insert subject here
10 minutes of 2am. Lots of stuff to write about. Oh where should I start? I don't really even remember anything from this morning. I know I didn't do much...think Ana was over for a little. We wanted to go check out the many apartment complex places on the southside, no car though. Supposed to meet Mike tomorrow about that car...hopefully it'll actually happen. God knows how many times I've told someone..."Getting that car tomorrow..." Whatever. I think we feel asleep on the couch for a little while. I was really pissed, called ticketmaster, ready to flip out, "where are my tickets bitch?!" Then I gave up. We left, time to walk to her house...mail came...HEY! these my tickets?! hell ya! DAMN right bitch! So they came...time for more phone calls. Damn court. Had to ask them. Guess they weren't too happy bout that. oh well...fuck em. Dad gave me shit. Told me I never mentioned that it was in Springfield MA. Said he wouldn't have given me permission. I looked at him like he was an alien...I wasn't looking for your permission...in fact I never once asked for it. There is another perspective to someone not telling you something...maybe you didn't hear it. Idiot. Drives me nuts. Want to love him. Don't think I can till I leave the house. 4pm psychiatrist appointment. Stopped by Stacy's first...needed to give her a hug an' kiss...nothing else. Just a good squeeze. (I smell cream...craving the cream...damn man...sorry about the random thoughts...) 5 minutes with Stacy, then over to the southside...Dr. Attiullah. Actually not that bad. Appointments suck though. I just want someone I can talk to. Is that so bad? Is that so hard? I hate all these people I've got to spill my guts to. It's not even real anymore...no longer is it my life. It's a story. Storytime kids! Gather round! Done with the Dr. pretty quickly...4.30pm. New prescription. Asked her bout ritalin, opinion? She thought it'd be good for me, need to get leveled first. I agree. Need to move out. Need my own apartment. Left the office, now out cruisin' wrote down some numbers. "Housing services" "Apartment complex" yada yada yada. Da hood. Da projos nigga. Nice ones...but the projos none the less. Cheap :-) Going to call tomorrow. Wanted to hug Stacy again...Stopped by again, 5pm. Squeeze. :-P Cuddle on the couch. mmmmm....so comforting. This was the high point in the day :-) Could have fallen asleep right then...home by 5.30...damn. Quickie? alright...but no condoms...lemme run to cvs. :-) kkks...be right back. 5 minutes. Gonna have to be REALLY quick. 5.30...need to be home. Mom home at 5.30 too. Boy would that be bad...if she walked in on us. Yea...well we'd hear her come up the stairs first. Got in position...get in the motion...mmmm...what's that? Guess we didn't hear her come up the stairs...quick the pjs on, shove it in...no time to even take off condom...shove that shit in there! Button pants, no zippin fly. Let's cuddle. We clearly look all fucked up...yes...we were just having sex. Well we had just started. You freaked us out, don't mind our not-all-there-ness. Talk about Wednesday's trip to Boston...kks. Weird with a condom still on your cock...oh well. Try to take it off...fuck it...later. Got to get home. Shelly's waiting in kitchen...poor thing had to talk to dad...uh. damn. Upstairs...grab the shit and go. Clean out pockets, get tickets, need some money, where are the directions? shitz. Take this fucking condom off! Where'd it go? not there anymore...uh oh...whatever. Who gives a fuck. Nick'll probably find it. That'd suck. Ha! Oh well...can't do anything now. Quick look for it on the way out. Off to Thayer...need some food. Antonio's burritos...damn yummy.
Daily Overview
April 12, 2004
A past relationship -- business or personal -- is about to step back into the spotlight for one last honorary mention. Stop thinking wistfully about what might have been -- even if you're looking into their eyes. Instead, think about what's possible now.
How'd it know bout Shelly and I?! fuck me. Damn crazy bitch. Off to Springfield. Weird hanging out with Shelly. She remembers alot more about what happen than I do. Too many drugs back then. No trouble getting to Springfield...hippodrome downtown...easy to find.
Smack crazy. Jumpin ahead...park couple blocks away, walk over, stand in line, searched, bathroom, tshirts, 30 bucks too much for me, Shelly bought one though...cute :-) Dropbox was playing. Into the crowd...just stand and hang out. They were ok. Only ok. New album, out tomorrow...well actually today. Ill nino, saw them only 3 months ago. Excited to see them again :-) Crowd pussy...Started the nino's first pit that night. People kinda sucked though. Played well...anticipating Smack so yea...jump ahead again. Drinks. 30 year old hitting on me. You were in the pit I can see. Yep :-) That's me...no concert without moshin. All sweaty I know...don't mind...I'll rum myself all over you...Where'd you go Shelly! Save me...not that bad...but you know. She's totally stoned. Kinda cute...but totally stoned. Talking amused me...hehe I'm so evil. Bought us drinks...dunno what they even were...club soda and something else. Citrus something probably. Bought water for the pit. Essential. 2 bottles, 1 in each cargo. Save em damn it! Shelly gonna drive, time to drink hers. The girls wanted to follow us..."bring us up front" ...ks... Jump ahead. Smack comes on...Opens with Straight out of Line...first 5 songs seamless (seamless? or faceless?). Absolutely no pause between the 5...lots of music...yummy...Keep Away, Re-align, Bad Religion, something else too...don't remember...there were 5 though. Short breather...how's it goin' SPRINGFIELD?! Jesus...Love Sully. Reminded me why he's so great. To the people in the balcony; Why all you fuckers up there? The fucks wrong with you? Sully made so much fun of them. With a tshirt like that you should know by now you can't come here and be up there. mmm....many more remarks...all funny. More songs. Beautiful. In the pit the ENTIRE time Smack played...did not leave ONCE. proud of myself. couple more songs...Sully hops in his drum set...crazy like 50 piece wrap around shit...it's a duel, they duke it out...solid 20 minute drum solos. Battlin...having fun...showing off. Great. Felt like I was in a rave. Danced. Danced and Danced. oh and guess what? I danced...ALOT. I'm sure I made a fool of myself...whatever. I had fun. I'm sure everyone thought I was high on something. People asked me later. Just high on Smack. mmmm....good night. Voodoo...hell ya. Lovely...dance and sing sing sing...mmmm...trippin in a trance I was...Awake. Time to leave. Big faceless backdrop splits in 2...exit. Shit...they can't leave now. They'll be back...let the crowd go nuts...we did...started pounding on the floor. :-) Serenity...oh yea...fuck me...so great. Stop now? fuck no...I stand Alone...wow...crazy shits. Nuts nuts nuts...that's it...Damn I love them. Found that guy...the one I knocked out. Oh I didn't tell ya...k in the pit...dunno what happened guy hits my collar bone...hard. Fuckin smashed his mouth. Out cold on the ground...guys pick him up, slappin in the face...wake up dude. the fuck...shit. Hope he doesn't wake up an flip out on my ass...wakes up...oh so out of it. Crazy shit. Lip's all bloody. Nose fucked up an red. oops...did I do that? Didn't mean it! Hug. You'll be fine. hehe...he was fine. Talked to him later...yea he was fucked up...another big bump on his head too. Oh well. Fun fun...I've got my fair share of that anyway. Think my eye is fucked...cheek too. Knee tender, back aches...neck icky...oh well...lots of fun. Those 2 drinks were nice...very relaxed...spent a lot of time in my rag doll mosh...go with the flow...fun. fun fun fun. Don't think I said fun enough? well it was fun fun fun....mmmmm....after...fuck where's Shelly? Couldn't find her during the show...only really tried once...wanted to sing moon baby to her...old story...first godsmack with mandy, shelly, and holly, mmmm oh yea :-) Moon baby damn good song. So anywho...find Shelly. Where's your shirt? Ripped off! the fuck...jesus...help me find it...kkks Sidetracked...bouncers tossin guitar picks all over the place...shit. Didn't get any...everyone grabbed em up. Pray to the Smack Gods...give up...it's not worth it. Not gonna find anything. Did give up...lookin for Shelly's shirt...fuck that too...look for Shelly...HEY! that a guitar pick?! hell ya! guess the Smack Gods WERE listening...good karma? Must do more good things for people...keep it up! Found Shelly...talk to more people. Time to leave...Out side...walkin away...it's raining! Fuck I'm cold! jesus...shit back on. Hot dogs...2 bucks...fuck why not. I'll eat anything at this point. shirts...10 bucks! *does a dance* hell ya...no fuckin 30 bones...10 bucks baby! *another dance* find the car...get in warm shit. Drunks yellin at us...please don't come after us...go away...time to drive. 90 south...shitz...think we passed mass pike exits and roads...off at next exit...food? hey there's a motel 8...we'll ask. Can you help us with some directions? we're looking for mass pike...well Mass is that way *point* the thought in my head...we're NOT in mass? The fuck...where are we? Enfield Conn. The fuck happened...shitz. kks time to backtrack. kks. hey! signs for mass pike...guess that worked. Driving is shit...Raining like fuckin nuts...Shelly goin fast...trunks going nuts...sprayin shit everywhere can barely see the lanes...grr...whatever...made it back. we're safe... k I'm done time to sleep...dentist at 8am...shitz
side note to Stacy... *muah* guess who? love you...
Daily Overview
April 12, 2004
A past relationship -- business or personal -- is about to step back into the spotlight for one last honorary mention. Stop thinking wistfully about what might have been -- even if you're looking into their eyes. Instead, think about what's possible now.
How'd it know bout Shelly and I?! fuck me. Damn crazy bitch. Off to Springfield. Weird hanging out with Shelly. She remembers alot more about what happen than I do. Too many drugs back then. No trouble getting to Springfield...hippodrome downtown...easy to find.
Smack crazy. Jumpin ahead...park couple blocks away, walk over, stand in line, searched, bathroom, tshirts, 30 bucks too much for me, Shelly bought one though...cute :-) Dropbox was playing. Into the crowd...just stand and hang out. They were ok. Only ok. New album, out tomorrow...well actually today. Ill nino, saw them only 3 months ago. Excited to see them again :-) Crowd pussy...Started the nino's first pit that night. People kinda sucked though. Played well...anticipating Smack so yea...jump ahead again. Drinks. 30 year old hitting on me. You were in the pit I can see. Yep :-) That's me...no concert without moshin. All sweaty I know...don't mind...I'll rum myself all over you...Where'd you go Shelly! Save me...not that bad...but you know. She's totally stoned. Kinda cute...but totally stoned. Talking amused me...hehe I'm so evil. Bought us drinks...dunno what they even were...club soda and something else. Citrus something probably. Bought water for the pit. Essential. 2 bottles, 1 in each cargo. Save em damn it! Shelly gonna drive, time to drink hers. The girls wanted to follow us..."bring us up front" ...ks... Jump ahead. Smack comes on...Opens with Straight out of Line...first 5 songs seamless (seamless? or faceless?). Absolutely no pause between the 5...lots of music...yummy...Keep Away, Re-align, Bad Religion, something else too...don't remember...there were 5 though. Short breather...how's it goin' SPRINGFIELD?! Jesus...Love Sully. Reminded me why he's so great. To the people in the balcony; Why all you fuckers up there? The fucks wrong with you? Sully made so much fun of them. With a tshirt like that you should know by now you can't come here and be up there. mmm....many more remarks...all funny. More songs. Beautiful. In the pit the ENTIRE time Smack played...did not leave ONCE. proud of myself. couple more songs...Sully hops in his drum set...crazy like 50 piece wrap around shit...it's a duel, they duke it out...solid 20 minute drum solos. Battlin...having fun...showing off. Great. Felt like I was in a rave. Danced. Danced and Danced. oh and guess what? I danced...ALOT. I'm sure I made a fool of myself...whatever. I had fun. I'm sure everyone thought I was high on something. People asked me later. Just high on Smack. mmmm....good night. Voodoo...hell ya. Lovely...dance and sing sing sing...mmmm...trippin in a trance I was...Awake. Time to leave. Big faceless backdrop splits in 2...exit. Shit...they can't leave now. They'll be back...let the crowd go nuts...we did...started pounding on the floor. :-) Serenity...oh yea...fuck me...so great. Stop now? fuck no...I stand Alone...wow...crazy shits. Nuts nuts nuts...that's it...Damn I love them. Found that guy...the one I knocked out. Oh I didn't tell ya...k in the pit...dunno what happened guy hits my collar bone...hard. Fuckin smashed his mouth. Out cold on the ground...guys pick him up, slappin in the face...wake up dude. the fuck...shit. Hope he doesn't wake up an flip out on my ass...wakes up...oh so out of it. Crazy shit. Lip's all bloody. Nose fucked up an red. oops...did I do that? Didn't mean it! Hug. You'll be fine. hehe...he was fine. Talked to him later...yea he was fucked up...another big bump on his head too. Oh well. Fun fun...I've got my fair share of that anyway. Think my eye is fucked...cheek too. Knee tender, back aches...neck icky...oh well...lots of fun. Those 2 drinks were nice...very relaxed...spent a lot of time in my rag doll mosh...go with the flow...fun. fun fun fun. Don't think I said fun enough? well it was fun fun fun....mmmmm....after...fuck where's Shelly? Couldn't find her during the show...only really tried once...wanted to sing moon baby to her...old story...first godsmack with mandy, shelly, and holly, mmmm oh yea :-) Moon baby damn good song. So anywho...find Shelly. Where's your shirt? Ripped off! the fuck...jesus...help me find it...kkks Sidetracked...bouncers tossin guitar picks all over the place...shit. Didn't get any...everyone grabbed em up. Pray to the Smack Gods...give up...it's not worth it. Not gonna find anything. Did give up...lookin for Shelly's shirt...fuck that too...look for Shelly...HEY! that a guitar pick?! hell ya! guess the Smack Gods WERE listening...good karma? Must do more good things for people...keep it up! Found Shelly...talk to more people. Time to leave...Out side...walkin away...it's raining! Fuck I'm cold! jesus...shit back on. Hot dogs...2 bucks...fuck why not. I'll eat anything at this point. shirts...10 bucks! *does a dance* hell ya...no fuckin 30 bones...10 bucks baby! *another dance* find the car...get in warm shit. Drunks yellin at us...please don't come after us...go away...time to drive. 90 south...shitz...think we passed mass pike exits and roads...off at next exit...food? hey there's a motel 8...we'll ask. Can you help us with some directions? we're looking for mass pike...well Mass is that way *point* the thought in my head...we're NOT in mass? The fuck...where are we? Enfield Conn. The fuck happened...shitz. kks time to backtrack. kks. hey! signs for mass pike...guess that worked. Driving is shit...Raining like fuckin nuts...Shelly goin fast...trunks going nuts...sprayin shit everywhere can barely see the lanes...grr...whatever...made it back. we're safe... k I'm done time to sleep...dentist at 8am...shitz
side note to Stacy... *muah* guess who? love you...