When it rains it Pours...
So a few weeks ago my Sister in law lost her kids. The state took them away because she is kind of a lousy mother. I want to say it nicer but it's really the truth. I already looked into the laws about foster care and Ryan and I are unable to do it but of course no one else in the family has stepped up either. No one wants them bc the boys have such severe behavior issues. My hear is really breaking for them. I then found out yesterday through my father in law that The oldest boy Tyler who is about Two and a half is being thrown around different foster homes over and over again because no one can deal with him. My heart just breaks for my nephews. I am saying alot of prayers that someone will be able to handle poor Tyler.
Last night I had a pretty big argument with my husband. One of those were you stay up to three am. I wasn't exactly an argument but I finally asked for the truth for insecurities that I had for a long while. He finally confirmed them. Once the flood gates open up, he just couldn't stop himself. Like all that he had been holding in had been killing him. He just keep going and going about everything. I asked for confirmation not every freaking feeling detail. Ugh. So Now I guess you could tell me that I can't handle the truth. (lol, I tend to crack lame jokes when I am upset) But really Lord Help me Because I didn't want to know this much. I don't know if my heart can handle this much. I have been forcing myself to eat abc with an ileostomy if you don't eat you will end up in the ER really fast. In my ladies bible study group, there are two amazing woman both have husbands you just up and walked out on them with no warning. One has been praying for his return for 6months and one has been praying for Seven years. Neither views Divorce as an option. When they were telling their stories I looked up to them for their strength and then thought, "Im glad Ryan isn't that kind of guy." Now with last night I realized he just might be. I know my job is just to do what I am instructed by God to do but these are the times when ones faith is really tested by God. I sent a text to my only friend who I can really tell the entire story to without worrying about repercussions. I can only hope there is a few minutes in their day to talk.
I am ready for a break already
Last night I had a pretty big argument with my husband. One of those were you stay up to three am. I wasn't exactly an argument but I finally asked for the truth for insecurities that I had for a long while. He finally confirmed them. Once the flood gates open up, he just couldn't stop himself. Like all that he had been holding in had been killing him. He just keep going and going about everything. I asked for confirmation not every freaking feeling detail. Ugh. So Now I guess you could tell me that I can't handle the truth. (lol, I tend to crack lame jokes when I am upset) But really Lord Help me Because I didn't want to know this much. I don't know if my heart can handle this much. I have been forcing myself to eat abc with an ileostomy if you don't eat you will end up in the ER really fast. In my ladies bible study group, there are two amazing woman both have husbands you just up and walked out on them with no warning. One has been praying for his return for 6months and one has been praying for Seven years. Neither views Divorce as an option. When they were telling their stories I looked up to them for their strength and then thought, "Im glad Ryan isn't that kind of guy." Now with last night I realized he just might be. I know my job is just to do what I am instructed by God to do but these are the times when ones faith is really tested by God. I sent a text to my only friend who I can really tell the entire story to without worrying about repercussions. I can only hope there is a few minutes in their day to talk.
I am ready for a break already