smells like teen angst
The children wave sparklers around, dancing in the night. Little yellow-orange sparks cool quickly in the air and fall slowly to the sand. They are so young, so many experiences to be had. Running and screaming, so full of life. Once they’ve left, the sound of waves crashing is all you hear. The atmosphere is so serene that it is almost eerie. No one else on the beach, thoughts running through your head. If you close your eyes you can feel yourself out floating in the open water, but it is only a feeling, farther from being real than anything else. You run your fingers through the sand, trying to suppress your thoughts, but it doesn’t work. All of a sudden, the tears stream from your eyes. You can’t hold back your emotions anymore, and why should you. With no one around you can just be. Take off the mask, there is no one to lie to but yourself. Holding your legs with your head resting between your knees, you rock back and forth to your own rhythm. Can’t stand the pain anymore, just let it out. You thought you could hold it back for ever, but emotions always come out eventually growing worse with time. Pain, anger, sadness, you want to destroy anything beautiful… somehow that would make it all okay. You realize that you are walking now, though don’t remember getting up. Dragging your feet through the sand seems so representative of your feelings right now. Nothing else matters at all but not stopping. Keep moving at all cost, you need to distract yourself. The thought of your body floating on the open water comes back into your head, this time a little different…a view from a third person perspective and the body isn’t moving. The tears stop, and your breathing slows. Calming down, you start walking back up to the street. Another day… you think, tomorrow will be different. Good luck.