Life As I See It...
It seems as though forever has passed since I last took the time to document the story of my life in this form. There is finally enough of a calm in my life to be able to take the time out and update anyone who might actually care enough to read this. My life has been filled with some chaos school wise, but also filled with joys... please enjoy and feel free to comment when you are done.
Ian and I have now been dating almost 3 months, it will be 3 months on the 20th of this month. Wow, how time flies when you are having fun. In some ways it is hard to believe it has been that long, and yet in other ways it's hard to believe that it hasn't been longer. I truly feel like God has brought us together and blessed this relationship. He has been there for me through some pretty trying times emotionally, mentally and spiritually. He has seen me go through periods of doubt, doubting myself and whether I am good enough to be his girlfriend. Yet, he has continued to stand by my side. I can't say it has been perfect because there have been a few times when we made each other upset for a little bit.If there wasn't those times though, I might think it wasn't real.
It is real though, it's true that I am giving my heart to another person and putting my trust in him to not hurt me like others have in the past. I am no longer trying to control everything, but instead kind of taking a step back and letting God lead in this one. I am finding that is a much more pleasant way to live life.
God has truly been working and taking the lead of this relationship. Ian and I never thought it would be this serious this soon. We can't picture being with anyone else. We honestly feel like we are the people that God has made to be together, we are soul mates. I am so in love with him.
March 18th.... I had planned a nice day for Ian and I. I knew he had never been up to Multnomah Falls so I thought that I would take him there. I had written him a little something special and I wanted to read it to him while standing on the bridge. I read it to him and he looked at me with tears almost falling from his eyes and then told me he had a surprise for me too. It was then that he took out a ring and made me promises and put it on my finger. I could not have been happier or more surprised. When we called his parents, they were very excited for us. All of his family and friends seem to be very happy about us being promised to each other. I think it is easier for them because majority of them have met me and they love me. I fit so well into their family, I get along with all of them and I feel like they truly care about me and want Ian and me to be happy. It was a little more difficult when I told my dad. I procrastinated a little bit because I wasn’t sure how to tell him and was worried that he would be upset with me. In the end, he ended up being really surprised, but saying he was happy for me.
I feel like my relationship with Ian has not only strengthened, but also helped me grow as a person. Ian helps me look at myself in a whole different way, probably very similar to the way that God looks at me. Slowly I am learning that I am who I am and that really is okay. There will be times when I don't do something exactly right, but I will always have God. I am being reminded that I can run to the arms of God and let Him hold me like a little child and comfort me. No longer do I have to let myself be held down by darkness, but instead I am learning to break those chains and walk to the light. I used to just let myself get pulled back down and not fight back, but not anymore. Ian has not only stood up for me, but at points even taken me and shaken me. He is one of the few people that can get through to me and actually get me to open up and tell him what is going on in my mind. He lets me know that I don't always have to be so strong, he lets me open up my heart and he doesn't care about me any less. He understands that sometimes I just need to hide those thoughts away, but he is willing to be there when I am ready to talk about it.
He has also been there to celebrate good times with me. He was so proud of me just like I was proud of myself when I told him I get to be an "Inspiration Girl" at Curves. This means that I am one of two ladies who get to have their before and after pictures along with a little testimonial up on a poster on the wall. The purpose of this is so that other people can see what I have accomplished and be inspired by it. I felt truly blessed and honored to be asked.
Yesterday I finished my work sample, which was a huge project. It ended up being over 70 pages long. I don’t even want to think about how many hours I put into that project. I hope that I get a good grade on it. I worked really hard. I feel bad because I didn’t get to focus as much on my friends or on Ian as I wanted to because I was working on it. Once I was done, Ian, Renee and I all cheered because we all know how hard I had been working on it.
I did get to take a chance to do something fun this weekend though. Ian and I went to the Boat Dance that my school puts on. He never went to his high school proms, so this was quite a big thing for us. My friend Mary came over and helped me to do my hair and make-up. I totally felt like a princess. When Ian arrived, he totally did a double take and kept telling me how beautiful I was. While we were driving to the dance, he kept staring at me. When I finally looked at him and asked him why he kept staring at me, he smiled and told me he was still captivated by how beautiful I am. According to him, I was 13 out of 10. We got to see some of my friends who were all looking great too. He was being much more social than I think I expected him to be. There were some songs that we couldn’t really dance to or we didn’t want to dance to, but for the most part we had fun dancing together. The dance was on the Portland Spirit. The boat went up and down the Willamette River. Ian really enjoyed getting to go under the bridges and looking up at them. This was a new experience for him. The night was cool, but not super cold, so we had the opportunity to stand out on the deck for periods of time.
They didn’t really play slow songs at the dance, so when Ian and I got back to my place, we turned on God Blessed the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts. This is one of our favorite songs and one that we feel kind of describes our relationship and our lives. It was so romantic to have him holding me in his arms and dancing with him to that song. I put my head on his shoulder and danced with him. We also danced the John Michael Montgomery song called “I Swear.” The night was amazing and he ended it by tucking me into bed, praying for us and then blessing me. I love what a big part of our relationship God holds.
I look forward to this weekend coming up. Ian and I are going to go to Montana this weekend and spending Easter with his family. We haven’t had a chance to see his mom and dad in a while and I have never met his sister or her family. He wants to take me to Montana and show me his old house and area where he used to live before the house is officially sold and no longer belong to his parents. I have driven through Montana before, but I can’t recall a time when I have stayed there. I am not really looking forward to the long drive, but at least I get to spend that time with him. I think it will be a very fun weekend. It will be a nice way to relax and de-stress from all the stresses that have been present at school lately.
Overall, life is treating me very well. I feel very blessed and I continue to thank God for the many blessings He has given me in my life. I pray that He will continue to bless me and watch over all those who I care about and love.
Ian and I have now been dating almost 3 months, it will be 3 months on the 20th of this month. Wow, how time flies when you are having fun. In some ways it is hard to believe it has been that long, and yet in other ways it's hard to believe that it hasn't been longer. I truly feel like God has brought us together and blessed this relationship. He has been there for me through some pretty trying times emotionally, mentally and spiritually. He has seen me go through periods of doubt, doubting myself and whether I am good enough to be his girlfriend. Yet, he has continued to stand by my side. I can't say it has been perfect because there have been a few times when we made each other upset for a little bit.If there wasn't those times though, I might think it wasn't real.
It is real though, it's true that I am giving my heart to another person and putting my trust in him to not hurt me like others have in the past. I am no longer trying to control everything, but instead kind of taking a step back and letting God lead in this one. I am finding that is a much more pleasant way to live life.
God has truly been working and taking the lead of this relationship. Ian and I never thought it would be this serious this soon. We can't picture being with anyone else. We honestly feel like we are the people that God has made to be together, we are soul mates. I am so in love with him.
March 18th.... I had planned a nice day for Ian and I. I knew he had never been up to Multnomah Falls so I thought that I would take him there. I had written him a little something special and I wanted to read it to him while standing on the bridge. I read it to him and he looked at me with tears almost falling from his eyes and then told me he had a surprise for me too. It was then that he took out a ring and made me promises and put it on my finger. I could not have been happier or more surprised. When we called his parents, they were very excited for us. All of his family and friends seem to be very happy about us being promised to each other. I think it is easier for them because majority of them have met me and they love me. I fit so well into their family, I get along with all of them and I feel like they truly care about me and want Ian and me to be happy. It was a little more difficult when I told my dad. I procrastinated a little bit because I wasn’t sure how to tell him and was worried that he would be upset with me. In the end, he ended up being really surprised, but saying he was happy for me.
I feel like my relationship with Ian has not only strengthened, but also helped me grow as a person. Ian helps me look at myself in a whole different way, probably very similar to the way that God looks at me. Slowly I am learning that I am who I am and that really is okay. There will be times when I don't do something exactly right, but I will always have God. I am being reminded that I can run to the arms of God and let Him hold me like a little child and comfort me. No longer do I have to let myself be held down by darkness, but instead I am learning to break those chains and walk to the light. I used to just let myself get pulled back down and not fight back, but not anymore. Ian has not only stood up for me, but at points even taken me and shaken me. He is one of the few people that can get through to me and actually get me to open up and tell him what is going on in my mind. He lets me know that I don't always have to be so strong, he lets me open up my heart and he doesn't care about me any less. He understands that sometimes I just need to hide those thoughts away, but he is willing to be there when I am ready to talk about it.
He has also been there to celebrate good times with me. He was so proud of me just like I was proud of myself when I told him I get to be an "Inspiration Girl" at Curves. This means that I am one of two ladies who get to have their before and after pictures along with a little testimonial up on a poster on the wall. The purpose of this is so that other people can see what I have accomplished and be inspired by it. I felt truly blessed and honored to be asked.
Yesterday I finished my work sample, which was a huge project. It ended up being over 70 pages long. I don’t even want to think about how many hours I put into that project. I hope that I get a good grade on it. I worked really hard. I feel bad because I didn’t get to focus as much on my friends or on Ian as I wanted to because I was working on it. Once I was done, Ian, Renee and I all cheered because we all know how hard I had been working on it.
I did get to take a chance to do something fun this weekend though. Ian and I went to the Boat Dance that my school puts on. He never went to his high school proms, so this was quite a big thing for us. My friend Mary came over and helped me to do my hair and make-up. I totally felt like a princess. When Ian arrived, he totally did a double take and kept telling me how beautiful I was. While we were driving to the dance, he kept staring at me. When I finally looked at him and asked him why he kept staring at me, he smiled and told me he was still captivated by how beautiful I am. According to him, I was 13 out of 10. We got to see some of my friends who were all looking great too. He was being much more social than I think I expected him to be. There were some songs that we couldn’t really dance to or we didn’t want to dance to, but for the most part we had fun dancing together. The dance was on the Portland Spirit. The boat went up and down the Willamette River. Ian really enjoyed getting to go under the bridges and looking up at them. This was a new experience for him. The night was cool, but not super cold, so we had the opportunity to stand out on the deck for periods of time.
They didn’t really play slow songs at the dance, so when Ian and I got back to my place, we turned on God Blessed the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts. This is one of our favorite songs and one that we feel kind of describes our relationship and our lives. It was so romantic to have him holding me in his arms and dancing with him to that song. I put my head on his shoulder and danced with him. We also danced the John Michael Montgomery song called “I Swear.” The night was amazing and he ended it by tucking me into bed, praying for us and then blessing me. I love what a big part of our relationship God holds.
I look forward to this weekend coming up. Ian and I are going to go to Montana this weekend and spending Easter with his family. We haven’t had a chance to see his mom and dad in a while and I have never met his sister or her family. He wants to take me to Montana and show me his old house and area where he used to live before the house is officially sold and no longer belong to his parents. I have driven through Montana before, but I can’t recall a time when I have stayed there. I am not really looking forward to the long drive, but at least I get to spend that time with him. I think it will be a very fun weekend. It will be a nice way to relax and de-stress from all the stresses that have been present at school lately.
Overall, life is treating me very well. I feel very blessed and I continue to thank God for the many blessings He has given me in my life. I pray that He will continue to bless me and watch over all those who I care about and love.