special times
sue and i are famous enough to appear on the local free paper's online blog: http://weeklyvolcano.typepad.com/
[scroll down until you see a picture of us and hot dogs].
oh us weekly here we come. but they still haven't put up those hot dog pictures in the bathroom yet! we colored them what, like last wednesday? lies and deceit!
last thursday was fucking epic. so i went over to brandon's because he, hawk, ceasar, jesse [his roommate], his sister, and some guy he used to work with named tj were over there hanging out. i brought over a case of beer to share, but i guess they'd been having rum too before i got there. anyway, we were all just sitting around talking and watching a movie and having a few drinks and a good time, but i guess jesse had too much to drink, because he kept trying to pick fights with everyone over stupid things. we were ignoring him until finally i asked out loud if we could turn the heater on in the room, because i was cold, and for some reason this set jesse off and he started ranting about how HE paid the heating bill, so why should WE get to use it. which of course makes no sense, because everyone pays an equal share of the bills. so brandon told him to just get out of the room, because he was obviously drunk, and jesse was yelling but he was halfway out the door, when suddenly he turns back and FLIES at brandon swinging.
needless to say brandon had him on the floor punching him in no time. but finally he let him up and told him to go to his fucking room, and once again jesses makes for the door but then comes back swinging again! so brandon manages to get him into the hallway and they're fighting all down the hallway, and i'm just kind of sitting on the bed yelling "what the fuck?!" over and over while i hear shit breaking all the way down the hallway. everyone but tj had left before this started, so tj ran into the hallway to try and break it up, while i debated the pros and cons of trying to stop two 200+ pound men from killing each other.
anyway finally i ran out there and they had stopped punching but were screaming at each other and i got brandon round the middle and dragged him to his room while tj tried to talk to jesse. but jesse kept circling round the house screaming at the top of his lungs about how "brandon attacked me!" and how he was going to call the cops. it took about an hour before another roommate came home and got him down to his room. but all this time brandon was freaking out that jesse really was going to call the cops and/or get him evicted. neither of which happened but still freaky to deal with. also, around this time we realized that at some point during the fight jesse tried to hit smack brandon in the face with a cast iron skillet. brandon blocked, but it hit his hand and broke it. but he didn't notice at first and he hit jesse a couple more times before he noticed his hand was throbbing. now it's swollen to almost twice its normal size and he can't afford to go to a doctor because he just got laid off. great.
(right now i'd just like to take a break to remind you that if you ever feel the need to pick a fight with an ex-squatter who took jiu jitsu for ten years, you are retarded. brandon beat jesse so badly that I had his blood on me, and i didn't even touch the guy.)
anyway while brandon and his roommates were freaking out at each other tj decided that this was the opportune time to hit on me. [earlier on that day he'd been hitting brandon's sister. when she told him she was married, his response was "so am i!"] he kept asking if i wanted to "go for a walk" with him, because this "wasn't our problem". i said, uh, no, i'm staying in the house where my man is until the situation's figured out. and i'm trying hard to give this guy the benefit of the doubt, and not to start ANOTHER fight, but then this guy tries to play pool with me by doing that cheesy "let me show you how to shoot pool" putting his arms around me bullshit [although he was SUCH a gentleman and said, "sorry if i get a hard on, but i'm not used to being around such a beautiful lady!"].
i told him i wasn't down with that, so THEN he started trying to get me to kiss him. and i'm trying with all my might not to either scream at him, hit him, or tell brandon, because the situation is bad enough, but eventually this guy has me cornered in the pantry and is sucking on my neck before i manage to get away and run into brandon's room. i didn't tell brandon then, because i didn't want another fight to break out, but i tell him enough that he tells tj to leave. but tj spends another hour being a jackass before we finally give him bus money and kick him out, but then he somehow cons brandon's roommate jen into giving him a ride home. which we didn't know until after they left.
anyway i told brandon what actually happened, and he was furious of course, and then we realized jen was stuck in a car with this guy and we started freaking out that he was going to try and rape her. so we go to call her, only to discover that this asshole had made off with brandon's phone! we called it about 50 times and eventually it just turned off, so brandon went online and got tj's home phone and called it. his wife answered, and told us that she had just kicked tj out of the house about 5 minutes ago for being a drunk son of a bitch, and he was circling her house at the moment. and brandon told her about the phone situation, and also mentioned that he'd been macking on me, so she yelled out the window to ask him if he had brandon's phone, and the guy says "no, brandon gave it to me!" so brandon hangs up and calls his own phone, and retard tj answers and starts bitching at him about how i'm a bitch and i lied to his wife and am ruining his marriage and his life.
uh, yea.
brandon said he didn't give a shit, he wanted his phone back. and the guy says well, he can't bring it to him right now because he doesn't have a ride, so he'll just hang on to it until the next time he's by brandon's house and give it to him. obviously this wasn't going to fly, but tj hung up and that's the last we heard from him. we tried calling the next day, but he of course didn't answer, so we called his wife. she said that while she was at work friday morning tj came and broke into the house and stole just about everything of value. apparently he already has 4 warrants out for his arrest, so i think he's not gonna get very far with it. but so much for brandon's phone. :(
but happily jen got home and said tj didn't try to touch her, so everything was okay. you know, except for jesse's face, brandon's hand, and my damn dignity.
but on a happier note, this weekend kevin m and ben d drove up from california to visit. marvelous! i took them to the beach, the park, and brandon's house, then we went out to a bar/show/party out in the boonies somewhere [i'm told it was lakewood, but that house sure stank of puyallup to me]. i had a good time, and i hope you guys did, too! sorry about any/all the drunken annoyances but you have to admit there were some pretty special moments in there. we also spent a long time playing san francisco rush [IT'S DANGEROUS] and reminiscing about webcomics from the 90s. i'm not sure if everyone does that, or if it's a special phenomenon reserved for nerdy people who grew up the same time the internet was "growing up". does that make sense? like, people who got a computer when they were like 8 or 9 in 1995 and spent a lot of time on the internet, back when it was still kind of an adolescent type thing. or maybe i'm just trying to make myself feel special!
today brandon and i did a lot of walking, first to try and get his last paycheck [didn't work >:(], then to apply for foodstamps [anyone who says it's easy to scam the social services is lying! it's impossible to get a drop from them without selling your soul, even if you clearly need it], then to apply for jobs. hopefully some of these will prove fruitful. also last night we found the most boss spring rolls in tacoma and i am panging for them now. but now is time for bed because i have to get up and get fillings tomorrow. :P
[scroll down until you see a picture of us and hot dogs].
oh us weekly here we come. but they still haven't put up those hot dog pictures in the bathroom yet! we colored them what, like last wednesday? lies and deceit!
last thursday was fucking epic. so i went over to brandon's because he, hawk, ceasar, jesse [his roommate], his sister, and some guy he used to work with named tj were over there hanging out. i brought over a case of beer to share, but i guess they'd been having rum too before i got there. anyway, we were all just sitting around talking and watching a movie and having a few drinks and a good time, but i guess jesse had too much to drink, because he kept trying to pick fights with everyone over stupid things. we were ignoring him until finally i asked out loud if we could turn the heater on in the room, because i was cold, and for some reason this set jesse off and he started ranting about how HE paid the heating bill, so why should WE get to use it. which of course makes no sense, because everyone pays an equal share of the bills. so brandon told him to just get out of the room, because he was obviously drunk, and jesse was yelling but he was halfway out the door, when suddenly he turns back and FLIES at brandon swinging.
needless to say brandon had him on the floor punching him in no time. but finally he let him up and told him to go to his fucking room, and once again jesses makes for the door but then comes back swinging again! so brandon manages to get him into the hallway and they're fighting all down the hallway, and i'm just kind of sitting on the bed yelling "what the fuck?!" over and over while i hear shit breaking all the way down the hallway. everyone but tj had left before this started, so tj ran into the hallway to try and break it up, while i debated the pros and cons of trying to stop two 200+ pound men from killing each other.
anyway finally i ran out there and they had stopped punching but were screaming at each other and i got brandon round the middle and dragged him to his room while tj tried to talk to jesse. but jesse kept circling round the house screaming at the top of his lungs about how "brandon attacked me!" and how he was going to call the cops. it took about an hour before another roommate came home and got him down to his room. but all this time brandon was freaking out that jesse really was going to call the cops and/or get him evicted. neither of which happened but still freaky to deal with. also, around this time we realized that at some point during the fight jesse tried to hit smack brandon in the face with a cast iron skillet. brandon blocked, but it hit his hand and broke it. but he didn't notice at first and he hit jesse a couple more times before he noticed his hand was throbbing. now it's swollen to almost twice its normal size and he can't afford to go to a doctor because he just got laid off. great.
(right now i'd just like to take a break to remind you that if you ever feel the need to pick a fight with an ex-squatter who took jiu jitsu for ten years, you are retarded. brandon beat jesse so badly that I had his blood on me, and i didn't even touch the guy.)
anyway while brandon and his roommates were freaking out at each other tj decided that this was the opportune time to hit on me. [earlier on that day he'd been hitting brandon's sister. when she told him she was married, his response was "so am i!"] he kept asking if i wanted to "go for a walk" with him, because this "wasn't our problem". i said, uh, no, i'm staying in the house where my man is until the situation's figured out. and i'm trying hard to give this guy the benefit of the doubt, and not to start ANOTHER fight, but then this guy tries to play pool with me by doing that cheesy "let me show you how to shoot pool" putting his arms around me bullshit [although he was SUCH a gentleman and said, "sorry if i get a hard on, but i'm not used to being around such a beautiful lady!"].
i told him i wasn't down with that, so THEN he started trying to get me to kiss him. and i'm trying with all my might not to either scream at him, hit him, or tell brandon, because the situation is bad enough, but eventually this guy has me cornered in the pantry and is sucking on my neck before i manage to get away and run into brandon's room. i didn't tell brandon then, because i didn't want another fight to break out, but i tell him enough that he tells tj to leave. but tj spends another hour being a jackass before we finally give him bus money and kick him out, but then he somehow cons brandon's roommate jen into giving him a ride home. which we didn't know until after they left.
anyway i told brandon what actually happened, and he was furious of course, and then we realized jen was stuck in a car with this guy and we started freaking out that he was going to try and rape her. so we go to call her, only to discover that this asshole had made off with brandon's phone! we called it about 50 times and eventually it just turned off, so brandon went online and got tj's home phone and called it. his wife answered, and told us that she had just kicked tj out of the house about 5 minutes ago for being a drunk son of a bitch, and he was circling her house at the moment. and brandon told her about the phone situation, and also mentioned that he'd been macking on me, so she yelled out the window to ask him if he had brandon's phone, and the guy says "no, brandon gave it to me!" so brandon hangs up and calls his own phone, and retard tj answers and starts bitching at him about how i'm a bitch and i lied to his wife and am ruining his marriage and his life.
uh, yea.
brandon said he didn't give a shit, he wanted his phone back. and the guy says well, he can't bring it to him right now because he doesn't have a ride, so he'll just hang on to it until the next time he's by brandon's house and give it to him. obviously this wasn't going to fly, but tj hung up and that's the last we heard from him. we tried calling the next day, but he of course didn't answer, so we called his wife. she said that while she was at work friday morning tj came and broke into the house and stole just about everything of value. apparently he already has 4 warrants out for his arrest, so i think he's not gonna get very far with it. but so much for brandon's phone. :(
but happily jen got home and said tj didn't try to touch her, so everything was okay. you know, except for jesse's face, brandon's hand, and my damn dignity.
but on a happier note, this weekend kevin m and ben d drove up from california to visit. marvelous! i took them to the beach, the park, and brandon's house, then we went out to a bar/show/party out in the boonies somewhere [i'm told it was lakewood, but that house sure stank of puyallup to me]. i had a good time, and i hope you guys did, too! sorry about any/all the drunken annoyances but you have to admit there were some pretty special moments in there. we also spent a long time playing san francisco rush [IT'S DANGEROUS] and reminiscing about webcomics from the 90s. i'm not sure if everyone does that, or if it's a special phenomenon reserved for nerdy people who grew up the same time the internet was "growing up". does that make sense? like, people who got a computer when they were like 8 or 9 in 1995 and spent a lot of time on the internet, back when it was still kind of an adolescent type thing. or maybe i'm just trying to make myself feel special!
today brandon and i did a lot of walking, first to try and get his last paycheck [didn't work >:(], then to apply for foodstamps [anyone who says it's easy to scam the social services is lying! it's impossible to get a drop from them without selling your soul, even if you clearly need it], then to apply for jobs. hopefully some of these will prove fruitful. also last night we found the most boss spring rolls in tacoma and i am panging for them now. but now is time for bed because i have to get up and get fillings tomorrow. :P