private

[gold_into_lead]

I don't care what my parents say about locking my door, there is no way I'm leaving it unlocked anymore. They tell me to keep the latch open when I sleep in case there's a fire but don't they realise that whatever I am could be completely more dangerous than a fire?

What's wrong with me?

I'm so tired. I go to school, come home, fall asleep. And when I'm not sleeping I'm starving. I keep stuffing my face and I'm terrified I'm going to get so fat if I keep this up. I do not want to be some kind of whale. Mum says it's a growth spurt and I'll get over it soon. I better. I keep weighing myself but I'm still the same so far. If anything I'm losing weight. What kind of crazy diet is that?

I think its not a growth spurt though. It's got to do with the other night. It has to be that. I still can't remember what happened to me. But after running into those guys in front of uni the other night I'm having all these really bad thoughts. What if someone drugged me? What if they drugged me and when I passed out they kidnapped me from my home and took me and raped me? I don't want to even think about that! What about all the blood? (I know that some people bleed the first time they have sex but there was way too much even if some jock did drug rape me.)

I hate this. I want to go to the movies with Brandon.