Stupid analogy is stupid
My ponderings while I eat my lunch- a frozen Healthy Choice Steamer meal. Not frozen anymore, of course.
People, and having relationships with them, is like choosing and eating a frozen entree.
The people are the meals, see. People are mixed bags of thoughts and feelings and habits. Each of those is an 'ingredient', much like a frozen meal might have peppers, onions, rice, turkey, chicken, etc. Some of those 'ingredients' are good for you, some are bad for you. Some are not necessarily *bad* for you, but you just don't like them.
For example, I am deathly allergic to peppers. They will kill me, literally. So, if I am picking out a frozen meal, I am going to avoid meals with peppers. I will also avoid meals with tomatoes, since they make me wish I was dead. I'll eat the occasional meal with potatoes, even though they affect me badly because it's not as bad.
In the relationship world, there are qualities in people that I consider myself "allergic" to- or that are toxic in some way. I won't be friends with someone who makes racist slurs, who is demeaning to women, who hurts people out of maliciousness. Those are peppers and tomatoes, to me. Those ingredients put the whole dish off limit period. Hurting people out of genuine thoughtlessness or from just not realizing that what they are doing is hurtful, I might extend a grace period too, if they seem willing to learn and grow. That's a potato.
I look for ingredients I genuinely enjoy- carrots, sugar snap peas, rice, chicken, fruit. Those would equate to kindness, a good sense of humor, intelligence, responsibility. If there's enough of those, that affects whether or not I'm willing to take a chance on a "meal" that includes ingredients I'm not as fond of, like mushrooms. Mushrooms being things like interrupting me when I'm talking, or picking their teeth with their plastic forks, that kind of thing. The kinds of things that are annoying, but not really dangerous.
Anyway, pondering time is over.
People, and having relationships with them, is like choosing and eating a frozen entree.
The people are the meals, see. People are mixed bags of thoughts and feelings and habits. Each of those is an 'ingredient', much like a frozen meal might have peppers, onions, rice, turkey, chicken, etc. Some of those 'ingredients' are good for you, some are bad for you. Some are not necessarily *bad* for you, but you just don't like them.
For example, I am deathly allergic to peppers. They will kill me, literally. So, if I am picking out a frozen meal, I am going to avoid meals with peppers. I will also avoid meals with tomatoes, since they make me wish I was dead. I'll eat the occasional meal with potatoes, even though they affect me badly because it's not as bad.
In the relationship world, there are qualities in people that I consider myself "allergic" to- or that are toxic in some way. I won't be friends with someone who makes racist slurs, who is demeaning to women, who hurts people out of maliciousness. Those are peppers and tomatoes, to me. Those ingredients put the whole dish off limit period. Hurting people out of genuine thoughtlessness or from just not realizing that what they are doing is hurtful, I might extend a grace period too, if they seem willing to learn and grow. That's a potato.
I look for ingredients I genuinely enjoy- carrots, sugar snap peas, rice, chicken, fruit. Those would equate to kindness, a good sense of humor, intelligence, responsibility. If there's enough of those, that affects whether or not I'm willing to take a chance on a "meal" that includes ingredients I'm not as fond of, like mushrooms. Mushrooms being things like interrupting me when I'm talking, or picking their teeth with their plastic forks, that kind of thing. The kinds of things that are annoying, but not really dangerous.
Anyway, pondering time is over.