FIC ~ Insecurities~ Ollian
Okay, so with the help of
leopardchic79 I'm going to start posting my fic. I've got both Verbotene Liebe and Without A Trace stories to post.... more of the latter with only a few so far of the former. And while I'm practiced in posting my WaT fic on Danny Martin dot net, I've never really posted my VL stories anywhere. Feedback is always welcome but not necessary. This is the first VL story that I'd ever written...
Title: Insecurities
Fandom/pairing: Verbotene Liebe, Christian/Olli
Rating: PG 13 (?)
Disclaimer: Entirely fictitious based on fictional characters that I in no way own.
Summary: Both men are insecure, neither expected it from the other.
Warnings/spoilers: None. Language might need a warning. Ummm. I don't know...
Every morning Olli woke up expecting it to be the day. He held his breath and waited for Christian to open his eyes and roll over to face him, realize that he, Christian Mann was in bed with another guy and freak out. Olli waited for that look of disgust he remembers so clearly from the first few months of his less than polite acquaintanceship with Christian. There was a few moments of tense awkwardness when he held his breath and counted to ten, waiting for Christian’s inevitable curse to be followed by him jumping out of the bed, only to make some excuses and rush out. It hadn’t happened so far, but it didn’t mean it wouldn’t, and Olli resolved himself to enjoy Christian’s love for as long as he had it, because he knew it was a rare gift, and as long as Christian was offering it, Olli was going to take it.
“Good morning,” Christian mumbled against the back of Olli’s neck, snuggling in closer. Their bodies were aligned and as Olli pulled Christian closer, he felt the thick erection of his lover against the cleft of his ass. A familiar feeling that always left Olli wanting more, and before he could stop himself, he moaned his own good morning and shimmied back with direct intention. Olli felt Christian gasp with surprise as his arms tightened around his waist.
“Morning Christian,” Olli whimpered again, this time intelligibly. His eyes fluttered shut and he shivered as Christian’s hand dipped from where it had been previously resting on his stomach, to cup his now hardening erection. There were no barriers of clothing between them and Olli bit his lower lip as Christian began to stroke him purposefully.
“I have to work,” Christian whispered regrettably as he began to roll them so that Olli was on his stomach. He trailed kisses from Olli’s jaw to his neck and down his spine as he rose to his knees, straddling the back of Olli’s thighs. Massaging as much of Olli’s skin as he could reach, Christian reached to the nightstand to grab a few items.
“Do we have time?” Olli asked, pleading. He felt Christian drop another kiss to his shoulder blade, dragging his tongue to his ear where he bit the lobe playfully.
“I’ll make time,” Christian promised. Olli’s eyes shut tightly and his hands balled up in fists. He felt the thrum of anticipation vibrate in his entire body and he tried to control himself. There were times that he could come, just from waiting for Christian to prepare him, and as much as he knew Christian loved how responsive he was, Olli didn’t want that. He wanted to come when Christian was inside of him. He wanted them to come together.
Minutes passed and Christian’s touch ceased completely. The only contact they had was Christian’s now still body framing Olli’s thighs. Olli held his breath and looked over his shoulder, surprised to see Christian watching him, concentrating almost.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know, you tell me. Why are you so tense?” Christian leaned down to kiss the spot between Olli’s shoulders. “What’s the matter Oliver? Tell me.”
Olli shook his head, he didn’t want to tell Christian what thoughts were running through his mind. They were about to make love, he wanted to focus on that, not on his own insecurities. He didn’t want Christian to know how afraid he was every minute of every day that this was going to be over soon. That he was afraid that Christian was only experimenting, proving something to himself and that any moment Coco was going to come back, or some other woman and Christian would change his mind. He shook his head and arched his back, grinding back against Christian’s erection. “Nothing’s the matter Christian.”
With a sigh, Christian lifted enough so that he could roll Olli over. Rather than move off of him, as Olli expected, Christian once more straddled him, pinning him to the bed. His arms framed Olli’s face and their mouths came together in a gentle, tender kiss. “Please Oliver,” Christian whispered against Olli’s mouth. “Something’s bothering you, tell me what it is.” His tongue danced hungrily with Olli’s, their bodies grinding together to seek the release they’d been denied thus far.
“It’s stupid, and you have to work. Please Christian, just make love to me.”
Their eyes met and Christian’s facial features softened. His cheeks turned a faint pink and his eyes focused on the pattern of the pillow case next to Olli’s head. Olli had spent enough time studying this beautiful man to know that there was something on Christian’s mind and it was slightly embarrassing him to bring it up.
“What...” Christian started before pausing. He bit his lip and Olli leaned up to capture it with his own teeth. “I think..”
“Christian, what’s the matter?” Olli’s question was cut off by Christian’s mouth, hot and hungry on his. They kissed until Olli had forgotten about Christian’s embarrassment and was seconds from begging for Christian to make love to him.
“What if I want you to make love to me?” Christian asked softly, his voice barely audible. “I ...I might be ready for you to make love to me.”
Olli thought he’d heard the other man wrong. In the few weeks they’d been together, it had always been Christian on top and him bottoming. Christian wasn’t entirely comfortable with the alternative and Olli was too in love with Christian to care how they did it. He loved Christian with his entire heart, and if it meant being a bottom for the rest of their lives, he would do that. But there they were, wrapped up in one another, Christian’s face pressed into the curve of Olli’s throat and their already slick bodies pressed tightly together, and Christian was asking him to make love to him.
“I keep waiting for you to leave me,” Olli admitted. He knew how hard it had been for Christian to admit that he wanted to be made love to, that he wanted Olli to be inside of him, and thus Olli knew that the only way to show him how much it meant to him, was to offer a confession of his own. Their eyes met and Olli waited for Christian’s inevitable blow up. Thankfully, it didn’t come. Christian expelled a deep breath and leaned in to place a peck of a kiss on his lips.
“What?”
“I ... I keep waiting for you to realize you’re not gay. For you to say you’ve been experimenting and leave me. I know how hard this is for you...”
“It’s hard for everyone...” Christian argued, turning increasingly pink from embarrassment. Olli cupped his face in his hands and rest their foreheads together.
“But Christian, you’re so masculine. Your brother is..”
“Leave Gregor out of this.” T here was no room for argument, Christian’s jaw tensed.
“But you have to admit, your brother plays a big part of this. You box. It’s... this is the last thing you wanted...”
Christian cut Olli off mid sentence. “You don’t know what I wanted...” They counted to ten and Christian sighed. “You’re right, it was hard at first, but I can’t deny this. I can’t deny you. And I’m sorry that you’re so afraid, but I’m afraid too. I’m afraid you’re going to find someone else who knows who they are and what they want.”
“I want you,” Olli interrupted, trying to reassure Christian. He stopped at the gentle smile on his lover’s face.
“Then why can’t you believe I want you?”
“I don’t know,” Olli admitted. “I just ... I never expected to be this happy. I never expected this...or you... and I know how hard you fought it... I just...”
“I love you Oliver,” Christian kissed Olli with more tenderness than Olli had ever been kissed in his entire life. There was more to it, a depth that hadn’t been in any of Christian’s previous kisses. A burning hunger, a need lay beneath the tenderness. Olli could see their future in that kiss and for that reason, he rolled them so that he was on top of Christian. He lay over him like a protective blanket, shielding him from all of his own insecurities and fears, and Olli knew from many discussions that there were a lot of both.
“I love you Christian, and I never want to pressure you into anything. I’m never going to go anywhere.”
Christian closed his eyes and turned his face to the side, as if shielding it from embarrassment. “I’m going to tell Gregor about us. Seriously tell him.”
Olli gasped softly. He turned Christian’s head and rest their foreheads on one another. “You don’t have to do that. Not for me.”
Christian’s eyes opened. “It’s not for you. It’s for me. And Gregor. He needs to know, and I need him to know. I hate this looming over us. Over me. I love you Olli, and I hate having to deny it. I hate how it feels.” They shared a gentle, tender kiss. “I’m sorry,” Christian finally said when it broke.
“For what?” Olli asked, settling on top of his lover.
“I do really have to leave. I’m already late and Gregor is going to be banging on the door looking for me soon.”
Olli nodded, rolling to the side. They shared a few more kisses and he watched in rapture as Christian climbed out of bed and walked naked to his closet to begin dressing. The arch of his back, the round of his ass, it all amazed Olli and he couldn’t tear his eyes off of Christian’s beautiful body. Caught staring, Olli blushed as their eyes met.
“Tonight,” Christian promised.
“Tonight,” Olli echoed as he burrowed deeper into Christian’s bed. He giggled as Christian climbed onto the bed and kissed him playfully.
“I’ll be a bit late. I’m going to help Gregor close down and tell him then, about us. Then ... I do want you to make love to me.”
Olli nodded nervously. The whole day he would obsess about this, about Gregor’s reaction, about Christian’s reaction and what it all would mean for him. “Okay. We’ll take it by ear.”
Christian kissed him again before standing up. “I love you Oliver, remember that.”
“I love you too Christian,’ Oliver echoed as his heart skipped a few beats.
Finis
leopardchic79 I'm going to start posting my fic. I've got both Verbotene Liebe and Without A Trace stories to post.... more of the latter with only a few so far of the former. And while I'm practiced in posting my WaT fic on Danny Martin dot net, I've never really posted my VL stories anywhere. Feedback is always welcome but not necessary. This is the first VL story that I'd ever written...
Title: Insecurities
Fandom/pairing: Verbotene Liebe, Christian/Olli
Rating: PG 13 (?)
Disclaimer: Entirely fictitious based on fictional characters that I in no way own.
Summary: Both men are insecure, neither expected it from the other.
Warnings/spoilers: None. Language might need a warning. Ummm. I don't know...
Every morning Olli woke up expecting it to be the day. He held his breath and waited for Christian to open his eyes and roll over to face him, realize that he, Christian Mann was in bed with another guy and freak out. Olli waited for that look of disgust he remembers so clearly from the first few months of his less than polite acquaintanceship with Christian. There was a few moments of tense awkwardness when he held his breath and counted to ten, waiting for Christian’s inevitable curse to be followed by him jumping out of the bed, only to make some excuses and rush out. It hadn’t happened so far, but it didn’t mean it wouldn’t, and Olli resolved himself to enjoy Christian’s love for as long as he had it, because he knew it was a rare gift, and as long as Christian was offering it, Olli was going to take it.
“Good morning,” Christian mumbled against the back of Olli’s neck, snuggling in closer. Their bodies were aligned and as Olli pulled Christian closer, he felt the thick erection of his lover against the cleft of his ass. A familiar feeling that always left Olli wanting more, and before he could stop himself, he moaned his own good morning and shimmied back with direct intention. Olli felt Christian gasp with surprise as his arms tightened around his waist.
“Morning Christian,” Olli whimpered again, this time intelligibly. His eyes fluttered shut and he shivered as Christian’s hand dipped from where it had been previously resting on his stomach, to cup his now hardening erection. There were no barriers of clothing between them and Olli bit his lower lip as Christian began to stroke him purposefully.
“I have to work,” Christian whispered regrettably as he began to roll them so that Olli was on his stomach. He trailed kisses from Olli’s jaw to his neck and down his spine as he rose to his knees, straddling the back of Olli’s thighs. Massaging as much of Olli’s skin as he could reach, Christian reached to the nightstand to grab a few items.
“Do we have time?” Olli asked, pleading. He felt Christian drop another kiss to his shoulder blade, dragging his tongue to his ear where he bit the lobe playfully.
“I’ll make time,” Christian promised. Olli’s eyes shut tightly and his hands balled up in fists. He felt the thrum of anticipation vibrate in his entire body and he tried to control himself. There were times that he could come, just from waiting for Christian to prepare him, and as much as he knew Christian loved how responsive he was, Olli didn’t want that. He wanted to come when Christian was inside of him. He wanted them to come together.
Minutes passed and Christian’s touch ceased completely. The only contact they had was Christian’s now still body framing Olli’s thighs. Olli held his breath and looked over his shoulder, surprised to see Christian watching him, concentrating almost.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know, you tell me. Why are you so tense?” Christian leaned down to kiss the spot between Olli’s shoulders. “What’s the matter Oliver? Tell me.”
Olli shook his head, he didn’t want to tell Christian what thoughts were running through his mind. They were about to make love, he wanted to focus on that, not on his own insecurities. He didn’t want Christian to know how afraid he was every minute of every day that this was going to be over soon. That he was afraid that Christian was only experimenting, proving something to himself and that any moment Coco was going to come back, or some other woman and Christian would change his mind. He shook his head and arched his back, grinding back against Christian’s erection. “Nothing’s the matter Christian.”
With a sigh, Christian lifted enough so that he could roll Olli over. Rather than move off of him, as Olli expected, Christian once more straddled him, pinning him to the bed. His arms framed Olli’s face and their mouths came together in a gentle, tender kiss. “Please Oliver,” Christian whispered against Olli’s mouth. “Something’s bothering you, tell me what it is.” His tongue danced hungrily with Olli’s, their bodies grinding together to seek the release they’d been denied thus far.
“It’s stupid, and you have to work. Please Christian, just make love to me.”
Their eyes met and Christian’s facial features softened. His cheeks turned a faint pink and his eyes focused on the pattern of the pillow case next to Olli’s head. Olli had spent enough time studying this beautiful man to know that there was something on Christian’s mind and it was slightly embarrassing him to bring it up.
“What...” Christian started before pausing. He bit his lip and Olli leaned up to capture it with his own teeth. “I think..”
“Christian, what’s the matter?” Olli’s question was cut off by Christian’s mouth, hot and hungry on his. They kissed until Olli had forgotten about Christian’s embarrassment and was seconds from begging for Christian to make love to him.
“What if I want you to make love to me?” Christian asked softly, his voice barely audible. “I ...I might be ready for you to make love to me.”
Olli thought he’d heard the other man wrong. In the few weeks they’d been together, it had always been Christian on top and him bottoming. Christian wasn’t entirely comfortable with the alternative and Olli was too in love with Christian to care how they did it. He loved Christian with his entire heart, and if it meant being a bottom for the rest of their lives, he would do that. But there they were, wrapped up in one another, Christian’s face pressed into the curve of Olli’s throat and their already slick bodies pressed tightly together, and Christian was asking him to make love to him.
“I keep waiting for you to leave me,” Olli admitted. He knew how hard it had been for Christian to admit that he wanted to be made love to, that he wanted Olli to be inside of him, and thus Olli knew that the only way to show him how much it meant to him, was to offer a confession of his own. Their eyes met and Olli waited for Christian’s inevitable blow up. Thankfully, it didn’t come. Christian expelled a deep breath and leaned in to place a peck of a kiss on his lips.
“What?”
“I ... I keep waiting for you to realize you’re not gay. For you to say you’ve been experimenting and leave me. I know how hard this is for you...”
“It’s hard for everyone...” Christian argued, turning increasingly pink from embarrassment. Olli cupped his face in his hands and rest their foreheads together.
“But Christian, you’re so masculine. Your brother is..”
“Leave Gregor out of this.” T here was no room for argument, Christian’s jaw tensed.
“But you have to admit, your brother plays a big part of this. You box. It’s... this is the last thing you wanted...”
Christian cut Olli off mid sentence. “You don’t know what I wanted...” They counted to ten and Christian sighed. “You’re right, it was hard at first, but I can’t deny this. I can’t deny you. And I’m sorry that you’re so afraid, but I’m afraid too. I’m afraid you’re going to find someone else who knows who they are and what they want.”
“I want you,” Olli interrupted, trying to reassure Christian. He stopped at the gentle smile on his lover’s face.
“Then why can’t you believe I want you?”
“I don’t know,” Olli admitted. “I just ... I never expected to be this happy. I never expected this...or you... and I know how hard you fought it... I just...”
“I love you Oliver,” Christian kissed Olli with more tenderness than Olli had ever been kissed in his entire life. There was more to it, a depth that hadn’t been in any of Christian’s previous kisses. A burning hunger, a need lay beneath the tenderness. Olli could see their future in that kiss and for that reason, he rolled them so that he was on top of Christian. He lay over him like a protective blanket, shielding him from all of his own insecurities and fears, and Olli knew from many discussions that there were a lot of both.
“I love you Christian, and I never want to pressure you into anything. I’m never going to go anywhere.”
Christian closed his eyes and turned his face to the side, as if shielding it from embarrassment. “I’m going to tell Gregor about us. Seriously tell him.”
Olli gasped softly. He turned Christian’s head and rest their foreheads on one another. “You don’t have to do that. Not for me.”
Christian’s eyes opened. “It’s not for you. It’s for me. And Gregor. He needs to know, and I need him to know. I hate this looming over us. Over me. I love you Olli, and I hate having to deny it. I hate how it feels.” They shared a gentle, tender kiss. “I’m sorry,” Christian finally said when it broke.
“For what?” Olli asked, settling on top of his lover.
“I do really have to leave. I’m already late and Gregor is going to be banging on the door looking for me soon.”
Olli nodded, rolling to the side. They shared a few more kisses and he watched in rapture as Christian climbed out of bed and walked naked to his closet to begin dressing. The arch of his back, the round of his ass, it all amazed Olli and he couldn’t tear his eyes off of Christian’s beautiful body. Caught staring, Olli blushed as their eyes met.
“Tonight,” Christian promised.
“Tonight,” Olli echoed as he burrowed deeper into Christian’s bed. He giggled as Christian climbed onto the bed and kissed him playfully.
“I’ll be a bit late. I’m going to help Gregor close down and tell him then, about us. Then ... I do want you to make love to me.”
Olli nodded nervously. The whole day he would obsess about this, about Gregor’s reaction, about Christian’s reaction and what it all would mean for him. “Okay. We’ll take it by ear.”
Christian kissed him again before standing up. “I love you Oliver, remember that.”
“I love you too Christian,’ Oliver echoed as his heart skipped a few beats.
Finis