(no subject)
Life is too damn confusing. Just as soon as you have one aspect of it worked out, and you know exactly what's happening and why, something changes in another area. Or a totally new area pops into existance.
Once again I'm using this journal because I don't want my friends to read it. At the start of '03 I had a crush on this guy Brad. Eventually acted on it, and he told me he wasn't interested. Fair enough. Few months later he confided that he was gay. I was happy that he'd sorted himself out, and now I'm really really good friends with him.
Our relationship is a little odd though. We're very flirty, even though neither is remotely interested in the other romantically. I lie on him when we're watching movies and we play-fight etc. all the time. But we never go very far with it. eg. I'll put a pillow on his lap and lie down to watch a movie, but he won't put his arm around me or anything like that. But tonight, he did. He had his arm right around my shoulders, and hand holding my arm, even playing with my hair a little. So now I'm TOTALLY confused. If he'd been drunk or tipsy, I'd just ignore it but he hadn't had anything to drink.
I'm so cinfused cuz I had the thought that I'd be happy if he did like me. Perhaps I still like him as more than a friend but just don't know it? Then there's the fact that he's gay, or at least thinks he is. All of his friends(me included) think he's bi, cuz he's still turned on by hot girls, boobs and lesbians. So just now i had this crazy thought that maybe he's just realising that he IS bi. Or perhaps it's only because we were trying to convince him of it tonight.
I don't know!!! ='( I'm so confused and My mind just keeps running around in weird little figure=of=eight's . I couldn't write about this in my other diary because ppl might make a big deal of it, and i don't even know what *I* think about it yet, or even if there's anything to think about! *cries* I'm so lost.
Once again I'm using this journal because I don't want my friends to read it. At the start of '03 I had a crush on this guy Brad. Eventually acted on it, and he told me he wasn't interested. Fair enough. Few months later he confided that he was gay. I was happy that he'd sorted himself out, and now I'm really really good friends with him.
Our relationship is a little odd though. We're very flirty, even though neither is remotely interested in the other romantically. I lie on him when we're watching movies and we play-fight etc. all the time. But we never go very far with it. eg. I'll put a pillow on his lap and lie down to watch a movie, but he won't put his arm around me or anything like that. But tonight, he did. He had his arm right around my shoulders, and hand holding my arm, even playing with my hair a little. So now I'm TOTALLY confused. If he'd been drunk or tipsy, I'd just ignore it but he hadn't had anything to drink.
I'm so cinfused cuz I had the thought that I'd be happy if he did like me. Perhaps I still like him as more than a friend but just don't know it? Then there's the fact that he's gay, or at least thinks he is. All of his friends(me included) think he's bi, cuz he's still turned on by hot girls, boobs and lesbians. So just now i had this crazy thought that maybe he's just realising that he IS bi. Or perhaps it's only because we were trying to convince him of it tonight.
I don't know!!! ='( I'm so confused and My mind just keeps running around in weird little figure=of=eight's . I couldn't write about this in my other diary because ppl might make a big deal of it, and i don't even know what *I* think about it yet, or even if there's anything to think about! *cries* I'm so lost.