"50 Shades Darker" by E.L. James
I HATE THESE BOOKS. Ok, with that out-of-the-way, you may question why I continue to read them. Again, I am reading them for a $30 bet for free alcohol. Where do I even begin with this review? In the process of reading both books, I have spoken to many friends who have read the book, and all of them are quite shocked with how much I despise the books. Once I tell them my reasonings, they looks at me quizzically and usually say, “I didn’t think of it that way.” I feel like I am on my island holding up a sign “EMPOWERED WOMEN ARE NOT HERE… HELP!” So Book #2 leaves off 5 days after Book #1 ends. Ana Steele decides after getting the shit spanked out of her that her BDSM relationship with Christian Grey is doomed for failure. I was promised that there was “more story in the story” (whatever that means, ha!) in Book #2, and I can agree that it has a bit more of a point. Book #1 focuses on girl meeting crazy man with deep emotional issues and enjoys kinky sex and gets sucked into his world. In those 5 days between books, she goes home, doesn’t eat, loses 5 lbs, and acts miserably. Sure, we’ve all had Depression Diet moments, but not eating in 5 days? Last time I checked, that will kill you. Of course, Christian finds her and gets her to come back to his sick world. Also, Ana is beginning her new job as an Assistant in a publishing house. Considering I work in a publishing house, I was curious to see how ”the world” would be described. Everyone knows that most chick-lit is about a young woman working either in advertising or in publishing. I guess it is a dream job (I know it was for me). Well, her boss is portrayed instantly as another sexual predator who can’t stop looking at Ana as if she is a prime conquest to his sexual urges. Of course, every man involved in this story is head over heels in love or in attraction with Ana. Also, none of these men can take no for an answer, and they are unable to be subtle. Does Ana have beer flavored nipples? Ridiculous.
The first part of the book deals with Christian’s ex subservient slave stalking Ana. I think I predicted this in my first review since this was the only option I could think of that would make sense plot-wise. Also, Christian tries to indoctrinate Ana into his rich lifestyle. His only friend is his ex-lover and rapist, Mrs. Robinson, i.e. Elena. One of the largest problems I have with this book is that Christian is previously damaged from sexual abuse from this woman. He was 15 and she was an adult. Last time I checked, this was called RAPE and AGAINST THE LAW. This point isn’t even explored. Christian and Elena are not only still speaking but BUSINESS PARTNERS. It blows my mind that this point is overlooked. It just propagates the “he is damaged and I can save him” theme of these books.
Eventually, Ana and Christian go to many lavish dinners, masquerade balls, and helicopter rides overlooking sunny Seattle (ummm…. when is Seattle ever warm and sunny? Like never!) Also, Ana is the worst employee ever. She shows up late, she is constantly texting her boyfriend and not working. Of course, the “creepy” boss tries to tackle her in a dark corner, so then Ana, again only working at the company for 1 week, is promoted to EDITOR. I just DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW PEOPLE THINK THIS IS GOOD!? The kinky sex in Book #1 actually becomes trite, predictable, and impossible to read in Book #2.
My favorite part of the book is when Christian’s stalker ex tries to kill Ana while hiding in Ana’s own apartment. You see, Ana is never home and is constantly with Christian. Ana goes home and finds the stalker POINTING A GUN at her, and instead of fight or flight, which is the biological response, she decides to make TEA and talk things out. WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?
Another major beef I have with these books is the abuse on every page. Christian is truly damaged, and he treats everyone in a controlling, precise way. If Ana’s dress is too short, he snaps at her and she thinks “does he love me still? Are we fighting? Oh no!” He is constantly upset with her demeanor, her eating habits, her friends, her clothes, i.e. everything. As I’ve said before, Christian is controlling to the point of abuse. Anytime a male friend is mentioned, Christian gets upset. Ana is constantly second guessing every decision she makes. Is that healthy? When he thinks she will leave him again, he goes into a meltdown and loses it.
At the end of the book, the obvious “proposal” scene happens. The course of these two books is five weeks. FIVE. Not only is it shocking to me that any woman would want to marry someone who clearly shows mental problems over five weeks, but almost all family characters in the book are thrilled for this wedding match.
In conclusion, I finally understand that women who are reading this and enjoying it are in the group of women who like to save men and fix them. I have never aspired to be one of these train wrecks, so hence, I cannot fathom why this would be good even as escapism. I’m sure I am forgetting many other points of my disdain and hatred for this book, but I think it is good if I stop now.
Jen’s Rating: ZERO STARS
I don’t think I can do Book #3. I am reading something else now. I can’t bear it.