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Being back at school isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I imagined it would be harder than I could think, but it's all just sort of... the same. It's amazing the way your head can trick you into falling into old habits. Strange how I can be running around as a wolf one minute and then talking about OC reruns the next.
The wolf thing has changed. Not the thing itself, cause I guess that's the same. But now it's like when I change I can still remember who I am. Which means I don't try and kill people or anything. Which means in turn that I don't have to lock myself down the end of the yard in the garden shed when I feel like it's going to happen. It's hard though because there's like this wolf-brain in there with my brain and I can't quite tell who's in charge. Sometimes it feels like me and I can make all these proper human choices but sometimes things go crazy.
Sometimes things god crazy. God, I totally change into a wolf. Of course things are crazy! I don't even know how it happened. I mean, all the werewolf books always say you have to get bitten by one of them but I've never even been bitten by a little yappy dog let alone a big wolf thing. Things like this don't just suddenly happen.
I kind of wish I had someone to talk to, but like what would I say? "Hi, sorry I'm like totally humping your leg but it's cause I'm a dog-girl." Yeah right. I don't really see Zach anymore and maybe he was the only one who would have got it, not that I think he really did get it. Because he says he's a 'demon' but I don't know if I even believe that or if he's crazy. Or if I'm crazy.
Sometimes I just look at myself from the outside and I wonder if I'm really locked up in a crazy person asylum somewhere instead and I'm just imagining all this, just like that Buffy episode. It's possible. It would even make more sense than any of this.
Turns out my heaps of absences before school ended hasn't changed anything for me. I'm still way popular and stuff. Which is cool cause I like being popular, but I kind of wish I had some real friends. I thought me and Carys were friends but now I'm not sure if we really are or if it's just because we both happen to be popular. It's shitty. I want to have someone I'm totally comfortable around and can talk about anything with.
The wolf thing has changed. Not the thing itself, cause I guess that's the same. But now it's like when I change I can still remember who I am. Which means I don't try and kill people or anything. Which means in turn that I don't have to lock myself down the end of the yard in the garden shed when I feel like it's going to happen. It's hard though because there's like this wolf-brain in there with my brain and I can't quite tell who's in charge. Sometimes it feels like me and I can make all these proper human choices but sometimes things go crazy.
Sometimes things god crazy. God, I totally change into a wolf. Of course things are crazy! I don't even know how it happened. I mean, all the werewolf books always say you have to get bitten by one of them but I've never even been bitten by a little yappy dog let alone a big wolf thing. Things like this don't just suddenly happen.
I kind of wish I had someone to talk to, but like what would I say? "Hi, sorry I'm like totally humping your leg but it's cause I'm a dog-girl." Yeah right. I don't really see Zach anymore and maybe he was the only one who would have got it, not that I think he really did get it. Because he says he's a 'demon' but I don't know if I even believe that or if he's crazy. Or if I'm crazy.
Sometimes I just look at myself from the outside and I wonder if I'm really locked up in a crazy person asylum somewhere instead and I'm just imagining all this, just like that Buffy episode. It's possible. It would even make more sense than any of this.
Turns out my heaps of absences before school ended hasn't changed anything for me. I'm still way popular and stuff. Which is cool cause I like being popular, but I kind of wish I had some real friends. I thought me and Carys were friends but now I'm not sure if we really are or if it's just because we both happen to be popular. It's shitty. I want to have someone I'm totally comfortable around and can talk about anything with.