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✗Step 2: For a look at what we're expecting from an application please refer to the app guide.
✗Step 3: Fill out the text box below!
✗Step 4: Post your application in comments below. Note: Links to applications stored on journals will not be reviewed. We require applications to be submitted in comments.
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Betsy Braddock's life has been a series of metamorphoses, mirroring the butterfly image that often accompanies her psychic abilities. Her mind was stolen from her, her body and life were stolen from her, and when she was brought back, she felt as though a part of her soul had been stolen from her as well. A darkness set in Betsy's mind after that, a darkness that lead to insanity that often left those around her wondering just how much of a death wish she had.
The truth is, it's a pretty big death wish. It's not exactly a conscious thing, it's not as if she spends too much time thinking on it, but it's there. She says herself that she's left with a hollow and empty feeling inside of herself, a feeling that's left her feeling dead since her return to life. She's become dulled to a lot of things she was once moved by, including killing. There was a time that all of the X-Men followed the same credo of "X-Men don't kill", that time seems to have passed for Betsy at least. When she helps a group of the younger X-Men end up fighting with someone that almost killed them, Betsy suggests they just kill him there to avoid future tragedy, when Mercury tells her that X-Men don't kill, she just shrugs the girl off as an idealist.
Betsy herself is far from an idealist anymore, there's a part of her that regrets losing that part of herself, but she accepts that it's gone. Sometimes, she frightens herself with how cold she can be, and the things she's recently done, but she doesn't try to change. Instead, she just keeps going in the same direction, further towards the darkness, rather than away from it. This path has recently lead her to do somewhat twisted things in the name of revenge, things that she only seems partially bothered by doing. She's only paused to question what she's done after the fact, and it doesn't seem like she spends too much time dwelling on it. That's because if she does, then she won't be able to keep going, and she has to keep going. That isn't to say she doesn't feel guilt over things, or shame. She does, it's just easier to bury them deeply, and in truth, there are some things she doesn't feel guilt over. Some of the things she's done for vengeance were things she was almost pleased to do.
Guilt is something that haunts Betsy a lot lately, guilt over the things X-Force has done, guilt over the pleasure she's taken in some of the things she's done, and guilt over the loss of Warren, which she blames herself for greatly. She keeps most of this to herself because along with the guilt, there's a lot of shame. She spends quite a bit of time wondering just what her twin brother, Brian Braddock, would think of what she's become and what she's done. In fact, she's so worried about this that she creates an entire simulated session in X-Force's headquarters where she has a fake conversation with Brian telling him about what she's done and seeking his understanding and love. She refuses to speak about what she was doing when she was in there, but it's clear that the things she's done weigh heavy on her mind, despite what she projects to others.
She puts on a cold facade, a calm mask for the world to see, despite just how shaken she is on the inside. There are times when she comes off as abrasive and sharp, and times when she just comes off as cold and distant. She's also a very controlled person, keeping a lot of who she is inside of her, while carefully controlling everything about what she presents to the outside. For a long time her life was out of her control, now that she has control back she tries to keep control of everything around her. It's a tense kind of control, one that comes from someone that spends a lot of time in focused meditation. It's rare for her to lose her temper, but it can be pretty dangerous when she does. She really has two types of anger, cold and controlled and furious bursts. It depends on how much anger she's pent up inside of herself at the time.
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