She could kill him, Alice thought, she really could. First Dru, and that was totally enough, but now the revelation - which totally shouldn't have been one, not after she'd watched him in Vegas - that there was no problem, there never had been. There was something wrong with boys, she thought. And people under a century. And this list was going to get really long if she thought about it much more.
Anyway she couldn't be mad, not when he looked as worn out as he did now. She'd save that for the next time he got all tetchy, maybe when their hadn't been a frigging faerie visitation. It was making the whole course of action and next step thing a lot clearer, that was for sure.
"I know it's still you, you know. I mean-" She crawled back towards him, sat on his lap. "Ok so it's not all of you, but it's just like when I'm really hungry or whatever. It's kind of a nasty scene, just mine doesn't have as well-developed a vocabulary. Everyone gets all gimme gimme gimme sometimes, yours just comes with some sort of evolutionary boost and lemme tell you, pretty powerful one, you weren't kidding." She dropped a kiss on his jaw.
"God you need to shave, but whatever, you're kind of pulling off the scraggly handsome thing right now. And you don't have to make it up to me or whatever, I knew what I was signing on for." Mostly. "So I'll let you pick." She grinned. Alice was nothing if not unfailingly generous.
"We are gonna have to talk about some stuff eventually, you know. I mean not immediately, but I wouldn't be me if I wasn't putting it on your mental to-do."
Wrapping his arms around Alice, Thomas laughed a little at her words even as he nibbled at her ear. "I think it's got a better vocabulary than I do," he muttered. "Who the hell says 'chit' anymore?"
She was twisting in his arms, going on and on about shaving and more talking, so Thomas did what he did best. He tightened his arms around Alice and kissed her with all the heat and pent up desire from the Hunger's wake. Warm lips and soft skin, just a gentle, teasing tug at the want he could feel against her skin. His hands slid down her hips, pulling her just a little closer, even as he shifted against her.
"Let's go out," he said, finally surfacing for air. "We'll take a cab. Go see what this idiot town has to offer before we find someplace new. Route 66 has got to have something more interesting on it than Albuquerque." Another nibble at Alice's ear. "And I'm thinking 'in the cab' first. Then we'll see."
Sometimes Alice rambled just to get shut up. It took way longer with Jasper and it was more of a game than anything else cause he always knew. Thomas was easy in more ways than one.
She hadn't just been talking for the sake of it this time, but clearly he was going all alpha male Avoidance Starts Now and really, she had no objections, not after getting the full blast demon ray or whatever and ok, right here it was. Shifting to straddle him, Alice returned his kiss with a whimper, 'cause it was all of Thomas now and there was no reason to keep all that breathless, ragged wanting under wraps anymore. Hands flattened against all that lovely warm skin, and hips moves without much encouragement at all.
Then he was talking, which brought back the urge to smack him, but there were merits to the plan. It wasn't all about sex with Thomas; Vegas had proven for sure that she actually did like spending time with him, and if anyone could find fun in Albuquerque, it'd be them. There was just a finite amount of being incubus'd at one person could take, she figured. That ear nibbling thing was just unfair.
"Fine," she sighed, "let's go see Albuquerque. It can't be that bad, I mean it's like a major city, right? Let me get dressed." Which would take an extra long time; as revenge went it kind of sucked, but you took what you could get, and besides if this really did turn out to be a hick town she owed it to public to demonstrate total fabulousness.
Half an hour later, Alice bounced out of the bathroom in her elaboratelycoordinated best, topped with a hair clip that she thought matched her eyes perfectly. "So what," she said, twirling, "am I edible enough for a cab now? If I need a drink then you must really need one."
While Alice had been taking forever in the bathroom, Thomas had called down to the front desk for a cab. Normally he wouldn't have bothered, trusting cabbies to be circling the hotel like vultures, but this was New Mexico. "Edible enough for a cab and then some," he answered with a grin, wrapping an arm around Alice as she finally came out of the bathroom. He'd thrown on jeans and a black button-down, as always letting supernatural genetics substitute for effort.
"And yes, I want a drink." Thomas ran a finger under the strap of Alice's dress as he pulled her out the door. "So let's get going. Cab's waiting."
The elevator ride down was full of teasing touches and fleeting, increasingly heated kisses. Just a couple of young beautiful people looking for a good time, the likes of which this stupid town was not likely to see again.
The cab was, in fact, waiting as they stepped out of the elevator and into the lobby. A grumbling driver with sun roughed skin and smelling of stale cigarettes sat on the hood of the cab and gave them a once-over as they approached. "So where's it going to be?" he asked. Thomas shrugged and looked to Alice for a suggestion.
Really Thomas was underestimating the draw of smaller cities, Alice thought. She'd lived in plenty of small towns and they could suck for sure, but they always had their quirky places and people and that was the best part. So ok, she'd never been to New Mexico or whatever, there was fun anywhere if you looked for it right.
The elevator was a pretty fun place on its own, for example.
The cabbie looked pretty grumpy but whatever, Alice had just faced down a demon that wanted to eat her, Mr. Surly Ride wasn't going to be a thing, in fact he was getting her sweetest smile and a great big tip if he managed to stop scowling for five seconds.
"Well, Luis rattled off a bunch of places, seriously Thomas he almost talked as much as me except for that not being possible or whatever, but the only thing that sounded like even a little bit interesting was a tiki bar? I mean come on, kitschtastic, you know the place?" Eyelashes. Pause. Pixie smile. If that didn't warm him up he could just live with being grumpy and underpaid.
"You wanna go to Burt's?" the driver asked, eyeing the two of them with skepticism.
Thomas shrugged. The tiki part he could do without, but the bar part sounded just right. "Sure, why not?"
Another grumble and the taxi driver slid off the hood of his car, not even bothering to open the back door for them. "Damn tourist kids and their fake IDs."
Rolling his eyes, Thomas opened the cab's door himself and slid inside, pulling Alice in with him. They were going to have a good time; after all of that, they deserved it. Determined, Thomas didn't even bother waiting for Alice to close the door behind her before he started trailing kisses down her throat, one hand already sliding up her leg.
Fingers toying with the hem of Alice's dress, Thomas spared the cabbie a glance as he pulled away from the curb. "Take the long way there."
"Tourists? Seriously? I mean ok I realize people go wherever but is Albuquerque really a huge dr-hey!" Thomas seemed to do that a lot, and there was no way in which she minded, she was just getting used to the whole 'exclamation of surprise' thing. She tugged the door closed with her pinky and that was the last kind of attention anything other than Thomas got.
They'd spent plenty of time together in the last week and more than enough of it really blissed out as far as she was concerned, but getting that big a blast of incubus magnetism had left Alice more than a little warmed up. Slipping a cool hand under Thomas' shirt, she kissed him with all the held back longing and slow heat she had, her other hand wrapped around his neck, and smiled with a wicked appreciation for the fingers playing against her leg. If the cabbie was still driving them somewhere, that was his business. Alice was more concerned with how much maneuvering it would take to get that shirt off without ripping it.
Which might have been jumping the gun a bit, but they were supposed to be having fun.
The cabbie's eyes flicked back to his rearview mirror more often than strictly necessary, but Thomas ignored him and the steady motion of the car. He arched into the feel of Alice's hand on his skin, the cool touch leaving a now familiar path of sensitive skin in its wake. He could practically hear her thinking about how best to get his shirt off without tearing it. Not that he had minded that time they decided to sneak onto the pirate ship in Vegas.
He returned every one of her kisses with heat and want, coaxing those strands of emotions to wrap around them both like some invisible cocoon. "I definitely like this being able to surprise you all the time thing," he laughed, pulling Alice into his lap as he kissed her again, tasting desire on her tongue. With his own wicked grin, Thomas deepened the kiss, one hand at Alice's neck, pulling her closer, as the other slid up her leg and up the skirt of her dress.
His fingers traced light paths up the inside of her leg, playing against sensitive nerves and soft skin, trying to make her squirm. The back of the cab wasn't particularly roomy, but on the other hand, Alice was small enough that there was plenty of room for maneuvering. Nibbling lightly at her neck now, Thomas let his fingers tug, quick and teasing, at the scrap of cotton and lace she wore.
"Don't make fun of the handicapped, it's totally gauche." Anything else Alice might have to say was swallowed by the kiss, and he didn't have to try very hard to make her squirm. It was always good, but this time everything was sharpened by a kind of desperation she didn't usually feel (or at least admit to) and that was better.
Touches that normally drew heated anticipation were something like torturous, and if she'd been a less patient and disciplined Alice she would have done a lot more than squirm, kissing him with bruising intensity, hips reaching for those damned tugging fingers just a little more eagerly than they would have otherwise. As it was she was sliding her free hand around his waistband, 'cause if there was one thing Alice could do in a cramped space it was undo a pair of jeans without looking.
Then the cab stopped without any warning at all and her head slammed into the front seat and there was a very, very irritated Alice.
"Um, safety much? I'm pretty sure I heard him tell you to take the long way." Her best glare was usually reserved for Edward, sometimes Jasper, and people who talked down to her because she was tiny, but this guy was so not getting a tip.
"You been back there ten minutes, only takes two. That was the long way. Fifteen bucks." Albuquerque was already on Alice's shitlist, just for this.
"Fine, here's your money, and when you get far enough away I'm going to figure out when you're gonna die and I'm so not warning you." She dug through her purse and tossed some bills at him before getting out. And yeah ok she may have stuck her tongue out for good measure but he completely deserved it.
Climbing out of the cab before the cabbie could drive off into the dunes, Thomas couldn't help but laugh at the face Alice made at the driver as she tossed bills at him. "He's right, you know, the sign does say Burt's Tiki Lounge," he pointed out, snaking a hand around Alice's waist to rest at her hip.
He eyed the copious amount of neon and what little of the interior he could see through the windows. "Come on, there's a bar full of people to scandalize," he promised, heading for the entrance.
The line at the front moved quickly, and they were shuffled in along with the masses with in minutes. Thomas stared at the interior for a few speechless seconds, soaking in the brightly coloured lights and tacky plastic decor, before muttering to Alice. "Is this where good taste goes to die?"
Alice's mouth hung open in a seriously un-Alice way, but there were limits to the amount of stuff a person could stick to a wall and call it theme decor.
"Is this a bar or a garage sale? Oh my god Thomas, there's kitsch and then there's just- is that a bike?" It was. This was hysterical and tragic and like a million other things at once, and Alice would've laughed if she hadn't been interrupted by a waitress wearing a fake grass skirt and something like a tube top who looked like she'd been really super pretty about three drug habits ago.
"Booth or table?"
"Um, booth please I guess, and if you're-"
"Right over there booth minimum is one bottle plus two mixed drinks have a Tiki-tastic time." Wow, and so friendly, no wonder there was a line.
Alice pulled Thomas to the one booth still open, the rest of them filled with people who seemed to be having like the best time ever, so maybe it couldn't be too bad, plus none of them had Thomas. And she really wanted something fruity and slushy and drenched in alcohol, that sounded just about perfect. Then she saw the menu. That's when she started laughing for real.
"Oh, hey, Thomas?" she managed to gasp out between giggles, "I think I hate Albuquerque."
It was hard to decide what was more amusing, the sheer amount of random crap on the walls, or the way Alice was gaping at everything. "Give me your camera," Thomas demanded, reaching for Alice's purse as she pulled him into the open booth. "I need a photo of the look on your face."
And then he got a look at the menu. Only then did Thomas' jaw actually drop. Humping pigs. There were actual humping pigs on the menu. Alice's giggles were infectious and Thomas found himself chuckling along as he stared at the menu, and the drinknames. "I think I agree with you one hundred percent there, Alice," he answered, laughing so hard he was leaning against her for support. "But you have to admit seeing this place for yourself is worth it."
Another waitress in a fake grass skirt, this one wearing a plastic coconut shell bra instead of a tube top, approached their table. "What can I get you?" she asked, managing to sound bored and demanding at the same time.
It took three tries for Thomas to swallow his laughter long enough to say anything. "Let me get that Scorpion Bowl thing. And that Flaming Volcano." He nudged Alice and tapped at the menu, unfortunately right on the mooning monkey, "Should I be ordering for you, or can you manage two words without laughing?"
That was pushing his luck. He dissolved back into helpless chuckles.
The waitress looked really unamused which fair enough, she had to work there, and coconut bras were just uncomfortable, but the whole thing was just so insanely bad Alice could hardly believe it existed, never mind stop laughing at it.
"I'll have a Chi Chi, whatever the hell that is." That was all she could get out before the waitress walked away, which was just fine cause Alice really couldn't stop giggling. The menu said it was hard to make, so at least it would be interesting, and if it sucked Thomas seemed to be ordering enough to get the entire place smashed so she could steal some of his.
Speaking of which it had been way too frustrating getting slammed out of that cab, and as soon as she could catch her breath and stop laughing so damned much, she slid her leg over his and licked his neck, not like anyone would notice in the din that was really shitty garage rock and raucous drink sloshing.
"You gotta admit I'm the best dressed one in here, not that that's hard, but there's something to be said for presentation right? Oh and don't lean backwards, I think you're gonna get clonked by a surfboard with a really badly drawn naked chick on it." Alice grinned and tugged at his shirt collar, cause damn if she wasn't going to ignore every single ugly piece of crap around her.
"Um sorry um you're not. You know. Thomas Raith or anything. Are you?" Alice froze, expecting a messenger or some faerie or worse (what would be worse?), but when she turned all she saw was a group of three really tanned, really blond women in the tightest, lowest-cut white t-shirts she'd ever seen, which was saying something. And their hair was feathered. And the tips were frosted.
"Is Albuquerque stuck in some other kind of time vortex I'm not familiar with?"
The waitress arched an eyebrow, probably taking in Alice's size versus the amount of alcohol that was going to end up on their table. She then shrugged, as if the tip was worth more to her than worrying about someone else's potential alcohol poisoning. "It'll be out in a few minutes," she said, jotting down their order and moving off to another table.
There was only so much gaping anyone could do at the sheer amount of ugly crap on the wall, so when Alice slid her leg over his and started tugging at his collar, Thomas was only too happy to resume what had been interrupted in the cab. His hand was making its way up her skirt again when the blonde trio approached.
"Forget time vortexes. I think good taste just doesn't want to cross the desert," he muttered back. Undeterred, Thomas didn't move his hand, in fact moving steadily up Alice's leg as he regarded the group of women with a carefully blank look. "Thomas Raith?" he echoed blandly as his fingers slipped beneath the scrap of lace and cotton Alice was wearing. "Who's that?"
The eye rolling was well underway before Thomas answered. It figured, it just figured they could make it through a place like Vegas without getting recognized even one time, but pull up to a strip mall crap hole in New Mexico and it was all breathy heaving bosoms and are you Thomas Raiths and- oh he was not. Alice bit her lip. Hard. But they didn't seem to be moving so someone had to say something, even if it was going to come out about an octave higher than usual.
"Never heard of him, run along now, you don't wanna be late for the Barbie convention." Circa 1976 maybe holy god he was trying to make her scream right there in front of a squad of Farrahs. Lip biting it was.
"Just cause if you were Thomas Raith, you know from that show that you aren't on," said the Head Farrah, glaring at Alice and trying to look all sultry and breast-centric at Thomas, "we thought you might want to judge our wet t-shirt contest. It's for charity."
"How can a wet t-shirt contest be for cha-" No, lip biting it really had to be, 'cause if she made that sound again he would never let her forget it, or worse, he might stop.
Shooting Alice a sidelong look that under normal circumstances would have gotten him smacked, Thomas smirked as innocently as he could manage and renewed his efforts, thumb teasing sensitive nerves as his fingers drove deeper, quicker. The way Alice was biting her lip and trying to glare at the Plastic Brigade only urged him on with a growing unrepentant smile.
Said plastic brigade, on the other hand, got a dull-eyed leer. Thomas hadn't noticed how tiring being on camera 24-7 was until this trip with Alice, when they slipped through places with blissful anonymity, and he wasn't about to give that up. Especially not for the Barbie Triplets and the Plastic Mounds of Olympus. "Don't know who you're talking about. Don't watch TV," he continued, letting one of the neighboring patrons' irritating twang creep into his voice. "Name's Ben. Just here to show my girl a good time."
The waitress came by with a large tray, setting two glasses the size of goldfish bowls in front of Thomas and a smaller one that smelled of coconut and pineapple in front of Alice. "But if she's alright with it, you can show me your titties."
Anyway she couldn't be mad, not when he looked as worn out as he did now. She'd save that for the next time he got all tetchy, maybe when their hadn't been a frigging faerie visitation. It was making the whole course of action and next step thing a lot clearer, that was for sure.
"I know it's still you, you know. I mean-" She crawled back towards him, sat on his lap. "Ok so it's not all of you, but it's just like when I'm really hungry or whatever. It's kind of a nasty scene, just mine doesn't have as well-developed a vocabulary. Everyone gets all gimme gimme gimme sometimes, yours just comes with some sort of evolutionary boost and lemme tell you, pretty powerful one, you weren't kidding." She dropped a kiss on his jaw.
"God you need to shave, but whatever, you're kind of pulling off the scraggly handsome thing right now. And you don't have to make it up to me or whatever, I knew what I was signing on for." Mostly. "So I'll let you pick." She grinned. Alice was nothing if not unfailingly generous.
"We are gonna have to talk about some stuff eventually, you know. I mean not immediately, but I wouldn't be me if I wasn't putting it on your mental to-do."
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She was twisting in his arms, going on and on about shaving and more talking, so Thomas did what he did best. He tightened his arms around Alice and kissed her with all the heat and pent up desire from the Hunger's wake. Warm lips and soft skin, just a gentle, teasing tug at the want he could feel against her skin. His hands slid down her hips, pulling her just a little closer, even as he shifted against her.
"Let's go out," he said, finally surfacing for air. "We'll take a cab. Go see what this idiot town has to offer before we find someplace new. Route 66 has got to have something more interesting on it than Albuquerque." Another nibble at Alice's ear. "And I'm thinking 'in the cab' first. Then we'll see."
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She hadn't just been talking for the sake of it this time, but clearly he was going all alpha male Avoidance Starts Now and really, she had no objections, not after getting the full blast demon ray or whatever and ok, right here it was. Shifting to straddle him, Alice returned his kiss with a whimper, 'cause it was all of Thomas now and there was no reason to keep all that breathless, ragged wanting under wraps anymore. Hands flattened against all that lovely warm skin, and hips moves without much encouragement at all.
Then he was talking, which brought back the urge to smack him, but there were merits to the plan. It wasn't all about sex with Thomas; Vegas had proven for sure that she actually did like spending time with him, and if anyone could find fun in Albuquerque, it'd be them. There was just a finite amount of being incubus'd at one person could take, she figured. That ear nibbling thing was just unfair.
"Fine," she sighed, "let's go see Albuquerque. It can't be that bad, I mean it's like a major city, right? Let me get dressed." Which would take an extra long time; as revenge went it kind of sucked, but you took what you could get, and besides if this really did turn out to be a hick town she owed it to public to demonstrate total fabulousness.
Half an hour later, Alice bounced out of the bathroom in her elaborately coordinated best, topped with a hair clip that she thought matched her eyes perfectly. "So what," she said, twirling, "am I edible enough for a cab now? If I need a drink then you must really need one."
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"And yes, I want a drink." Thomas ran a finger under the strap of Alice's dress as he pulled her out the door. "So let's get going. Cab's waiting."
The elevator ride down was full of teasing touches and fleeting, increasingly heated kisses. Just a couple of young beautiful people looking for a good time, the likes of which this stupid town was not likely to see again.
The cab was, in fact, waiting as they stepped out of the elevator and into the lobby. A grumbling driver with sun roughed skin and smelling of stale cigarettes sat on the hood of the cab and gave them a once-over as they approached. "So where's it going to be?" he asked. Thomas shrugged and looked to Alice for a suggestion.
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The elevator was a pretty fun place on its own, for example.
The cabbie looked pretty grumpy but whatever, Alice had just faced down a demon that wanted to eat her, Mr. Surly Ride wasn't going to be a thing, in fact he was getting her sweetest smile and a great big tip if he managed to stop scowling for five seconds.
"Well, Luis rattled off a bunch of places, seriously Thomas he almost talked as much as me except for that not being possible or whatever, but the only thing that sounded like even a little bit interesting was a tiki bar? I mean come on, kitschtastic, you know the place?" Eyelashes. Pause. Pixie smile. If that didn't warm him up he could just live with being grumpy and underpaid.
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Thomas shrugged. The tiki part he could do without, but the bar part sounded just right. "Sure, why not?"
Another grumble and the taxi driver slid off the hood of his car, not even bothering to open the back door for them. "Damn tourist kids and their fake IDs."
Rolling his eyes, Thomas opened the cab's door himself and slid inside, pulling Alice in with him. They were going to have a good time; after all of that, they deserved it. Determined, Thomas didn't even bother waiting for Alice to close the door behind her before he started trailing kisses down her throat, one hand already sliding up her leg.
Fingers toying with the hem of Alice's dress, Thomas spared the cabbie a glance as he pulled away from the curb. "Take the long way there."
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They'd spent plenty of time together in the last week and more than enough of it really blissed out as far as she was concerned, but getting that big a blast of incubus magnetism had left Alice more than a little warmed up. Slipping a cool hand under Thomas' shirt, she kissed him with all the held back longing and slow heat she had, her other hand wrapped around his neck, and smiled with a wicked appreciation for the fingers playing against her leg. If the cabbie was still driving them somewhere, that was his business. Alice was more concerned with how much maneuvering it would take to get that shirt off without ripping it.
Which might have been jumping the gun a bit, but they were supposed to be having fun.
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He returned every one of her kisses with heat and want, coaxing those strands of emotions to wrap around them both like some invisible cocoon. "I definitely like this being able to surprise you all the time thing," he laughed, pulling Alice into his lap as he kissed her again, tasting desire on her tongue. With his own wicked grin, Thomas deepened the kiss, one hand at Alice's neck, pulling her closer, as the other slid up her leg and up the skirt of her dress.
His fingers traced light paths up the inside of her leg, playing against sensitive nerves and soft skin, trying to make her squirm. The back of the cab wasn't particularly roomy, but on the other hand, Alice was small enough that there was plenty of room for maneuvering. Nibbling lightly at her neck now, Thomas let his fingers tug, quick and teasing, at the scrap of cotton and lace she wore.
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Touches that normally drew heated anticipation were something like torturous, and if she'd been a less patient and disciplined Alice she would have done a lot more than squirm, kissing him with bruising intensity, hips reaching for those damned tugging fingers just a little more eagerly than they would have otherwise. As it was she was sliding her free hand around his waistband, 'cause if there was one thing Alice could do in a cramped space it was undo a pair of jeans without looking.
Then the cab stopped without any warning at all and her head slammed into the front seat and there was a very, very irritated Alice.
"Um, safety much? I'm pretty sure I heard him tell you to take the long way." Her best glare was usually reserved for Edward, sometimes Jasper, and people who talked down to her because she was tiny, but this guy was so not getting a tip.
"You been back there ten minutes, only takes two. That was the long way. Fifteen bucks." Albuquerque was already on Alice's shitlist, just for this.
"Fine, here's your money, and when you get far enough away I'm going to figure out when you're gonna die and I'm so not warning you." She dug through her purse and tossed some bills at him before getting out. And yeah ok she may have stuck her tongue out for good measure but he completely deserved it.
"Hang on a second, this is a strip mall!"
"You said Burt's Tiki, lady. Have a great night."
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He eyed the copious amount of neon and what little of the interior he could see through the windows. "Come on, there's a bar full of people to scandalize," he promised, heading for the entrance.
The line at the front moved quickly, and they were shuffled in along with the masses with in minutes. Thomas stared at the interior for a few speechless seconds, soaking in the brightly coloured lights and tacky plastic decor, before muttering to Alice. "Is this where good taste goes to die?"
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"Is this a bar or a garage sale? Oh my god Thomas, there's kitsch and then there's just- is that a bike?" It was. This was hysterical and tragic and like a million other things at once, and Alice would've laughed if she hadn't been interrupted by a waitress wearing a fake grass skirt and something like a tube top who looked like she'd been really super pretty about three drug habits ago.
"Booth or table?"
"Um, booth please I guess, and if you're-"
"Right over there booth minimum is one bottle plus two mixed drinks have a Tiki-tastic time." Wow, and so friendly, no wonder there was a line.
Alice pulled Thomas to the one booth still open, the rest of them filled with people who seemed to be having like the best time ever, so maybe it couldn't be too bad, plus none of them had Thomas. And she really wanted something fruity and slushy and drenched in alcohol, that sounded just about perfect. Then she saw the menu. That's when she started laughing for real.
"Oh, hey, Thomas?" she managed to gasp out between giggles, "I think I hate Albuquerque."
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And then he got a look at the menu. Only then did Thomas' jaw actually drop. Humping pigs. There were actual humping pigs on the menu. Alice's giggles were infectious and Thomas found himself chuckling along as he stared at the menu, and the drink names. "I think I agree with you one hundred percent there, Alice," he answered, laughing so hard he was leaning against her for support. "But you have to admit seeing this place for yourself is worth it."
Another waitress in a fake grass skirt, this one wearing a plastic coconut shell bra instead of a tube top, approached their table. "What can I get you?" she asked, managing to sound bored and demanding at the same time.
It took three tries for Thomas to swallow his laughter long enough to say anything. "Let me get that Scorpion Bowl thing. And that Flaming Volcano." He nudged Alice and tapped at the menu, unfortunately right on the mooning monkey, "Should I be ordering for you, or can you manage two words without laughing?"
That was pushing his luck. He dissolved back into helpless chuckles.
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"I'll have a Chi Chi, whatever the hell that is." That was all she could get out before the waitress walked away, which was just fine cause Alice really couldn't stop giggling. The menu said it was hard to make, so at least it would be interesting, and if it sucked Thomas seemed to be ordering enough to get the entire place smashed so she could steal some of his.
Speaking of which it had been way too frustrating getting slammed out of that cab, and as soon as she could catch her breath and stop laughing so damned much, she slid her leg over his and licked his neck, not like anyone would notice in the din that was really shitty garage rock and raucous drink sloshing.
"You gotta admit I'm the best dressed one in here, not that that's hard, but there's something to be said for presentation right? Oh and don't lean backwards, I think you're gonna get clonked by a surfboard with a really badly drawn naked chick on it." Alice grinned and tugged at his shirt collar, cause damn if she wasn't going to ignore every single ugly piece of crap around her.
"Um sorry um you're not. You know. Thomas Raith or anything. Are you?" Alice froze, expecting a messenger or some faerie or worse (what would be worse?), but when she turned all she saw was a group of three really tanned, really blond women in the tightest, lowest-cut white t-shirts she'd ever seen, which was saying something. And their hair was feathered. And the tips were frosted.
"Is Albuquerque stuck in some other kind of time vortex I'm not familiar with?"
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There was only so much gaping anyone could do at the sheer amount of ugly crap on the wall, so when Alice slid her leg over his and started tugging at his collar, Thomas was only too happy to resume what had been interrupted in the cab. His hand was making its way up her skirt again when the blonde trio approached.
"Forget time vortexes. I think good taste just doesn't want to cross the desert," he muttered back. Undeterred, Thomas didn't move his hand, in fact moving steadily up Alice's leg as he regarded the group of women with a carefully blank look. "Thomas Raith?" he echoed blandly as his fingers slipped beneath the scrap of lace and cotton Alice was wearing. "Who's that?"
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"Never heard of him, run along now, you don't wanna be late for the Barbie convention." Circa 1976 maybe holy god he was trying to make her scream right there in front of a squad of Farrahs. Lip biting it was.
"Just cause if you were Thomas Raith, you know from that show that you aren't on," said the Head Farrah, glaring at Alice and trying to look all sultry and breast-centric at Thomas, "we thought you might want to judge our wet t-shirt contest. It's for charity."
"How can a wet t-shirt contest be for cha-" No, lip biting it really had to be, 'cause if she made that sound again he would never let her forget it, or worse, he might stop.
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Said plastic brigade, on the other hand, got a dull-eyed leer. Thomas hadn't noticed how tiring being on camera 24-7 was until this trip with Alice, when they slipped through places with blissful anonymity, and he wasn't about to give that up. Especially not for the Barbie Triplets and the Plastic Mounds of Olympus. "Don't know who you're talking about. Don't watch TV," he continued, letting one of the neighboring patrons' irritating twang creep into his voice. "Name's Ben. Just here to show my girl a good time."
The waitress came by with a large tray, setting two glasses the size of goldfish bowls in front of Thomas and a smaller one that smelled of coconut and pineapple in front of Alice. "But if she's alright with it, you can show me your titties."
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