Murdoch Of The Bay
I recieved this in an email this evening, forwarded to me from a colleague of mine. I don't know about you, but I find this tremendously appalling, and I'd like to hear what the rest of you think. A real entry will be coming shortly, but in the mean time, wrap your brains around this brilliant little tidbit.
WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
My Fellow Americans:
As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.
Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.
The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.
Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.
I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.
A special note to our neighbors; Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.
Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government need a serious attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security. So, start doing something with your oil.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty; starting now. We are tired of the one-way highway.
Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above; pick a country and move there. They care.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget.
To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.
God bless America. Thank you and good night.
The email ended with the following quote: If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.
And we wonder how Bush got elected. We wonder why the world sees us as arrogant, bullish bastards. We wonder what we're doing in this fucked-up situation of a war. It's true, the money we hand out could easily be spent on homeland concerns, like poverty and crime and hunger. But the bulk of it is money spent on defense, not aid to foreign countries. If I had the figures, I'd supply them, but I do know that while the United States did contribute more money towards victims of the 2004 tsunami than many other countries, the percentage of what we provided vs. our GNP was far, far less than any other country. This email pissed me off. It would not be great if our President said that. We would be rewarding those who sided with us in this pointless, bullish war we created. And we would be punishing those who stayed on the side of good moral judgment. Furthermore, we would be implying what many of the countries in the world hate us for-- our very existence is to be owed to the army. All the problems in the world are solved with people beating the shit out of other people. What a sad, sorry perspective that is, and what a sad, sorry email that was. And I hope that everybody who read this tonight, who recieved it from my colleague, or who read it for the first time on this LJ, is disgusted. Because if they're not, then I'm scared to death.
WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
My Fellow Americans:
As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.
Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.
The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.
Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.
I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.
A special note to our neighbors; Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.
Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government need a serious attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security. So, start doing something with your oil.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty; starting now. We are tired of the one-way highway.
Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above; pick a country and move there. They care.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget.
To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.
God bless America. Thank you and good night.
The email ended with the following quote: If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.
And we wonder how Bush got elected. We wonder why the world sees us as arrogant, bullish bastards. We wonder what we're doing in this fucked-up situation of a war. It's true, the money we hand out could easily be spent on homeland concerns, like poverty and crime and hunger. But the bulk of it is money spent on defense, not aid to foreign countries. If I had the figures, I'd supply them, but I do know that while the United States did contribute more money towards victims of the 2004 tsunami than many other countries, the percentage of what we provided vs. our GNP was far, far less than any other country. This email pissed me off. It would not be great if our President said that. We would be rewarding those who sided with us in this pointless, bullish war we created. And we would be punishing those who stayed on the side of good moral judgment. Furthermore, we would be implying what many of the countries in the world hate us for-- our very existence is to be owed to the army. All the problems in the world are solved with people beating the shit out of other people. What a sad, sorry perspective that is, and what a sad, sorry email that was. And I hope that everybody who read this tonight, who recieved it from my colleague, or who read it for the first time on this LJ, is disgusted. Because if they're not, then I'm scared to death.