Rambling
So I have spent the last few weeks trying to figure out exactly what I wanted to do in regards to school, life, career and so forth. I have had a lot to consider in regard to my upcoming graduation. It is kind of scary to believe that this chapter in my life is finally coming to a close. I have been taking college courses since 2001 and it feels like FOREVER. I have flipped through many different majors from Theater to Creative Writing to Early Childhood Education and so on. On one side I have gained a vast amount of knowledge about a bunch of different things and on the other side I spent way too much money on things that did not produce a degree.
I have managed to utilize most of my skills however. My 3 years spent in the Theater department got me two years of teaching experience at The Carnegie Arts Center teaching Children's Drama. My Creative Writing helped Facilitate my interest in creative literature and taught me to write short stories and start two novels. The Early Childhood Courses I took at KCKCC transferred over to Fort Hays State and became my concentration. My misc credits otherwise fulfilled electives and major core requirements. My one sole year at the University will produce what might be the most random degree anyone could ever ask for, but that's me. lol I have now taken so many Early Childhood/ Teaching/Development Courses that it may as well have been my full degree. But I will take what I can get so long as it gets me to where I want.
I have been interested in working within the realm of Special Education for years. I just had not yet figured out which direction I wanted to go. I am glad to finally have what I consider to be a direction. It couldn't come at a much better time. By the time Alex is old enough to really start having lasting memories of his childhood I should be out and about in some community teaching if things go my way.
One great thing about my endeavors is that I am now very well versed in the makings of children. I have education to go along with all my experiences. I have about completed a degree that is the first stepping stone to my career. My degree will make sure that I am well versed in the development in children from Birth to Kindergarten. Since all of those courses were completed a couple years ago I was able to transfer my knowledge to raising my son. My future endeavors will help further prepare me as he grows from a toddler to a young boy. My knowledge is going to be quite extensive once I have completed all my coursework.
There were a lot of people doubting that I would be a successful parent. People questioned my abilities to get things done and take care of a newborn. Their doubts were false because I succeeded. I have made it nearly two years with a baby, a full time job and full time school. My son is proof that Mom's can do it despite the factors that are against them.
Being a single parent has had it's ups and downs. I feel I have been pretty successful, especially keeping everything together. I am glad that I found a way to make things work with minimal assistance from friends and family. I have always been one to want to do things on my own terms, at my own speed and on my own time. I will say that I don't miss those long nights just after he was born where I had literally no sleep and from having to get up every hour and a half. It really sucks having to do that all by yourself. It was such a miracle to have a summer baby. I was off from work and from school. By the time I did resume my schedule he was almost sleeping through the night. It was fabulous. Despite my lack of sleep and finances I have thoroughly enjoyed having the little guy around.
In case anyone hasn't figured it out yet, (and in that case you must be clueless.. lol) the little guy is my biggest driving force in life. I have put so much energy and time and thought to making sure he has the best that I can give. He knows it too. Such a silly little stinker.
I can remember the very first time I left Alex with either it was my Mom or his Dad. Not sure which came first...but I was a nervous wreck. He was so little just a couple weeks old. I was so worried that something would happen or that he would need me when I wasn't there. I had to practically tear myself from him. I was so protective, so concerned and I stressed about him the entire time I was away. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Even today, I still feel that sting of guilt when I drop him off for any length of time. I know he worries that I am leaving him and that is why he clings to me so much when I am trying to walk out the door sometimes, or that he just misses his Mommy already. I always try to reassure him that I will see him soon. It's painful for me to leave him too. Those are the times when I really wish I was a stay at home parent. When he does return to me I always like to give him a big hug to let him know how much I missed him.
Soon we will have to establish a new routine. It will make things interesting for a while. Between now and then, in preparation for the new course our lives will take I plan to get as much done with him as possible. I know we wont have the time later on. I need to have the time to enjoy my baby while he is still somewhat a baby before he grows up on me. We will add in more cuddle time, try to do more fun things and go to more fun places and just have lots of Mommy and Alex time. We have already started this to some extent. In the mornings we get up a little earlier and right after we wake up and pee we park on the couch and watch some cartoons or read books. When we get home in the afternoons I make dinner and he colors and we sing songs some days. While I catch up on school work or chores in the evening he runs around my living room playing with his toys. He likes to bring them to me, show me how to use them or bring me books to read to him. At night before bed we sit in front of the computer and watch bilingual pre-k videos or just silly kids songs on youtube. We have a lot of fun together, I always hate to send him to bed. He is just to much fun to have around.
Bed time always just makes me a little sad. I miss his sloppy baby kisses. How he runs to me when his Uncle chases him in the house. The stories he wants to read over and over again.. the signs he still uses even though now he knows the words..the general silliness that flows around him. How his "Love You" and "Thank You" sound almost identical and so on.
So I have just rambled on for a zillion words and completely derailed my original intent. I don't even remember where it was supposed to be headed. Oh well. All I know that that my life revolves around my little guy and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I have managed to utilize most of my skills however. My 3 years spent in the Theater department got me two years of teaching experience at The Carnegie Arts Center teaching Children's Drama. My Creative Writing helped Facilitate my interest in creative literature and taught me to write short stories and start two novels. The Early Childhood Courses I took at KCKCC transferred over to Fort Hays State and became my concentration. My misc credits otherwise fulfilled electives and major core requirements. My one sole year at the University will produce what might be the most random degree anyone could ever ask for, but that's me. lol I have now taken so many Early Childhood/ Teaching/Development Courses that it may as well have been my full degree. But I will take what I can get so long as it gets me to where I want.
I have been interested in working within the realm of Special Education for years. I just had not yet figured out which direction I wanted to go. I am glad to finally have what I consider to be a direction. It couldn't come at a much better time. By the time Alex is old enough to really start having lasting memories of his childhood I should be out and about in some community teaching if things go my way.
One great thing about my endeavors is that I am now very well versed in the makings of children. I have education to go along with all my experiences. I have about completed a degree that is the first stepping stone to my career. My degree will make sure that I am well versed in the development in children from Birth to Kindergarten. Since all of those courses were completed a couple years ago I was able to transfer my knowledge to raising my son. My future endeavors will help further prepare me as he grows from a toddler to a young boy. My knowledge is going to be quite extensive once I have completed all my coursework.
There were a lot of people doubting that I would be a successful parent. People questioned my abilities to get things done and take care of a newborn. Their doubts were false because I succeeded. I have made it nearly two years with a baby, a full time job and full time school. My son is proof that Mom's can do it despite the factors that are against them.
Being a single parent has had it's ups and downs. I feel I have been pretty successful, especially keeping everything together. I am glad that I found a way to make things work with minimal assistance from friends and family. I have always been one to want to do things on my own terms, at my own speed and on my own time. I will say that I don't miss those long nights just after he was born where I had literally no sleep and from having to get up every hour and a half. It really sucks having to do that all by yourself. It was such a miracle to have a summer baby. I was off from work and from school. By the time I did resume my schedule he was almost sleeping through the night. It was fabulous. Despite my lack of sleep and finances I have thoroughly enjoyed having the little guy around.
In case anyone hasn't figured it out yet, (and in that case you must be clueless.. lol) the little guy is my biggest driving force in life. I have put so much energy and time and thought to making sure he has the best that I can give. He knows it too. Such a silly little stinker.
I can remember the very first time I left Alex with either it was my Mom or his Dad. Not sure which came first...but I was a nervous wreck. He was so little just a couple weeks old. I was so worried that something would happen or that he would need me when I wasn't there. I had to practically tear myself from him. I was so protective, so concerned and I stressed about him the entire time I was away. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Even today, I still feel that sting of guilt when I drop him off for any length of time. I know he worries that I am leaving him and that is why he clings to me so much when I am trying to walk out the door sometimes, or that he just misses his Mommy already. I always try to reassure him that I will see him soon. It's painful for me to leave him too. Those are the times when I really wish I was a stay at home parent. When he does return to me I always like to give him a big hug to let him know how much I missed him.
Soon we will have to establish a new routine. It will make things interesting for a while. Between now and then, in preparation for the new course our lives will take I plan to get as much done with him as possible. I know we wont have the time later on. I need to have the time to enjoy my baby while he is still somewhat a baby before he grows up on me. We will add in more cuddle time, try to do more fun things and go to more fun places and just have lots of Mommy and Alex time. We have already started this to some extent. In the mornings we get up a little earlier and right after we wake up and pee we park on the couch and watch some cartoons or read books. When we get home in the afternoons I make dinner and he colors and we sing songs some days. While I catch up on school work or chores in the evening he runs around my living room playing with his toys. He likes to bring them to me, show me how to use them or bring me books to read to him. At night before bed we sit in front of the computer and watch bilingual pre-k videos or just silly kids songs on youtube. We have a lot of fun together, I always hate to send him to bed. He is just to much fun to have around.
Bed time always just makes me a little sad. I miss his sloppy baby kisses. How he runs to me when his Uncle chases him in the house. The stories he wants to read over and over again.. the signs he still uses even though now he knows the words..the general silliness that flows around him. How his "Love You" and "Thank You" sound almost identical and so on.
So I have just rambled on for a zillion words and completely derailed my original intent. I don't even remember where it was supposed to be headed. Oh well. All I know that that my life revolves around my little guy and I wouldn't have it any other way.