I hate hang overs, strippers, and Jager bombs... oh god the Jager bombs...
UGHHHHHH my head. I need window shades to keep the bloody sun out. Ok so from what I remember of my night we get to the bachelor party and it's a nice "guy" atmosphere, lots of meat, lots of drinking, lots of poker, ect. So I get there and i get a rum and coke to start the night, then I get called over and find out since I'm in the wedding party shots are free. Well fuck. So my dad, Roy (my cousin the groom), my uncle Ron, my uncle tony and my little cousin tony (who's suspicious ID claims he is from Maine... a state which I'm reasonably certain he's never even seen) spent the night drinking and laughing like vikings. So 4 rum and cokes, 1 shot of Jager, 4 shots of captain, 1 shot of tequila, and 1 shot of some honey stuff that I can't pronounce later (in the span of about 3 hours maybe?), the bachelor party is ending. Poor Roy had a raffle where the prizes were bottles of liqueur and everyone that won made Roy take the first shot. Jesus in hell he was shit faced.
So we do one more shot of rum (Scott thankfully has kept sober and taken my keys and my knife before I get too toasted to think it's a good idea to use either) and then it's time for the strip bar. Strippers are awesome and bloody expensive. Whoever came up with the idea of exotic dancing is a freakin genius. I got there and oh yea did like 5 jager bombs because I suck at life. I buy Roy a lap dance and I buy scott a lap dance (freakin HILARIOUS by the way). So the place we went? Yea that no touching rule didn't really apply there. There was motor boating, nipples placed in mouths and much to scott and mines surprise one of the strippers leaned forward put her face in my lap and started mouthing my junk through my pants, to which my uncle Ron starts showering her with dollar bills saying I've never been more proud of you! ... I'm bringing Jess and buying her a stripper because THATS going to be freaking AWESOME. So Scott carries me out like 150 dollars later >_< fuck. Oh well cousins bachelor party. Had to go all out.
So that's what I remember from my night and oh my fucking god does my head hurt this morning. Gotta go lay in the dark for a while. Pray for me!
Love,
The Sadist
So we do one more shot of rum (Scott thankfully has kept sober and taken my keys and my knife before I get too toasted to think it's a good idea to use either) and then it's time for the strip bar. Strippers are awesome and bloody expensive. Whoever came up with the idea of exotic dancing is a freakin genius. I got there and oh yea did like 5 jager bombs because I suck at life. I buy Roy a lap dance and I buy scott a lap dance (freakin HILARIOUS by the way). So the place we went? Yea that no touching rule didn't really apply there. There was motor boating, nipples placed in mouths and much to scott and mines surprise one of the strippers leaned forward put her face in my lap and started mouthing my junk through my pants, to which my uncle Ron starts showering her with dollar bills saying I've never been more proud of you! ... I'm bringing Jess and buying her a stripper because THATS going to be freaking AWESOME. So Scott carries me out like 150 dollars later >_< fuck. Oh well cousins bachelor party. Had to go all out.
So that's what I remember from my night and oh my fucking god does my head hurt this morning. Gotta go lay in the dark for a while. Pray for me!
Love,
The Sadist