Doctor Who’s End Game - Moonlight Serenade 5/8
Title: Doctor Who’s End Game - Moonlight Serenade 5/8
Characters: Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, The Doctor (10), OFC, Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart, Benton
Parings: Jack/Ianto
Disclaimer: Neither Torchwood or Doctor Who are mine
Summary: The Rani wants revenge
Spoilers: None
Rating: PG-13
A/N: This is a sequel to Doctor Who’s Nightmares
Prologue here
Jack looked on in amazement. The beast had known he was about to fire and had moved. Without pause he fired another five times, then ducked for cover when the Webley hit empty.
‘I fired a full clip at it but it wasn’t there anymore. I’ve never seen anything that big move that fast!’
Benton heard the beat of the beast’s wings as it flew overhead, blood spraying from the carcass it carried. Sitting back, Jack refilled the Webley and returned it to the brown leather holster on his hip.
‘This reminds me of the time I saw my first Blowfish shot. I was working for these two Torchwood lesbians at the time and …’ Benton held up a hand to silence Jack.
Moving as fast as he could an electronic bolt exploded where his head had been only second before. A single Ogron walked into the room brandishing an energy weapon. Jack went for the Webley but was beaten to the punch by Benton who fired a continuous burst of electrical energy into the Ogron’s exposed chest. Immediately the Ogron was thrown backwards slamming into a breezeblock wall.
Lowering his arm Benton realised with horror that the red warning light was flashing on his bracelet, telling him that its power was running low. Jack nodded to him in thanks as he checked how many round he had left.
‘You look like your nearly out of power and I’m down to my last six shells. Better pick up the Ogron’s gun and use that for a while.’ Benton nodded and walked towards the downed enemy. Greenish red blood was sprayed across the wall where the energy bolt had hit home. His chest had been torn open and all his inner organs were exposed.
Gingerly he bent forward and picked up the oversized weapon, still sticky with blood. A slight wind moved slowly through the air ruffling Benton’s hair. The smell of the ocean reminded him of better times and the sound of music was carried on the breeze. Turning, he looked across at Jack who was smiling as usual.
‘It’s Moonlight Serenade… Glen Miller… my favourite,’ Jack said with a smile which lasted only seconds. He remembered one time he’d heard that particular piece of music. He’d been standing on the outer hull of an invisible ship, tethered to Big Ben, dancing with Rose Tyler. His smile returned when he remembered the good times he’d had with Rose and the Doctor, and laughed to himself at the not so good times he’d had.
***
Tracking Ianto’s glowing footprints, Louise found the Patrol of Turkish soldiers that had been followed earlier by the Ogrons and the winged beasts. The Jeep was left abandoned without a single scratch on it and the radio had been left on, playing Moonlight Serenade in low haunting tones. A lone soldier lay propped up against the right hand side wheel of the vehicle.
What fascinated her most, as she removed the night vision glasses, was that the dead soldier just sat there with a look of surprise on his face, not pain or fear, but surprise, as if dying was the last thing he’d expected. He still wore his Turkish Army uniform, without a single tear in it. His staring eyes looked out unseeing and never would see again, she knew.
Placing two fingers on his carotid artery she shook her head and swore under her breath, in case someone would hear her. He was dead, and by the look of his body he had died from shock. Patting him down Louise Ruth found two energy bars and a packet of cigars. Dropping all three into her bag she looked again for a lighter but found none.
Checking the Jeep she beamed in triumph as she found two bottles of water and a box of matches. Flipping the top off a bottle of Evian she drank deeply. Discarding the empty bottle she removed an energy bar from her bag and ripping open the packet began chewing on the contents.
The music continued to play, as if its very presence kept away evil from attacking her. Leaning forward she turned the volume as high as it would go and walked away from the dead soldier as Glen Miller reverberated around his dead eardrums. Replacing the glasses she ate and followed the warm, glowing footprints of Ianto Jones.
A whooshing sound overhead stopped her in her tracks. As she crouched she checked the sky overhead for beasts but saw none. A scream filled the night and died out, probably like its owner she mused.
When the noise had dissipated on the night breeze she turned back to the track she was following. Ianto’s footprints seemed to advance towards the Jeep then, as if he’d changed his mind, turned and walked back the way they had come. Following the line of the building on her right she continued to track the glowing foot prints as they advanced into the night. Suddenly she froze, unable to move when she noticed that Ianto’s foot prints ended. The last glowing marks scraped across the sandy street then stopped.
‘Oh shit no…’ Louise Ruth said as tears began running down her face. He must have been picked up by the swooping beast she’d just heard, she thought.
Looking around she removed her glasses trying to find any sign that he might be still alive. As she did so she walked directly into the wall on her right scraping her left shoulder. The wall wasn’t that high and she managed to pull herself on top of it without too much effort.
Fearful about what could have happened to Ianto, Louise began singing the chorus from ‘Banned from Argo’ again in a quiet voice, to boost her courage. She was just about to replace her glasses so she could scan the area when a hand grabbed her and dragged her bodily off the wall. Hitting the ground hard the air was forced out of her lungs. She tried to move but stopped when she felt a knife resting on throat.
‘One move and I’ll kill you. Don’t try to reach for your weapon; you’ll be dead before you flick the safety off.’
***
Ianto was more lost now than he had ever been in his life and that was saying something. When he had tried to get Jack’s attention by dressing for their first meeting, Jack had spurned him. All his efforts had been for nothing. He had been left standing in Cardiff bay at six in the morning after their second meeting with a steaming cup of coffee in his hand and no one to drink it with him.
He had felt lost with no one left to confide in… no one to talk to or believe in. Lisa’s death had almost finished him off when Jack had caused Myfanwy to attack and kill her. He froze as a shiver of knowledge ran through his brain. Lisa’s dead, they killed her. Each of them had fired into her body, putting her down for good. How hadn’t he remembered that before?
Touching the lump on the side of his head he felt the warm sticky texture of blood and realised he may have concussion and possible temporary amnesia. What else had he forgotten since he’d banged his head?
Slowly he ran through the events of the passed few days but they were still hazy. Then there was that song…
‘And we're banned from Argo every one, banned from Argo just for having a little fun...’ The words ran around in his mind opening up doors and windows of information that gradually repaired his memories. ‘Tosh… Owen,’ was all he said as realisation hit him. Grey had killed them… he remembered that.
‘We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four, but Argo doesn't want us anymore,’ he continued to sing as he walked, stopping only when an abandoned Jeep loomed up in front of him out of the dark. The radio played Moonlight Serenade in low whispering tones, which floated across the breeze bringing peace to the carnage that was this grave yard.
Fearful the music would bring more carnivores he skirted the outside, keeping to the shadows where possible until he had a three hundred and sixty degree plan of the jeep in his mind. There was one soldier lying on the ground, his back against the front wheel. A second soldier moved quietly, his radio in his hand, crackling intermittently.
Throwing it to one side the Turkish soldier cursed and said something Ianto didn’t recognise. Even in the dark Ianto could see the sweat running freely down the soldier’s face. His automatic pistol wavered unsteadily in his grasp as he scanned the night and whimpered. With his free hand he drew out a silver bladed knife which he held in his left fist. The tension of the situation grew and appeared too much for the soldier who shouted at the night in a stream of Turkish.
Stepping backward Ianto collided with a stone wall loosening a brick which fell heavily to the ground. The Turkish soldier turned towards the sound and levelled his pistol at the noise. He was just about to pull the trigger when a set of claws came out of nowhere and clamped tightly to each shoulder. Blood sprayed on the ground as he fought and struggled against the death grip. The knife fell from his hand as the beast hoisted him bodily into the air. Turning he tried to fire his weapon but to no avail. The night took him as the beast bit down on his exposed neck. The gun fell uselessly from his hand and that which he’d hoped wouldn’t happen happened. He died screaming as the animal carried him off bleeding and struggling to no avail.
When the sound had died away the music of Glen Miller took over masking his memory of the macabre event. Slowly and carefully he walked carefully towards the soldier lying on the ground. As he did so, he came across the knife the first soldier had dropped. Picking it up he scurried back towards the building and relative safety. Quickly he continued, almost at a run.
As he moved he felt the music follow him, growing louder as he put distance between himself and the jeep. Feeling the building ending he was comforted by the start of a small wall that continued where the building finished. As Moonlight Serenade was carried towards him on the cool breeze he placed one hand on top of the wall for guidance. Moving as carefully as he could without making a sound he heard a noise from behind and quickly vaulted over the wall. Hiding he waited, listening to the approaching footsteps.
Fearing the worst Ianto almost screamed out when the beast that was tracking him stopped by the wall opposite to where he lay, huddled. Drawing out the knife he held it in front of him ready to strike at anything that crossed the wall. Bracing himself he heard it leap onto the wall he was hiding behind. He would stab first then ask questions later. It was the only way, he knew, and then he heard it, that song. The song he’d been singing to himself since he’d found himself here.
‘And we're banned from Argo every one, banned from Argo just for having a little fun.’ Standing, he grabbed the figure sitting on the wall and pulled them down next to him. He realised immediately that it was human. Slowly he placed the blade against the intruder’s throat and waited for them to stop struggling. As he did so memories of him attacking and strangling women flashed momentarily in his brain then were gone. The images had shocked him, causing him to doubt himself for a moment. He hadn’t killed women… had he?
After asking the figure to lie still, Ianto pulled a small mag light from his pocket and shined it in the person’s face. Immediately he recognised the woman he had been sitting on and was about to ask who she was when, using her legs, she threw him violently backward off her.
‘Ianto… is that you? It’s me remember… are you all right?’ As the light, that had almost blinded her, played up and down her body, Louise Ruth heard a whimper from the darkness beyond. Slowly Ianto’s almost naked form walked forward and hugged her as tightly as he could. He hadn’t killed anyone, he knew. In that instant he remembered an alien had planted false memories in his mind. Jack had told him he wasn’t a killer. Jack was his friend, his partner, his lover. Pulling back he looked into Louise Ruth’s eyes and kissed her full on the lips.
Eventually he released her from his embrace, tears of joy running down his face. He remembered who she was, how could he have forgotten her. All they’d been through together, the times they’d made love, the happiness they’d had. Ianto squeezed both her hands and smiled at her.
‘Jack… it’s so good to see you again. I thought I was all alone out here.’ Louise Ruth was taken aback slightly by the kiss, although she had wondered at the duration and passion Ianto had put into it. Examining the side of his head she realised that he must be suffering from some kind of amnesia. He remembered her, that was for sure, but wasn’t fitting the pieces back together correctly.
Placing her hand on the back of his head she thought she’d take advantage of the situation and kissed him a second time. ‘What the hell,’ she thought, ‘might as well make the most it.’
Ianto pulled back a look of horror on his face. ‘I nearly killed you… I mean with the knife.’ Louise Ruth gazed down at the knife, still lying where it had fell when she had pushed him backwards. Understanding how close she had come to death she looked into Ianto’s eyes.
‘What stopped you? I mean from cutting my throat, what stopped you from doing it? You couldn’t have recognised me in the dark.’ Ianto looked a little sheepish as he spoke.
‘You sang that song… you know, Banned from Argo. I remembered it from the pub when Louise Ruth…’ Ianto looked at her questioningly then it hit him. ‘You’re not Jack… you’re Louise.’
‘How romantic… saved by a song.’ She smiled and was about to change the subject when Ianto remembered the kiss. ‘I kissed you thinking… I’m really sorry… but… you kissed me back.’ Louise Ruth retrieved Ianto’s knife and passed it across to him.
‘No… we never kissed. It’s probably part of your amnesia,’ she added with a smile. ‘Come on let’s try and find you some clothes. Walking around in your Calvin Klein’s can’t be healthy for you.’
Following the music they headed back to the Jeep. The radio still blasted out Moonlight Serenade in what appeared to be a loop. Once finished the song would begin again and would do so until the jeep’s battery died out. As Louise Ruth helped Ianto into the dead Turkish soldier’s uniform, she looked into the interior of the jeep and realised that it wasn’t the radio that had been playing, it had been a CD that had been left on repeat.
‘Mystery solved,’ she thought as she convinced Ianto to wear the trousers. ‘He won’t need them… not that you do… err…I mean… is that a dead Ogron?’ Louise Ruth asked, changing the subject as best as she could after noticing a dismembered Ogron lying on the roof of a nearby house. Ianto nodded as he fastened a heavy duty pair of leather army boots. Holstering the knife he smiled at Louise Ruth’s embarrassment. With his memory fully restored Ianto suddenly looked at Louise Ruth with shock and concern.
‘The Doctor… I left the casket somewhere… but… I can’t remember where.’ Louise Ruth looked into Ianto’s eyes.
‘Think Ianto… was it on a street corner, the middle of the road… where?’ Ianto concentrated then almost blurted out,
‘I dragged it into a doorway.’ Louise Ruth breathed a sigh of relief.
‘Brilliant… now all we have to do is back track your movements and find the doorway.’
Ianto looked a little worried. This was the part that he wasn’t sure of. Louise was a little more optimistic, after all she had followed him from the Argo hotel. That was probably the best place to start.
As they walked away from the jeep, Moonlight Serenade faded into the night as quiet took over, absolute silence. Cutting through backstreets and gardens she could here Ianto singing under his breath as they went.
The head nurse disappeared a while in the major dope bazaar, buying an odd green potion guaranteed to cause pon farr…
***
Jack and Benton were nearing the beach area, the smell of sea and surf strong in the air. Jack activated his Vortex manipulator and used it as a global positioning system.
‘There’s a group of hotels up the beach where we can hide out for a while.’ Benton nodded, brandishing, as best as he could, the giant hand gun designed for an oversized Ogron.
The sounds of Moonlight Serenade faded into the night as they walked leaving a feeling of relaxation and normality where tension and fear had previously been. Heading along the beach road and feeling the cool surf in his face made both weary fighters relax. Despite the situation they found themselves in, each of them recalled memories of previous moonlight walks they had taken with loved ones.
Benton remembered his wife, who had dies two years previous of old age. He remembered how they loved to walk along a strange beach heading for a meal in and out-of-the-way, candle lit restaurant. How they would share a bottle of red wine and hold hands across the table.
Jack’s thoughts returned, as always, to Ianto and the smell of the sea as it blew in from Cardiff bay. He liked watching his face as he tried to hold his hand when people were about. He enjoyed his company when they went to the Armadillo, or Millennium Centre as Ianto liked to call it. He liked walking down Harbour Drive and enjoying the fresh air and peace that the place gave then.
Both were lost in their own thoughts and never saw the trap they walked into. Without fuss or noise they were instantly surrounded by ten Ogrons, all armed and all pointing their weapons in their direction. Benton, realising the futility of fighting, dropped his weapon and raised his hands.
Jack would have made a fight of it had he been on his own, but he knew that Benton had only one life where as he could return as often as the powers that be decided was prudent. Discarding his weapon, Jack also raised his arms indicating his surrender. Perhaps, inside, he would stand a better chance that out here in the open, he mused.
A severe pain shot through his back as an Ogron slammed his weapon into his spine. Benton could only watch as Jack was kicked a number of times, blood spraying from his mouth and nose. Eventually lying still, one of the Ogrons removed Jack’s Vortex manipulator from his wrist as two others pushed Benton towards one of the hotels on their right.
Looking back, he noticed Jack as he was slung over an Ogron’s shoulder, bleeding but still not moving. As they walked through the front entrance Benton had to smile at the hotel’s name. It was the Argo, the song they had been singing when they had left the pub with the Doctor before he had collapsed.
***
Using the night vision goggles Louise Ruth noticed a number of tracks heading in the direction they had both come. Moving slowly and keeping in the shadows they noticed a group of Ogrons on the opposite side of the road. The building they were surrounding bore the name Cyprus Popular Bank.
Louise Ruth smiled and nudged Ianto. ‘I wonder why it’s so popular… especially with the Ogron contingent.’ Ianto looked around noticing a large number of Ogrons converging on the bank from the opposite end.
‘Perhaps they’re going to rob it… they don’t look the intelligent type,’ he added smiling in the dark. Deciding to cut off that part of their journey they kept in the shadows opposite the beach hotels, and moved away from the converging Ogrons. They also avoided the beach hotels, especially the one she had first seen Ianto being attacked by a giant spider.
‘Right Ianto… it’s up to you. That’s the hotel across the road where I first met you having fun with Charlotte.’ Ianto looked back at her horror showing in every feature on his face.
‘Charlotte…It was a spider…? A giant spider?’ Louise Ruth remembered that Ianto couldn’t see the things she could see courtesy of the night vision goggles and also noted the panic on his face.
‘No… no spider silly, more of a… small bear.’ Ianto nodded not too sure whether she was telling him the truth or not. Despite his mistrust of her answer he found it comforting to hang on to the bear story whether she was lying or not.
‘Err… well… it must have been over there somewhere. I remember hearing a noise coming from one of those buildings across the way and having to cross the road to get to it.’ Louise Ruth nodded, liking where this was going… in any direction other than that of the spiders.
Slowly they walked looking into every house and doorway they came across. What had once been thriving shops lined the street, their windows missing and nearby vegetation burrowing into walls and covering structures.
A noise to her left stopped Louise Ruth in her tracks. Looking at Ianto’s concern she couldn’t help smiling. Her view reminded her of the Blair Witch Project, all green and grainy.
Crouching so as to make as small a target as possible, Louise Ruth zoomed in the glasses checking the road way and the sandy area where the hotels were. To her surprise five Ogrons marched down the centre of the street, guns at the ready. With her glasses on zoom she thought they were nearly on top of them and was momentarily taken aback and nearly screamed in fright. Removing them she turned and, grabbing hold of Ianto’s jacket, almost dragged him into the nearest building.
Almost at a run Ianto darted into the open doorway tripping and falling as he did so. Louise Ruth heard the muffled grunt as he hit the deck and, tripping over the same solid object, landed on top of him. Without making a sound they listened as the patrol of Ogrons passed their building oblivious as to the occupants.
Ianto stood, dusting himself off and trying to catch the breath Louise Ruth had knocked out of him. Standing, she walked over towards the door way to check that the Ogrons had really left. Almost gasping in shock she realised that what they had both fell over was what they had been looking for, the Doctor’s casket.
‘We need to contact the Brigadier and let him know what’s going on,’ Louise Ruth said as she examined the casket. Ianto looked at the series of dials and switches running down one side and smiled.
‘He’s ok… slept through it all.’ Ianto stood, ever vigilant of the enemy, knowing that the slightest noise could alert them to their presence. ‘We need to go back to that Turkish jeep and see if there’s some kind of radio or communications device.’ Louise Ruth smiled, feeling a little embarrassed.
‘We could always ring him if you know the number.’ Producing her mobile phone she waved it at Ianto, who looked crestfallen, shaking his head. When Torchwood Three was up and running he could have contacted Tosh and that would have been an end to it. Now his only contact was Jack and he was here somewhere. Hitting the redial on her Sony Ericsson, she moved away from the door trying to shade the light from the screen with her body.
‘Laura… I know… I’ll remember don’t worry. I’ll get him a bottle of Jack and some cigars… yes I know his favourite.’ In the dark, Ianto looked amused at the one sided conversation, trying to decipher its content. ‘Are you on ‘Google’…? Yeah it’ll only take a few minutes.’ Louise Ruth looked at Ianto and shook her head in frustration. ‘I don’t use you… we’ll go out when I get back… look search for the UNIT web page… all capitals.’
Rolling her eyes she breathed a sigh of annoyance. ‘It’s your money… if you can afford a loan for a car, get one… What password?’ She almost screamed her frustration. Shifting her gaze to Ianto with a pleading look on her face she asked, ‘You don’t happen to know the password to get on the UNIT website do you?’ Ianto smiled, with his memory restored he could access thoughts much easier. It was a skill that he didn’t appreciate until he’d lost it.
‘I certainly do… it’s buffalo… or so I’ve been told.’ Louise Ruth snapped her gaze back at the mobile in her hand. It was funny, she thought, why she always looked at her phone when she talked into it.
‘No I don’t want to fire any missiles.’ Louise looked panicked for a moment as she realised that Laura might think it a game. ‘Right… now read out the contact number for UNIT.’ She then repeated the numbers out loud for Ianto to memorize and then paused for a few seconds, listening to her sister talk.
‘The dress looks lovely don’t worry about it. I’m going to have to go… I won’t forget… drink and cigars… yeah and a card… I’ll see you later… love you… the dress looks nice… I’m not just saying it… look I’ll have to go… nice is nice… I mean fabulous… yes… I’ve got to go… see you later… bye.’
Louise finally clicked the phone off and breathed a sigh of relief. ‘Please tell me you remember the number… I’ve forgot it and I don’t want to ring her back.’ Ianto smiled and recounted the number exactly. Tapping it into the phone as he spoke Louise Ruth realised she felt nervous but didn’t know why.
‘UNIT HQ Geneva, our motto is Any threat, any location, protecting humanity no matter how far it takes us, how may we help you? Do you have an un-territorial incursion or problems with extra terrestrial combatants?’ Louise decided to ignore the woman’s annoyingly calm manor.
‘My name is Louise Ruth,’ the voice on the other end of the line remained quiet as she spoke. ‘I need to speak with the Brigadier of UNIT based in Cyprus as a matter of urgency.’
‘No problem I’ll connect you immediately. What password will you be using today?’ Louise Ruth was taken aback then feeling a little embarrassed whispered,
‘The password is buffalo.’ The line when silent as the operator checked the password.
‘Thank you very much Louise Ruth and gave my regards to the Doctor… putting you through now… have a nice day.’ The line clicked as Louise Ruth looked at Ianto with amazement in her eyes.
‘Brigadier Sir Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart here this better be important or I’ll have your testicles served up raw.’ Louise Ruth couldn’t help but smile.
‘That threat would probably mean something if I had any Brigadier.’ The Brigadier physically sat back in his chair, the contingency plan he had been reading still gripped in his hand.
‘Err… sorry about that… Louise Ruth is it.’
‘Yes Brigadier and we need your help ASAP.’ The Brigadier nodded to one of his team sitting hunched over a computer consol.
‘Just getting a navigation fix on your position and retaining your number. How’s things in there?’ Louise Ruth held the phone away from her mouth.
‘He wants to know how we’re coping; shall I tell him the truth or fudge it a bit?’ Ianto shrugged then came to a decision.
‘Tell him everything except the part about me in my underpants. I think we can leave that part out.’ Louise Ruth shrugged then held the phone back to her mouth.
‘What did he say about his underpants?’ the Brigadier asked before she had a chance to say anything. Louise Ruth smiled then ignored the question.
‘Ianto and I are hold up in a hotel room just off the sea front. We have the Doctor with us but have seen no sign of the others. The trans-mat thingy scattered us across the town. There’s no telling where they are.’ The Brigadier looked up from the phone just as the soldier behind the computer screen lifted a thumb in the air stating that he had acquired a location.
‘It’s the Apollo Court Apartments, sir, on the sea front.’
‘Sit tight… we have your location and we’re sending a team in to protect you and ‘exfil’ you if necessary.’ Louise nodded but realised too late that the Brigadier couldn’t see her.
‘Got that Brigadier, will do.’ Clicking the phone off she realised that her voice had begun to match that of the Brigadier. Looking at Ianto she smiled.
‘He always reminds me of that Monty Python sketch…’ Ianto cut in with a smile.
‘The one with the two airmen talking air force banter… me too.’ Louise sat on the Doctor’s casket resting her legs and recalling the humorous sketch. Ianto joined her trying to recall the exact words used. Louise beat him to it and with a smile whispered,
‘Barry Jerry pranged his kite right in the hows-your-father. Hairy blighter dicky birdied, feathered back on his sammy, took a warspie, flipped over on his betty harpers and caught his can in the bertie.’ The likness to the Brigadier was so great Ianto had to place his hand over his mouth to stop himself laughing out loud. The release of tension was so great Louise Ruth buried her face in her arm trying to stifle her laughter.
***
The Brigadier had sent in the six-man reconnaissance team half an hour previous and motioned for the computer operator to redirect them towards Louise Ruth and Ianto. The plan he had been reading when she rang called for the team to punch a hole through the enemy lines using as much fire power as they could carry.
The sergeant and six hand picked men would, he knew, kill anything that stood in their way and even things that didn’t so much stand in their way as just happened to be in the vicinity at the time. Desperate times caused for desperate measures, he knew and using a killer like Staff Sergeant Barrett was about as desperate as he could be. The Major, that had so readily organised his desk ran through the outer office and, almost out of breath, saluted then addressed the Brigadier.
‘Sir, we have an unauthorised communication from the forbidden zone.’ The Brigadier smiled, it was probably Benton and the rest of the UNIT team.
‘Patch it through Major, on the double.’ Waving a hand towards the radio office, a private ducked inside and immediately the Brigadier’s phone began to ring. Hitting the speaker button Captain Jack Harkness’ disembodied voice crocked and spluttered.
‘Brigadier it’s Jack…’ the sound of coughing filled the office as Jack retched up a mixture of blood and vomit. The Ogrons had beaten him almost to death. His recovery rate had been reduced by injections the Rani had been thrusting into him every ten minutes. She wanted him in pain and she wanted him to feel everything.
‘Good to hear form you Captain. Give me an immediate sit rep.’ There was more coughing then Jack’s gravel filled voice again filled the speaker.
‘The two UNIT soldiers were DOA confirmed…’ Another cough punctuated his words as he continued. ‘Sergeant Benton and I are in bad shape but hanging in there.’
There was a pause as Jack spoke to a second voice too quiet for the Brigadier to pick up what was said. ‘I’ve been told by our illustrious friend to inform you that the Doctor must be at the Cyprus Popular Bank, near the sea front, in twenty minutes or we both die.’
Another conversation occurred out of ear shot then jack returned to the phone. ‘She also asks for, and I quote, “that bitch that broke my nose and ribs”… apparently she has to come too.’
There was a pause then Jack added, ‘Tell Louise Ruth she’ll have to start drinking if she’s going to come out here. If she does I promise her she’ll be banned from this place when we’re done.’ A loud scream cut into the Brigadier just as the phone went dead.
This is the Monty Python scetch that Louise Ruth and Ianto are talking about
Banned From Argo 6/8
Characters: Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, The Doctor (10), OFC, Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart, Benton
Parings: Jack/Ianto
Disclaimer: Neither Torchwood or Doctor Who are mine
Summary: The Rani wants revenge
Spoilers: None
Rating: PG-13
A/N: This is a sequel to Doctor Who’s Nightmares
Prologue here
Jack looked on in amazement. The beast had known he was about to fire and had moved. Without pause he fired another five times, then ducked for cover when the Webley hit empty.
‘I fired a full clip at it but it wasn’t there anymore. I’ve never seen anything that big move that fast!’
Benton heard the beat of the beast’s wings as it flew overhead, blood spraying from the carcass it carried. Sitting back, Jack refilled the Webley and returned it to the brown leather holster on his hip.
‘This reminds me of the time I saw my first Blowfish shot. I was working for these two Torchwood lesbians at the time and …’ Benton held up a hand to silence Jack.
Moving as fast as he could an electronic bolt exploded where his head had been only second before. A single Ogron walked into the room brandishing an energy weapon. Jack went for the Webley but was beaten to the punch by Benton who fired a continuous burst of electrical energy into the Ogron’s exposed chest. Immediately the Ogron was thrown backwards slamming into a breezeblock wall.
Lowering his arm Benton realised with horror that the red warning light was flashing on his bracelet, telling him that its power was running low. Jack nodded to him in thanks as he checked how many round he had left.
‘You look like your nearly out of power and I’m down to my last six shells. Better pick up the Ogron’s gun and use that for a while.’ Benton nodded and walked towards the downed enemy. Greenish red blood was sprayed across the wall where the energy bolt had hit home. His chest had been torn open and all his inner organs were exposed.
Gingerly he bent forward and picked up the oversized weapon, still sticky with blood. A slight wind moved slowly through the air ruffling Benton’s hair. The smell of the ocean reminded him of better times and the sound of music was carried on the breeze. Turning, he looked across at Jack who was smiling as usual.
‘It’s Moonlight Serenade… Glen Miller… my favourite,’ Jack said with a smile which lasted only seconds. He remembered one time he’d heard that particular piece of music. He’d been standing on the outer hull of an invisible ship, tethered to Big Ben, dancing with Rose Tyler. His smile returned when he remembered the good times he’d had with Rose and the Doctor, and laughed to himself at the not so good times he’d had.
***
Tracking Ianto’s glowing footprints, Louise found the Patrol of Turkish soldiers that had been followed earlier by the Ogrons and the winged beasts. The Jeep was left abandoned without a single scratch on it and the radio had been left on, playing Moonlight Serenade in low haunting tones. A lone soldier lay propped up against the right hand side wheel of the vehicle.
What fascinated her most, as she removed the night vision glasses, was that the dead soldier just sat there with a look of surprise on his face, not pain or fear, but surprise, as if dying was the last thing he’d expected. He still wore his Turkish Army uniform, without a single tear in it. His staring eyes looked out unseeing and never would see again, she knew.
Placing two fingers on his carotid artery she shook her head and swore under her breath, in case someone would hear her. He was dead, and by the look of his body he had died from shock. Patting him down Louise Ruth found two energy bars and a packet of cigars. Dropping all three into her bag she looked again for a lighter but found none.
Checking the Jeep she beamed in triumph as she found two bottles of water and a box of matches. Flipping the top off a bottle of Evian she drank deeply. Discarding the empty bottle she removed an energy bar from her bag and ripping open the packet began chewing on the contents.
The music continued to play, as if its very presence kept away evil from attacking her. Leaning forward she turned the volume as high as it would go and walked away from the dead soldier as Glen Miller reverberated around his dead eardrums. Replacing the glasses she ate and followed the warm, glowing footprints of Ianto Jones.
A whooshing sound overhead stopped her in her tracks. As she crouched she checked the sky overhead for beasts but saw none. A scream filled the night and died out, probably like its owner she mused.
When the noise had dissipated on the night breeze she turned back to the track she was following. Ianto’s footprints seemed to advance towards the Jeep then, as if he’d changed his mind, turned and walked back the way they had come. Following the line of the building on her right she continued to track the glowing foot prints as they advanced into the night. Suddenly she froze, unable to move when she noticed that Ianto’s foot prints ended. The last glowing marks scraped across the sandy street then stopped.
‘Oh shit no…’ Louise Ruth said as tears began running down her face. He must have been picked up by the swooping beast she’d just heard, she thought.
Looking around she removed her glasses trying to find any sign that he might be still alive. As she did so she walked directly into the wall on her right scraping her left shoulder. The wall wasn’t that high and she managed to pull herself on top of it without too much effort.
Fearful about what could have happened to Ianto, Louise began singing the chorus from ‘Banned from Argo’ again in a quiet voice, to boost her courage. She was just about to replace her glasses so she could scan the area when a hand grabbed her and dragged her bodily off the wall. Hitting the ground hard the air was forced out of her lungs. She tried to move but stopped when she felt a knife resting on throat.
‘One move and I’ll kill you. Don’t try to reach for your weapon; you’ll be dead before you flick the safety off.’
***
Ianto was more lost now than he had ever been in his life and that was saying something. When he had tried to get Jack’s attention by dressing for their first meeting, Jack had spurned him. All his efforts had been for nothing. He had been left standing in Cardiff bay at six in the morning after their second meeting with a steaming cup of coffee in his hand and no one to drink it with him.
He had felt lost with no one left to confide in… no one to talk to or believe in. Lisa’s death had almost finished him off when Jack had caused Myfanwy to attack and kill her. He froze as a shiver of knowledge ran through his brain. Lisa’s dead, they killed her. Each of them had fired into her body, putting her down for good. How hadn’t he remembered that before?
Touching the lump on the side of his head he felt the warm sticky texture of blood and realised he may have concussion and possible temporary amnesia. What else had he forgotten since he’d banged his head?
Slowly he ran through the events of the passed few days but they were still hazy. Then there was that song…
‘And we're banned from Argo every one, banned from Argo just for having a little fun...’ The words ran around in his mind opening up doors and windows of information that gradually repaired his memories. ‘Tosh… Owen,’ was all he said as realisation hit him. Grey had killed them… he remembered that.
‘We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four, but Argo doesn't want us anymore,’ he continued to sing as he walked, stopping only when an abandoned Jeep loomed up in front of him out of the dark. The radio played Moonlight Serenade in low whispering tones, which floated across the breeze bringing peace to the carnage that was this grave yard.
Fearful the music would bring more carnivores he skirted the outside, keeping to the shadows where possible until he had a three hundred and sixty degree plan of the jeep in his mind. There was one soldier lying on the ground, his back against the front wheel. A second soldier moved quietly, his radio in his hand, crackling intermittently.
Throwing it to one side the Turkish soldier cursed and said something Ianto didn’t recognise. Even in the dark Ianto could see the sweat running freely down the soldier’s face. His automatic pistol wavered unsteadily in his grasp as he scanned the night and whimpered. With his free hand he drew out a silver bladed knife which he held in his left fist. The tension of the situation grew and appeared too much for the soldier who shouted at the night in a stream of Turkish.
Stepping backward Ianto collided with a stone wall loosening a brick which fell heavily to the ground. The Turkish soldier turned towards the sound and levelled his pistol at the noise. He was just about to pull the trigger when a set of claws came out of nowhere and clamped tightly to each shoulder. Blood sprayed on the ground as he fought and struggled against the death grip. The knife fell from his hand as the beast hoisted him bodily into the air. Turning he tried to fire his weapon but to no avail. The night took him as the beast bit down on his exposed neck. The gun fell uselessly from his hand and that which he’d hoped wouldn’t happen happened. He died screaming as the animal carried him off bleeding and struggling to no avail.
When the sound had died away the music of Glen Miller took over masking his memory of the macabre event. Slowly and carefully he walked carefully towards the soldier lying on the ground. As he did so, he came across the knife the first soldier had dropped. Picking it up he scurried back towards the building and relative safety. Quickly he continued, almost at a run.
As he moved he felt the music follow him, growing louder as he put distance between himself and the jeep. Feeling the building ending he was comforted by the start of a small wall that continued where the building finished. As Moonlight Serenade was carried towards him on the cool breeze he placed one hand on top of the wall for guidance. Moving as carefully as he could without making a sound he heard a noise from behind and quickly vaulted over the wall. Hiding he waited, listening to the approaching footsteps.
Fearing the worst Ianto almost screamed out when the beast that was tracking him stopped by the wall opposite to where he lay, huddled. Drawing out the knife he held it in front of him ready to strike at anything that crossed the wall. Bracing himself he heard it leap onto the wall he was hiding behind. He would stab first then ask questions later. It was the only way, he knew, and then he heard it, that song. The song he’d been singing to himself since he’d found himself here.
‘And we're banned from Argo every one, banned from Argo just for having a little fun.’ Standing, he grabbed the figure sitting on the wall and pulled them down next to him. He realised immediately that it was human. Slowly he placed the blade against the intruder’s throat and waited for them to stop struggling. As he did so memories of him attacking and strangling women flashed momentarily in his brain then were gone. The images had shocked him, causing him to doubt himself for a moment. He hadn’t killed women… had he?
After asking the figure to lie still, Ianto pulled a small mag light from his pocket and shined it in the person’s face. Immediately he recognised the woman he had been sitting on and was about to ask who she was when, using her legs, she threw him violently backward off her.
‘Ianto… is that you? It’s me remember… are you all right?’ As the light, that had almost blinded her, played up and down her body, Louise Ruth heard a whimper from the darkness beyond. Slowly Ianto’s almost naked form walked forward and hugged her as tightly as he could. He hadn’t killed anyone, he knew. In that instant he remembered an alien had planted false memories in his mind. Jack had told him he wasn’t a killer. Jack was his friend, his partner, his lover. Pulling back he looked into Louise Ruth’s eyes and kissed her full on the lips.
Eventually he released her from his embrace, tears of joy running down his face. He remembered who she was, how could he have forgotten her. All they’d been through together, the times they’d made love, the happiness they’d had. Ianto squeezed both her hands and smiled at her.
‘Jack… it’s so good to see you again. I thought I was all alone out here.’ Louise Ruth was taken aback slightly by the kiss, although she had wondered at the duration and passion Ianto had put into it. Examining the side of his head she realised that he must be suffering from some kind of amnesia. He remembered her, that was for sure, but wasn’t fitting the pieces back together correctly.
Placing her hand on the back of his head she thought she’d take advantage of the situation and kissed him a second time. ‘What the hell,’ she thought, ‘might as well make the most it.’
Ianto pulled back a look of horror on his face. ‘I nearly killed you… I mean with the knife.’ Louise Ruth gazed down at the knife, still lying where it had fell when she had pushed him backwards. Understanding how close she had come to death she looked into Ianto’s eyes.
‘What stopped you? I mean from cutting my throat, what stopped you from doing it? You couldn’t have recognised me in the dark.’ Ianto looked a little sheepish as he spoke.
‘You sang that song… you know, Banned from Argo. I remembered it from the pub when Louise Ruth…’ Ianto looked at her questioningly then it hit him. ‘You’re not Jack… you’re Louise.’
‘How romantic… saved by a song.’ She smiled and was about to change the subject when Ianto remembered the kiss. ‘I kissed you thinking… I’m really sorry… but… you kissed me back.’ Louise Ruth retrieved Ianto’s knife and passed it across to him.
‘No… we never kissed. It’s probably part of your amnesia,’ she added with a smile. ‘Come on let’s try and find you some clothes. Walking around in your Calvin Klein’s can’t be healthy for you.’
Following the music they headed back to the Jeep. The radio still blasted out Moonlight Serenade in what appeared to be a loop. Once finished the song would begin again and would do so until the jeep’s battery died out. As Louise Ruth helped Ianto into the dead Turkish soldier’s uniform, she looked into the interior of the jeep and realised that it wasn’t the radio that had been playing, it had been a CD that had been left on repeat.
‘Mystery solved,’ she thought as she convinced Ianto to wear the trousers. ‘He won’t need them… not that you do… err…I mean… is that a dead Ogron?’ Louise Ruth asked, changing the subject as best as she could after noticing a dismembered Ogron lying on the roof of a nearby house. Ianto nodded as he fastened a heavy duty pair of leather army boots. Holstering the knife he smiled at Louise Ruth’s embarrassment. With his memory fully restored Ianto suddenly looked at Louise Ruth with shock and concern.
‘The Doctor… I left the casket somewhere… but… I can’t remember where.’ Louise Ruth looked into Ianto’s eyes.
‘Think Ianto… was it on a street corner, the middle of the road… where?’ Ianto concentrated then almost blurted out,
‘I dragged it into a doorway.’ Louise Ruth breathed a sigh of relief.
‘Brilliant… now all we have to do is back track your movements and find the doorway.’
Ianto looked a little worried. This was the part that he wasn’t sure of. Louise was a little more optimistic, after all she had followed him from the Argo hotel. That was probably the best place to start.
As they walked away from the jeep, Moonlight Serenade faded into the night as quiet took over, absolute silence. Cutting through backstreets and gardens she could here Ianto singing under his breath as they went.
The head nurse disappeared a while in the major dope bazaar, buying an odd green potion guaranteed to cause pon farr…
***
Jack and Benton were nearing the beach area, the smell of sea and surf strong in the air. Jack activated his Vortex manipulator and used it as a global positioning system.
‘There’s a group of hotels up the beach where we can hide out for a while.’ Benton nodded, brandishing, as best as he could, the giant hand gun designed for an oversized Ogron.
The sounds of Moonlight Serenade faded into the night as they walked leaving a feeling of relaxation and normality where tension and fear had previously been. Heading along the beach road and feeling the cool surf in his face made both weary fighters relax. Despite the situation they found themselves in, each of them recalled memories of previous moonlight walks they had taken with loved ones.
Benton remembered his wife, who had dies two years previous of old age. He remembered how they loved to walk along a strange beach heading for a meal in and out-of-the-way, candle lit restaurant. How they would share a bottle of red wine and hold hands across the table.
Jack’s thoughts returned, as always, to Ianto and the smell of the sea as it blew in from Cardiff bay. He liked watching his face as he tried to hold his hand when people were about. He enjoyed his company when they went to the Armadillo, or Millennium Centre as Ianto liked to call it. He liked walking down Harbour Drive and enjoying the fresh air and peace that the place gave then.
Both were lost in their own thoughts and never saw the trap they walked into. Without fuss or noise they were instantly surrounded by ten Ogrons, all armed and all pointing their weapons in their direction. Benton, realising the futility of fighting, dropped his weapon and raised his hands.
Jack would have made a fight of it had he been on his own, but he knew that Benton had only one life where as he could return as often as the powers that be decided was prudent. Discarding his weapon, Jack also raised his arms indicating his surrender. Perhaps, inside, he would stand a better chance that out here in the open, he mused.
A severe pain shot through his back as an Ogron slammed his weapon into his spine. Benton could only watch as Jack was kicked a number of times, blood spraying from his mouth and nose. Eventually lying still, one of the Ogrons removed Jack’s Vortex manipulator from his wrist as two others pushed Benton towards one of the hotels on their right.
Looking back, he noticed Jack as he was slung over an Ogron’s shoulder, bleeding but still not moving. As they walked through the front entrance Benton had to smile at the hotel’s name. It was the Argo, the song they had been singing when they had left the pub with the Doctor before he had collapsed.
***
Using the night vision goggles Louise Ruth noticed a number of tracks heading in the direction they had both come. Moving slowly and keeping in the shadows they noticed a group of Ogrons on the opposite side of the road. The building they were surrounding bore the name Cyprus Popular Bank.
Louise Ruth smiled and nudged Ianto. ‘I wonder why it’s so popular… especially with the Ogron contingent.’ Ianto looked around noticing a large number of Ogrons converging on the bank from the opposite end.
‘Perhaps they’re going to rob it… they don’t look the intelligent type,’ he added smiling in the dark. Deciding to cut off that part of their journey they kept in the shadows opposite the beach hotels, and moved away from the converging Ogrons. They also avoided the beach hotels, especially the one she had first seen Ianto being attacked by a giant spider.
‘Right Ianto… it’s up to you. That’s the hotel across the road where I first met you having fun with Charlotte.’ Ianto looked back at her horror showing in every feature on his face.
‘Charlotte…It was a spider…? A giant spider?’ Louise Ruth remembered that Ianto couldn’t see the things she could see courtesy of the night vision goggles and also noted the panic on his face.
‘No… no spider silly, more of a… small bear.’ Ianto nodded not too sure whether she was telling him the truth or not. Despite his mistrust of her answer he found it comforting to hang on to the bear story whether she was lying or not.
‘Err… well… it must have been over there somewhere. I remember hearing a noise coming from one of those buildings across the way and having to cross the road to get to it.’ Louise Ruth nodded, liking where this was going… in any direction other than that of the spiders.
Slowly they walked looking into every house and doorway they came across. What had once been thriving shops lined the street, their windows missing and nearby vegetation burrowing into walls and covering structures.
A noise to her left stopped Louise Ruth in her tracks. Looking at Ianto’s concern she couldn’t help smiling. Her view reminded her of the Blair Witch Project, all green and grainy.
Crouching so as to make as small a target as possible, Louise Ruth zoomed in the glasses checking the road way and the sandy area where the hotels were. To her surprise five Ogrons marched down the centre of the street, guns at the ready. With her glasses on zoom she thought they were nearly on top of them and was momentarily taken aback and nearly screamed in fright. Removing them she turned and, grabbing hold of Ianto’s jacket, almost dragged him into the nearest building.
Almost at a run Ianto darted into the open doorway tripping and falling as he did so. Louise Ruth heard the muffled grunt as he hit the deck and, tripping over the same solid object, landed on top of him. Without making a sound they listened as the patrol of Ogrons passed their building oblivious as to the occupants.
Ianto stood, dusting himself off and trying to catch the breath Louise Ruth had knocked out of him. Standing, she walked over towards the door way to check that the Ogrons had really left. Almost gasping in shock she realised that what they had both fell over was what they had been looking for, the Doctor’s casket.
‘We need to contact the Brigadier and let him know what’s going on,’ Louise Ruth said as she examined the casket. Ianto looked at the series of dials and switches running down one side and smiled.
‘He’s ok… slept through it all.’ Ianto stood, ever vigilant of the enemy, knowing that the slightest noise could alert them to their presence. ‘We need to go back to that Turkish jeep and see if there’s some kind of radio or communications device.’ Louise Ruth smiled, feeling a little embarrassed.
‘We could always ring him if you know the number.’ Producing her mobile phone she waved it at Ianto, who looked crestfallen, shaking his head. When Torchwood Three was up and running he could have contacted Tosh and that would have been an end to it. Now his only contact was Jack and he was here somewhere. Hitting the redial on her Sony Ericsson, she moved away from the door trying to shade the light from the screen with her body.
‘Laura… I know… I’ll remember don’t worry. I’ll get him a bottle of Jack and some cigars… yes I know his favourite.’ In the dark, Ianto looked amused at the one sided conversation, trying to decipher its content. ‘Are you on ‘Google’…? Yeah it’ll only take a few minutes.’ Louise Ruth looked at Ianto and shook her head in frustration. ‘I don’t use you… we’ll go out when I get back… look search for the UNIT web page… all capitals.’
Rolling her eyes she breathed a sigh of annoyance. ‘It’s your money… if you can afford a loan for a car, get one… What password?’ She almost screamed her frustration. Shifting her gaze to Ianto with a pleading look on her face she asked, ‘You don’t happen to know the password to get on the UNIT website do you?’ Ianto smiled, with his memory restored he could access thoughts much easier. It was a skill that he didn’t appreciate until he’d lost it.
‘I certainly do… it’s buffalo… or so I’ve been told.’ Louise Ruth snapped her gaze back at the mobile in her hand. It was funny, she thought, why she always looked at her phone when she talked into it.
‘No I don’t want to fire any missiles.’ Louise looked panicked for a moment as she realised that Laura might think it a game. ‘Right… now read out the contact number for UNIT.’ She then repeated the numbers out loud for Ianto to memorize and then paused for a few seconds, listening to her sister talk.
‘The dress looks lovely don’t worry about it. I’m going to have to go… I won’t forget… drink and cigars… yeah and a card… I’ll see you later… love you… the dress looks nice… I’m not just saying it… look I’ll have to go… nice is nice… I mean fabulous… yes… I’ve got to go… see you later… bye.’
Louise finally clicked the phone off and breathed a sigh of relief. ‘Please tell me you remember the number… I’ve forgot it and I don’t want to ring her back.’ Ianto smiled and recounted the number exactly. Tapping it into the phone as he spoke Louise Ruth realised she felt nervous but didn’t know why.
‘UNIT HQ Geneva, our motto is Any threat, any location, protecting humanity no matter how far it takes us, how may we help you? Do you have an un-territorial incursion or problems with extra terrestrial combatants?’ Louise decided to ignore the woman’s annoyingly calm manor.
‘My name is Louise Ruth,’ the voice on the other end of the line remained quiet as she spoke. ‘I need to speak with the Brigadier of UNIT based in Cyprus as a matter of urgency.’
‘No problem I’ll connect you immediately. What password will you be using today?’ Louise Ruth was taken aback then feeling a little embarrassed whispered,
‘The password is buffalo.’ The line when silent as the operator checked the password.
‘Thank you very much Louise Ruth and gave my regards to the Doctor… putting you through now… have a nice day.’ The line clicked as Louise Ruth looked at Ianto with amazement in her eyes.
‘Brigadier Sir Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart here this better be important or I’ll have your testicles served up raw.’ Louise Ruth couldn’t help but smile.
‘That threat would probably mean something if I had any Brigadier.’ The Brigadier physically sat back in his chair, the contingency plan he had been reading still gripped in his hand.
‘Err… sorry about that… Louise Ruth is it.’
‘Yes Brigadier and we need your help ASAP.’ The Brigadier nodded to one of his team sitting hunched over a computer consol.
‘Just getting a navigation fix on your position and retaining your number. How’s things in there?’ Louise Ruth held the phone away from her mouth.
‘He wants to know how we’re coping; shall I tell him the truth or fudge it a bit?’ Ianto shrugged then came to a decision.
‘Tell him everything except the part about me in my underpants. I think we can leave that part out.’ Louise Ruth shrugged then held the phone back to her mouth.
‘What did he say about his underpants?’ the Brigadier asked before she had a chance to say anything. Louise Ruth smiled then ignored the question.
‘Ianto and I are hold up in a hotel room just off the sea front. We have the Doctor with us but have seen no sign of the others. The trans-mat thingy scattered us across the town. There’s no telling where they are.’ The Brigadier looked up from the phone just as the soldier behind the computer screen lifted a thumb in the air stating that he had acquired a location.
‘It’s the Apollo Court Apartments, sir, on the sea front.’
‘Sit tight… we have your location and we’re sending a team in to protect you and ‘exfil’ you if necessary.’ Louise nodded but realised too late that the Brigadier couldn’t see her.
‘Got that Brigadier, will do.’ Clicking the phone off she realised that her voice had begun to match that of the Brigadier. Looking at Ianto she smiled.
‘He always reminds me of that Monty Python sketch…’ Ianto cut in with a smile.
‘The one with the two airmen talking air force banter… me too.’ Louise sat on the Doctor’s casket resting her legs and recalling the humorous sketch. Ianto joined her trying to recall the exact words used. Louise beat him to it and with a smile whispered,
‘Barry Jerry pranged his kite right in the hows-your-father. Hairy blighter dicky birdied, feathered back on his sammy, took a warspie, flipped over on his betty harpers and caught his can in the bertie.’ The likness to the Brigadier was so great Ianto had to place his hand over his mouth to stop himself laughing out loud. The release of tension was so great Louise Ruth buried her face in her arm trying to stifle her laughter.
***
The Brigadier had sent in the six-man reconnaissance team half an hour previous and motioned for the computer operator to redirect them towards Louise Ruth and Ianto. The plan he had been reading when she rang called for the team to punch a hole through the enemy lines using as much fire power as they could carry.
The sergeant and six hand picked men would, he knew, kill anything that stood in their way and even things that didn’t so much stand in their way as just happened to be in the vicinity at the time. Desperate times caused for desperate measures, he knew and using a killer like Staff Sergeant Barrett was about as desperate as he could be. The Major, that had so readily organised his desk ran through the outer office and, almost out of breath, saluted then addressed the Brigadier.
‘Sir, we have an unauthorised communication from the forbidden zone.’ The Brigadier smiled, it was probably Benton and the rest of the UNIT team.
‘Patch it through Major, on the double.’ Waving a hand towards the radio office, a private ducked inside and immediately the Brigadier’s phone began to ring. Hitting the speaker button Captain Jack Harkness’ disembodied voice crocked and spluttered.
‘Brigadier it’s Jack…’ the sound of coughing filled the office as Jack retched up a mixture of blood and vomit. The Ogrons had beaten him almost to death. His recovery rate had been reduced by injections the Rani had been thrusting into him every ten minutes. She wanted him in pain and she wanted him to feel everything.
‘Good to hear form you Captain. Give me an immediate sit rep.’ There was more coughing then Jack’s gravel filled voice again filled the speaker.
‘The two UNIT soldiers were DOA confirmed…’ Another cough punctuated his words as he continued. ‘Sergeant Benton and I are in bad shape but hanging in there.’
There was a pause as Jack spoke to a second voice too quiet for the Brigadier to pick up what was said. ‘I’ve been told by our illustrious friend to inform you that the Doctor must be at the Cyprus Popular Bank, near the sea front, in twenty minutes or we both die.’
Another conversation occurred out of ear shot then jack returned to the phone. ‘She also asks for, and I quote, “that bitch that broke my nose and ribs”… apparently she has to come too.’
There was a pause then Jack added, ‘Tell Louise Ruth she’ll have to start drinking if she’s going to come out here. If she does I promise her she’ll be banned from this place when we’re done.’ A loud scream cut into the Brigadier just as the phone went dead.
Click to viewThis is the Monty Python scetch that Louise Ruth and Ianto are talking about
Banned From Argo 6/8