Telltale Signs That Something is Written by godofwine

[godofwine]

Because you know, if I ever participate in one of those Guess the Author challenges, you'll need to know this. (Or alternatively, because I'm so bored that I cleaned today for fun. No seriously. Long weekends are cool and all, but all the uni-related work I have to do, I'm putting off and I think I took a nap in there sometime to make the time pass faster. One of those days, you know.)

• A reference to it being John's birthday or him being born. I didn't know about this until I reread some of WIPs and realize that it's just everywhere. Oops.
  
• References to time/dates in general. For example, Given a Choice, It Will Always Be Sunday, Seven Past Ten, the one I was just writing Hundred Days. Things You Never Did is technically situated in abstract time. Um, continuity? I don't know, I just really like it. (In lotrips, I used place names a lot.)
  
• Rodney snark. Enough said.
  
• Really short scenes. I get bored. See header.
  
• Generic, un-detailed sex scenes. I've never mastered the art of writing porn. Oh well.
  
• Non-linear timelines. Also, usually in medias res and with flashbacks (leading to abuse of verb tenses, lots of "will"s and "had"s). Narrative stylistic preference.
  
• Abrupt endings if I can.
  
• A distinct lack of plot. I have complained about this ad nauseum.
  
• A distinct lack of emotion. Same as above. But I will try to "metaphorically" say this. Which means that if I say, "John likes the way Rodney butters his toast," what I'm really saying is, "John is absolutely in love with Rodney forever and ever."
  
• Water/ocean lust. Because I have it in spades.
  
• Teyla, Ronon, Elizabeth, and everyone else being almost entirely absent. Because I just don't care.
  
• Along that line, the thoughts of the character whose POV is not represented being entirely opaque. For that matter, the person whose POV is represented isn't that clear either.
  
• Basically if you have no idea what anyone really thinks and only half understand what's happening, yeah, that's me.
  
• Quick, so-a-plot-device explanations. See: plot and caring, lack of.
  
• References to in between moments, coffee, and/or clocks.
  

Have people made this list already? If so, I would totally love links. Because I am insanely curious right now.