washing machine inside

[godsafari]

i am experiencing my first allergic reaction of my life today. i need to be reading and working on a paper and writing a spanish paper. i haven't read my bible today and i really want/need to. my eyes are burning, my nose is stuffed, and i feel exhausted. i really, really, really miss home and just the comfort of a real house. i really want to go to la jolla shores and just lay there on the hot sand and not think, or actually think and have time to let thoughts roll through my mind and feel like i have some sense of control on my life. i want to look at the bright blue, sparkling ocean, take a dip when i get hot, swim in the wave-less sea, and then come back out and let the sun warm the cool water off my back until it evaporates and then eat some fresh fruit and snacks. i want to cry right now but also sleep, but also, well i think that's about it. and my eyes are still burning. but i need to read mrs. dalloway for comp lit so i can write my paper. and how am i going to write a 15 pager for ethics? and it is amazing because i am really okay. God does honestly take care of me. and yesterday was freakin gorgeous and i layed in the sun for a long time and got a tan, and i said watch tomorrow it will be cold and cloudy and it actually was for some parts of today. and i miss talking more to someone of course, but i know deep down it is okay. but it still hurts. no fun. really difficult to want something and not understand why you can't have it right now. but hello, such is life huh? :) yes. it is true. i need to do laundry too. plus my body has been having weird ailments this quarter. but man, i am alive and healthy. i think i need to learn to take care of myself. like, for real. like, to really just do what i need to do.

why do my eyes burn from allergies?

and why am i online when i should be studying?

no, i am okay. really. :) honest. i am so serious. i am actually really good. just emotional. probably because that time of the month, though i hate to admit it. ;-)