Deliverance.
So, Part 2 of my tour of duty across the soul-depleting corporate landscape, took me out of the CBD to the border, where civilisation meets "The Shire". "The Shire" is mostly famous for it's friendly beachside gatherings and being űber-bogan and proud of it. It has no redeeming features that I can think of.
Decorated by an over-zealous gardener with a penchant for the "outdoors, indoors" aesthetic complete with lianas and moulting palm trees, the Bank's head office is disarmingly wrong.The receptionist made some crack about spanking the woman I was meeting with and it almost seemed plausible. Once I had cleared security, I was escorted to a part of the building inhabited by people listening to the bogantastic, patriotic hit, "Land Down Under" by Men at Work on their transistor radios and sporting hawaiian leis. I'm not sure if this is standard practice at this bank, but it was disturbing enough that I have now cancelled my credit card with them. Bad music taste is unforgivable.
I met with the Manager of DE and her assistant who were freakish Australian equivalents of the Pauline and Dot from the laundry in EastEnders *shudder*. This resemblence kept me amused enough to mentally detach from the boring topic at hand and think about the laundrette in Albert Square until the insidious theme song wormed it's way into my head. *shudder* Pauline muttered something through her dessicated blonde hair about not knowing what she was doing everyday and Dot was in a hurry to go and buy a long black and fix her witchy clawed manicure. I have no idea. Banking is so boring and dry I would rather disembowel myself with spears than discuss the intricacies of finance.
I think this is my last "serious corporate meeting" for a while until the slack bastards at the interstate banks respond.
Meanwhile, back in what I thought to be the more civilised part of Sydney, spring has sprung and the mentally deranged have been let out from their cages to catch public transport with me.
Today, a dwarf standing next to me on the platform spontaneously broke into a sexy Beyoncé dance with "krumping", booty thrusting and a well choreographed jump (like the jump you do when you do the 'Nutbush'). The train was filled with people who smell faintly of liquor (I have yet to see it, but they apparently 'crack a tinny' and have some crackers too on the early morning trains) and boast proudly about how they always thought that "War and Peace" was "Warren's Peas" and purported to have only worked that out when they were "half way through the book"...???
I despair for humanity.....
....but this is rather fabulous.
Decorated by an over-zealous gardener with a penchant for the "outdoors, indoors" aesthetic complete with lianas and moulting palm trees, the Bank's head office is disarmingly wrong.The receptionist made some crack about spanking the woman I was meeting with and it almost seemed plausible. Once I had cleared security, I was escorted to a part of the building inhabited by people listening to the bogantastic, patriotic hit, "Land Down Under" by Men at Work on their transistor radios and sporting hawaiian leis. I'm not sure if this is standard practice at this bank, but it was disturbing enough that I have now cancelled my credit card with them. Bad music taste is unforgivable.
I met with the Manager of DE and her assistant who were freakish Australian equivalents of the Pauline and Dot from the laundry in EastEnders *shudder*. This resemblence kept me amused enough to mentally detach from the boring topic at hand and think about the laundrette in Albert Square until the insidious theme song wormed it's way into my head. *shudder* Pauline muttered something through her dessicated blonde hair about not knowing what she was doing everyday and Dot was in a hurry to go and buy a long black and fix her witchy clawed manicure. I have no idea. Banking is so boring and dry I would rather disembowel myself with spears than discuss the intricacies of finance.
I think this is my last "serious corporate meeting" for a while until the slack bastards at the interstate banks respond.
Meanwhile, back in what I thought to be the more civilised part of Sydney, spring has sprung and the mentally deranged have been let out from their cages to catch public transport with me.
Today, a dwarf standing next to me on the platform spontaneously broke into a sexy Beyoncé dance with "krumping", booty thrusting and a well choreographed jump (like the jump you do when you do the 'Nutbush'). The train was filled with people who smell faintly of liquor (I have yet to see it, but they apparently 'crack a tinny' and have some crackers too on the early morning trains) and boast proudly about how they always thought that "War and Peace" was "Warren's Peas" and purported to have only worked that out when they were "half way through the book"...???
I despair for humanity.....
....but this is rather fabulous.
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