NRT (6) decision-making
.
the NEXT RIGHT THING:
Emily P. Freeman
14. Stop Collecting Gurus
◘ Evidence of your own guru collection may show up in spaces other than your inbox. Maybe it's the websites you visit, the books you read, the podcasts you subscribe to, or the actual real-life people you pursue. All of these have value, bring encouragement, and offer company, perspective, entertainment or education in some way ... the issue may not be about the teachers themselves but about their timing in your own life.
There may be some spaces, online or otherwise, that traditionally encourage you, but when you are working on a particular project or going through a difficult breakup or grouping a loss of a parent or whatever the case might be, the places that are historically good for you could become, for a time, not good for you. It’s important to get honest about that. [147]
◘ ... You know yourself better than anyone else. And maybe your next right thing is simply to step away (even temporarily) from photos, headlines, images, or updates that cause anxiety in your life. But this goes both ways. Bear in mind that, at some point, you may be the guru if someone needs to ignore - try not to take it personally.
.... We need to choose gurus or teachers or mentors who will offer plans that line with the vision we already have for our life, our work, and our ministry. If you don’t know where you’re going, specific directions won't really help, not until you see the big picture. If you feel frustrated and pulled in many directions like I have felt, it could be because you’ve been looking for advice about the journey even before you know or understand your hoped-for destination.
If you’ve been frantically searching outside of yourself for help with a plan but you feel untethered and directionless, maybe what you really need is to quiet down inside yourself and listen for a vision. Vision and purpose have to come from the quiet place within us first. Only then can we seek insight for the next right step to take that will align with our vision. That’s not to say that we are going to see a clear plan for life laid out before we can know our next right step. That’s the whole purpose of just doing the next right thing.
… I took my own advice. I got quiet. I took a walk. I stopped trying to wrestle clarity to the ground. I accepted the invitation to keep company with Jesus, not for the sake of a plan for the pleasure of his presence.
The natural result of being with him is I remember who I am.. I’m grateful for the vision we continue to uncovered together and I feel more prepared to find the gurus mentors and teachers I’ll need to help me craft a plan that makes sense. [148 - 149]
◘◘ podcast
* As we grasp for answers, be our One Sure Thing.
We trust you as our Teacher.
Reveal to us the story our inboxes.., bookshelves & journals are trying to tell us.
In your presence, we are safe to see & tell the truth.
Show us where we are frantically grasping for guidance
& replace the darkened pathway with your light,
the foggy future with your peace,
& our longing for security with your confidence.
Bring to us the mentors & teachers we need for the journey.
May we have the wisdom to trust our own inner voice
as we are united with You in love.
15. Gather Co-Listeners
◘ ... Sometimes it looks like you’re going nowhere, or that you’re headed in the wrong direction. ... The point is becoming more fully ourselves in the presence of God, connecting with him & with each other, and living our lives as though we believe he is good & beautiful. The point is about being honest about where you are and what you need, and then looking around in your own community for people to walk with you and with whom you can walk.
... I’m convinced God is less interested in where we end up than he is in who we are becoming. Whether we’re employed or unemployed, encouraged or discouraged, filled with vision or fumbling in the fog, more than anything, our Father just wants to be with us. The most common way he shows his with-ness to us is in the actual, physical presence of other people. [157]
◘ ... the longer I walk with our Father God, our friend Jesus, and the Holy Spirit who lives and dwells within us, the more I [believe] he isn’t so concerned with the outcome of our decision, at least not in the same way we are. But he would be delighted to know that the decision we are carrying is moving us toward community and not away from it, that it is leading us to depend on others more and not less, and that it is turning our face toward his with a posture of listening with the hopeful expectation of receiving an answer.
.... maybe we don’t have to worry so much about what’s going to happen next. Rather we can sit down on the inside and receive what’s happening now, within us, beneath the rowdy surface, in the quiet center of our soul.
If you’re standing at the crossroad of transition and you aren’t sure which way to go, as you seek people in your life who can stand beside you, and as you are becoming a person who stands beside others, take heart ~
the Lord is always with you and within you, beside you and before you. He is not impatient, he is not angry, he is not overwhelmed by you. He is not frustrated, fed up, or afraid. He is filled with compassion toward you and his banner over you is love. [160]
*
The point is not a decision, a plan, or clarity.
The point is always union with you.
We want to remember that even in the midst of uncertainty,
you remain faithful & true.
◘◘ podcast
16. Choose Your Absence
. . . (vanity or value)
"A great opportunity"
◘ Every new opportunity seems to have potential, at least at first. ... invisible questions that hover beneath the surface raise their hands up high & seem to finally get some answers: Do I have what it takes? Am I wanted? Do I belong? For a moment, the invitation seems to shout a resounding yes! You have been asked, chosen, and invited. You are seen and valued. Come! Teach! Lead! Volunteer!
.. You may have a tendency to say yes as a default to these kinds of opportunities. Over time, these reactionary yeses can take their toll, & they could be the phantom cause of your current decision fatigue & lack of true presence in your own life. [166]
... just because someone presents an idea as a great one does not make it so. Every opportunity is not created equal and you get to decide along with God whether something is great for you or not. .. Things often seem great when we leave them in ambiguity.
Will you get paid for this?
Are the expectations clear?
Would you actually enjoy it?
Is it something you’ve alway wanted to do?
If you were in a room of people and this was called out into the crowd, would you raise your hand to volunteer for it? [167]
.. If you have a decision to make about something you think might be a great opportunity, force yourself to finish this sentence: “I want to say yes to this because it would be a great opportunity to _______.”
… See the world
… Love my neighbor
… Learn a new skill
… Meet new people
… Be with my kids
… Make one million dollars
… Serve my family
… Grow my business
... the next question is this:
is this a season of your life where you are working on [that] ?
Is that part of what you’ve already decided is a high priority right now? If yes - then go for it! [168 - 169]
* No automatic yeses.
* No FOMO.
Choose your absence so that your presence will have more impact.
But if you keep your true values before you - what really matters - this will help you not to make decisions based on vanity - what will impress other people.
Your work is your work.
Your pace is your pace.
Your life is your life.
What a gift. [171]
◘◘ podcast
* Jesus, in you we have a friend who never requires a long road back.
We admit if often feels as though we’ve hustled our way far off the path,
but the truth is you are never far away.
We don’t have to retrace our hurried steps to find our way to you again.
We simply turn around, and there you are, walking right along
with us in the weeds, finding your way with us in the dark,
ready to be enough for us in every situation.
Be our courage as we discern the difference between our values and our vanity.
Relieve our decision fatigue today, and be gentle with us, we pray.
... Previous chapters 11, 12 & 13
the NEXT RIGHT THING:
Emily P. Freeman
14. Stop Collecting Gurus
◘ Evidence of your own guru collection may show up in spaces other than your inbox. Maybe it's the websites you visit, the books you read, the podcasts you subscribe to, or the actual real-life people you pursue. All of these have value, bring encouragement, and offer company, perspective, entertainment or education in some way ... the issue may not be about the teachers themselves but about their timing in your own life.
There may be some spaces, online or otherwise, that traditionally encourage you, but when you are working on a particular project or going through a difficult breakup or grouping a loss of a parent or whatever the case might be, the places that are historically good for you could become, for a time, not good for you. It’s important to get honest about that. [147]
◘ ... You know yourself better than anyone else. And maybe your next right thing is simply to step away (even temporarily) from photos, headlines, images, or updates that cause anxiety in your life. But this goes both ways. Bear in mind that, at some point, you may be the guru if someone needs to ignore - try not to take it personally.
.... We need to choose gurus or teachers or mentors who will offer plans that line with the vision we already have for our life, our work, and our ministry. If you don’t know where you’re going, specific directions won't really help, not until you see the big picture. If you feel frustrated and pulled in many directions like I have felt, it could be because you’ve been looking for advice about the journey even before you know or understand your hoped-for destination.
If you’ve been frantically searching outside of yourself for help with a plan but you feel untethered and directionless, maybe what you really need is to quiet down inside yourself and listen for a vision. Vision and purpose have to come from the quiet place within us first. Only then can we seek insight for the next right step to take that will align with our vision. That’s not to say that we are going to see a clear plan for life laid out before we can know our next right step. That’s the whole purpose of just doing the next right thing.
… I took my own advice. I got quiet. I took a walk. I stopped trying to wrestle clarity to the ground. I accepted the invitation to keep company with Jesus, not for the sake of a plan for the pleasure of his presence.
The natural result of being with him is I remember who I am.. I’m grateful for the vision we continue to uncovered together and I feel more prepared to find the gurus mentors and teachers I’ll need to help me craft a plan that makes sense. [148 - 149]
◘◘ podcast
* As we grasp for answers, be our One Sure Thing.
We trust you as our Teacher.
Reveal to us the story our inboxes.., bookshelves & journals are trying to tell us.
In your presence, we are safe to see & tell the truth.
Show us where we are frantically grasping for guidance
& replace the darkened pathway with your light,
the foggy future with your peace,
& our longing for security with your confidence.
Bring to us the mentors & teachers we need for the journey.
May we have the wisdom to trust our own inner voice
as we are united with You in love.
15. Gather Co-Listeners
◘ ... Sometimes it looks like you’re going nowhere, or that you’re headed in the wrong direction. ... The point is becoming more fully ourselves in the presence of God, connecting with him & with each other, and living our lives as though we believe he is good & beautiful. The point is about being honest about where you are and what you need, and then looking around in your own community for people to walk with you and with whom you can walk.
... I’m convinced God is less interested in where we end up than he is in who we are becoming. Whether we’re employed or unemployed, encouraged or discouraged, filled with vision or fumbling in the fog, more than anything, our Father just wants to be with us. The most common way he shows his with-ness to us is in the actual, physical presence of other people. [157]
◘ ... the longer I walk with our Father God, our friend Jesus, and the Holy Spirit who lives and dwells within us, the more I [believe] he isn’t so concerned with the outcome of our decision, at least not in the same way we are. But he would be delighted to know that the decision we are carrying is moving us toward community and not away from it, that it is leading us to depend on others more and not less, and that it is turning our face toward his with a posture of listening with the hopeful expectation of receiving an answer.
.... maybe we don’t have to worry so much about what’s going to happen next. Rather we can sit down on the inside and receive what’s happening now, within us, beneath the rowdy surface, in the quiet center of our soul.
If you’re standing at the crossroad of transition and you aren’t sure which way to go, as you seek people in your life who can stand beside you, and as you are becoming a person who stands beside others, take heart ~
the Lord is always with you and within you, beside you and before you. He is not impatient, he is not angry, he is not overwhelmed by you. He is not frustrated, fed up, or afraid. He is filled with compassion toward you and his banner over you is love. [160]
*
The point is not a decision, a plan, or clarity.
The point is always union with you.
We want to remember that even in the midst of uncertainty,
you remain faithful & true.
◘◘ podcast
16. Choose Your Absence
. . . (vanity or value)
"A great opportunity"
◘ Every new opportunity seems to have potential, at least at first. ... invisible questions that hover beneath the surface raise their hands up high & seem to finally get some answers: Do I have what it takes? Am I wanted? Do I belong? For a moment, the invitation seems to shout a resounding yes! You have been asked, chosen, and invited. You are seen and valued. Come! Teach! Lead! Volunteer!
.. You may have a tendency to say yes as a default to these kinds of opportunities. Over time, these reactionary yeses can take their toll, & they could be the phantom cause of your current decision fatigue & lack of true presence in your own life. [166]
... just because someone presents an idea as a great one does not make it so. Every opportunity is not created equal and you get to decide along with God whether something is great for you or not. .. Things often seem great when we leave them in ambiguity.
Will you get paid for this?
Are the expectations clear?
Would you actually enjoy it?
Is it something you’ve alway wanted to do?
If you were in a room of people and this was called out into the crowd, would you raise your hand to volunteer for it? [167]
.. If you have a decision to make about something you think might be a great opportunity, force yourself to finish this sentence: “I want to say yes to this because it would be a great opportunity to _______.”
… See the world
… Love my neighbor
… Learn a new skill
… Meet new people
… Be with my kids
… Make one million dollars
… Serve my family
… Grow my business
... the next question is this:
is this a season of your life where you are working on [that] ?
Is that part of what you’ve already decided is a high priority right now? If yes - then go for it! [168 - 169]
* No automatic yeses.
* No FOMO.
Choose your absence so that your presence will have more impact.
But if you keep your true values before you - what really matters - this will help you not to make decisions based on vanity - what will impress other people.
Your work is your work.
Your pace is your pace.
Your life is your life.
What a gift. [171]
◘◘ podcast
* Jesus, in you we have a friend who never requires a long road back.
We admit if often feels as though we’ve hustled our way far off the path,
but the truth is you are never far away.
We don’t have to retrace our hurried steps to find our way to you again.
We simply turn around, and there you are, walking right along
with us in the weeds, finding your way with us in the dark,
ready to be enough for us in every situation.
Be our courage as we discern the difference between our values and our vanity.
Relieve our decision fatigue today, and be gentle with us, we pray.
... Previous chapters 11, 12 & 13