just stuff...
Bethany and i went to the wake last night... it was more than my brain could comprehend... too surreal even when i was there in that room viewing the body...
she didnt look like Cheri... in many ways that made it easier... less real...
her family was holding up pretty good... better than i had expected...
Bethany started to tear out the moment we got inside the room... so we both walked over to friends that we know and she sat with them... this was the first time she had ever been to a wake...
so i went up alone... i stopped for awhile and looked at this collage of pictures that were on display... while i was looking at them Cheris daughter Jennifer came over to me and with a smile she pointed out a picture that had me in it... and she smiled... there i was weighing in at over a hundred pounds more than i am today... hair short... yep, that was me... a very long time ago... i said wow and Jen shook her head yep and with a smile she was off to rejoin the line...
i knelt before the coffin... then i went threw the line...
i found it easy to go threw the line and hug each one of them... when i got to her young son i told him he would have to come see me and i would feed him some tenders... he loves them from the restaurant... how strange to know that her oldest daughter loved the hash browns, her other daughter loved the chicken sandwich plain... and her young son loved the tenders... and add to that one of those cherry frozen drinks for Cheri cuz she truly loved them... so often coming thru drive thru just to get one...
when Cheri's brother, who was next in the line, heard me tell TJ to stop by for the tenders... he said what did you say... so i told him... then in this odd way his whole face lite up and he said oh do you remember the time i took them there to eat... and for some reason i had... and i said oh yes and you are a double cheeseburger man... this big smile washed over his face...
i found it such an odd happening... his over joyous reaction... as i think about it now... perhaps it was for a moment a reminder of a much happier time...
i did much better than i even expected...
when i got back to where Bethany was sitting she asked me if i would go out in the foyer and get her one of those memory cards... that is when it hit me... and hit me hard... i looked down at the table and seen Cheri's name in print... for some reason reading it written... seeing it spelled out... in memory of... that is what was too much for me... tears came easily...
i was so thankful that i was out in the foyer... i was able to try and compose myself somewhat before returning to Bethany...
we stayed for awhile... seeing one friend after another...
a quick stop to the grocery store... then one call to Serena to tell her we were on our way home so the little one could come visit...
i needed to see that little smile last night... thankfully he was able to come over and visit...
the poor little one had fallen down a few stairs earlier in the day... his face is scraped and banged up... too easily that kinda thing happens...
at the market i bought him this big ball which he absolutely loved so i had to go outside with him even tho it was late...
next thing i knew Manny was knocking at the door... he was there to visit... he had been working a long day yesterday and he just stopped over to see the little one knowing he had fell... he didnt have the car seat with him so Manny stayed to visit til Serena got there...
all was fine with him and Serena... she had told him about the little ones fall so he decided to pop over to see his face...
i crashed as soon as they left... i didnt even care that i was allowed to stay up much later, lol, lol... me and my insanity i know... yes, slave cmb can stay up til 11pm... so she usually does whether she wants to or not, lol, lol...
last night... this slave was mature... in bed before 10pm knowing she needed it... i do have my moments, lol... of wisdom, lol...
i dont even want to move... yet i must... time for work...
she didnt look like Cheri... in many ways that made it easier... less real...
her family was holding up pretty good... better than i had expected...
Bethany started to tear out the moment we got inside the room... so we both walked over to friends that we know and she sat with them... this was the first time she had ever been to a wake...
so i went up alone... i stopped for awhile and looked at this collage of pictures that were on display... while i was looking at them Cheris daughter Jennifer came over to me and with a smile she pointed out a picture that had me in it... and she smiled... there i was weighing in at over a hundred pounds more than i am today... hair short... yep, that was me... a very long time ago... i said wow and Jen shook her head yep and with a smile she was off to rejoin the line...
i knelt before the coffin... then i went threw the line...
i found it easy to go threw the line and hug each one of them... when i got to her young son i told him he would have to come see me and i would feed him some tenders... he loves them from the restaurant... how strange to know that her oldest daughter loved the hash browns, her other daughter loved the chicken sandwich plain... and her young son loved the tenders... and add to that one of those cherry frozen drinks for Cheri cuz she truly loved them... so often coming thru drive thru just to get one...
when Cheri's brother, who was next in the line, heard me tell TJ to stop by for the tenders... he said what did you say... so i told him... then in this odd way his whole face lite up and he said oh do you remember the time i took them there to eat... and for some reason i had... and i said oh yes and you are a double cheeseburger man... this big smile washed over his face...
i found it such an odd happening... his over joyous reaction... as i think about it now... perhaps it was for a moment a reminder of a much happier time...
i did much better than i even expected...
when i got back to where Bethany was sitting she asked me if i would go out in the foyer and get her one of those memory cards... that is when it hit me... and hit me hard... i looked down at the table and seen Cheri's name in print... for some reason reading it written... seeing it spelled out... in memory of... that is what was too much for me... tears came easily...
i was so thankful that i was out in the foyer... i was able to try and compose myself somewhat before returning to Bethany...
we stayed for awhile... seeing one friend after another...
a quick stop to the grocery store... then one call to Serena to tell her we were on our way home so the little one could come visit...
i needed to see that little smile last night... thankfully he was able to come over and visit...
the poor little one had fallen down a few stairs earlier in the day... his face is scraped and banged up... too easily that kinda thing happens...
at the market i bought him this big ball which he absolutely loved so i had to go outside with him even tho it was late...
next thing i knew Manny was knocking at the door... he was there to visit... he had been working a long day yesterday and he just stopped over to see the little one knowing he had fell... he didnt have the car seat with him so Manny stayed to visit til Serena got there...
all was fine with him and Serena... she had told him about the little ones fall so he decided to pop over to see his face...
i crashed as soon as they left... i didnt even care that i was allowed to stay up much later, lol, lol... me and my insanity i know... yes, slave cmb can stay up til 11pm... so she usually does whether she wants to or not, lol, lol...
last night... this slave was mature... in bed before 10pm knowing she needed it... i do have my moments, lol... of wisdom, lol...
i dont even want to move... yet i must... time for work...