21st Century Pilgrim
I've just finished watching a programme on BBC2 - it's the first time I've noticed it - & it also happened to be the last in the series: damn! Extreme Pilgrim had Pete Owen-Jones travelling to different spiritual sites to try & 'get back' to the level of spirituality, which he feels modern-day Christianity in Britain has neglected. This episode caught my attention because the preview read that he was seeking to 'test the theories of St. Antony that closeness to God was to be found in a solitary life of prayer.'
As it turned out, Pete Owen-Jones won my respect. Yes, it was done for a tv documentary so there was lots of footage of camels and the Bedouin as Pete made his journey across the desert to the first ever monastery, as built by St. Antony & his followers. But it was the way in which he entered into his quest & then kept going that I admired the most. Taking a cave up in the mountains from the monastery, he was there by himself for three weeks to dedicate his time to prayer. His mentor, Father Lazurus (whose cave he was borrowing, whilst Lazarus moved further up into another cave) warned him beforehand of physical attacks of the spirit. The night before Pete moved into the cave, he was awake, scared & questioning: 'are the demons just in our heads?' or would they be coming to life around the cave he was living in?
As he got about four days in, he was beginning to feel like he couldn't carry on due to how lonely & homesick he was feeling, plus his inability to sleep with the magnified sound around him. He was questioning the theology of his situation - 'Why would a loving God, a loving Father want his children to go out alone to be surrounded by snakes?' I was rooting for him to keep going & draw strength from God to get past that point ... There was a brilliant moment when he was filming himself, sat out on the mountainside & suddenly he leant his head back & yelled skyward: 'why is all about You anyway?' Fantastic honesty! Yancey would applaud him, the sentiment spoken as though straight from the Psalms.
Two weeks in, he thought he was hearing footsteps coming down the mountain at night ... This turned out to be a note from Lazarus encouraging him to look ahead :) He admitted to being 'disturbingly self-reflective' - thinking over his life & what mattered most & why guilt should consumes us when we enjoy the simple pleasures of our lives. But towards the end of his stay, there was a notable difference in his attitude. Whereas before any of the filmed prayers said were mainly liturgical & looked like they were being said for the sake of it, there was a moment when he'd just finished cooking his dinner & he then bowed his head & literally gave thanks. It wasn't not a dutiful grace, but a heartfelt prayer for the only food he was having that day. - And that's what impressed me really - his perseverance which made him stay up there & the humility which enabled him to really learn from the experience, take stock & give thanks.
Pete's resulting conclusion was that his work, his ministry was most definitely out in the field, interacting with people & demonstrating God's love that way. But I think he also had a newfound respect for those like Father Lazarus who imagine themselves as all of mankind standing before God & spend their days praying alone. I've considered prayer to be a real privilege & a God-given gift, to know that we can go directly before our God & talk to Him & bring to Him our praise & concerns & troubles or just to spend time drawing closer to Him. But I can't imagine how much discipline would be required for three weeks of solitary prayer & meditation - if it were a case of day & night, constantly speak to God. I think I would have to adopt one of Pete's techniques of sitting outside & singing gospel/worship songs as loudly & as regularly possible - instead of the occasional rendition of Kyrie Eleison.
I think spiritual retreat is always going to be useful, even if it is just a brief time away from the busy world. However unlike St. Antony, I don't think closeness to God can only be found or best be found in solitary life .. Some of my most heartfelt times with God come whilst I'm getting ready for work in the morning & recognising how much I need God & desire God's company with me during the day ahead. And Jesus talked too much about loving your neighbour for it to be acceptable for every person of faith to take themselves off from society. I know I'm going to grow more like Jesus by being surrounded by those who challenge me the most & those who love me the most. - What I would like the example of Pete Owen-Jones to teach me is that same level of habitual prayer, prayer without ceasing. No matter how much I recognise God's goodness & grace in the world around me, there's still so much more I can remember to thank God for & to rejoice in Him about.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/programmes/misc/extremepilgrim.shtml
As it turned out, Pete Owen-Jones won my respect. Yes, it was done for a tv documentary so there was lots of footage of camels and the Bedouin as Pete made his journey across the desert to the first ever monastery, as built by St. Antony & his followers. But it was the way in which he entered into his quest & then kept going that I admired the most. Taking a cave up in the mountains from the monastery, he was there by himself for three weeks to dedicate his time to prayer. His mentor, Father Lazurus (whose cave he was borrowing, whilst Lazarus moved further up into another cave) warned him beforehand of physical attacks of the spirit. The night before Pete moved into the cave, he was awake, scared & questioning: 'are the demons just in our heads?' or would they be coming to life around the cave he was living in?
As he got about four days in, he was beginning to feel like he couldn't carry on due to how lonely & homesick he was feeling, plus his inability to sleep with the magnified sound around him. He was questioning the theology of his situation - 'Why would a loving God, a loving Father want his children to go out alone to be surrounded by snakes?' I was rooting for him to keep going & draw strength from God to get past that point ... There was a brilliant moment when he was filming himself, sat out on the mountainside & suddenly he leant his head back & yelled skyward: 'why is all about You anyway?' Fantastic honesty! Yancey would applaud him, the sentiment spoken as though straight from the Psalms.
Two weeks in, he thought he was hearing footsteps coming down the mountain at night ... This turned out to be a note from Lazarus encouraging him to look ahead :) He admitted to being 'disturbingly self-reflective' - thinking over his life & what mattered most & why guilt should consumes us when we enjoy the simple pleasures of our lives. But towards the end of his stay, there was a notable difference in his attitude. Whereas before any of the filmed prayers said were mainly liturgical & looked like they were being said for the sake of it, there was a moment when he'd just finished cooking his dinner & he then bowed his head & literally gave thanks. It wasn't not a dutiful grace, but a heartfelt prayer for the only food he was having that day. - And that's what impressed me really - his perseverance which made him stay up there & the humility which enabled him to really learn from the experience, take stock & give thanks.
Pete's resulting conclusion was that his work, his ministry was most definitely out in the field, interacting with people & demonstrating God's love that way. But I think he also had a newfound respect for those like Father Lazarus who imagine themselves as all of mankind standing before God & spend their days praying alone. I've considered prayer to be a real privilege & a God-given gift, to know that we can go directly before our God & talk to Him & bring to Him our praise & concerns & troubles or just to spend time drawing closer to Him. But I can't imagine how much discipline would be required for three weeks of solitary prayer & meditation - if it were a case of day & night, constantly speak to God. I think I would have to adopt one of Pete's techniques of sitting outside & singing gospel/worship songs as loudly & as regularly possible - instead of the occasional rendition of Kyrie Eleison.
I think spiritual retreat is always going to be useful, even if it is just a brief time away from the busy world. However unlike St. Antony, I don't think closeness to God can only be found or best be found in solitary life .. Some of my most heartfelt times with God come whilst I'm getting ready for work in the morning & recognising how much I need God & desire God's company with me during the day ahead. And Jesus talked too much about loving your neighbour for it to be acceptable for every person of faith to take themselves off from society. I know I'm going to grow more like Jesus by being surrounded by those who challenge me the most & those who love me the most. - What I would like the example of Pete Owen-Jones to teach me is that same level of habitual prayer, prayer without ceasing. No matter how much I recognise God's goodness & grace in the world around me, there's still so much more I can remember to thank God for & to rejoice in Him about.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/programmes/misc/extremepilgrim.shtml