Jesus Fucking Christ
I am so depressed right now. I got a call from Mr. Jenkins today (he's Mr. Jenkins right now cause I'm pissed) and he's taken the job in Shelby. YES it's more money, and YES he's moving up the corporate ladder (yippie fucking do) BUT I HATE IT THERE. And so I was like, well he'll still have to live in Clover for 8 months (his lease) so that sorta cheered me up, but then on the way back from lab (my first break to actually think about this all day) I realized that he plans on staying there for five or six years. At least. And I want to get married withing the next five or six years. At least. SO THAT MEANS I MUST LIVE IN SHELBY!
oh dear god the horror.
I HATE THE FUCKING TOWN. I really do. It's depressing and has absolutely NO comfort factor, all the restaurants there SUCK (yes they're chain restaurants. every single chain's restaurant in Shelby is the worse resturant of that chain. I have no idea how they do that.) The entire place seems run down (b/c it IS run down), it's not near ANY of my family or friends, and it has the highest homicide rate of any county in NC. I'm going to get fucking shot.
Well, no I won't but STILL.
I just don't want to live there. I don't want to raise children there, and in six years, I'll be turning 27 I'll be ready to try and open a practice and have children. I don't want to raise them there, the school systems suck. (Clover does have a good school system from what I hear). There's absolutely no small town community aspect (even Charlotte has that to a degree, or at least pockets of small town community. I think that's just what Charlotte is, a bunch of small towns on a small piece of land). I do NOT want to be a newlywed there.
So what's the solution....hum...NOT GET MARRIED FOR FIVE OR SIX YEARS? IS THAT IT?
God and I thought we were actually going in the right direction. I LOVE Clover. It's near his family and near Chester. It's cute and lovely, he has a nice house there. Now we're going to crack cocaine city instead.
I just feel....GOD I feel like this is some giant step backwards in our relationship b/c he'll have to move there eventually (being the editor and possibly the BIG editor after that) and I don't want to move again. I HATE MOVING. And I don't want to live in Shelby.
Oh my god I'm not getting married for another five or six years. It's true, I'm going to be like senile before it happens. And how in the hell would I tell him, "no, I don't want to get married, b/c I don't want to live in Shelby." I mean, am I just being spoiled? It's just...my depression just pulls me down just thinking about it. The sun is always setting in Shelby, and..and...and that's the part of the day that kills me. Sunset. I'm fine before and I'm fine after, but during? I hate it.
I really just want to go to a bathroom and cry. I have to go to my next class b/c I missed it on Monday (a whole different story that seems very insignificant now) and I can't skip the whole week of classes for it. I just want to go home and cry until I pass out. Until this all just goes away.
oh dear god the horror.
I HATE THE FUCKING TOWN. I really do. It's depressing and has absolutely NO comfort factor, all the restaurants there SUCK (yes they're chain restaurants. every single chain's restaurant in Shelby is the worse resturant of that chain. I have no idea how they do that.) The entire place seems run down (b/c it IS run down), it's not near ANY of my family or friends, and it has the highest homicide rate of any county in NC. I'm going to get fucking shot.
Well, no I won't but STILL.
I just don't want to live there. I don't want to raise children there, and in six years, I'll be turning 27 I'll be ready to try and open a practice and have children. I don't want to raise them there, the school systems suck. (Clover does have a good school system from what I hear). There's absolutely no small town community aspect (even Charlotte has that to a degree, or at least pockets of small town community. I think that's just what Charlotte is, a bunch of small towns on a small piece of land). I do NOT want to be a newlywed there.
So what's the solution....hum...NOT GET MARRIED FOR FIVE OR SIX YEARS? IS THAT IT?
God and I thought we were actually going in the right direction. I LOVE Clover. It's near his family and near Chester. It's cute and lovely, he has a nice house there. Now we're going to crack cocaine city instead.
I just feel....GOD I feel like this is some giant step backwards in our relationship b/c he'll have to move there eventually (being the editor and possibly the BIG editor after that) and I don't want to move again. I HATE MOVING. And I don't want to live in Shelby.
Oh my god I'm not getting married for another five or six years. It's true, I'm going to be like senile before it happens. And how in the hell would I tell him, "no, I don't want to get married, b/c I don't want to live in Shelby." I mean, am I just being spoiled? It's just...my depression just pulls me down just thinking about it. The sun is always setting in Shelby, and..and...and that's the part of the day that kills me. Sunset. I'm fine before and I'm fine after, but during? I hate it.
I really just want to go to a bathroom and cry. I have to go to my next class b/c I missed it on Monday (a whole different story that seems very insignificant now) and I can't skip the whole week of classes for it. I just want to go home and cry until I pass out. Until this all just goes away.