(no subject)
Sometimes I wonder if you ever think of me in a positive way. You know, how things used to be? Where you were my shoulder to lean on and I was yours. I know I haven't talked to you in almost two years but it feels like just yesterday we were back in eighth grade and I met you for the first time. It makes me sad to know this happened but all things happen for a reason. Our parting ways was a hard time for me and it still is. I have a hard time completely letting it go. I still have all those cards and drawings you made for me. I doubt you still have those. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if you threw them away. Either way, I hope you can think of me in a good way. I still think of you fondly regardless of all the negative things said. Your words never bothered me. The last action you made did. I was chosen over another. I had a hard time wrapping my mind around it. You seemed to always care for me and knew I wasn't a horrible person. Yet you chose the person who was always in the middle of everything and ripped us a part. I am not mad at you. I was for a while but those feelings got replaced by just sadness. I will never fully understand your decision. I know you made it for a reason and maybe one day if we ever cross pathes again I will be able to understand. But, for now I don't. Through bad comes good. I did manage to grow up and mature in life and our relationship was becoming volatile and consuming. I felt suffocated. I couldn't move and was always worried if you would invite me places or think of texting me. It became draining. I just couldn't do it.
I will always think good of you. You were my first real good friend I had in a long time and things got messed up on the way. Jealousy, anger, and many bad emotions got in the way. I always defended you to people who said bad things and yes I did say some bad things about you but it was after the friendship ended. It was never you. The other person got in the way and I had to give up and let it go. I tried so hard for months to make things work out but people grow a part. We were on the same track for such a long time and then the tracks split in different directions. Of all my mistakes in my life I wish I could have fixed this one. I'm sorry for everything and if I ever get the chance to talk to you in a decent setting I will explain my actions and apologize for my mistakes. Your actions cut me the deepest. They hurt me the most because they came from someone I cared for like my own family member. I just hope you think of me fondly and can ever forgive me one day.
I will always think good of you. You were my first real good friend I had in a long time and things got messed up on the way. Jealousy, anger, and many bad emotions got in the way. I always defended you to people who said bad things and yes I did say some bad things about you but it was after the friendship ended. It was never you. The other person got in the way and I had to give up and let it go. I tried so hard for months to make things work out but people grow a part. We were on the same track for such a long time and then the tracks split in different directions. Of all my mistakes in my life I wish I could have fixed this one. I'm sorry for everything and if I ever get the chance to talk to you in a decent setting I will explain my actions and apologize for my mistakes. Your actions cut me the deepest. They hurt me the most because they came from someone I cared for like my own family member. I just hope you think of me fondly and can ever forgive me one day.