(no subject)
I'm really having issues dealing with the fact that I won't be an elite. I am normal. What the fuck is up with that?
But the thing is, I STILL BELIEVE that I am amazing.
I can't help but feel like everything I've done in high school didn't matter. I already feel like it doesn't matter to the people I am directly affecting here at school. But my dedication to the things I love don't matter. How crushed will my kids be when they realize I was rejected by 80% of the schools I applied to. Well. Rejected by 60%. Wait-listed by 20%. Accepted to 20%.
How crushed would I have been in UCSC hadn't accepted me. How crushed am I that I'm normal?
I am so not down with this normalcy. I'm going to finish yearbook.
It's almost fucking over. I can't believe this stupid book is almost over. I hate yearbook now. Mrs. Link. I blame her. Yearbook used to be AWESOME. And people never fucked with the layouts. Well.. I'm going to finish this last page. And then it will be done. I am so excited about that.
This loneliness is killing me. I'm pretty sure that's from a song. I can't remember which as of now. But back to that, this loneliness is really boring the crap out of me. I want to kiss someone. I want to kiss them hard...
Goodnight. -Allison
But the thing is, I STILL BELIEVE that I am amazing.
I can't help but feel like everything I've done in high school didn't matter. I already feel like it doesn't matter to the people I am directly affecting here at school. But my dedication to the things I love don't matter. How crushed will my kids be when they realize I was rejected by 80% of the schools I applied to. Well. Rejected by 60%. Wait-listed by 20%. Accepted to 20%.
How crushed would I have been in UCSC hadn't accepted me. How crushed am I that I'm normal?
I am so not down with this normalcy. I'm going to finish yearbook.
It's almost fucking over. I can't believe this stupid book is almost over. I hate yearbook now. Mrs. Link. I blame her. Yearbook used to be AWESOME. And people never fucked with the layouts. Well.. I'm going to finish this last page. And then it will be done. I am so excited about that.
This loneliness is killing me. I'm pretty sure that's from a song. I can't remember which as of now. But back to that, this loneliness is really boring the crap out of me. I want to kiss someone. I want to kiss them hard...
Goodnight. -Allison