Nevermind...it wasn't important...

[godimbored]

Do you ever wonder about how everything changes yet people can still stay friends? I mean, we by nature it seems reinventing ourselves every few years is healthy. We change our hair and clothing constantly, we get contacts, we read books on changing our appearance, we go to intresting clubs in the hopes of meeting someone new.All these things to form a constant flow of inconsistence. If any moment could be the turning point, if any moment could be that last straw to a life changing, mind altering, years to come shaping, grand experience, then why is it often so difficult for people to face? If we know that a grand change could bring such wonderous things, why do we dwell on things of less importance that are in the here and the now? Is it our lack of patience? Is it our selfishness, have your cake and eat it to? I haven't the faintest idea but I would personally much rather the delusion of a perfect world at times, to the idea of losing oneself to make way for a bigger, better me. After prom which was last night I am sitting here fully coherent, sober, and back to the less alcohol induced state of last night and I keep thinking about a huge change, school is over, friends will move, other friends will stay, lives will change, and nothing will be consistent. I frequently rant about how such trivial matters don't bother me, that I am above and beyond such a teenage, adolescent phenomenon of missing of people who you didint even really seem to care about. Now, while I am not worried about things of that matter one thing keeps plauging my mind. The fear of losing her....If consistence is unhealthy, and change is for the better, I'd prefer to share my slip stream and coast into the future not alone. I keep thinking that the years to come will bring a broken link in my story, a rusted piece from years past that held on by the threads of youth, but broke its bonds by the future of adulthood. I always reassure myself that its a link of diamond, that nothing can break it. But what if it could be broken? What if the state lines are a diamond tipped blade, seething and churning, an organic blade ready to render the link from its comfortable set. If such a thing were to occur, I sadly do not know how I would cope. Of course the idea of what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, but I would prefer to remain weak if it meant a connection would not be severed...
cheers
-Jess
P.S. I've drawn one conclusion from the past few weeks....he is a fool and thus should be treated as one.