I'm going to whine about a boy because I'm sick of talking to the people that I live with
I can be single and it's fine. I can be in a relationship and be laid back and pretty undemanding. What I don't handle well is that place between single and not where you never know quite where you stand.
Jay
Jay is the boy that I have been "seeing" recently. We seldom go out which is mostly okay as I am making $100 a month. He is so All-American that it almost hurts. The boy was in the army and now he's a paramedic and volunteer firefighter. He wears a lot of baseball caps and cargo shorts. He likes Flogging Molly and the Tossers and Dropkick but sometimes listens to Sinatra while he mows the lawn. I'm pretty sure his favorite movie is Clerks II but he'll watch anything about paramedics or firefighters. What I'm saying here is "What the hell am I doing with this boy to begin with?" He's goofy but moody and I can't quite tell if he likes me or not. This is the part that drives me crazy. Look, Max has been driving me nuts for four years now. Jesus, four fucking years. I thought that I was starting to get over the ridiculous insecurities that I developed after he left Omaha...and redeveloped after we argued in Holland...but sometimes Jay does things that remind me of Max. And I can't do that. I can't spend the next six months with that bullshit. Just be straight with me. You like me? Great. I like you too (but you know that because I've made a point of telling you). Telling me that if you didn't enjoy my company you wouldn't be still hanging out with me is still vague enough to be on the fence. And if you're on the fence just fucking tell me.
I don't want to guess and I don't want to play games. Just fucking tell me! You don't want anything serious? That's great! I'm out of here in six months! But I'm learning that by serious you mean being accountable for anything to another person. Well, guess what? You are in a relationship with me even if it's not as a significant other. We're at least friendsish and my sanity is just as important as yours. Just let me know what's going on and I can take a lot.
Oh well, I probably ended it this morning anyway.
I want Mexican food. Boys make me tired and I want Mexican food.
Jay
Jay is the boy that I have been "seeing" recently. We seldom go out which is mostly okay as I am making $100 a month. He is so All-American that it almost hurts. The boy was in the army and now he's a paramedic and volunteer firefighter. He wears a lot of baseball caps and cargo shorts. He likes Flogging Molly and the Tossers and Dropkick but sometimes listens to Sinatra while he mows the lawn. I'm pretty sure his favorite movie is Clerks II but he'll watch anything about paramedics or firefighters. What I'm saying here is "What the hell am I doing with this boy to begin with?" He's goofy but moody and I can't quite tell if he likes me or not. This is the part that drives me crazy. Look, Max has been driving me nuts for four years now. Jesus, four fucking years. I thought that I was starting to get over the ridiculous insecurities that I developed after he left Omaha...and redeveloped after we argued in Holland...but sometimes Jay does things that remind me of Max. And I can't do that. I can't spend the next six months with that bullshit. Just be straight with me. You like me? Great. I like you too (but you know that because I've made a point of telling you). Telling me that if you didn't enjoy my company you wouldn't be still hanging out with me is still vague enough to be on the fence. And if you're on the fence just fucking tell me.
I don't want to guess and I don't want to play games. Just fucking tell me! You don't want anything serious? That's great! I'm out of here in six months! But I'm learning that by serious you mean being accountable for anything to another person. Well, guess what? You are in a relationship with me even if it's not as a significant other. We're at least friendsish and my sanity is just as important as yours. Just let me know what's going on and I can take a lot.
Oh well, I probably ended it this morning anyway.
I want Mexican food. Boys make me tired and I want Mexican food.