wept bitterly.
She went to see him, again under Neji's watchful eye.
He was standing this time and, as the door sealed behind her, she was acutely aware of how much he had grown. There was still a certain boyishness in his cheeks and smooth, hairless skin of his chest but the way he looked at her, his presence somehow making her feel quite small - such was not the ability of a child.
And she wondered if, in those dark eyes, he saw Sakura, the girl, or Sakura, the young woman.
"You again?" His tone was dismissive but he did not look away.
"I came to take a look at you," she said, and when he said nothing, she elaborated, "I'm a medic now, and disrupting or halting the flow of chakra can have its effects on the rest of your system."
This time he did turn his face away. "Don't bother, I'm fine."
"Really?" She arched an eyebrow and motioned to the small, angry circles on his arms almost hidden by the loose fabric of his sleeves, evidence of closed tenketsu. "In any case, I've been ordered."
For a moment she thought he wouldn't give in, but then he turned to face her and she almost sighed with relief. She would not have forced him, but it appeared he didn't know that.
Regulating her breathing, she lifted her right hand and placed a glowing palm against the middle of his chest, a pleasant jolt running through her at the feel of his bare skin. A second later she ruthlessly squashed the feeling, slightly horrified at herself. She was not a little girl anymore, she was a skilled kunoichi and this... this man was a prisoner, a patient.
Sakura struggled for detachment and closed her eyes.
She sent her own chakra whirling through him, dampering bruises and aches and healing cuts. There were beginning signs of stress on his organs from the constant restraint on his chakra, but nothing threatening. She fixed what she could and opened her eyes, finding Sasuke watching her intently. It was little disconcerting considering how close they were and she took her hand away.
"Better?"
He nodded once, still watching her. Feeling suddenly skittish, she reached out and brushed a hand against his irritated arm. "I can get rid of these... if you want?" She wasn't sure why she made it a question, but felt her heart glow a little when he lifted his arm in silent permission.
She had only to run her hand down the length of his arm to smooth away the visible signs of his chakra manipulation. When she was done, he lifted his other arm and she did the same to that one. Finished, she started to take a step back but Sasuke's hand suddenly captured her wrist, halting her in place. She froze, green eyes wide and heart racing as, without a word, he turned and shrugged his arms out his sleeves, letting the fabric of his shirt fall past his waist.
His back was covered with red circles.
She felt tears in her eyes as she lifted trembling fingers to his back, sending a gentle wave of chakra over his skin with her movements. He bowed his head as she worked, unconsciously surrendering to her, and suddenly she couldn't stand it, couldn't stand the idea that he was there, in that cell, that somewhere his forehead protector had a line through it, that they were all suffering because...because...
"Why?" she choked, hands stilling against him. "Why do you have to...?"
Sasuke shrugged back into his sleeves slowly. His voice came to her with a roughness she remembered from so long ago. "Why are you crying for a traitor?"
"Because I choose to," she said immediately, wiping impatiently at her tears. Sasuke turned and his expression was so settled, so unchangeable, she felt her heart break.
His hand came up and he wiped away a tear with the back of his knuckles.
"Because I choose to," he echoed.
After a night of fitful sleep, Sakura rose early and went straight to a wooded area outside the gates of the village, lengthing her stride as she began to see targets hung every few feet. The place was a well known training ground for Team Gai and, if the kunai in each bulls-eye was any indication, at least one of its members was in attendance that morning.
The trees widened out into a clearing further in and Sakura paused on the edge of it, suddenly unsure of herself. Even if she did learn what she wanted to know, was she really going to go through with it? Even if it was for only a short while, Sasuke would be without a guard and paper seals would do little to stop Orochimaru. What if the Sound attacked at that moment? She could be putting the whole village in danger.
She shook her head. The whole village was in danger. Just by holding Sasuke they made themselves a target. The twisted Sannin would come for his prized possession eventually. It was only a matter of time before the streets were filled with fighting.
"Sakura, what are you doing here?"
Sakura blinked, startled from her thoughts to find Tenten standing a few feet away, watching her curiously. The older girl had an unraveled scroll in her hands, the paper flowing over one shoulder and pooling on the ground. Sakura had no idea what it was for, if it was one of those that Tenten often summoned weapons from, but the size of it was certainly impressive.
"Uh... is Lee here? I... had a question for him."
It was Tenten's turn to blink. "Lee?" Her expression grew pointed and Sakura forced herself to smile. Tenten was bit protective of Lee, especially where Sakura was concerned. "He had to leave last night with Gai-sensei, a last minute mission for Tsunade-sama. They're not due back for several days."
"Oh... I see." She shifted slightly on her feet, wondering how best to proceed. She had really hoped to ask Lee, his rivalry with Neji was legendary and if anyone knew of a way to get around Neji's Byakugan, it would be him. Still, she knew Tenten and Neji trained together, the other girl might know as well. But how to get her to talk about it? With Lee, she had planned on just coming out and asking, but Tenten would not be so easily led off target.
Sakura felt a pang of guilt at her own thoughts. Here she was, plotting how best to trick a fellow kunoichi and the sun had barely risen. What might she do before the day was over?
It wasn't right.
Sakura took a step back. "I'm sorry to bother you then, I'll just speak with him when he gets back." She turned to go, but Tenten's call stopped her, her stomach clenching with the fear that the weapons master had seen right through her.
"I'll go back with you," Tenten was saying, walking over to her as she rolled up her scroll. "Neji's at the security compound this morning and he asked me to bring him some tea." Her smile was amused. "I think he just didn't like the idea of me getting stronger without him."
Sakura closed her eyes briefly. It really couldn't be that simple, could it?
"If you want," she offered hesitantly, "I'll do it for you. You look like you're in the middle of a practice and... I was going there anyway." There was no need to say why, Tenten was sure to understand.
Sure enough, the kunoichi gave her a sympathetic look that Sakura had to look away from. "Really? Well, if you're going anyway..." Tenten brightened. "Tell Neji I'll see him when his shift's over."
Sakura started walking. "I will," she replied quietly, "I will."
Neji took the tea from her without question.
She didn't know why she had thought it would be otherwise. Why would he not trust her? She was an upstanding student, pupil to the Hokage herself. Any other time it would have been laughable to even think she would drug someone's tea and break into a cell holding a dangerous missing-nin.
Oh so laughable, she thought sadly as Neji handed her the empty cup.
It would take at least five minutes for him to feel the effects.
Sasuke was slumped against the wall when she entered. There was nothing in the cell for him to sit on, no furniture at all, actually, as anything could be used as a weapon. He might have been asleep in that position, back against the wall, one knee drawn up, except that his eyes followed her as she came forward, black and hazy.
She drew in a breath. "What happened?" She knelt by his side, unable to keep her fingers from brushing the hair back from his face to get a better look at him.
"Just doing his job," he replied, his voice sounding a bit odd. There was a smirk on his face with the same arrogant tilt she was familiar with. Sakura frowned.
"Who was?"
But then she saw the angry red sores on his arm and disappearing under his collar. Neji must have reclosed some of his tenketsu again that morning and, from the looks of things, Sasuke's system was definitely starting to suffer. She breezed a hand against his collarbone and held his gaze as she went about her work, her chakra straightening and smoothing away the kinks his repressed energy was causing. When she was done, she was sure five minutes had passed, and Sasuke's glance was a bit clearer.
"Take off your shirt," she commanded quietly, and was briefly surprised when he did so without hesitation. Part of her wanted to think it was a sign that he trusted her, but her logical side told her it was only because he knew she could help him.
Once again she moved her palms over his back and the reddened skin turned healthy again, taking away all signs of his imprisonment.
"You're a fool, Sakura."
It was so soft, she almost didn't hear it, her hands pausing just under his shoulder blades. "What?"
He turned and caught both of her wrists, staring down at her with an unreadable look she hadn't seen before. "Naruto said you still loved me." He breathed out, almost a snort, "You're such a fool, Sakura."
She almost didn't hear his words over the sound of her name. She hadn't heard it from him in years and it sounded so different now, as if it wasn't really her name at all.
Sakura found she could barely breathe.
"Stop it, Sasuke," she said, and she saw his eyes widen a little, though his grip on her arms only intensified. Sasuke, she realized, not Sasuke-kun. "If anyone is the fool here, it's you," she went on, a trifle breathless, "Just because I love you, doesn't mean I forgive you. And just because I don't forgive you, doesn't mean I'm giving up." Her voice strengthened, her green eyes flashing at him as she gained nerve. "You've always thought that my feelings for you were a weakness, my weakness, but I think it's yours, too, because you can't forget about it, can you?" She pushed back against him but he held on, only allowing her to move them back a step. "There's no guard outside your cell, Sasuke, there's no one here but you and I, so can you do it? Can you kill someone who loves you? Can you?"
She was almost shouting at him, tears in her lashes as she unleashed her temper. She almost wanted him to do it, to prove her wrong, then she could stop loving him, stop chasing after him.
Stop trying to save him when she knew it was impossible.
His hands moved from her wrists to her shoulders, fingers digging painfully into her skin as he shook her once, almost jerking her off her feet.
"I can kill you," he growled, and shook her again. "I can kill you." But already she could see that he was trying to convince himself and she sobbed aloud, ignoring his painful hold on her to put a hand to his cheek, her vision blurry.
"And this is why I still love you."
A sound, a word, rumbled in his throat and then she was suddenly pushed hard against the opposite wall with Sasuke's mouth on hers, his kiss as bruising as his grip. She let him do as he pleased, opening her mouth against his demands as he pressed himself against her. He released her shoulders in order to grip her hair, pulling on it to force her head back, baring her throat to his teeth and tongue. His other hand went to her waist, trapping her against him.
Sakura could not stop her heart from racing, nor the small whimpers that escaped her from his assault. This was Sasuke, her Sasuke, and her arms came up to wrap around his neck.
That's not Sasuke, Naruto's voice mentally reminded her.
Crushed in Sasuke's embrace, she nodded to the memory. I know, I know. He's changed. Her breath hitched as his hand slid under her shirt. We've both changed. She turned her face into his neck. But that is the way of things. That's life. We go on.
She didn't know how they made it to the floor, but seconds later she was lying back on Sasuke's discarded kimono, the fabric crumpling as Sasuke's body covered hers. For a moment they locked gazes, both of them breathing raggedly, and then Sakura leaned up to kiss him sweetly, a reversal from their previous passion. He returned it after a moment, almost hesitant now that anger was fading. But one hand soon found it's way to her hair again, the other resuming it's trek up her ribs.
She arched a little for him, allowing him to push her shirt over her head and throw it to the side. A breath of cool air made her shiver slightly, her body only warming when she saw the look Sasuke was giving her. An instant later the rest of her clothes followed her shirt and Sakura lost herself in the feel of skin on skin.
It was not what she might have imagined in the young years of her girlhood. Sasuke's hands were rough and he never said her name, not even when she spread her legs for him, surrendering, and he kicked off his pants to join with her in one quick thrust. But he did look directly into her eyes as he moved over her and it was she that broke the connection to throw her head back, her mouth open in a soundless squeal.
They rocked together for what seemed like hours, the heat between them flaring like a bonfire, and Sakura would have accused Sasuke of boosting his endurance with chakra if she hadn't known that he didn't have access to any. She raked her blunt nails down his back as one particular, angled thrust had her coming off the ground, green eyes wide and glazed with desire. Sasuke grunted near her ear, his breathing hard and fast, and he bent his head, his forehead almost touching her shoulder as their rythym increased.
Sakura wound a hand through his dark hair, simultanously holding him there and soothing him with quick strokes of her fingers to his neck. She was overwhelmed by the sensation of their moving bodies, the sweaty slap of skin, the hard muscles in Sasuke's arms that corded with effort. Already she could not grasp how they had come to this, what she would do when it was over. Her mind was filled only with Sasuke's smoky gaze and the way his lips ghosted over her breasts until her vision whirled.
They grew reckless with need, their tempo speeding up until Sakura could no longer follow, thrusting up against him with abandon as he surged into her. And every time she cried out, almost sobbing with pleasure, her arms locked around his shoulders. Sasuke barely made a sound, seemingly in control except that his eyes were shut tightly and the fingers tangled in her pink hair brushed her temple now and then.
Sakura was the first to shudder, her body rising as she clamped around him, a strangled squeal escaping from clenched teeth. She let her head fall back, staring blankly at the ceiling even as Sasuke kept her body pressed against his, continuing to move in and out of her until he too shuddered, suddenly burying his face in the slick curve of her neck as he came.
Warmth spilled into her and she sighed with contentment, threading shaky hands through his hair as he collapsed on top of her. She could feel his heart thundering against her breast and she murmured to him, meaningless words that he probably didn't hear and wouldn't remember anyway.
For those few, precious minutes they lay together on the floor of his cell, Sakura had her heaven. A utopia where there was no Orochimaru or curse seals, no murdered family, no broken team - just a man and a woman who remembered nothing of the outside world. And into that perfect stillness, Sakura whispered the single truth of her life, the one that could both make her and break her.
"I love you."
The world ceased it's spinning. Sasuke shifted and moved up onto his elbows enough to look down at her, the ends of his hair tickling her cheeks.
"Sakura," he said, and her heart tightened. His fingers were moving down her neck and his eyes - they were dark, oh so dark, but not empty. "I'm sorry," he said, and her head and shoulders froze as he hit several nerves in her neck in rapid succession. She didn't have time to blink or think, her vision already fading into black when she felt his hand on the side of her face and his voice in her ear.
"And thank you."
She woke fully dressed with Sasuke's kimono wrapped around her shoulders.
The cell was quiet and she guessed she had not been out long or surely someone would have been there, barking orders for the escaped prisoner to be found immediately. The once sealed door had been broken open from the inside, torn bits of paper littering the floor at her feet. She had no idea how he'd done it except that perhaps, somehow, their love-making had reopened his chakra circuits in the ensuring flood of adrenaline. Whatever the method, Sasuke had managed to leave her behind once again.
Closing her eyes briefly, she rose on unsteady feet and stumbled out of the cell, almost tripping over Neji's prone body. Worry shot though her but she found him to be unhurt, simply unconscious, though it seemed Sasuke had hit him in the back of the head if the bump there was any indication. Why, she couldn't imagine, as she knew her tea would have kept him asleep for over an hour.
Unless Sasuke had been trying to protect her. Her chest ached. He'd certainly done a fine job of making it look like he'd overpowered them both. She could almost feel the bruises starting to form on her neck.
"Oh, Sasuke," she whispered, and wondered if it was possible to feel both pride and grief at once.
Sakura spent an hour being questioned by ANBU, along with Neji who had awakened with a headache and a very bad temper. She told them what they wanted to hear, that she had come to visit Sasuke but that he must have found a way to access his chakra because he'd overpowered her and broken out, surprising Neji with a blow to the head.
It sounded believeable to everyone but the Hyuuga.
"The Byakugan cannot be easily fooled, especially by a weakened captive. I would have seen him coming," Neji snapped, apparently having trouble reconciling the fact that an Uchiha had somehow gotten the better of him. "Not to mention I sealed his chakra again myself when I came on duty."
"Who knows what things Sasuke learned in the Sound?" Tenten argued reasonably. She had come to meet Neji for their daily training to find the prison compound in complete chaos. "It's possible he knows all sorts of forbidden techniques." Neji scoffed, still irritated. "Besides," Tenten went on, ignoring the way her teammate was glaring at her, "you said yourself you don't remember much of what happened."
Neji rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"Head wounds, especially concussions, often cause memory loss immediately preceeding the incident," Sakura put in, speaking one of her lessons by rote, "It might be that we will never know exactly what happened here."
Tenten nodded in agreement but Neji's gaze grew sharp.
Sakura turned her head and pretended not to notice.
That night, Sakura sat by her window with Sasuke's shirt over her knees, her head against the glass, and made a choice.
"I'm not giving up on you."
She smiled slightly, tremulously.
Because I choose not to.
THE END.
I am on my own
and I can't be the same
Save me from emotion
Save me from emotion
Save me
Comments are always appreciated. I'm going to go pass out now.
Thanks goes to white_ookami for betaing for me and doing a supreme job, and to lemonyloyce for being my cheerleader. ♥ I also have to thank Balligomingo's awesome CD "Beneath the Surface". It's p0rn on a disc, my friends, and as such, this fic was written to one of the songs.
Theme Song: "Marrooned" - Balligomingo [DOWNLOAD]
Title: Erebus
Series/Pairing: Naruto, SasuSaku, cameos by Neji & Tenten
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Post timeskip, AU
Word Count: 4,463
Save me
I am all alone
and I can't see
Save me from emotion
Save me from emotion
Save me Erebus
"You've changed," she said, meaning more than the pale clothes and his added height. He lifted his eyes, the only darkness in that colorless room, and his glance cut through her like a knife. Even weaponless, he could still hurt her.
"So have you," he answered.
"It doesn't seem right," she said later, almost thoughtlessly. Her gaze was on the door in front of her, her fingers tracing the paper seals around the frame. Behind her, Hyuuga Neji snorted softly.
"Right? If I had not already closed most of his tenketsu you would not be standing here now."
She dropped her hand and turned slightly, catching the full power of Neji's irritated stare. He thought she was being sentimental, foolish, and in truth she had not meant to voice the thought aloud. The subject of Sasuke seemed almost too private to talk about with anyone other than Naruto, and even he was not privy to all her feelings concerning him. The Hyuuga, despite his current role as Sasuke's guard, could not possibly understand what Sasuke's capture meant to the teammates he had left behind.
"He would not have attacked me," she replied, quietly convinced. Neji crossed his arms.
"No, he would have used you as a hostage in order to get his freedom."
She wanted to argue, to say that it was impossible, but she had felt the flare of Sasuke's incredible chakra and knew that there was very little Sasuke was incapable of. He would have hurt her, given the chance and the full use of his power, but never to kill. Never that. She still believed in him, after all this time.
She wanted to laugh at herself.
Neji was right, she was foolish. The fact of the matter was that she would never know what Sasuke might have done because Neji was keeping him from using his chakra. With that sort of handicap, Sakura alone was more than a match for Orochimaru's next host. She shuddered a little at the thought and tried not to imagine the feel of snakes sliding over her skin.
"Naruto will want to see him," she said, after a moment, knowing Neji would see her change of subject for what it was - an escape. He went along with it, though, and she sent him a silent thanks. Neji, too, had changed.
"Then tell him to come. There will be no more visitors after nightfall."
She stayed outside when Naruto went into Sasuke's cell, the door closing behind him and sealing with a hiss. There were no windows for her to watch through and the walls were too thick for her to hear anything. Neither of these things bothered Neji, who merely activated his Byakugan in order to keep tabs on the prisoner. Sakura, however, was left to wait alone, leaning against the wall as the minutes dragged by.
Were they arguing? Was Sasuke even speaking? He had not said much to her but then she hadn't really said anything herself. Naruto, however, was never one to keep quiet, and he had had years to build up what he wanted to say.
She watched Neji after awhile, trying to discern what was happening within the cell by reading his facial expressions. Unfortunately, the Hyuuga's face was a blank slate, his white eyes giving nothing away. His body did tense once, however, as if on the verge of movement, but he eventually relaxed, apparently deciding the situation did not warrant his interruption. Sakura's heart remained in her throat until the seals on the door deactivated and Naruto came out.
She straightened and he walked right up to her and then by her, making her turn to watch his back, both a little hurt and incredulous. Her voice reflected both.
"Naruto?"
He paused, his gaze riveted on the stone floor. "That's not Sasuke," he said, and kept walking.
Sakura was the pupil of the best medical ninja in the Fire Country, so it was not hard to learn that the Byakugan had weaknesses. What they were, however, was not always clear, even in the oldest of the books she could find. Sitting in the library, thumbing through accounts of long-ago battles, she struggled with both her guilt and her determination. She needed to talk to Sasuke, preferably without Neji's all-knowing gaze watching her every move. As long as they were being observed, Sasuke would never reveal anything to her and she knew, she knew, if she just had a chance she could...
Could what? she taunted herself, Change his mind about Orochimaru? About letting himself be a puppet for the power it gave him? Change him?
"No," she said aloud, turning another dog-eared page. "But I could give him the chance to change himself."
To do that, however, she was going to have commit an act of treachery against a fellow shinobi, and the idea left a stale taste in her mouth. She could see of no other way. The Hyuuga had taken custody of Sasuke, their Gentle Fist techniques capable of rendering him powerless. Even if it was not Neji, it would be another white-eyed family member, perhaps even Hinata herself...
Sakura threw the book across the room.
Then she pulled her knees to her chest and wept bitterly.
She went to see him, again under Neji's watchful eye.
He was standing this time and, as the door sealed behind her, she was acutely aware of how much he had grown. There was still a certain boyishness in his cheeks and smooth, hairless skin of his chest but the way he looked at her, his presence somehow making her feel quite small - such was not the ability of a child.
And she wondered if, in those dark eyes, he saw Sakura, the girl, or Sakura, the young woman.
"You again?" His tone was dismissive but he did not look away.
"I came to take a look at you," she said, and when he said nothing, she elaborated, "I'm a medic now, and disrupting or halting the flow of chakra can have its effects on the rest of your system."
This time he did turn his face away. "Don't bother, I'm fine."
"Really?" She arched an eyebrow and motioned to the small, angry circles on his arms almost hidden by the loose fabric of his sleeves, evidence of closed tenketsu. "In any case, I've been ordered."
For a moment she thought he wouldn't give in, but then he turned to face her and she almost sighed with relief. She would not have forced him, but it appeared he didn't know that.
Regulating her breathing, she lifted her right hand and placed a glowing palm against the middle of his chest, a pleasant jolt running through her at the feel of his bare skin. A second later she ruthlessly squashed the feeling, slightly horrified at herself. She was not a little girl anymore, she was a skilled kunoichi and this... this man was a prisoner, a patient.
Sakura struggled for detachment and closed her eyes.
She sent her own chakra whirling through him, dampering bruises and aches and healing cuts. There were beginning signs of stress on his organs from the constant restraint on his chakra, but nothing threatening. She fixed what she could and opened her eyes, finding Sasuke watching her intently. It was little disconcerting considering how close they were and she took her hand away.
"Better?"
He nodded once, still watching her. Feeling suddenly skittish, she reached out and brushed a hand against his irritated arm. "I can get rid of these... if you want?" She wasn't sure why she made it a question, but felt her heart glow a little when he lifted his arm in silent permission.
She had only to run her hand down the length of his arm to smooth away the visible signs of his chakra manipulation. When she was done, he lifted his other arm and she did the same to that one. Finished, she started to take a step back but Sasuke's hand suddenly captured her wrist, halting her in place. She froze, green eyes wide and heart racing as, without a word, he turned and shrugged his arms out his sleeves, letting the fabric of his shirt fall past his waist.
His back was covered with red circles.
She felt tears in her eyes as she lifted trembling fingers to his back, sending a gentle wave of chakra over his skin with her movements. He bowed his head as she worked, unconsciously surrendering to her, and suddenly she couldn't stand it, couldn't stand the idea that he was there, in that cell, that somewhere his forehead protector had a line through it, that they were all suffering because...because...
"Why?" she choked, hands stilling against him. "Why do you have to...?"
Sasuke shrugged back into his sleeves slowly. His voice came to her with a roughness she remembered from so long ago. "Why are you crying for a traitor?"
"Because I choose to," she said immediately, wiping impatiently at her tears. Sasuke turned and his expression was so settled, so unchangeable, she felt her heart break.
His hand came up and he wiped away a tear with the back of his knuckles.
"Because I choose to," he echoed.
After a night of fitful sleep, Sakura rose early and went straight to a wooded area outside the gates of the village, lengthing her stride as she began to see targets hung every few feet. The place was a well known training ground for Team Gai and, if the kunai in each bulls-eye was any indication, at least one of its members was in attendance that morning.
The trees widened out into a clearing further in and Sakura paused on the edge of it, suddenly unsure of herself. Even if she did learn what she wanted to know, was she really going to go through with it? Even if it was for only a short while, Sasuke would be without a guard and paper seals would do little to stop Orochimaru. What if the Sound attacked at that moment? She could be putting the whole village in danger.
She shook her head. The whole village was in danger. Just by holding Sasuke they made themselves a target. The twisted Sannin would come for his prized possession eventually. It was only a matter of time before the streets were filled with fighting.
"Sakura, what are you doing here?"
Sakura blinked, startled from her thoughts to find Tenten standing a few feet away, watching her curiously. The older girl had an unraveled scroll in her hands, the paper flowing over one shoulder and pooling on the ground. Sakura had no idea what it was for, if it was one of those that Tenten often summoned weapons from, but the size of it was certainly impressive.
"Uh... is Lee here? I... had a question for him."
It was Tenten's turn to blink. "Lee?" Her expression grew pointed and Sakura forced herself to smile. Tenten was bit protective of Lee, especially where Sakura was concerned. "He had to leave last night with Gai-sensei, a last minute mission for Tsunade-sama. They're not due back for several days."
"Oh... I see." She shifted slightly on her feet, wondering how best to proceed. She had really hoped to ask Lee, his rivalry with Neji was legendary and if anyone knew of a way to get around Neji's Byakugan, it would be him. Still, she knew Tenten and Neji trained together, the other girl might know as well. But how to get her to talk about it? With Lee, she had planned on just coming out and asking, but Tenten would not be so easily led off target.
Sakura felt a pang of guilt at her own thoughts. Here she was, plotting how best to trick a fellow kunoichi and the sun had barely risen. What might she do before the day was over?
It wasn't right.
Sakura took a step back. "I'm sorry to bother you then, I'll just speak with him when he gets back." She turned to go, but Tenten's call stopped her, her stomach clenching with the fear that the weapons master had seen right through her.
"I'll go back with you," Tenten was saying, walking over to her as she rolled up her scroll. "Neji's at the security compound this morning and he asked me to bring him some tea." Her smile was amused. "I think he just didn't like the idea of me getting stronger without him."
Sakura closed her eyes briefly. It really couldn't be that simple, could it?
"If you want," she offered hesitantly, "I'll do it for you. You look like you're in the middle of a practice and... I was going there anyway." There was no need to say why, Tenten was sure to understand.
Sure enough, the kunoichi gave her a sympathetic look that Sakura had to look away from. "Really? Well, if you're going anyway..." Tenten brightened. "Tell Neji I'll see him when his shift's over."
Sakura started walking. "I will," she replied quietly, "I will."
Neji took the tea from her without question.
She didn't know why she had thought it would be otherwise. Why would he not trust her? She was an upstanding student, pupil to the Hokage herself. Any other time it would have been laughable to even think she would drug someone's tea and break into a cell holding a dangerous missing-nin.
Oh so laughable, she thought sadly as Neji handed her the empty cup.
It would take at least five minutes for him to feel the effects.
Sasuke was slumped against the wall when she entered. There was nothing in the cell for him to sit on, no furniture at all, actually, as anything could be used as a weapon. He might have been asleep in that position, back against the wall, one knee drawn up, except that his eyes followed her as she came forward, black and hazy.
She drew in a breath. "What happened?" She knelt by his side, unable to keep her fingers from brushing the hair back from his face to get a better look at him.
"Just doing his job," he replied, his voice sounding a bit odd. There was a smirk on his face with the same arrogant tilt she was familiar with. Sakura frowned.
"Who was?"
But then she saw the angry red sores on his arm and disappearing under his collar. Neji must have reclosed some of his tenketsu again that morning and, from the looks of things, Sasuke's system was definitely starting to suffer. She breezed a hand against his collarbone and held his gaze as she went about her work, her chakra straightening and smoothing away the kinks his repressed energy was causing. When she was done, she was sure five minutes had passed, and Sasuke's glance was a bit clearer.
"Take off your shirt," she commanded quietly, and was briefly surprised when he did so without hesitation. Part of her wanted to think it was a sign that he trusted her, but her logical side told her it was only because he knew she could help him.
Once again she moved her palms over his back and the reddened skin turned healthy again, taking away all signs of his imprisonment.
"You're a fool, Sakura."
It was so soft, she almost didn't hear it, her hands pausing just under his shoulder blades. "What?"
He turned and caught both of her wrists, staring down at her with an unreadable look she hadn't seen before. "Naruto said you still loved me." He breathed out, almost a snort, "You're such a fool, Sakura."
She almost didn't hear his words over the sound of her name. She hadn't heard it from him in years and it sounded so different now, as if it wasn't really her name at all.
Sakura found she could barely breathe.
"Stop it, Sasuke," she said, and she saw his eyes widen a little, though his grip on her arms only intensified. Sasuke, she realized, not Sasuke-kun. "If anyone is the fool here, it's you," she went on, a trifle breathless, "Just because I love you, doesn't mean I forgive you. And just because I don't forgive you, doesn't mean I'm giving up." Her voice strengthened, her green eyes flashing at him as she gained nerve. "You've always thought that my feelings for you were a weakness, my weakness, but I think it's yours, too, because you can't forget about it, can you?" She pushed back against him but he held on, only allowing her to move them back a step. "There's no guard outside your cell, Sasuke, there's no one here but you and I, so can you do it? Can you kill someone who loves you? Can you?"
She was almost shouting at him, tears in her lashes as she unleashed her temper. She almost wanted him to do it, to prove her wrong, then she could stop loving him, stop chasing after him.
Stop trying to save him when she knew it was impossible.
His hands moved from her wrists to her shoulders, fingers digging painfully into her skin as he shook her once, almost jerking her off her feet.
"I can kill you," he growled, and shook her again. "I can kill you." But already she could see that he was trying to convince himself and she sobbed aloud, ignoring his painful hold on her to put a hand to his cheek, her vision blurry.
"And this is why I still love you."
A sound, a word, rumbled in his throat and then she was suddenly pushed hard against the opposite wall with Sasuke's mouth on hers, his kiss as bruising as his grip. She let him do as he pleased, opening her mouth against his demands as he pressed himself against her. He released her shoulders in order to grip her hair, pulling on it to force her head back, baring her throat to his teeth and tongue. His other hand went to her waist, trapping her against him.
Sakura could not stop her heart from racing, nor the small whimpers that escaped her from his assault. This was Sasuke, her Sasuke, and her arms came up to wrap around his neck.
That's not Sasuke, Naruto's voice mentally reminded her.
Crushed in Sasuke's embrace, she nodded to the memory. I know, I know. He's changed. Her breath hitched as his hand slid under her shirt. We've both changed. She turned her face into his neck. But that is the way of things. That's life. We go on.
She didn't know how they made it to the floor, but seconds later she was lying back on Sasuke's discarded kimono, the fabric crumpling as Sasuke's body covered hers. For a moment they locked gazes, both of them breathing raggedly, and then Sakura leaned up to kiss him sweetly, a reversal from their previous passion. He returned it after a moment, almost hesitant now that anger was fading. But one hand soon found it's way to her hair again, the other resuming it's trek up her ribs.
She arched a little for him, allowing him to push her shirt over her head and throw it to the side. A breath of cool air made her shiver slightly, her body only warming when she saw the look Sasuke was giving her. An instant later the rest of her clothes followed her shirt and Sakura lost herself in the feel of skin on skin.
It was not what she might have imagined in the young years of her girlhood. Sasuke's hands were rough and he never said her name, not even when she spread her legs for him, surrendering, and he kicked off his pants to join with her in one quick thrust. But he did look directly into her eyes as he moved over her and it was she that broke the connection to throw her head back, her mouth open in a soundless squeal.
They rocked together for what seemed like hours, the heat between them flaring like a bonfire, and Sakura would have accused Sasuke of boosting his endurance with chakra if she hadn't known that he didn't have access to any. She raked her blunt nails down his back as one particular, angled thrust had her coming off the ground, green eyes wide and glazed with desire. Sasuke grunted near her ear, his breathing hard and fast, and he bent his head, his forehead almost touching her shoulder as their rythym increased.
Sakura wound a hand through his dark hair, simultanously holding him there and soothing him with quick strokes of her fingers to his neck. She was overwhelmed by the sensation of their moving bodies, the sweaty slap of skin, the hard muscles in Sasuke's arms that corded with effort. Already she could not grasp how they had come to this, what she would do when it was over. Her mind was filled only with Sasuke's smoky gaze and the way his lips ghosted over her breasts until her vision whirled.
They grew reckless with need, their tempo speeding up until Sakura could no longer follow, thrusting up against him with abandon as he surged into her. And every time she cried out, almost sobbing with pleasure, her arms locked around his shoulders. Sasuke barely made a sound, seemingly in control except that his eyes were shut tightly and the fingers tangled in her pink hair brushed her temple now and then.
Sakura was the first to shudder, her body rising as she clamped around him, a strangled squeal escaping from clenched teeth. She let her head fall back, staring blankly at the ceiling even as Sasuke kept her body pressed against his, continuing to move in and out of her until he too shuddered, suddenly burying his face in the slick curve of her neck as he came.
Warmth spilled into her and she sighed with contentment, threading shaky hands through his hair as he collapsed on top of her. She could feel his heart thundering against her breast and she murmured to him, meaningless words that he probably didn't hear and wouldn't remember anyway.
For those few, precious minutes they lay together on the floor of his cell, Sakura had her heaven. A utopia where there was no Orochimaru or curse seals, no murdered family, no broken team - just a man and a woman who remembered nothing of the outside world. And into that perfect stillness, Sakura whispered the single truth of her life, the one that could both make her and break her.
"I love you."
The world ceased it's spinning. Sasuke shifted and moved up onto his elbows enough to look down at her, the ends of his hair tickling her cheeks.
"Sakura," he said, and her heart tightened. His fingers were moving down her neck and his eyes - they were dark, oh so dark, but not empty. "I'm sorry," he said, and her head and shoulders froze as he hit several nerves in her neck in rapid succession. She didn't have time to blink or think, her vision already fading into black when she felt his hand on the side of her face and his voice in her ear.
"And thank you."
She woke fully dressed with Sasuke's kimono wrapped around her shoulders.
The cell was quiet and she guessed she had not been out long or surely someone would have been there, barking orders for the escaped prisoner to be found immediately. The once sealed door had been broken open from the inside, torn bits of paper littering the floor at her feet. She had no idea how he'd done it except that perhaps, somehow, their love-making had reopened his chakra circuits in the ensuring flood of adrenaline. Whatever the method, Sasuke had managed to leave her behind once again.
Closing her eyes briefly, she rose on unsteady feet and stumbled out of the cell, almost tripping over Neji's prone body. Worry shot though her but she found him to be unhurt, simply unconscious, though it seemed Sasuke had hit him in the back of the head if the bump there was any indication. Why, she couldn't imagine, as she knew her tea would have kept him asleep for over an hour.
Unless Sasuke had been trying to protect her. Her chest ached. He'd certainly done a fine job of making it look like he'd overpowered them both. She could almost feel the bruises starting to form on her neck.
"Oh, Sasuke," she whispered, and wondered if it was possible to feel both pride and grief at once.
Sakura spent an hour being questioned by ANBU, along with Neji who had awakened with a headache and a very bad temper. She told them what they wanted to hear, that she had come to visit Sasuke but that he must have found a way to access his chakra because he'd overpowered her and broken out, surprising Neji with a blow to the head.
It sounded believeable to everyone but the Hyuuga.
"The Byakugan cannot be easily fooled, especially by a weakened captive. I would have seen him coming," Neji snapped, apparently having trouble reconciling the fact that an Uchiha had somehow gotten the better of him. "Not to mention I sealed his chakra again myself when I came on duty."
"Who knows what things Sasuke learned in the Sound?" Tenten argued reasonably. She had come to meet Neji for their daily training to find the prison compound in complete chaos. "It's possible he knows all sorts of forbidden techniques." Neji scoffed, still irritated. "Besides," Tenten went on, ignoring the way her teammate was glaring at her, "you said yourself you don't remember much of what happened."
Neji rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"Head wounds, especially concussions, often cause memory loss immediately preceeding the incident," Sakura put in, speaking one of her lessons by rote, "It might be that we will never know exactly what happened here."
Tenten nodded in agreement but Neji's gaze grew sharp.
Sakura turned her head and pretended not to notice.
That night, Sakura sat by her window with Sasuke's shirt over her knees, her head against the glass, and made a choice.
"I'm not giving up on you."
She smiled slightly, tremulously.
Because I choose not to.
THE END.
I am on my own
and I can't be the same
Save me from emotion
Save me from emotion
Save me
Comments are always appreciated. I'm going to go pass out now.