A dream is a wish your heart makes...
So, since dreams seem to be a big theme between Devin and I, I thought I'd share the wacky one I had last night. No, it wasn't about me and Devin getting married. Devin wasn't even in the dream, not physically, at least.
Although, it WAS about me getting married. I really think I just need to stop thinking about it so much and focus on other things. I just picked up a copy of Rock Band for my PS2, which I have yet to open. Maybe I should use that as a good distraction. It probably also didn't help that I wrote a four page letter to Devin last night. And by four pages I don't mean two sheets of paper front and back, I mean four sheets of paper!
Okay, so back to the dream. In the dream I am getting ready to marry this guy. Now, at the beginning of the dream, I'm pretty excited, although, the guy was so ugly and SO not my type, so why I had ever agreed to marry him, I don't know. Anyways, we're in a church, all around us last minute details are being put together to be ready for the wedding. I'm just hanging out with my fiance, relaxing and waiting for the ceremony to begin.
Now, I don't know much about dream interpretation, and I really don't believe in that stuff, although I do find it interesting, but none of my family and friends were there at all. Not a one of them was present at my wedding that was going to be happening in just a few minutes. I was surrounded by total strangers, including my fiance who was a person my subconcious just came up with. In fact, towards the end of the dream when I was headed toward waking up, I realized I didn't even know the guys last name just his first (Craig, or Gregory, or something) and the heck could I marry a guy whose last name I didn't even know!
Anyways, as people are moving all busy around us, and the ceremony is growing closer and closer, I start having all these little doubts about whether I should really marry this guy. And all those doubts center around Devin, and remembering all the good times we had before he left (which was only, like, 2 weeks ago) and how I really do want to wait and marry him. But wait, this guy is a good guy, we get along, he'd make a great husband. I just keep vacillating between the two, unable to make a decision, and I'm getting really worked up and anxious on the inside, though I don't show it on the outside.
And there is a part of me that says it would be wrong to call off a wedding twenty minutes before it's about to happen, and it would totally devastate poor Craig, or Greg or whatever his name was. But I know that if I decide that this marriage isn't right for me, I'll do it and that those are poor excuses for getting myself into a marriage I know I don't want.
So, a member of the Bishopric comes to get us to meet and counsel with us once more before the ceremony. And now I'm really freaking out cause everyone around me is smiling and happy and excited and I'm just a mess inside. So, before I enter the Bishop's office, I say that I need a moment by myself and I run off to an empty room, close the door, kneel down and pray, because I need to know from my Heavenly Father that this is the right thing.
Except I'm not getting a clear answer, here, at all. All I can think about is that there's no reason not to marry Gregory/Craig, he's a good guy, except now I've realized that I'm not physically attracted to him, and in real life, that's a huge thing for me! But I also want to wait for Devin and marry him, but why wait to get married when the opportunity is staring me in the face? But Craigory is NOT Devin, and Devin is who I really want to marry!
Oi vey!
At this point, the room is suddenly innundated with bridesmaids in pioneer outfits sewn out of the most hideous materials with pinafores that clash with the underdress and little caps and I don't know a single one of them and in this part of my dream I finally starting to realize that, and that I don't even really know who my husband is or his last name and now it really just feels all wrong and could you stupid bridesmaids just get out of here so I can finish praying and get my answer?!?!
And then I wake up. Thank goodness. I was starting to worry that I was actually going to have to go through the dream version of marrying a guy that I don't want to marry! And man did I wake up missing Devin!
Well, I dunno if that's THE DREAM, the one Devin had, if he ever really had it, but it was certainly one crazy dream. And I had to write it down before I forgot it, but since it's not really something I'm ready to share with all those people who do know about Devin and I, I figured this was the best place.
So, there you have it. My dream. First one I've had in weeks. Maybe I will go look up dream interpretations...
Although, it WAS about me getting married. I really think I just need to stop thinking about it so much and focus on other things. I just picked up a copy of Rock Band for my PS2, which I have yet to open. Maybe I should use that as a good distraction. It probably also didn't help that I wrote a four page letter to Devin last night. And by four pages I don't mean two sheets of paper front and back, I mean four sheets of paper!
Okay, so back to the dream. In the dream I am getting ready to marry this guy. Now, at the beginning of the dream, I'm pretty excited, although, the guy was so ugly and SO not my type, so why I had ever agreed to marry him, I don't know. Anyways, we're in a church, all around us last minute details are being put together to be ready for the wedding. I'm just hanging out with my fiance, relaxing and waiting for the ceremony to begin.
Now, I don't know much about dream interpretation, and I really don't believe in that stuff, although I do find it interesting, but none of my family and friends were there at all. Not a one of them was present at my wedding that was going to be happening in just a few minutes. I was surrounded by total strangers, including my fiance who was a person my subconcious just came up with. In fact, towards the end of the dream when I was headed toward waking up, I realized I didn't even know the guys last name just his first (Craig, or Gregory, or something) and the heck could I marry a guy whose last name I didn't even know!
Anyways, as people are moving all busy around us, and the ceremony is growing closer and closer, I start having all these little doubts about whether I should really marry this guy. And all those doubts center around Devin, and remembering all the good times we had before he left (which was only, like, 2 weeks ago) and how I really do want to wait and marry him. But wait, this guy is a good guy, we get along, he'd make a great husband. I just keep vacillating between the two, unable to make a decision, and I'm getting really worked up and anxious on the inside, though I don't show it on the outside.
And there is a part of me that says it would be wrong to call off a wedding twenty minutes before it's about to happen, and it would totally devastate poor Craig, or Greg or whatever his name was. But I know that if I decide that this marriage isn't right for me, I'll do it and that those are poor excuses for getting myself into a marriage I know I don't want.
So, a member of the Bishopric comes to get us to meet and counsel with us once more before the ceremony. And now I'm really freaking out cause everyone around me is smiling and happy and excited and I'm just a mess inside. So, before I enter the Bishop's office, I say that I need a moment by myself and I run off to an empty room, close the door, kneel down and pray, because I need to know from my Heavenly Father that this is the right thing.
Except I'm not getting a clear answer, here, at all. All I can think about is that there's no reason not to marry Gregory/Craig, he's a good guy, except now I've realized that I'm not physically attracted to him, and in real life, that's a huge thing for me! But I also want to wait for Devin and marry him, but why wait to get married when the opportunity is staring me in the face? But Craigory is NOT Devin, and Devin is who I really want to marry!
Oi vey!
At this point, the room is suddenly innundated with bridesmaids in pioneer outfits sewn out of the most hideous materials with pinafores that clash with the underdress and little caps and I don't know a single one of them and in this part of my dream I finally starting to realize that, and that I don't even really know who my husband is or his last name and now it really just feels all wrong and could you stupid bridesmaids just get out of here so I can finish praying and get my answer?!?!
And then I wake up. Thank goodness. I was starting to worry that I was actually going to have to go through the dream version of marrying a guy that I don't want to marry! And man did I wake up missing Devin!
Well, I dunno if that's THE DREAM, the one Devin had, if he ever really had it, but it was certainly one crazy dream. And I had to write it down before I forgot it, but since it's not really something I'm ready to share with all those people who do know about Devin and I, I figured this was the best place.
So, there you have it. My dream. First one I've had in weeks. Maybe I will go look up dream interpretations...