ugh
I'm feeling so overwhelmed...
Last night I had a moment, it was around 10:30. Kevin had fallen asleep on the couch, Charlie snuggled next to him. I had just finished watching "Project Runway". It was the second night in a row that he had fallen asleep before me. I was washing Charlie's bottles and I felt suddenly, completely alone.
I know it's hard to come home from a full day's work and hear your wife bitch and complain about how the baby was fussy all afternoon, and I tried calling you at 5 and where the hell were you?? I can't take the crying anymore!! Ugh.
Still...he's not the one that feels chained to a breast pump, the one who has been busting ass trying to keep the baby fed/stimulated/calm while she feels like a fucking skank because she keeps putting off her haircuts/brow waxes/etc. Why bother? Every shirt I put will probably get drooled on/spit up on....I feel like I look like the walking dead, so why am I surprised when I want to have sex and he says no? Yeah, he's probably just as tired as I am, but shit, he doesn't understand being home all day, tiptoeing to the bathroom so I can freakin PEE in peace, tiptoeing to the kitchen to make coffee because I will lose my shit if I don't.......
I can't decide if I'm a horrible person or if I just didn't know how this was going to be.
Last night I had a moment, it was around 10:30. Kevin had fallen asleep on the couch, Charlie snuggled next to him. I had just finished watching "Project Runway". It was the second night in a row that he had fallen asleep before me. I was washing Charlie's bottles and I felt suddenly, completely alone.
I know it's hard to come home from a full day's work and hear your wife bitch and complain about how the baby was fussy all afternoon, and I tried calling you at 5 and where the hell were you?? I can't take the crying anymore!! Ugh.
Still...he's not the one that feels chained to a breast pump, the one who has been busting ass trying to keep the baby fed/stimulated/calm while she feels like a fucking skank because she keeps putting off her haircuts/brow waxes/etc. Why bother? Every shirt I put will probably get drooled on/spit up on....I feel like I look like the walking dead, so why am I surprised when I want to have sex and he says no? Yeah, he's probably just as tired as I am, but shit, he doesn't understand being home all day, tiptoeing to the bathroom so I can freakin PEE in peace, tiptoeing to the kitchen to make coffee because I will lose my shit if I don't.......
I can't decide if I'm a horrible person or if I just didn't know how this was going to be.