*heavy sigh*
it was close, today was close, where i am almost went for the whole day about feeling good about myself. so close. but then i screwed up. figures. anyways, i must learn from my mistakes. thus why i write this kind of stuff down. or else i wouldnt learn. and then nothing would be accomplished. but really, as i think about it now. i feel quite accomplished with my life and who i am. kind on the "who i am" part, but i am working on it. but i feel with what i have done, the choices i've made. like the one earlier that i was talking about. without that choice, i know i wouldnt be the person i am today. and its scary to think what kind of person i'd be. but i won't get into great detail on that. i am not one for "what if". i like to set a plan and do it. and actually, after talking about it tonight. i dont really have a plan....for like, life itself and what i want to do. and once i do get this plan, i guess it'd have to be plan D. i got 3 other plans that i am set on. so now thats something that has made me think for most of the night, 2:19am particularly. of course i got that in my mind, and something else that only joy would be able to understand. ;) but other than that, its been a fine day. tomorrow we shall see. it'll be an interesting weekend to say the least. now we got my other bro, his wife, and newborn coming to howl-o-screem. then i should be back sunday. leaving me with monday to do some homework. and i prolly should do some tomorrow. we'll see. right now i can't think much else to say cause i am really starting to zone out into this terrible mindset of mine. and its something that will always stay in my head, unless tiny feet of the divine dance of joyous....is there, she'd know how i feel and how to treat it. but until then. i must go to bed, it is getting way late. tata