ERICA BOBEARICA - i'm freaking out wtf
i dont know what to do.. after i got on the phone with angela i felt good. then when i hung up with her i totally freaked out
and starteed thinking too much..
about .. my life.. what i really want..
i dont know what i want..
i like people telling me what to do.. i'm too scared to make my own decisions cuz its easy to blame myself for the choices i make. and i hate it.
i've made a milllion bad choices. one of which is why i'm in new york city.
ugh.
i know what i want.. i really really do. but i'm scared that if i go through with it.. it'll end in disaster.. and i'll be left alone fucked all over again.
i'm slowly realizing that i dont like new york as much as i thought i did.
- its expensive
- i have no real friends except stella and ryan maybe
- i'm not in love excpet with my dog. but not in that way haha.
- angela is not here
- in fact no matter what she wont be anywhere but bakersfeild and i ahte that place so no.
- food is so so. some okay places.
- the weather sucks
- i got sick twice here what the hell in like two weeks. so retarded.
- no one wants to start a fun pop band with me and they dont even know who wolfie is.
- there is not enough green
- i know no one bu i guess i could acutally try but i hate .. it..
- i owe lots of money here haha
- i cant afford my apartment
- i dont like where i live and i cant do anything avbout it till may and then the place wher ei want to live is like.. going to be so much bling its crazy.
i could go on.
but where do i belong.
i dont like california
i dont like hawaii
i def dont like ohio
i dont like cold places
i dunno.
and.. yeah..
i started crying. cant someone just be like. okay. this is whats going to happen.
you and angela are going to move to blank and be happy forever.
do you know what i'm saying. DO YOU. do you know .. you.. know.
:( i'm coughing alot and a string of saliva swang out of my mouth and on my chin ahha.
is it stupid to follow your heart. cuz i swear i've done that before and it really fucked FUGGED FUCKLED me up
not even funny.
hmm.
and starteed thinking too much..
about .. my life.. what i really want..
i dont know what i want..
i like people telling me what to do.. i'm too scared to make my own decisions cuz its easy to blame myself for the choices i make. and i hate it.
i've made a milllion bad choices. one of which is why i'm in new york city.
ugh.
i know what i want.. i really really do. but i'm scared that if i go through with it.. it'll end in disaster.. and i'll be left alone fucked all over again.
i'm slowly realizing that i dont like new york as much as i thought i did.
- its expensive
- i have no real friends except stella and ryan maybe
- i'm not in love excpet with my dog. but not in that way haha.
- angela is not here
- in fact no matter what she wont be anywhere but bakersfeild and i ahte that place so no.
- food is so so. some okay places.
- the weather sucks
- i got sick twice here what the hell in like two weeks. so retarded.
- no one wants to start a fun pop band with me and they dont even know who wolfie is.
- there is not enough green
- i know no one bu i guess i could acutally try but i hate .. it..
- i owe lots of money here haha
- i cant afford my apartment
- i dont like where i live and i cant do anything avbout it till may and then the place wher ei want to live is like.. going to be so much bling its crazy.
i could go on.
but where do i belong.
i dont like california
i dont like hawaii
i def dont like ohio
i dont like cold places
i dunno.
and.. yeah..
i started crying. cant someone just be like. okay. this is whats going to happen.
you and angela are going to move to blank and be happy forever.
do you know what i'm saying. DO YOU. do you know .. you.. know.
:( i'm coughing alot and a string of saliva swang out of my mouth and on my chin ahha.
is it stupid to follow your heart. cuz i swear i've done that before and it really fucked FUGGED FUCKLED me up
not even funny.
hmm.