You might as well pour coffee in to your pc.
“Stop using java script. Don't ask your webmaster(s) if I'm right, just trust me - I am. There's so much malware out there that messes up people's java platform, so many different compatability issues, the end result is 90% of people can't use your website properly.
I'm a systems administrator, and therefore tech support to friends and family. I'm sick of people not being able to click buttons on java-enabled sites; especially when it’s right after I’ve removed some adware.
Just trust me on this. You do not want java script on your website. Least of all for links - just use flash. Just get off your high-and-mighty old-school coding horse and get some damn *.swf going on.
It's all over. Java lost, it's gone. mySQL, HTML, action scipt, the choice is yours. Just stop with the java. If you keep using java script, especially on the JOURNEY PLANNER; and you can quote me on this, you will stop being invited to parties.
And before you say it - don't. You know what I mean when I say java, just accept it.”
I fucking hate javascript. For those of you who’ve no idea why, gather round and I’ll learn you good.
Firstly - the good points of java...
- It allows you to be alot more dynamic with your HTML. Swirly things, moving page elements. Really adds to your page.
That's it. That's all - it just makes things prettier. Well, I guess we can't get rid of it now, I mean, what would we do then? Use flash?
That's not all, though. I just finished a MSN conversation with Lora that ended in her going 'fuck it' and logging off. Know why? She asked me to click a java-scripted link and it took like an eon to load. Know why? Because my browser has couple of problems with Java. Caching problems mostly. Know why? Because it's Internet Explorer and EVERY piece of malware, adware, spyware or software out there fucks about with your java platform. Everything. They should just ship Windows with a version of Internet Explorer that bitch-slaps you in the bean bag every time you click a java-based anything. In fact the only reason Lora couldn't click the damned button was because I'd gotten rid of some kinda malware with Clamwin that had, surprise of suprises, decided to fuck java! Great, now Lora's going to come to my house and set me on fire. Thank's a million java, now I'm going to die.
Fucking java...
Then the COMPATIBILITY ERRORS! Bejay-sus, it's horrific! You've got to install IE, Firefox, Netscape and Opera just to use the internet now and it's all thanks to the same stupid, stupid language.
But the fun doesn't stop there, kiddies, oh no. Have you ever tried to actually write java script? All well and good, but you can't debug the cursed script! When I'm making a website, here's the usual unvocalised exchange that takes place between me and HTML.
ME: "Okay, we good?"
HTML: "I don't know, run me in IE or something."
ME: "Okay." *runs*
HTML: "Oop, nope - line 57 doesn't make any sense, your syntax is all over the place."
ME: "Shit, my bad. I put alignv instead of valign."
HTML: "Don't worry about it, buy me a beer some time."
Java, on the other hand takes a different approach.
ME: "'kay, we good?"
JAVA: *sort of vague shrug*
ME: "Ok, I'll run you in IE, see what's happening." *runs*
JAVA: "Ooooh, no way."
ME: "What's the problem?"
JAVA: "No. Way."
ME: "Okay, something's wrong, what is it?"
JAVA: *teenager-who's-just-been-told-to-wrap-up-warm stare*
ME: "Uhh... I'll have a look in here..."
JAVA: *starts poking things*
ME: "SWEET MOTHERR OF MARY!! HOW MANY LINES ARE THERE IN HERE?!"
JAVA: "Ohh yeah - wysiwyg. Built into the editor."
ME: "Okay, that's cool. I guess. But - how am I supposed to know where the error is?"
JAVA: *picks nose*
ME: "Are there any debugging tools I can download? Any error messages you feel like giving me?"
JAVA: *starts wanking*
ME: "Get out of my house."
And so on and so forth. It's the most disgraceful language since bubble-speak. It brings about the end of days with countless security holes (don't get me started on ActiveX - really) and anything java can do, there's something else that's far better out there already being done by a retarded two year old still-born monkey foetus. On acid!
In other news, going to Secret Garden Party tomorrow. Should be a laff.
XxX - Mike
I'm a systems administrator, and therefore tech support to friends and family. I'm sick of people not being able to click buttons on java-enabled sites; especially when it’s right after I’ve removed some adware.
Just trust me on this. You do not want java script on your website. Least of all for links - just use flash. Just get off your high-and-mighty old-school coding horse and get some damn *.swf going on.
It's all over. Java lost, it's gone. mySQL, HTML, action scipt, the choice is yours. Just stop with the java. If you keep using java script, especially on the JOURNEY PLANNER; and you can quote me on this, you will stop being invited to parties.
And before you say it - don't. You know what I mean when I say java, just accept it.”
I fucking hate javascript. For those of you who’ve no idea why, gather round and I’ll learn you good.
Firstly - the good points of java...
- It allows you to be alot more dynamic with your HTML. Swirly things, moving page elements. Really adds to your page.
That's it. That's all - it just makes things prettier. Well, I guess we can't get rid of it now, I mean, what would we do then? Use flash?
That's not all, though. I just finished a MSN conversation with Lora that ended in her going 'fuck it' and logging off. Know why? She asked me to click a java-scripted link and it took like an eon to load. Know why? Because my browser has couple of problems with Java. Caching problems mostly. Know why? Because it's Internet Explorer and EVERY piece of malware, adware, spyware or software out there fucks about with your java platform. Everything. They should just ship Windows with a version of Internet Explorer that bitch-slaps you in the bean bag every time you click a java-based anything. In fact the only reason Lora couldn't click the damned button was because I'd gotten rid of some kinda malware with Clamwin that had, surprise of suprises, decided to fuck java! Great, now Lora's going to come to my house and set me on fire. Thank's a million java, now I'm going to die.
Fucking java...
Then the COMPATIBILITY ERRORS! Bejay-sus, it's horrific! You've got to install IE, Firefox, Netscape and Opera just to use the internet now and it's all thanks to the same stupid, stupid language.
But the fun doesn't stop there, kiddies, oh no. Have you ever tried to actually write java script? All well and good, but you can't debug the cursed script! When I'm making a website, here's the usual unvocalised exchange that takes place between me and HTML.
ME: "Okay, we good?"
HTML: "I don't know, run me in IE or something."
ME: "Okay." *runs*
HTML: "Oop, nope - line 57 doesn't make any sense, your syntax is all over the place."
ME: "Shit, my bad. I put alignv instead of valign."
HTML: "Don't worry about it, buy me a beer some time."
Java, on the other hand takes a different approach.
ME: "'kay, we good?"
JAVA: *sort of vague shrug*
ME: "Ok, I'll run you in IE, see what's happening." *runs*
JAVA: "Ooooh, no way."
ME: "What's the problem?"
JAVA: "No. Way."
ME: "Okay, something's wrong, what is it?"
JAVA: *teenager-who's-just-been-told-to-wrap-up-warm stare*
ME: "Uhh... I'll have a look in here..."
JAVA: *starts poking things*
ME: "SWEET MOTHERR OF MARY!! HOW MANY LINES ARE THERE IN HERE?!"
JAVA: "Ohh yeah - wysiwyg. Built into the editor."
ME: "Okay, that's cool. I guess. But - how am I supposed to know where the error is?"
JAVA: *picks nose*
ME: "Are there any debugging tools I can download? Any error messages you feel like giving me?"
JAVA: *starts wanking*
ME: "Get out of my house."
And so on and so forth. It's the most disgraceful language since bubble-speak. It brings about the end of days with countless security holes (don't get me started on ActiveX - really) and anything java can do, there's something else that's far better out there already being done by a retarded two year old still-born monkey foetus. On acid!
In other news, going to Secret Garden Party tomorrow. Should be a laff.
XxX - Mike