Heroes Returns and heck so do I!
Well here I am back again despite last season’s upsetting ending and we start with a monologue that is not being narrated by our resident Indian not a doctor Mohinder. In fact, Mohinder isn’t mentioned once or seen at all during this two hour wonder and I find myself not at all sad by that prospect. I’m hoping he and Molly are back in India waiting for Matt to get his head out of his butt and come home to them, but we’ll see.
The monologue is instead a eulogy given by this volume’s villain Samuel, who talks about family, redemption, revenge and coming home while we are treated to a montage of the main cast looking pretty and I stare at Samuel’s clothes, man he knows how to dress.
Also we get a quick flash of some grungy looking guy with long hair who I think is Sylar, but since that wouldn’t make sense, wait this is Heroes, of course it won’t make sense but hey it was a great huh moment. Anyway, Samuel manages to make me love him within five minutes, the other carnies look sad and they bury Samuel’s brother Joseph with a compass. I guess they thought he might get lost on his way to heaven or something, who knows, this is Heroes and people are weird.
Claire goes to college finally, and I mourn the fact TV people still cannot make a dorm room look realistic. My roommate and I were barely able to move in a room with two desks, a loft, my bed, a shared dresser and a closet, but Miss Perfect Claire gets a room with the beds on the floor and enough room to do yoga with a class of thirty.
At least I can take great pleasure in the fact her roommate Annie is the overachiever everyone in college loves to hate. The look on Claire’s face when Annie verbally pats her on the back about getting in with a GED made me laugh so hard, it was almost like Hayden was thinking. “But Tim loves me, why would he let this actress be so mean to me.”
We also meet Gretchen, who has hair I would die for, gets a crush on Claire in five seconds, join the Petrelli family honey, only way you are getting into those pants, and makes a Crossing Jordan reference, bitter much Tim.
Annie jumps out a window; Gretchen gets excited and thinks its murder and Claire jumps out a window to prove suicide, which given her history, Gretchen gets to watch in vivid detail. And I sit back, roll my eyes and wonder why Claude didn’t pop up to smack Claire on the back of the head with his thinking stick, because really she should know better by now.
Tracy returns to whine about how unfair life is, try to kill Noah, try to kill Danko, then whine about how she doesn’t want to be a killer. *sighs* Honey, Peter can let go of the past better then you and he’s a Petrelli, why don’t you take a page from his book and go find a rich man to be happy with.
Speaking of Peter, my clueless hot mama is currently living in an empty apartment, hasn’t talked to his family in weeks, good choice there, and is working to death having stolen Mohinder’s power before the man left for plot points unknown. Noah calls Peter out on his harsh living, despite living the same way down to the same mustard in the fridge.
Meanwhile, Samuel, cool smooth villain that he is paints the future on his tattooed girlfriend’s back, raise your hand if you laughed when he called her Lydia by the way, which makes me feel old for knowing the reference.
Learning Danko survived last season makes Sammy boy mad and he sends Darth freaking Maul to cut a key to a compass out of dear Emile’s stomach. Can’t say I’m sorry to see Danko swan off so soon, but I will miss the fun height trifecias Nathan, Danko and Noah created together. Oh and swallowing a key to keep it from someone can I just say…ewwwwwwww.
Tracy, thanks to her body turning into water on command, *sighs again,* survives her encounter with Darth Maul, whose name turns out to be Edger and Noah pulls Peter into the mess by playing the “I need you card,” in his generally awesome way. Peter, hot mama that he is, caves and gets a cool power and a kick butt fight scene for his trouble.
I love that it took casting someone like Ray Park, to get the writers to put in a fight scene after three seasons. I guess the geeks finally managed to make their voices heard outside of Hiro’s lines.
Anyway, Peter and Noah part ways, awesomely of course, Noah gets cut up by Maul, who takes the compass, and Peter gets to save the day. Meanwhile, Ghost Nathan gets so hot for this Peter he starts trying to find a way to jump him in the afterlife, hey it worked Anna Nicole Smith didn’t it.
Speaking of Nathan, he gets freaked out by his love of sushi that he doesn’t remember, learns he picked up a few new powers and begs for Peter’s help using lines from Season One. Also Adrian Padasar continues to knock playing confused Sylar/Nathan out of the park and I beg the writers not to throw him away once this plot is done with.
Angela of course is freaked out by this, well duh woman what did you expect, calls Matt Parkman for help and Matt blows her off because he’s seeing Sylar everywhere and his wife might be sleeping with Piper’s Hallewell’s son on the side.
Head Sylar follows Matt to work, sits in on his AA meeting, which is by far the best scene Zach has ever done. Also, kudos to the other actors for sitting through that to get a decent take, because I’m sure someone must have cracked up at least once.
Matt decides being an addict is much more fun and Head Sylar acts like a pleased Jedi Master in Zach’s lovely creepy way, while Janice starts pricing rubber rooms for the house. Just as long as Matt sticks with a relationship this season I’m happy with whatever plot the writers come up with.
Hiro gains another creepy mentor in Samuel, which makes me roll my eyes again because Adam and his lessons seem to have headed to plot hole land with Mohinder and Nathan’s body. But after some random angsting about dying, saving a cat and trying to fix his own life, Hiro finally learns tis better to give then receive and hooks his sister up with Ando using his time mojo and a slashy shove from Samuel.
Yes I ship it already, so what. But uh oh, it seems like everything was a plot by Samuel to gain four new members of his family as we see from Lydia’s back art and the pictures of Claire, Sylar, and Peter.
Dun, dun, dun.
See you guys next week!
The monologue is instead a eulogy given by this volume’s villain Samuel, who talks about family, redemption, revenge and coming home while we are treated to a montage of the main cast looking pretty and I stare at Samuel’s clothes, man he knows how to dress.
Also we get a quick flash of some grungy looking guy with long hair who I think is Sylar, but since that wouldn’t make sense, wait this is Heroes, of course it won’t make sense but hey it was a great huh moment. Anyway, Samuel manages to make me love him within five minutes, the other carnies look sad and they bury Samuel’s brother Joseph with a compass. I guess they thought he might get lost on his way to heaven or something, who knows, this is Heroes and people are weird.
Claire goes to college finally, and I mourn the fact TV people still cannot make a dorm room look realistic. My roommate and I were barely able to move in a room with two desks, a loft, my bed, a shared dresser and a closet, but Miss Perfect Claire gets a room with the beds on the floor and enough room to do yoga with a class of thirty.
At least I can take great pleasure in the fact her roommate Annie is the overachiever everyone in college loves to hate. The look on Claire’s face when Annie verbally pats her on the back about getting in with a GED made me laugh so hard, it was almost like Hayden was thinking. “But Tim loves me, why would he let this actress be so mean to me.”
We also meet Gretchen, who has hair I would die for, gets a crush on Claire in five seconds, join the Petrelli family honey, only way you are getting into those pants, and makes a Crossing Jordan reference, bitter much Tim.
Annie jumps out a window; Gretchen gets excited and thinks its murder and Claire jumps out a window to prove suicide, which given her history, Gretchen gets to watch in vivid detail. And I sit back, roll my eyes and wonder why Claude didn’t pop up to smack Claire on the back of the head with his thinking stick, because really she should know better by now.
Tracy returns to whine about how unfair life is, try to kill Noah, try to kill Danko, then whine about how she doesn’t want to be a killer. *sighs* Honey, Peter can let go of the past better then you and he’s a Petrelli, why don’t you take a page from his book and go find a rich man to be happy with.
Speaking of Peter, my clueless hot mama is currently living in an empty apartment, hasn’t talked to his family in weeks, good choice there, and is working to death having stolen Mohinder’s power before the man left for plot points unknown. Noah calls Peter out on his harsh living, despite living the same way down to the same mustard in the fridge.
Meanwhile, Samuel, cool smooth villain that he is paints the future on his tattooed girlfriend’s back, raise your hand if you laughed when he called her Lydia by the way, which makes me feel old for knowing the reference.
Learning Danko survived last season makes Sammy boy mad and he sends Darth freaking Maul to cut a key to a compass out of dear Emile’s stomach. Can’t say I’m sorry to see Danko swan off so soon, but I will miss the fun height trifecias Nathan, Danko and Noah created together. Oh and swallowing a key to keep it from someone can I just say…ewwwwwwww.
Tracy, thanks to her body turning into water on command, *sighs again,* survives her encounter with Darth Maul, whose name turns out to be Edger and Noah pulls Peter into the mess by playing the “I need you card,” in his generally awesome way. Peter, hot mama that he is, caves and gets a cool power and a kick butt fight scene for his trouble.
I love that it took casting someone like Ray Park, to get the writers to put in a fight scene after three seasons. I guess the geeks finally managed to make their voices heard outside of Hiro’s lines.
Anyway, Peter and Noah part ways, awesomely of course, Noah gets cut up by Maul, who takes the compass, and Peter gets to save the day. Meanwhile, Ghost Nathan gets so hot for this Peter he starts trying to find a way to jump him in the afterlife, hey it worked Anna Nicole Smith didn’t it.
Speaking of Nathan, he gets freaked out by his love of sushi that he doesn’t remember, learns he picked up a few new powers and begs for Peter’s help using lines from Season One. Also Adrian Padasar continues to knock playing confused Sylar/Nathan out of the park and I beg the writers not to throw him away once this plot is done with.
Angela of course is freaked out by this, well duh woman what did you expect, calls Matt Parkman for help and Matt blows her off because he’s seeing Sylar everywhere and his wife might be sleeping with Piper’s Hallewell’s son on the side.
Head Sylar follows Matt to work, sits in on his AA meeting, which is by far the best scene Zach has ever done. Also, kudos to the other actors for sitting through that to get a decent take, because I’m sure someone must have cracked up at least once.
Matt decides being an addict is much more fun and Head Sylar acts like a pleased Jedi Master in Zach’s lovely creepy way, while Janice starts pricing rubber rooms for the house. Just as long as Matt sticks with a relationship this season I’m happy with whatever plot the writers come up with.
Hiro gains another creepy mentor in Samuel, which makes me roll my eyes again because Adam and his lessons seem to have headed to plot hole land with Mohinder and Nathan’s body. But after some random angsting about dying, saving a cat and trying to fix his own life, Hiro finally learns tis better to give then receive and hooks his sister up with Ando using his time mojo and a slashy shove from Samuel.
Yes I ship it already, so what. But uh oh, it seems like everything was a plot by Samuel to gain four new members of his family as we see from Lydia’s back art and the pictures of Claire, Sylar, and Peter.
Dun, dun, dun.
See you guys next week!