Melancholy Molly
Ok so not the most cheery title to begin my musings...this one won't be 'gold" so much...more like a Zatarains Famous Creole Mustard-color.
It will be 3 years at my company and in my house. I'm getting itchy and it ain't cause of my mosquito bites. Is it time for a new adventure already? Why can't the new adventure be like a day trip though and not a life altering change? There are so many reasons to be happy here...but for some reason....
I have heard from other relos (thats real estate industry terminology for people who relocated ...ok its not- I made it up ) that it takes time...more time than we've given it. Time to learn the ways, time for the roots to really take hold, time to meet people and develop friendships. I still can't get past the fact that there IS one place out there that will be an instantaneous connection for us. The same kind of connection with a home and a community that I had with my husband. The instantaneous and palpable kind of connection that let's you know you are exactly where God means you to be. I don't have that here. I didn't have that in my last house either.
There is the other part of me, the Indiana Gabi and The Temple of Hope part that wants to experience as much as possible in this short life. The part that wants to try and live everywhere and learn many cultures and experience how others live. The part that wants to find the best weather (Aruba so far) and the best food (Rockville Center) and the most sensuous feeling (eh hemmm Italy by far!). Most importantly, I want to find the place where my husband and I are the best people we can possibly be, and this is the place that eludes us. We really want to try Grand Junction Colorado....but how do you balance your desire for your own personal best with the need for friends and family? When will we ever be okay with leaving everyone SO VERY far behind.
Of course there are times when I can't get far enough away but other times when the only thing you want is to hang with the person or people that know you the best, the people with which its easy to be you. What a sacrifice! Am I to think I am unique in this feeling? I mean, let's face it I know dozens of people who buy a house and live in it until they die or become too old to maintain it. My department is sending out emails weekly congratulating people on 20, 25 and even 30 years of service with the company! I can't get over that! It's mind blowing to me! In my judgemental haze, it seems like a waste of life.
But maybe all this moving and constant changing is a waste of life too. Always planning and never enjoying. Maybe the change I desperately seek needs to come within and they the outside things will take care of themselves. That's the law of attraction after all, isn't it?
It will be 3 years at my company and in my house. I'm getting itchy and it ain't cause of my mosquito bites. Is it time for a new adventure already? Why can't the new adventure be like a day trip though and not a life altering change? There are so many reasons to be happy here...but for some reason....
I have heard from other relos (thats real estate industry terminology for people who relocated ...ok its not- I made it up ) that it takes time...more time than we've given it. Time to learn the ways, time for the roots to really take hold, time to meet people and develop friendships. I still can't get past the fact that there IS one place out there that will be an instantaneous connection for us. The same kind of connection with a home and a community that I had with my husband. The instantaneous and palpable kind of connection that let's you know you are exactly where God means you to be. I don't have that here. I didn't have that in my last house either.
There is the other part of me, the Indiana Gabi and The Temple of Hope part that wants to experience as much as possible in this short life. The part that wants to try and live everywhere and learn many cultures and experience how others live. The part that wants to find the best weather (Aruba so far) and the best food (Rockville Center) and the most sensuous feeling (eh hemmm Italy by far!). Most importantly, I want to find the place where my husband and I are the best people we can possibly be, and this is the place that eludes us. We really want to try Grand Junction Colorado....but how do you balance your desire for your own personal best with the need for friends and family? When will we ever be okay with leaving everyone SO VERY far behind.
Of course there are times when I can't get far enough away but other times when the only thing you want is to hang with the person or people that know you the best, the people with which its easy to be you. What a sacrifice! Am I to think I am unique in this feeling? I mean, let's face it I know dozens of people who buy a house and live in it until they die or become too old to maintain it. My department is sending out emails weekly congratulating people on 20, 25 and even 30 years of service with the company! I can't get over that! It's mind blowing to me! In my judgemental haze, it seems like a waste of life.
But maybe all this moving and constant changing is a waste of life too. Always planning and never enjoying. Maybe the change I desperately seek needs to come within and they the outside things will take care of themselves. That's the law of attraction after all, isn't it?